Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse - Family (7)

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Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse - Family (7) - Nairaland

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Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by MOnkeyBabe(f): 5:21pm On May 25, 2020

Thermodynamics:
Ya words are better.
Bet you lost your virginity while in school.
All these girls, have mercy on your future husband, how can you fuçk up to 20guys and still want your husband to cherish you like a queen when you get married, when some other guy have smacked you, chocked you, treated you like a hóe during sex.
Some girls will go to their boyfriend's house and start screaming at the top of their voice during sex, and still want their husband to treat them like a Diva when some random dude has finished all the grease in their *****

Pity your future husband abeg.

mind your BuSiness {MYB}

Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by Ibechris2: 5:21pm On May 25, 2020

FeliciaOja:
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..

U wanted to spoil jor, my father was a soldier and I can say it without any doubt that he was one of the strictest and hard to deal with kind of man.

My childhood friends couldn't enter our compound without them peeping thru the gate or fence. The presence of my dad was the beginning of wisdom.
I will not talk about the beating here...but I can only tell u that my mum used to cry seeing my father beat us.
In all we went through, we were the best of chdren in my neighborhood in Lagos state,even when we gained admission it never changed us. I think u just decided to be what u love doing.

I thank my Dad for enforcing discipline in us and today we talk as if nothing like that happened.

1 Like

Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by Farki: 5:22pm On May 25, 2020

crackland:

Smoking is not a measure of one's intelligence, I never said so.

Smoking is simply a bad habit acquired from bad company.
It doesn't mean a smoker can't be smart.

Oh alright,I see what you're getting at.

1 Like

Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by Ronin1: 5:22pm On May 25, 2020

Everyone is just condemning the op or taking her side, goes to show the actual problem with parenting. Most parents make it about themselves, they make up rules that the children must live by or you'll be seen as rebellious or trying to drag the family name in the mud. That's the problem.

People are born with different personalities, even twins tend to have different personalities so trying to raise all your children by the same rigid rules may be counter productive. Parents should instead focus on learning their children's personalities from a young age, their strengths and weaknesses.

Then you'll be able to figure out the best approach for them so no one feels they're being alienated. It's not so cool punishing a child all the time to try and get them to be more like their siblings, maybe they're just not wired the same.

Obviously if you cage a stubborn child growing up, they'll suppress their stubbornness around you and go wild when they get outside. So why not guide them to find a balance, you could even channel it to something positive rather than trying to kill off their personality or rewrite it.

2 Likes

Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by STREETSAN(m): 5:23pm On May 25, 2020

You can actually smoke weed, club, party and turn still turn out well. If you spend your time wisely. Work hard. Play small

Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by Nobody: 5:23pm On May 25, 2020

FeliciaOja:
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..

Well, I was brought up by strict parents, too, even more stricter...and then I went to university.

And I did not drink alcohol, smoke weed, etc etc.

Why? (Note, I am not telling this tale to boast, or to show off...there is a point at the end)

1.Alcohol....as a 13 year old, I read the life history of an alcoholic....and to tell you the truth, it was not one of the funniest tales that I read. What saved that man was quite simply his wife...he married a patient and very patient, and very sane woman. I also read an article about an Americna executive who went from being a well dressed man with his own house to being a drunkard....before he sobered up. (In university, I also bought the book Addicted by the former Arsenal and England player Tony Adams. )

2.Weed. ...Apart from the fact that smoking , dust anything smoke makes me cough and cough..and that's just a smoky kitchen!....I read a lot of books on the bad effects of drugs (even got into some history of America's 'counterculture movement, lol!)

3.Running with the Rich boys...I went to a private primary school. Rich boys are like the rest of us...and many of them were very normal.lol. Plus I was a medical student. We had all sorts of people in my class...from the rich to the poor. And when your entire life is devoted to keeping your head over water academically, nothing for fun (except on occasion..)

The thing is, strictness without seeing why one has to be suffering strictness is where the problem starts. If a child is not exposed to the consequences of bad actions...of seeing what happens when the alcohol gets too much or the weed gets too much....the strict ness is not going to have much effect.

