#whatsapptv
#woshTV

Maturity has nothing to do with our post we are here to have fun, motivate, break all the glass tables and run away��


Some say those who post on social media are jobless, how about those reading them? Are they job seekers or supervisors??
�‍♂�‍♂�‍♂�‍♂�‍♂�‍♂�‍♂�‍♂


Stingy:is when I ask you for salt and you said that your mom counted it �������
�
Shock:is when you touched your pocket and didn't feel your phone����
Cause trouble:is when you enter a restaurant nd you look around nd noticed that all the men in there are with a lady then you decide to make a fake call with you China phone "hello my man I saw your wife with a man in a restaurant come quick quick"after that look around but behold all the ladies don disappear �������
Wahala: is after you have been punished by a soldier man nd you climbed your Okada nd say"thunder fire u".u start your Okada nd it didn't respond ��������
Kasala-don-burst:is when u take ur girlfriend 2 a bar nd you tell the bar attendant 2 serve ur girlfriend Andre (drink)as a village girl she added"please make it spicy"����
Witchcraft: is after standing for 1hr in queue under the hot sun� just to withdraw some money through the ATM machine and finally it was your turn then noticed that you are with your voters card instead of your ATM card.���
Heart attack:is when ur girlfriend is pregnant and your wife is pregnant���
Lost of memory:is when u are looking for your phone with out knowing that the phone is with you nd someone called you u, you picked up the phone nd say"bros abeg call me back I am looking for my phone ����������
Sickness:is after reading this post and you didn't laugh��
Confusion is when Okada man says : take #200 and gimme #150 let me give you #70 so that you will balance me #350 and take #100��
�������

TEACHERS ARE TRYINGoooo��
Teacher: Construct a sentence using the word "SUGAR"
Student: ''I drank tea this morning.''
Teacher: ''Where is the word sugar.''
Student: "It is already in the tea..�‍♂️''
Teacher: ���‍♂️
Teacher: Our topic for today is Photosynthesis.
Teacher: What is photosynthesis class?
Student: Photosynthesis is our topic today.
Teacher: ���‍♂️
Teacher: John is climbing a tree to pick some mangoes. (Begin the sentence with Mangoes)
Student: Mangoes, John is coming to pick you...�
Teacher: ���‍♂️
Teacher: What do you call mosquitoes in your language?
Student: We don't call them, they come on their own...�
Teacher: ���‍♂️
Teacher: Name the nation people hate most
Student: Exami-nation
Teacher: ���‍♂️
Teacher: How can we keep our school clean?
Student: By staying at home�‍♂️
Teacher: ���‍♂️
Teacher: One day our country will be corruption free. What tense is that?Student: Future impossible tense...
Teacher: ���‍♂️
Special thanks to all teachers who endured our silly questions and replies. May God grant them good health, sound mind & wealth.��
_@Napaul__


Boy: Hey Love, I'm standing at the gate Please come out...
Girl: I am not at home, I'm at Jo'burg. I left yesterday
Boy: �� Ok fine��.. anyways I brought Fifty Thousand! �
Girl: What!!! Wait honey just give me 5 minutes I'm on my way
Boy: Huh��� 5min from Jo'burg to here���
Girl: No Love, I'm nearby at my friends place we call it "Jo'burg".
Boy : OK hurry up then, we are waiting for you..
Girl : You and Who?
Boy : Me and my friend, we call him Fifty thousand.. He's the one who wanted to meet you.

You see those women who remove hot pot covers with their bare hands, avoid them�... They have the latest version of slaps.���

You Are Always Raining Curses On Your Ex �But Wait What If That Your Particular Ex Is Your Future Husband/Wife ? Will You Remain Single Or Marry Him/Her And live With The Curses �


If you dont see your girl as a wife then why are you dating her?

As a wife what will you do if you find out that your husband bought a car for his girlfriend and you don't have any?

If we date you are not a prisoner. go out and do as you please, just stay loyal. that's all I ask.....
I can spend to make you stable ❤

The most painful thing in this life is when you see someone that’s owing you eating food with 3 meats. How dare you!!!

