Great NLers, hope we are chilling with our respective families in this stay home period.

I got a feeling that we should discuss this issue of BESTIE of a things instead of merging it with other topics.

BESTIE is defined by dictionaries as someone's best friend

This topic is created to address the nitty gritty of bestie in the context of marriage/relationship. There are different cases where ladies mostly considered a male friend as her bestie which a guy who has seen a lot in the area of relationship/marriage always frown at whenever their partners or friends mentioned such. A male bestie according to ladies is someone they discuss virtually everything about their lives with including happenings in their marriages/relationships. A lot of women do not understand why men always frown on the issue of bestie. Men frown on the issue of bestie because many of them knows what they are doing or have done with women that calls them bestie or has introduced them to their men has bestie, while some men rejected the issue of bestie due to their experiences and encounters e.g getting to know that their partner is having flings with their claimed bestie. Some ladies do turn their ex (who they can not easily resist sexual advances from) to bestie while some ladies choose neutral guys either from their vicinity, work space or some other ways. Frankly speaking, some ladies choose bestie just for the sake of gist or someone they can get information about men from in order to deal with their partners right or to learn different things about life from, but things do go other ways as the relationship grows.

REASONS WHY BESTIE DO TURN TO FLINGS
1) Some besties are ex ( it is not easy to resist sexual advances from your ex)
2) Besties are always ready to listen to all your cries and conversations which is always one of the qualities females want in a man and that quickly make them fall for their besties (besties deliberately does that because of their ulterior motives)
3) Besties will always tolerate all your characters either good or bad ( because he is not committed to the relationship, he has nothing to gain correcting you)

The above attributes are what BESTIES use to their advantage.

IMPLICATIONS
1) It makes some women to demand more from their partners, they tend to demand for more attentions, more cares, more time for conversations and others probably because their besie easily does that.
2) It breaks relationships/marriages by the time the man gets to know.

OPINION
As women, we can always find ways to discuss our concerns and observations with our husband/fiance/boyfriend instead of having bestie that may later lead to something else. We can have male friends we do talk to occasionally for some reasons known to us but not bestie.

I do have a bestie not because of any other thing apart from the fact that she reasons things in a mature way and also has this sense of respect for me.
But I'm tired sha, I think I need to call it a quit to save us from any future mishaps in our various relationships.
The question is now "How do I break up with my bestie?"

I was to have a lot of female friends back then, though nothing happened with any of them, one thing I know for sure is behind every bestie is this unspoken affections

I am the father of all besties in the world.

girls don freind zone me tire.. all the information i have about them is realy waste of time.

more like they give me their information and then take my time in return.



But then, i actually will like me wife to be my Bestie

In this generation of free sex,my girl will never have a bestie

Even the word 'Bestie' is irritating to my eyes and ears.
In what decade did this even become a thing?
I feel like I may have skipped it...

If I hear any man around me mentioning that word, I might just punch him in the face.

For the females who say it, they're obviously still kids mentally so I can overlook them.

adexpa:
Great NLers, hope we are chilling with our respective families in this stay home period.

I got a feeling that we should discuss this issue of BESTIE of a things instead of merging it with other topics.

BESTIE is defined by dictionaries as someone's best friend

This topic is created to address the nitty gritty of bestie in the context of marriage/relationship. There are different cases where ladies mostly considered a male friend as her bestie which a guy who has seen a lot in the area of relationship/marriage always frown at whenever their partners or friends mentioned such. A male bestie according to ladies is someone they discuss virtually everything about their lives with including happenings in their marriages/relationships. A lot of women do not understand why men always frown on the issue of bestie. Men frown on the issue of bestie because many of them knows what they are doing or have done with women that calls them bestie or has introduced them to their men has bestie, while some men rejected the issue of bestie due to their experiences and encounters e.g getting to know that their partner is having flings with their claimed bestie. Some ladies do turn their ex (who they can not easily resist sexual advances from) to bestie while some ladies choose neutral guys either from their vicinity, work space or some other ways. Frankly speaking, some ladies choose bestie just for the sake of gist or someone they can get information about men from in order to deal with their partners right or to learn different things about life from, but things do go other ways as the relationship grows.

REASONS WHY BESTIE DO TURN TO FLINGS
1) Some besties are ex ( it is not easy to resist sexual advances from your ex)
2) Besties are always ready to listen to all your cries and conversations which is always one of the qualities females want in a man and that quickly make them fall for their besties (besties deliberately does that because of their ulterior motives)
3) Besties will always tolerate all your characters either good or bad ( because he is not committed to the relationship, he has nothing to gain correcting you)

The above attributes are what BESTIES use to their advantage.