One more tale...when I was eight....was in the family car with my mum, and one of her friends.Parked near a public building. A man dressed haggradly comes and begs for money. After he left...my mum's friend turned to my mum and said...'That man used to be somebody...drugs messed him up'

Enough to scare the allure of weed out of an eight year old.

(P.S As a medic you even see worse. Like the time one night when we saw a man in the hospital emergency. Got drunk, went dancing on the road, got hit by a bus, brought in to be patched up. Still drunk. Couldun't get up from the bed. )

Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by FamousMonk: 5:27pm On May 25, 2020

Openbusiness:

Your father used wisdom but you're too stupid to understand. Caging a wild beast is wisdom. He caged you because he saw you had the tendency to turn to a wild crackhead olosho, and then you get a little taste of freedom and what do you do with it? You proved your father was right to have caged you like a beast. What a nonsense child. Shove your dumb advice down ur slobbery throat. Nobody needs advice from a dumb junkie. Na your type dem dey use do prayer point for crusade wen pastor go shout, "Oh God don't give me a foolish wayward child, oya open your mouth n pray, shout an talk to God, praayyyy....

So for how long was he planning on caging her?
Eventually,she'll get her freedom.
Why not take a better approach?

Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by Nobody: 5:29pm On May 25, 2020

LordKO:
Don't mistake strict parents for oppressive parents - offspring of the former always turns out well, especially when the offspring isn't innately insane.

[s]Strict parents do train their offspring to exercise their liberty and live life within the confines of decorum. While oppressive parents do train their offspring to live life within the confines of their self-interest and wishes, thereby denying them liberty and, by extension, make them disingenuous.

Pseudo/wannabe libertarian parents, on the other hand, usually turn out to breed crass and expedient offspring, because in the cause of forming woke they allow their offspring to live life and exercise their liberty on the periphery of decorum.[/s]

Strict parents are literally the true libertarians - strict parents are akin to conscientious parents.

Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by OKTolu: 5:29pm On May 25, 2020

You are loose because you want to be loose and stop blaming your dad for your misdemeanor in school.

Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by Majesty33(m): 5:29pm On May 25, 2020

Mark my words Op wanted to be a bad child at all cost and that is she joined bad company when she got admitted into a higher institution.

Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by yongg: 5:30pm On May 25, 2020

crackland:

It really doesn't matter the grade or manner of discipline.

I bet the OP has siblings who didn't do half the things she did while in school, yet they were all raised with the same manner/level of strictness.

How would you explain that?

It can definitely happen...

In one man's house he seemed to be deeply religious a military man, said he knew nothing but the Scriptures,

So much of what you call discipline was poured on his first son, when second son came first son would not understand why he hasn't treated second son with such brutality he endured. Would even blame first son for not supervising second son's according to the rules first son was taught, he would gas light his way from the first son's observations unable to admit the obvious.

Second son got liberty, first son was made black sheep just like some of the blames being appended to OP.

Man was in love with the way his God loved the second son and hated the first or the prodigal son.

First son endured the hypocritical bullcrap untill the last straw that still had them parent questioning why first son would attend a Christ Embassy churchat 28 because he was looking for a job. Apparently they're not trusting of the spirits behind different churches and project their fears. Hence are blinded to the fact that one can infact make his own decision by that age and as such not necessary to talk condescendingly.

I just gatta say... The family dynamics are different for everyone but I could relate to OP because I had experienced it and seen it happen to others, even saw it in the communication parents were having with their wards reporting them to me.

In fact, one I experienced that was so appalling I almost wanted to do something about it was when one elderly man was degradingly talking down to his son in public in the banking Hall,

Because someone is in a vulnerable place and time and your guest unable to provide for himself doesn't mean you have to abuse one's self esteem

But like I said, OP's observations are plausible. The calibration needed here is in the definition of the what is strict parenting.

So about explaining how it is that possibility you mentioned might occur, aforementioned I have describe a case of parental bias. You know how you have peer pressure from friends? one might be fortunate to end up mingling with friends whose make up is not as delinquent as the, hmm , former...

Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by skyhighweb(m): 5:31pm On May 25, 2020

FeliciaOja:

Ever wonder why pastor children turn out to be worse than their pastor parents?

u should have replied him

Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by redcliff: 5:32pm On May 25, 2020

there is nothing to say on this thread that MEN have not murdered with the first 10 post. any other entry to this thread suppose be for reading and liking their comments. they murdered it. peace y'all.

Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by Walexdubia(m): 5:34pm On May 25, 2020

FeliciaOja:
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..

Ur parents might have wronged u in some ways but u as an Adult gotta know what is right or wrong. Doing drugs and all those dumbshit ain't the solution...

Like my mama would tell me, if u like misbehave, I have got 3 kids and u aren't the only one I gave birth to...

Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by ednut1(m): 5:35pm On May 25, 2020

titusmichael27:
i bear you my humble testimony that life has a manual. please look for it.

may not work for another child. We are not homogenous

Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by VenumX: 5:35pm On May 25, 2020

You only did all that because you've alwaysed wanted to do that.

Thank God for your life now.

1 Like

Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by Stillthebest: 5:36pm On May 25, 2020

When you have your children kindly pamper them on what you are supposed to chastised them on.

The Little attitude we imitate from the western world leaving our culture is even getting us into troubles. Ladies now go live naked on Instagram.

Men are unapologetically into Yahoo and crime in Nigeria and still proud of it and will be disturbing neighbourhoods (the real Cyber criminal men in the advanced world don't show faces openly).

You can smoke weed, gbana, codeine, skunk etc if you like. Na your life. Your father has done his bits. You are here praising your mother because she failed as a mother. Leaving aside the man who deserves the accolade.

NONSENSE!

Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by tiswell(m): 5:37pm On May 25, 2020

FeliciaOja:
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..

You really are trying too hard to heap the blames of your failure in life on your dad, while it's obvious your mum tactically undermined your dad's intended good morals in you and raised you a spoilt kid.

I'm not surprised!

Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by JBoss25(m): 5:37pm On May 25, 2020

rockstarB:
My parents are strict too. I never clubbed nor went partying, It still had to do with my upbringing.
I couldn't bring myself to do those things because of how I was raised, it has to do with you largely, even of they gave you the chance to explore, a child that wants to explore would do that regardless.
Exploration or open eyes dont have to do with clubbing, smoking, drugs and all sort. No parents in their right mind will encourage their kids to explore such path. There are better ways to explore and get the best out of life.

mtttchew I dey sure you've sucked dick though

Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by KingZaddy(m): 5:37pm On May 25, 2020

My Dad is the most strict person I have known but i never went rogue.

dont blame your dad, you are responsible for every thing you did, you made the choices.

you dishonoured your mother by doing all you did because if you appreciated her love you would choose friends with wisdom.

from secondary school my friends have envied qualities in me because of how much i shapened my will power.

Feliciaoja

1 Like

Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by Ronin1: 5:38pm On May 25, 2020

druxlazu:

When you are a terrible and bad human being, you put all the blames on your parent.

Do I need to tell you my story? Maybe I should.

The reason my mother and father doesn't let me out normal and mingle is because of terrible people like you who would instill a mode of thought that could easy turn a child against his parents.

Will you be able to make me hate my parents? No, you never will. In fact, the moment you attempt to do that, I will desert you and if you push me, I will pull the trigger on your brain.

Let me tell what happened as a result of my parents not allowing to go out of their range and being strict.

They groomed the most healthy, mentally strong human being, religious, pious and noble human being and the reason why it happened is because they were true pure Yoruba people who realized that there is ingrained low quality, corrupt behavior or mode of thoughts among the majority of Nigerians except Yoruba and if they did allow me to mingle with this people at the years I was growing to do the right things, I will have being the most corrupt and terrible person.

Yes, people like you are the reason why parents are stricter and never allowed their children to mingle with terrible creatures like you.

I'd say they failed to bring you up right with all the supposed strictness, the way you reason is so messed up.

Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by kemii8545: 5:39pm On May 25, 2020

www.nairaland.com/attachments/11602454_2480917_png46c1c823d03a3225774730613d5e7d63

Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by enemyofprogress: 5:40pm On May 25, 2020

FeliciaOja:
[s]It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..[/s]

supersonic absolute trash. You think sey you dey do your father, na your life you dey destroy. Kontinue. Oniranu oshi.