My sisters just because God said let there be Light and Darkness when he created the earth doesn’t mean you must have a light face and a dark neck..

Please,who came up with "BLESS YOU" after SNEEZING sef���
As in! I'm blessing you for spreading bacteria around me �

Your parent ever walked into your room, looks at you, look around and walk out without saying a thing. You just be thinking"why?".�

I remember when makeup was just eye pencil and Vaseline..
Now it's Cement and Concrete with other building materials..


Funny guys are dangerous. They can make a girl laugh till she gets naked��
Be laughing like hahahahahahavesexwithme ��


If they only say “I love you to the moon and back” during sex, they’re not talking to you they are talking to the sex. Yes, sex got ears too... you’re just overhearing the conversation.
Too many love the pleasure you give but not the person you are.

VACANCY! VACANCY!! VACANCY!!!....... OPPORTUNITY TO RELOCATE ABROAD !!!
Are you a Nigerian?
Are you tired of being in Nigeria?
Are you a Journalist, Medical Doctor, Nurse, Professional Teacher, Engineer, Fashion designer, Hairdresser, Business Man, Contractor, Pastor, Alfa, Software Developer Student, Athlete, Trader Banker, Furniture Maker Mechanic, Army, Air Force, Navy, Police, Custom, Civil Defense, Immigration, DSS and Peace Corp?
Are you between the ages of 18 and 60?
Do you want to travel abroad to live, work, study or for sports ?
If YES, you are a big LIAR!!!!
Nobody is going anywhere. !!!�
We are all going to stay in this country and enjoy this good government.
I think you voted in 2015 and 2019? You are going to vote again in 2023.... ����
NA WHO YOU WANT RUN LEAVE HERE FOR �‍♀


Porn industry makes billions anually, i wonder who dey watch them, everyone seems to be innocent


I am very very happy�����I mean very very happy�����so you all should just send me account���number now I mean now and am very serious o the earlier d better so that I can help you delete it.....lol


Until we're financially stable as a man, don't disturb someone's son with pregnancy.��Kids are expensive!���


Takes you just 2 seconds to unhook her bra in d dark, but takes u 50mins to locate John 3:16 in broad daylight. Oniranu ��
Devil have finish roofing ur mansion in hell


Never decline a date because you're in a relationship, don't allow your boyfriend stop you from meeting your husband.


Those of you that reads two topics ahead of the Teacher have you received December salary?��

My Mummy asked me to remove her “panties” when it was raining and I told her I couldn’t cause I’m shy.She then said to me”one day you will use your teeth to remove them”��

Look at your room, is it well organised or you're just waiting for a girl to promise you a visit before you arrange it��

Guys , if your girl de laugh when one guy man talk something funny , write am down after one month make you talk am , if she no laugh no worry your self Na him be that

Homophobia is such a stupid fear, why should a person be afraid of home?

Can a man introduce you to his parents and still dump you? �

Those parents that intentionally buy you big cloths and shoes so you can wear it for a long time , they buy it and act all surprised “oh ma guh the shoe is big for you ? ” No o it’s small �, it took me long enough to figure out it was a savings strategy. I felt used �

Dear guys, your duty as a man is to make sure ur woman doesn't need another man.
Am I communicating?

Cheaper way of pregnancy test.
.
Put a biscuit in the Vagina and wait for a minute, if it's eaten just know the baby is there ��

You find it hard to go on your kneels to pray to God but whenever you want to give head, you so quick to go on your kneels and grab his p3nis. Tell me why God will not punish you?!

There are some people that you have a great dynamic with on instagram or on Facebook but once it goes to WhatsApp, everything dies a natural death.
Why is that?? How do you explain this kain thing

Wait o I don't understand why I will be begging, teasing or toasting a girl�‍��‍� and am the one that want to spend my hard earn money o I mean my hard earned currency the one I work for and she go still dey make yanga,make shakara dey site like popcorn for my money again o.lie it won't work abeg bros reason am na


Ur girlfriend left u for smone more handsome n richer Dan u n u r angry with her,u r crazy don't u want her to progress?