IMPLICATIONS
1) It makes some women to demand more from their partners, they tend to demand for more attentions, more cares, more time for conversations and others probably because their besie easily does that.
2) It breaks relationships/marriages by the time the man gets to know.

OPINION
As women, we can always find ways to discuss our concerns and observations with our husband/fiance/boyfriend instead of having bestie that may later lead to something else. We can have male friends we do talk to occasionally for some reasons known to us but not bestie.

Having a male bestie for a woman isn't a bad idea as not all men will appeal sexually to a woman. If not for the fact that men are territorial, having a male bestie has some plus.

-a male's perspective to issues you have with your spouse. Eg a man won't see her husband being preoccupied with work same as him not finding her attractive anymore.
-a man's logical input against women's emotional ones in marital crisis. Eg a man won't see the mountain out of a molehill her female besties are seeing in a single missed call from the husband.
-the husband can even benefit from the bestie if they become buddies. That way, if he messes up, he can get the bestie to put in a good word for him when the wide comes calling for advice.

There are demerits to having a male bestie for a married lady and vice versa, but if we can be objective, it can work. It works even better if the bestie is married.

My two cents I leave you.

crackkhaus:
Even the word 'Bestie' is irritating to my eyes and ears.
In what decade did this even become a thing?
I feel like I may have skipped it...

If I hear any man around me mentioning that word, I might just punch him in the face.

For the females who say it, they're obviously still kids mentally so I can overlook them.

I honestly don't know when opposite sex 'besties' became a thing.

Sixfeetbelle:


Having a male bestie for a woman isn't a bad idea as not all men will appeal sexually to a woman. If not for the fact that men are territorial, having a male bestie has some plus.

-a male's perspective to issues you have with your spouse. Eg a man won't see her husband being preoccupied with work same as him not finding her attractive anymore.
-a man's logical input against women's emotional ones in marital crisis. Eg a man won't see the mountain out of a molehill her female besties are seeing in a single missed call from the husband.
-the husband can even benefit from the bestie if they become buddies. That way, if he messes up, he can get the bestie to put in a good word for him when the wide comes calling for advice.

There are demerits to having a male bestie for a married lady and vice versa, but if we can be objective, it can work. It works even better if the bestie is married.

My two cents I leave you.

Actually, no two men are same so the 'advantage' of having a male bestie is

Besides, what happened to 'good old communication' or are you with a masquerade you can't engage?

bukatyne:


Actually, no two men are same so the 'advantage' of having a male bestie is

Besides, what happened to 'good old communication' or are you with a masquerade you can't engage?

After a heated fight, a break is needed to dispel the tension before communication can resume. In that time, talking to someone might set you right, and here is where it is a plus; females may not see the problem logically as a man would.

Did I say any two men are the same?

Sixfeetbelle:


Having a male bestie for a woman isn't a bad idea as not all men will appeal sexually to a woman. If not for the fact that men are territorial, having a male bestie has some plus.

-a male's perspective to issues you have with your spouse. Eg a man won't see her husband being preoccupied with work same as him not finding her attractive anymore.
-a man's logical input against women's emotional ones in marital crisis. Eg a man won't see the mountain out of a molehill her female besties are seeing in a single missed call from the husband.
-the husband can even benefit from the bestie if they become buddies. That way, if he messes up, he can get the bestie to put in a good word for him when the wide comes calling for advice.

There are demerits to having a male bestie for a married lady and vice versa, but if we can be objective, it can work. It works even better if the bestie is married.

My two cents I leave you.

i think opinion in the writeup allows room for male friend but not so call bestie.............in most cases bestie became a threat to main husband, when at any chance the wife is already chatting or talking to bestie. Woman can have a male friends she talks to sparingly but not the one she talks to almost every hour.

adexpa:


i think opinion in the writeup allows room for male friend but not so call bestie.............in most cases bestie became a threat to main husband, when at any chance the wife is already chatting or talking to bestie. Woman can have a male friends she talks to sparingly but not the one she talks to almost every hour.

Male friends can be a threat to the husband as well, especially if she favors consulting him on matters than other male friends. That's how a male bestie can arise.

No matter how you say it, and unless she abandons all sort of friendship with the opposite sex, a male friend will always be a threat to the husband.