I married this man 10 yrs ago and i have never enjoy the marriage even for one day. He had nothing when I got married to him because I believe everything will be fine if both of us join hands together and work hard. I wish I married a rich man that is giving me all I want and maltreating me as the one I married is treating me.
Several times I have knelt down to beg him for offence I did not commit just for peace to reign. I hate malice and he likes it alot. He can keep malice for 6months without talking to me. I know I have made the gravest mistake of my life because this is not the marriage I prayed for. I wanted a friend as a husband but God gave me a boss that always see me as subordinate. I don't ask him money even when I know he has numerous girlfriend that he's spending for. He always defend his girlfriends anytime I challenge them. Honestly am dying slowly, i decided to end it all last year by taking poisonous liquid but I survived. Am just so lonely and I don't want to cheat, honestly I don't want to. Am trapped already and he told me I can't take his 2 kids away because I told him I want to go and get apartment. My kids are my life and I can't leave them.
I know there are lots of responsible married people here, please is this what marriage all about

I don't even know what to say....let me invite the elders...

Crackhaus (chief analyst on marital affeez!
Sisisioge....the FA crooner
Bukatyne...




But like seriously why must one experience all these shits in marriage.
Is it ill-luck,fate or what?

Funny enough those men appears responsible looking and respectable outside.

Beejaynma:
I married this man 10 yrs ago and i have never enjoy the marriage even for one day. He had nothing when I got married to him because I believe everything will be fine if both of us join hands together and work hard. I wish I married a rich man that is giving me all I want and maltreating me as the one I married is treating me.
Several times I have knelt down to beg him for offence I did not commit just for peace to reign. I hate malice and he likes it a lot. He can keep malice for 6months without talking to me. I know I have made the gravest mistake of my life because this is not the marriage I prayed for. I wanted a friend as a husband but God gave me a boss that always see me as subordinate. I don't ask him money even when I know he has numerous girlfriend that he's spending for. He always defend his girlfriends anytime I challenge them. Honestly am dying slowly, i decided to end it all last year by taking poisonous liquid but I survived. Am just so lonely and I don't want to cheat, honestly I don't want to. Am trapped already and he told me I can't take his 2 kids away because I told him I want to go and get apartment. My kids are my life and I can't leave them.
I know there are lots of responsible married people here, please is this what marriage is all about

No, marriage isn't all about procreation .
Its going to be hard advising, because drastic measures need to be taken to find a lasting solution .

You also didn't mention any form of affection towards him, this also makes things a bit harder, I know its hard to have affection towards such person.
It may hurt to say this, but people should always be on the look out for one key factor when choosing a spouse; their mentality , its one of the things that is almost impossible to change.

A man who believes a woman is an object, and a subordinate would most likely never change.

Please don't ever try to take your life again, if you truly care about your children. If you kill yourself, your children would suffer a great deal, remember that always...No woman would treat your kids as good as you will.

Wishing you married a rich man would not also guarantee your happiness.. Happiness and friendship isn't in what the person has, but in how the person thinks, the values the person has. There are crazy rich men, who would make your life very miserable, I read about one recently .

Thankfully you didn't make mention of physical violence, what you are experiencing is emotional torture, its also a very dangerous issue. But its also considerably easy to resolve, you just have to do it the right way.

For us to solve any problem, we first have to understand the source/root of the problem, and neutralize it .
I would encourage you both to see a counselor, because sometimes, we think we are not doing anything wrong, but in fact we are wrong, just that the other party isn't handling the issue or their displeasure the right way( I am in no way trying to justify his attitude , its totally wrong ).

If you don't want to see a counselor, sit him down, and have a talk with him . Tell him how much you value your home, and how much you would like him to be your friend, and treat you right, also ask him if there is anything he expects of you that you aren't doing right, you might be amazed at the things he would say...Again I am not justifying his acts.....But some men, don't like communicating their displeasure, they prefer to act disrespectful, some women do this too....So you both have to communicate......As I always say, most marital issues, no matter how big they may seem, stem from one small problem, or a combination of small problems, that can be easily resolved if they are treated and resolved gradually, one at a time.

If things don't change, the next step is to rewire your brain and change your mentality, every body deserves to be loved....Everybody would love to be treated right by their spouse, but if it doesn't work, you have three options :

1. Find another source of happiness and friendship in your children, get a hobby, learn a skill online, watch movies, occupy your mind with productiveness. Be intentional with your life, make a lot of money.....You wouldn't even notice his absence with time, he would be the one getting worried.

2. I don't like third parties, especially family members, but it might be the next best solution, if things don't change. Most families are not good enough because everybody tries to attach emotions to their judgment, this is why a qualified counselor is the best third party, because they are objective.