������������������������������������

Wife:
Shey u can't call me since morning....
You are doing as if its only you that's working in that office....
Its OK....
Continue....
Rubbish....
��������
Side chick:
Sweety, you didnt call today.....
I guess you were busy @work....
Hope you had time to eat at least.....
Don't over work yourself please.....
I will call you later honey....
Take care of yourself for me.....
��������

Now, do the mathematics yourself.
Most times, it is not juju they use in collecting husbands, let us learn from them sometimes. ���



No let them use social media tk shake your legs oh oniovo your time de come just work hard ...


She commented on my post, he replied to her comment. The girl replied again! he replied her back and they were about to fall in love with my post, so I deleted it.�


For the first time today, i saw carbonhydrate with my 2 naked eyes! What a beautiful animal!

Pls Be Sincere Can You Cancel Your Wedding Becos Of Your Marriage ??������


Warning!!!
Dating Someone who still has feelings for their Ex is very Risky. They can Fix "Friendly Match" anytime. �‍♂


Even If I'm not expecting any money, when I see a message from my bank, I expect it to be a credit alert��

Somewhere in Nigeria, somebody is Planning to run away with contribution money this December ��� Inside Life

That thing we do in house,, in bed,, in car,, in the bathroom,, in the street,,, the thing is very sweet. You enjoy your self doing it,,,, is called prayers �
God bless your naughty mind

But wait o, Nigeria go soon dey over populated o. South Africa pursue Nigerians, now Ghana don start. Where those ppl go stay if dem come back?


� �ATTENTION
ATTENTION
ATTENTION ��

If you have zero chat since you joined this group
You will be removed tomorrow
You will be removed tomorrow
����

LAFF SMALL SMILE BIG
1. Back in the 80s when a guy propose to a gal.. She'll be like give me 3 months to think about it but now propose in the morning and doggy go flow at night
2. During sex, tell your babe to put her finger in ur ass and when she does it, when she pulls it out there's engagement ring on it and you ask her will you marry me?
Best engagement shot ever❤❤☺
3. Chai... I still remember d time,
When I was working at d Zoo,
My boss fired me simply because I left the lions gate open,
That man got no brain,
I mean who can steal a lion�?
�����
4. Imagine someone with big head saying he does not understand.
Mtcheew... Just tell me, what is d purpose of that big head?
����
5. "Life is a gamble", " to win big you must take big risks",
These are quotes from Betway, be very careful.
�����
6. �My girlfriend told me that she will change me. I thought she was referring to the character, but she found a new boyfriend! ����
7. my wife needs a bra but I don't know the size.
Salesgirl: touch my breast and try to calculate. Customer: oh I forgot she needs panties too.
������
8. I just smoked weed with dictionary paper. Right now I'm feeling so Inflotonorous stequrere � Difimatelygatiously slituazanaonisized ������
9. This One Off Me Badly;
Nigerians will nt kill me o..Hw can u go to a dead person's timeline & post "R.I.P bro,i'm sorry its coming late"��
10. I got her number from Facebook few hours later she said can you do me a favour,i quickly block her,switch off my phone and even remove my sim card ...to avoid something harmful to my wallet���������
11. African Pastors!
Stop trying to resurrect the dead, divide the sea instead, people want to travel to Europe. ���
12. That moment when you about to have sex in the dark, you rub something to your dick thinking its Vaseline but you find out that it was LOKO BALM
that's the day you will give your life to Christ�����
�
13. Some Girls Will Turn You Into Moses. She Will Let You See The Promise Land But Bruh, She Ain't Gonna Let You Enter
Wicked Gehs
���
14. Please and please i want to ask a single question .why student chew � biro during exam.if you know raise your hand and say it out�‍♂.
15. Never get deceived by a guy claiming to be gentle.
If u want to know, know now �
16. This one sabi cook. This one sabi greet. This one sabi Do
Na so Solomon take marry 700 wives o.��
17. Want to learn how to dance? Have a cold shower today at midnight, I bet, You’ll rock like SHAKIRA �������
18. My sister if u like him walk to him n tell him how u feel about him n stop giving signals u are not TV antenna �������������‍♂��‍♂��‍♂��‍♂��‍♂
19. Imagine chatting with a beautiful girl at a wedding and you about to take her number and your mum comes and gives you a plate of rice and say ,' put this in a plastic its your supper'
���������
20. If you like keep your relationship secret. If you like post it on social media. Game wey go cut, go still cut�
21. I had a dream that this person reading
this post right now
Financial breakthrough and success will
locate you this month, Amen
#copied

