Top Reasons for Being a Tenor:

-Tenors get high without drugs.
-Name a musical where the bass got the girl.
-You can show the sopranos how it SHOULD be sung.
-Did you ever hear of anyone paying $1000 for a ticket to
see The Three Basses?
-Who needs brains when you've got resonance?
-Tenors never have to waste time looking through the self-
improvement section of the bookstore.
-When you get really good at falsetto, you can make tons of
money doing voice-overs for cartoon characters.
-Gregorian chant was practically invented for tenors. Nobody
invented a genre for basses.

Top Reasons for Being a Bass:

-You don't have to tighten your shorts to reach your note.
-You don't have to worry about a woman stealing your job.
-Or a pre adolescent boy.
-Action heroes are always basses. That is, if they ever
sang, they would sing bass.
-You get great memorable lyrics like bop, bop, bop, bop
(boong ching , boong chi-ching).
-If the singing job doesn't work out, there's always
broadcasting.
-You never need to learn to read the treble clef.
-It doesn't matter much if you get a cold.
-For fun, you can sing at the bottom of your range and fool
people into thinking there's an earthquake.
-If you burp while you're singing, the audience just thinks
it's part of the score.

Top Ten Reasons for Being a Soprano:

-The rest of the choir exists just to make you look good.
-Can you name an opera where an alto got the man?
-When sopranos sing in the shower, they know the tune.
-You are never going to sing the alto part by accident.
-Great costumes: like the hat with the horns on it.
-How many world famous altos can you name?
-When the fat lady sings, she's usually singing soprano.
-When you get tired of the tune, you can sing the descant.

Top Ten Reasons for Being an Alto:

-You get really good at singing E flat.
-You get to sing the same note for 12 consecutive measures.
(tang , tang , tang , )
-No warm up needed to sing 12 consecutive bars of E flat.
-If the choir really stinks, it's unlikely the altos will be
blamed.
-You have lots of time to chat during soprano solos.
-You get to pretend that you are better than the sopranos,
because everybody knows that women only sing soprano so
they don't have to learn to read music.
-You can sometimes find part time work singing tenor.
-Altos get all the great intervals.
-When the sopranos are holding some outrageously high note
at the end of an anthem, the altos always get the last words.
-When the altos miss a note, nobody gets hurt.
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