3. Leave the house for sometime, with your kids...I would have said you should go to the court (not divorce), but it might not be so easy to handle things in the court, since there is no issue of domestic violence (I may be wrong, lawyers can educate me more on this). The thing is, sometimes people don't realize how good what they have is, until its away from them, so they need to stay for some time without it. He needs to miss his family.


You said you feel lonely, I am assuming you are also referring to sex, don't be ashamed to talk about sex. Yes, cheating is wrong....So we need to solve the foundation of the problems, with the steps above, sex would naturally come in.

In conclusion, I want you to understand that happiness is what you make it, and how you see it, make your children your primary source of joy and happiness, take them out to amusement parks, go and see movies with them(might be a bit difficult with the recent health risks posed by Corona Virus), but you can play games with them at home for now, ask them about their classmates, have conversations with them, make them your husband, since the person who is supposed to do that isn't doing it.


If you try all above and nothing changes, you might have to leave, I don't like encouraging divorce, but sometimes, its just the best thing to do,especially because of this :

He always defend his girlfriends anytime I challenge them

If you try all above and nothing works, please go through a lawyer, or ministry of women affairs, don't try to take your kids away forcefully, it might not end well.

You would be alright.

You deserve to be happy, you can be happy.

Praying for you, please pray for yourself and your family too.

Hmmn, God help us oo with the kind of humans in town now.

But why would you want to kill yourself because of another human like you.

You stand to lose the most if you commit suicide, please stay alive for the sake of your children.

Some men get married these days for procreation alone not for love, friendship or companionship. In their old age, they start looking for the companionship they didn't build with their wives from the onset.

It's the stark reality of the times we live in now.

Beejaynma:
I married this man 10 yrs ago and i have never enjoy the marriage even for one day. He had nothing when I got married to him because I believe everything will be fine if both of us join hands together and work hard. I wish I married a rich man that is giving me all I want and maltreating me as the one I married is treating me.
Several times I have knelt down to beg him for offence I did not commit just for peace to reign. I hate malice and he likes it alot. He can keep malice for 6months without talking to me. I know I have made the gravest mistake of my life because this is not the marriage I prayed for. I wanted a friend as a husband but God gave me a boss that always see me as subordinate. I don't ask him money even when I know he has numerous girlfriend that he's spending for. He always defend his girlfriends anytime I challenge them. Honestly am dying slowly, i decided to end it all last year by taking poisonous liquid but I survived. Am just so lonely and I don't want to cheat, honestly I don't want to. Am trapped already and he told me I can't take his 2 kids away because I told him I want to go and get apartment. My kids are my life and I can't leave them.
I know there are lots of responsible married people here, please is this what marriage all about

Sorry about what you have been passing through

If you go to court, the court will grant you custody of the children

But if you can't do without those kids, stay there and sort yourself out

Let him keep his malice and you too over look his attitude

Behave as if you didn't see his attitude and he happy

Kerp friends that will understand what you ate going through and let them know that you need them to keep you at peace

If you have a source of income, start saving for tomorrow

As for your husband, pray that God will do something that will arrest his stubbornness

Be strong and don't let your spirit to go down

Be happy with yourself and don't take your life, he has nothing to loose but your children will loose you

Some people should not bother getting married. These kind of men have a twisted idea about marriage probably from what they saw growing up or their own formed mindsets.

They just want to be treated like kings.

All of you quoting me about nothing wrong in a husband wanting to be treated like a king. I agree, if he's treating his wife like a queen and not a servant.

Any man that try dix rubbish with me, I swear to Jesus blood, I will kill him... My sister u better kill him b4 he kills u.. Dix is d best advice of 2020

ahnie:
I don't even know what to say....let me invite the elders...

Crackhaus (chief analyst on marital affeez!
Sisisioge....the FA crooner
Bukatyne...




But like seriously why must one experience all these shits in marriage.
Is it ill-luck,fate or what?

Funny enough those men appears responsible looking and respectable outside.

Happy mother's day.

Beejaynma:
I married this man 10 yrs ago and i have never enjoy the marriage even for one day. He had nothing when I got married to him because I believe everything will be fine if both of us join hands together and work hard. I wish I married a rich man that is giving me all I want and maltreating me as the one I married is treating me.
Several times I have knelt down to beg him for offence I did not commit just for peace to reign. I hate malice and he likes it alot. He can keep malice for 6months without talking to me. I know I have made the gravest mistake of my life because this is not the marriage I prayed for. I wanted a friend as a husband but God gave me a boss that always see me as subordinate. I don't ask him money even when I know he has numerous girlfriend that he's spending for. He always defend his girlfriends anytime I challenge them. Honestly am dying slowly, i decided to end it all last year by taking poisonous liquid but I survived. Am just so lonely and I don't want to cheat, honestly I don't want to. Am trapped already and he told me I can't take his 2 kids away because I told him I want to go and get apartment. My kids are my life and I can't leave them.
I know there are lots of responsible married people here, please is this what marriage all about

1. Apart from his poverty, why else did you marry him?

2. Do those reasons till exist?

3. What causes the malice?

4. What do you want from him? For yourself?

ahnie:
I don't even know what to say....let me invite the elders...