If u are dating more than one person in this group kindly pick one and release d others, so that it will go round.
Help us ��

UBA pls stop debiting my money for card maintenance, ATM card that is always with me, how come Una take dey maintain am?���

ATTENTION ATTENTION
Anyone who wants to leave the group should leave during day time, if you leave at night and get raped it's your problem o, don't come and blame us...
�‍♀�‍♀�‍♀�‍♀�‍♀�‍♀�‍♀�‍♀

She caught me cheating, and now she's saying "If I still want her, I must sing the National Anthem Backwards" ���

If the world ends today what will you do with all that money in your account? Send me money and stop living that kind of life.
Don't scroll pass, I'm talking to you!

Can you sell your phone to buy Mom medicine �

If I marry you and you call me the head of the family I'll divorce you!

Have you Ever dated someone on social media ? Someone you have never seen , just calls and texts , broke up over the phone and felt even more heartbreak than a person you know physically. It might have made you feel stupid , but you shouldn’t be , it’s life shit happens !


I just gave you my number and you're already video calling me on WhatsApp, please what do you want to see?

5,000 naira for a Night...Money wey I For use go my village for Xmas �

What was your Dream job before life shows you its real color?.
Mine : Pilot

A guy came to my dm and asked for my phone number,I didn’t know when I typed my account number instead of phone number�. he called and called till he decided to drop his phone number for me...See eh,you can’t just blame me�

Delete only two✌
WWE�
Zee-word�
Porn��
Hollywood���
Nollywood��

Remove boyfriend from some girl's life and they will never be able to afford tissue paper.

Your next relationship doesn’t start when you meet your new partner, but when you “leave” the old


So I wanted to enter okada today, the okada man asked me if I carried “Levels”
Me: what is levels
Okada man: Shey you be Yahoo boy or you carry anything because police de front o
Lmaoooooo so Okada riders are now searching people �

Dating you for long is not enough reason to marry you.
Someone could spend 7years in medical school and later become a DJ���

i’ve two toothbrushes at home. one for me and one for all my girlfriends. ���‍♂

I am presently in my neighbor’s house and they are about to eat. I’m seeing only 4 plates and we are 5 here, I wonder who is not hungry� ��

The way people package their face like cemented bread when they are walking down after taking communion should be studied in the university as a 3 unit course . The the act is legendary .

The girl seating beside me in this bus is sleeping and putting her head on my shoulder...
Am I the cause of her problem���?


GIRLS.....continue clubbing, smoking weed with your boyfriend thinking it's cool....my sister that guy will marry someone decent and use you as a testimony in church.
Stay warned ♂


Girls have multiple boyfriends because boys are broke and not because they ain't reliable.
Boys have multiple girlfriends because they know they are broke and can't trust one girl to stay through.


Ladies will see you looking good in public and reply to texts u had sent 18 YEARS AGO��

I'm done with Nigerian movies�how can a blind woman say "I'm happy to �see you" �


Research says 97 % of Africans fake cough in toilet when they hear footsteps ���.���
True/false
����������
�


Shop owner: Oga wetin you wan buy?
Oga: Don't worry attend to other customers first..
Can you guess what oga wants to buy?����


A white guy would kiss � his angry girlfriend to stop her from talking� ...
You can't try that with our African Ladies � ,they will still talk inside your mouth �......� � � � � � �


Guys, When she enters the street to buy bread with oversized slippers, shirt,and she's on short, Bro, respect yourself, Don't WOO her, she's in boo's house��


I saw the guy dating� my sister buying condom,
I went home and I'm not seeing her.
Person must die� tonight�.
� � � �


In their 300 level, all nursing students in Nigeria take a compulsory course on how to insult their patients.���


After committing a crime you have to choose between going to jail or joining the army..
Which are you going for? ���


"HIV" looks very dangerous in Capital letters
Look at it now "hiv"... So harmless and Innocent ���


A man divorced his wife and 1 week later, her father died and the woman inherited $150 billion.
The man called her and told her that he is pregnant for her.
Please shift lemme faint ����


At What Age Did You Stop Dipping your Bread Inside Tea?