Vickyrotex you better talk to your landlord's daughter.

Dominique is the food not ready? I will go out and eat o

Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by Votukpa(m): 5:40pm On May 25, 2020

FeliciaOja:
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..

So now you've ruined your life...

Have you gained anything?

Let be known today that your dad is the protagonist of your story, your mom is the villain and you, the glorious idiot. What a plot! You destroyed yourself and disgraced your family on nairaland.

Your dad was only putting you aright, needless to say that his beatings didn't kill you.

There was nothing wrong with you pretending, but did you have to willingly metamorphose into a degenerate??

I've said it before and I will say it again: if it were up to me, young ladies would never go to uni. NEVER!

I won't be constructive with this post because it would do you no good.

Congratulation dear, your level of stupid has gone to the 10th power.

Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by ACE1010: 5:42pm On May 25, 2020

What did you gained ??
Asked those who have been there before undecided

Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by Firstnebo: 5:45pm On May 25, 2020

FeliciaOja:
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..

Felicia don't mind all the negative comments here, your post is very accurate

2 Likes

Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by edoairways: 5:45pm On May 25, 2020

FeliciaOja:
It is now I understand what being strict does, it makes you live a life of pretence, cos when I got into University I wanted to explore everything I didn’t have the chance of doing at home.

I drank alcohol like crazy, smoked weed, hung out with rich boys, partying, doing drugs but when I go visit my Parents, I still act like that innocent girl they have always known.

My Dad’s strictness led to my Pretence, if he had drawn me close like my mum did, I would have been a better kid.

When parents use strictness to shut down a kids curiosity instead of guiding them, you are making matters worse for that kid. Because eventually that curiosity will lead them into adventures and exploring all those things you refused them to..

Looking back, al the flogging I received from my dad only made me more stubborn and ruthless.

Nothing really changed? Until my mum made me change for good.

Parents need to use wisdom not force..

That you messed up doesn't mean other kids would. Even if your father was closed to you,you would have done worst

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by VickyRotex(f): 5:49pm On May 25, 2020

enemyofprogress:
~~supersonic absolute trash.~~ You think sey you dey do your father, na your life you dey destroy. ~~Kontinue. Oniranu oshi.~~

[s]Vickyrotex you better talk to your landlord's daughter.

Dominique is the food not ready? I will go out and eat o[/s]

wawwuuu. first time wey you talk small sense (very very small) but you still spoil am with some dirty words. angry

Na the only thing in bold make sense, but e better pass all your other posts. I tell you say prayer can move mountains. Halleluyah, the prayer we've been praying for you is working. cheesy

Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by edoairways: 5:49pm On May 25, 2020

Rich4god:
Leaving a pretence life has nothing to do with a parent been strict or not... Stop using that as an excuse for the negative things you do. If you are reasonable enough, no matter how u want to explore life, doing drugs and taking excess alcohol shouldn't be part of it cos when you do things that damage your health, that is not part of exploration.

Exactly! I have seen many kids behaving well as a result of strict discipline from their parents (either father,mother or both). Whereas, many became spoilt because they were too close to their kids. Am handling a case of such nature now

Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by Lawsimon(m): 5:49pm On May 25, 2020

Are you sure you're not from the wicked seed?
Those that came from the righteous seed always come back to thank their parents for doing a good job in bringing them up.

I never liked they way my uncle and his wife 'treated' me back then, but today, when people admire how I live my life, I don't fail to give them the credit.

Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by Bankowner: 5:50pm On May 25, 2020

You no get brain!

My parents were strict but that did not mean that when I got into higher institution, I threw caution to the wind. Like every nasty thing you indulged in would affect your parents and make them feel sorry that they were hard on you. Whatever you did, you did to your body, your soul and your spirit meaning if the marijuana you smoked has in a way affected your lungs or the alcohol you took has affected your liver, it is you that will bear the pain and not your strict father or mother.

Re: Why Children Of Strict Parents Turn Out To Be Worse by druxlazu: 5:51pm On May 25, 2020

Ronin1:

I'd say they failed to bring you up right with all the supposed strictness, the way you reason is so messed up.

I get it, you are another terrible creature like her and that's why you can't see that the poster is a terrible creature.

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