Crackhaus (chief analyst on marital affeez!
Sisisioge....the FA crooner
Bukatyne...




But like seriously why must one experience all these shits in marriage.
Is it ill-luck,fate or what?

Funny enough those men appears responsible looking and respectable outside.

Haaaa...na wa fa. It can only be well ni o.

ImaIma1:
Some people should not bother getting married. These kind of men have a twisted idea about marriage probably from what they saw growing up or their own formed mindsets.

They just want to be treated like kings.

Nothing wrong in a husband wanting to be treated like a king.

It is not the sole purpose of marriage.
Courtship may have sort of exposed his nature but enjoyment and desperation will not let us retreat.

If you commit suicide, who are you leaving your children for?

Beejaynma , I have updated my answer above, please go through it.

bukatyne:


Nothing wrong in a husband wanting to be treated like a king.

He will surely be treated as one if he treats his wife like a queen not a slave/ subordinate.

She is his better half.

Beejaynma:
I married this man 10 yrs ago and i have never enjoy the marriage even for one day. He had nothing when I got married to him because I believe everything will be fine if both of us join hands together and work hard. I wish I married a rich man that is giving me all I want and maltreating me as the one I married is treating me.
Several times I have knelt down to beg him for offence I did not commit just for peace to reign. I hate malice and he likes it alot. He can keep malice for 6months without talking to me. I know I have made the gravest mistake of my life because this is not the marriage I prayed for. I wanted a friend as a husband but God gave me a boss that always see me as subordinate. I don't ask him money even when I know he has numerous girlfriend that he's spending for. He always defend his girlfriends anytime I challenge them. Honestly am dying slowly, i decided to end it all last year by taking poisonous liquid but I survived. Am just so lonely and I don't want to cheat, honestly I don't want to. Am trapped already and he told me I can't take his 2 kids away because I told him I want to go and get apartment. My kids are my life and I can't leave them.
I know there are lots of responsible married people here, please is this what marriage all about

Hmmmm...you really do sound lame baby. If its so bad then you should leave and fight legally for your kids if it comes to that. He's just a boss to you cos you enable him...once you get his seniors(the law) involved, the guy will become calm.

Hian! You even tried to kill yourself ! For what! Chai! Weren't you going to leave your kids with him if you had succeeded? Please be reasonable, there are many women happily divorced while fighting tooth and nail for their children. We also have many women dead who left their children behind to the mercy of others who might maltreat them... Life is beyond the Mrs title! Love yourself so you can adequately love others(your babies). It is well.

ImaIma1:
Some people should not bother getting married. These kind of men have a twisted idea about marriage probably from what they saw growing up or their own formed mindsets.

They just want to be treated like kings.

There is nothing wrong in wanting to be treated like a king, but it should be done the right way..Women also deserve to be treated like Queens...
When both parties have the right mentality, royal treatments would automatically flow both ways.

faithfull18:

He will surely be treated as one if he treats his wife like a queen not a slave/ subordinate.

She is his better half.

Well, it is the duty of the wife/woman to seek a man that would treat her like a queen.

I opened a thread a while back on that.

I have realized that anybody can want their want.

If you ask a fresh graduate to name his monthly salary, he can say N1m/month.

It is the employer that would now decide if the graduate merits it or not.

bukatyne:


Nothing wrong in a husband wanting to be treated like a king.

Not when he's treating his wife like a subject

I don't understand you, you seem to be confused yourself

You don't want to leave your kids but you planned taking your own life

It's the later not permanent separation

ImaIma1:


Not when he's treating his wife like a subject

The subject is obviously happy with the treatment.

rain21:
I don't understand you, you seem to be confused yourself

You don't want to leave your kids but you planned taking your own life

It's the later not permanent separation

She planned to take care of them from the grave.

Lemme continue sipping my chilled zobo in my single state which is devoid of any wahala walahiiiii... I can't deal with stress

You know he spends money on his galffriends, yet you don't ask him for money, are you making sense? You should have utilized every opportunity by draining him financially and making savings for yourself. You want to kill yourself because of an evil husband, so that your children will suffer in the hands of his mistresses? You think you are the only woman in a bad marriage? Sensible women in bad marriages save their lives and that of their kids, rather than kill themselves. Stay alive for your kids, even if you don't win the custody of your kids, your kids will always look for you in future, I do not believe you love your children otherwise you would never think of suicide. Go for a mental evaluation as well, maybe you are running out of sanity. If you like lock yourself up from people who are ready to offer you happiness, if you like, divorce and don't date or remarry, that's your business. If you have chosen the bitter part of life for yourself, nobody can help you.