Somebody inboxed me "hi sugar"
I replied "hi groundnut"
He blocked me��
I thought we wanted to drink garri���


*In an English class...
TEACHER: Mercy swept the whole Compound! What type of sentence is that?
AKPOS: Compound sentence sir.*
������


If a girl said you can't satisfy her maybe she's not your future wife to be, so don't waste your kids on your bedsheet for her ���


Lovers that always ask their partner
"Have you gone to bed?"
What if he/she sleeps on the floor
���


My brother if a girl commits suicide becos of you she truly loves you.. dat is wife material Marry her
��‍♂��‍♂
���������


If you want a man to eat anything just say it enlarges the penis and makes you do more rounds.Believe me he can eat even a cockroach


Make I chop this girl, make I chop that girl, until you chop the one that will reduce your destiny to 1mb.�����


DON'T KILL URSELF ��MY SISTER, IF HE WANTS DOGGY STYLE ��, LET HIM BARK FIRST���✍


Bride price should be based on Breast side, after all, watermelon is expensive than orange.
Ladies, what do you say?
����������
��‍⚕


Ladies please it's womenstruation not menstruation.... Don't involve us in your problems Biko...��..�������


When they dont want you to notice how ugly they are, they open their breast and focus the camera there.
�‍♂��‍♂


Welcome to Ghana where Abigail dates John, impregnated by Mike, William accepts the pregnancy, Peter pays the damage, Alfred raises the child then gets married to D'mash.
Monkey dey work, baboon dey Chop.
����������
��‍⚕


The day I finally buy my G-WAGON....
I will make sure I drive to my ex's house and ask for directions to my own house.
Who's with me on this?�


Nigerian parents will say they are working because of children and yet they give us one meat and take two� ��

Being single is so fun and economical
The #200 airtime I bought since 2014 just finished this evening..

Buying iPhone 11 at 600k when you live in a rented apartment is foolishness and Stupidity.


Don’t rush into another relationship after a break up. Wait for at least 15-20mins��


Aside
“Children are the Leaders of tomorrow”
As an African, what other funny quote do you know?


"Your Bluetooth dewise is connected successfuwy"
I heard the person that configured these headsets is from Nigeria. Guess which state??


Brother, if you love her spend on her until she become expensive��� for other guys to afford���


Anambra girls be like I have two brood blothers, one is in abload d oda one who wants 2 be a rawyer is in unilag studying raw��


Insulting a lady because she rejected you is one the most stupidest thing in the world. Just move on after rejection, you won't die.


I don't care what people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive�


Mr man,stop asking a lady if she has a boyfriend�‍♂ if u love her,then join d queue�‍♂.. D winner will b announced in church �


he is tall and handsome and I think I like him,na so some girls end up marrying some men wey no get brain�


Three 3 things I will never do to myself.
1. I will never kill myself
2. I will never come and kill myself
3. I will never come and go and kill myself ��� �


Dating a pastor is awesome the problem starts when you find out he saved you as "anointing water"
Fear men my sister �����


I love photography because it’s the only hobby where i can shoot people and cut their heads off, without going to jail…
������


I don’t understand banks. Why do they attach chains to their pens. If I ‘m trusting u with my money, u should trust me with ur pens :-)
������


True saying.... Women never dress up to impress man, She dress up to irritate other women.
������


I hate it when I miss your call by 1 second and I call back immediately, and you don't answer. Did you just die?�������


Slim girls are called bae. ......if she is fat, call her Basin
no bi me hu talk am oooo���


For those of you calling yourself mathematicians...
Biko, How many grams make an instagram ? ���


Akpos:If u come back from work and see ur dad beating ur father and ur parents are not at home, what will you do??
Me: Stop smoking weed�


Some guys can deceive... They'll be like "Baby, i see my future kids in your eyes" Weldone sir chairman of national population census. Hope you are seeing golden morn, pampers, school fees and other baby food on her forehead too? ���



U SEX HER because U BOTH AV CHEMISTRY WEN BIOLOGY HAPPEN HOPE U AV D FINANCIAL ACCOUNTING 2 TAKE CARE OF HER HOME ECONOMICS����


Some men will date a lady until the wife material in her turns to okirika bend down select.
Be considerate na!�

�
Imagine sleeping on the same bed with your girlfriend, and in your dream you see her trying to kill you. While running for dear life, you suddenly wake up to find her staring at you...
And next she says "for your mind you think say you sabi run?"
what will you do? �


When Short People Open Their Umbrellas ☂, They Look Like Mushroom ����


If a man can cheat on a rich woman who drives big cars, who are you Rita with an itel phone with no charger.
You are just a stepping stone.
����������


Welcome to Nigeria my country
Where everyone's bed must touch the wall
�����


Married men will be watching soccer at d bar wit their side chicks n still be screaming that the referee is cheating��hmmm..
God is watching


That moment yuh do your girlfriends little sisters homework � for her, And she return home with 0/10�

My brother don't go there again la���


To those girls that used to say "I will marry my book" now you are pregnant, abeg which subject impregnated you?��
����������


Guys think very well ooo, can ur present girlfriend help ur future kids with their assignment?


Falling In Love With The Wrong Person Is Like Drinking Garri With Fork �
No Progress ��‍♀��‍♀��‍♀


If Facebook get Banned,
You will See People Roaming ,
in the Streets with Their Picture in their Hands
Crying & Screaming ..
“DO YOU LIKE THIS PICTURE ?”
������

If Someone Steps On
Your Foot & *Asks:
“Did I Hurt You . . .?” Step On Theirs
(Harder) & Ask,:
“Can You Feel My Answer…?
������

After masturbating for two rounds and you see your mother at the window...... asking you....why don't you get a wife ������������

Do we still have �ladies that say. Baby if you don't tell me how you got this money I will not take it from you

Q: Why is India not participating in World Cup?
ANS: Because FIFA cannot accept singing and dancing after every ten minutes or after any goal.
������

You ask someone for your charger back and they be like "What percent you on?" It don't matter give me back my charger�

This thing of applying for jobs online is really confusing, how am l supposed to put the anointing oil on the CV now.�‍♂
Should I pour it on the computer?
����������

When you wear suit
Americans:wow nice suit
Nigerians:pastor pastor
��‍♂��‍♂��‍♂��‍♂Who did this to us

Scientist can lie ehn
They told me to drink energy boost and I will be able to move a wall, after I tried several times, the wall can't be moved.
But when I take 8 bottles of beer I see the wall moving by itself.

I pity people who crush on me because of my picture. It's like you've not ordered something from Jumia before

Another 10 Gbedu way they burst brain ����
1)A jealous girlfriend will be like "I called you last night and I heard a voice of a naked woman"
Wtf ����
2) *First Sign Of a Useless Boyfriend, Find Transport Come, i Go Give u Back
*���
3)In Africa, immediately u fix bulbs for your neighbors, BOOM! They wil start telling everyone dat you're an electrician & u can fix Transformer���
4) CORONA VIRUS the only China product that is original and have lasted long����
5) Kiss You Don Close Your Eyes But To Pray For Church You Go Open Eyes Like Sokoto Goat *
*���
6)My girlfriend broke my heart and i want to commit suicide, should i take meatpie and Pepsi or indomine and egg.
Pls advice me.����
7)Because you called her and she didn't pick you are annoyed you that Jesus has been calling you have you answer him ? You see how painful it is.���
*Some people get married early and think they are older than you and start giving you advice. One day I will seriously slap someone *����
9) The moment you ask "What's wrong" and she replies "Hmmmmmm". Notice the "hmmmm"My guy dont ask her "Why Hmmmmmm". Just off ur data. It is a Mobile Money trap
10)Fact...Earn your success based on service to others, not at the expense of others.�����
:
Extra Jara ����
I know I am not paid online for posting jokes but I know I am someone pain killer so appreciate me by joining the group below let keep the Laffing Pills on���