LilMissFavvy:
You know he spends money on his galffriends, yet you don't ask him for money, are you making sense? You should have utilized every opportunity by draining him financially and making savings for yourself. You want to kill yourself because of an evil husband, so that your children will suffer in the hands of his mistresses? You think you are the only woman in a bad marriage? Sensible women in bad marriages save their lives and that of their kids, rather than kill themselves. Stay alive for your kids, even if you don't win the custody of your kids, your kids will always look for you in future, I do not believe you love your children otherwise you would never think of suicide. Go for a mental evaluation as well, maybe you are running out of sanity. If you like lock yourself up from people who are ready to offer you happiness, if you like, divorce and don't date or remarry, that's your business. If you have chosen the bitter part of life for yourself, nobody can help you.

Thank you ma. I decided not to ask him money so that he wont increase the maltreatment am receiving from him

Will you die if you leave him?

Beejaynma:
I married this man 10 yrs ago and i have never enjoy the marriage even for one day. He had nothing when I got married to him because I believe everything will be fine if both of us join hands together and work hard. I wish I married a rich man that is giving me all I want and maltreating me as the one I married is treating me.
Several times I have knelt down to beg him for offence I did not commit just for peace to reign. I hate malice and he likes it alot. He can keep malice for 6months without talking to me. I know I have made the gravest mistake of my life because this is not the marriage I prayed for. I wanted a friend as a husband but God gave me a boss that always see me as subordinate. I don't ask him money even when I know he has numerous girlfriend that he's spending for. He always defend his girlfriends anytime I challenge them. Honestly am dying slowly, i decided to end it all last year by taking poisonous liquid but I survived. Am just so lonely and I don't want to cheat, honestly I don't want to. Am trapped already and he told me I can't take his 2 kids away because I told him I want to go and get apartment. My kids are my life and I can't leave them.
I know there are lots of responsible married people here, please is this what marriage all about

bukatyne:


Happy mother's day.

1. Apart from his poverty, why else did you marry him?

2. Do those reasons till exist?

3. What causes the malice?

4. What do you want from him? For yourself?

Hmmmm,
i married him because prophets (about 5 different prophet) told me he's my husband and I will regret it if I did not marry him.

Beejaynma:

Hmmmm,
i married him because prophets (about 5 different prophet) told me he's my husband and I will regret it if I did not marry him.

Ha, wrong move. Prophets ke, hmmn. Nothing beats hearing God for yourself. These days I am weary when I hear 'prophet'. Seen several cases where 'prophet' said 'a' and it turned out to be 'b'.

Don't get me wrong oh, some of them still hear from God.

Beejaynma:

Hmmmm,
i married him because prophets (about 5 different prophet) told me he's my husband and I will regret it if I did not marry him.

Ok, so the prophets told you to marry him.

You had no input in the 2nd most important decision of your life: interesting.

Have you gone to meet any of the prophets that the marriage is not working as intended?

At least, they saw 'something' before telling you to marry him.

Are you legally married? If yes then go file for divorce and you can be granted custody of the kids.

Instead of committing suicide for a man that wouldn't even care why don't you leave?

This is not what marriage is, it's not a prison and it's not suppose to make you feel the way you are feeling.

Truth is men in this part of our world feel like they can do whatever they want even in marriage after all "their mothers endured it" so being married to some guys in this country is hazardous.

Stop challenging his Mistresses,focus on yourself and your kids, file for divorce and go make a good life for YOURSELF.

Pls don't ever thinking of taking somebody's life , better u leave the person , if u try it u will rot in jail , pls don't ever think of it

kestolove95:
Any man that try dix rubbish with me, I swear to Jesus blood, I will kill him... My sister u better kill him b4 he kills u.. Dix is d best advice of 2020

U will rot in jail pls don't think of killing

I promised myself never to sympathize with any woman in any abusive relationship or marriage.
They deserve anything being thrown at them.

It is only a woman that will see a drug addict, woman beater, an alcoholic, and all sorts of bad habits in a guy and still tell you that she loves him.

The more days I spend on earth, the more puzzled I am by the choices women make when it comes to choosing a man (whether boyfriend or husband).

When it comes to choosing a man, most women are destined to pick the wrong ones. And it's mostly due to the fact that they don't know what they need, they only know what they want.

And what is it that they want:
A sweet talker
A 7 inch preek
6 packs
A fine boy
A rich man.

The surprising thing is both the teenagers and the so called mature ones all have a warped idea about how to pick a man.

They come online to console themselves but they soak their pillows in tears everyday.

SweetCunt97:
Lemme continue sipping my chilled zobo in my single state which is devoid of any wahala walahiiiii... I can't deal with stress

De there de lie to yourself.