Palema007:
You used it more than once, you directed a question to me on it then went on to emphasize on it making the difference between a wife and mistress.

See Bukatyne, the problem with most of you is you see these things as duties, running a bath, cooking, washing etc. Once people see these things as natural things you do out of love, you won't see it as a duty.

Finance or Not . Love is the most important thing.

I have this feeling that maybe you are not married. You speak from an idealist point of view and from the personal experiences of others and what marriage should be not what marriage really is.
You talk about love love love. Which marriage is really based on that love, if I may ask? The few that married their best friends can do anything for them while the rest are just there to prove points to each other.

I read the rest of the thread and was so disappointed with the trolling.


The question still remain unanswered.


Who should fund the house-help??

Those who own the house, those who sire and those who birth the kids should fond the house and its helps.

If you are in the league of "I own you and your kids" then you should fond the house by yourself. You cannot claim to own somebody and expect the person to still fund their upkeeps. Everything that person needs must come from you as the Lord of the Manor.
But if you are in the league of " we own each other and our kids" then you both should fund your house and its helps with mutual understanding.

nobone:
Hubby is into biz, while I did a bank job.
I pay the nanny monthly. 90% of times, i paid the kids school fees before hubby would even know.I make sure I stock the house with toiletries and some groceries every month. I buy clothes for my kids, when I see their uniforms/ school bags, shoes and food flasks/lunch bags aren't good enough, I change them straight without looking back. I buy my clothes. Sometimes hubby does. As I do all these, I wasn't ever compelled. I wasn't either asked to. Out of my church mind I do these even more.
On Hubby's side, he stocks the house with foodstuffs every time. He doesn't give me money as most times I don't need it. I have access to all his accounts and most times we run his little business together. When I lost my job, I didn't have need for a nanny again, I paid her off cos she was a nice lady. Hubby took every responsibility 100%, but I still feel bad cos I don't want the biz money to run down.
As for your question, it depends on understanding. Be sincere to each other and in that way, you won't mind who pays what.

Meanwhile, I'm an applicant o! I can do any genuine job.

I'm sorry madam, but you are getting it all wrong. The role of a man is to cater for the family. You need to give your husband the opportunity to do that so that God can reward him.

Maybe you losing your job is God's way of making your husband step up, and now that he has God wilk bless and expand his business. Don't interfere please. Concentrate on growing your children spiritually and otherwise, that is your own role.

Even if you must have a career, always give your husband the opportunity to take care of the home from his sweat, and help ONLY when he asks for your help. Let him play his own role and receive God's blessings too.

gugus1:
Hello dear Nairalanders. I hope all is well with all otherwise continue to struggle positively and time would make things heal.

This topic is actually raised to address the issue of average families where both spouse earn little, but also when the man is taking care of the basic responsibility of house rent,school fees, PHCN bills, DStv, security and lawma. Etc.

My question is since the woman is also a working class, especially when she earns more than the man. Is it proper for the man to hire a house help for the domestic work.

Please only genuine opinions and no childish contributions.
Thanks

Let the woman fund the househelp. The man is already doing enough and the househelp is there to help with her own dutues as a wife while she pursues her career. The least she could do is pay for it.

That being said, if the man cab afford it let him go ahead. This does not have to be an issue. In the end he will receive God's blessings for his sacrifice.

Ybaby:


Ise lago ma se ku.

My concern is why she is even letting her hubby pay for anything at all. She is a strong donkey sorry i mean woman.

This is how she announces to everyone that she is the bread donkey... sorry... breadwinner. She is probably built like a man too such a muscular capable woman who can pay school fees when the father is alive.

A strong women

I pray she gets a job soon.

All na patience, because that thread of I pay all the Bill's but hubby has impregnated a village girl is coming soon..... eleya awon donkey o kin pe na.

As it is her hubby is spending his money on another woman.

To each is own!

She is a confused being.

I even wonder how the husband would feel if he hears her bragging about how she is the breadwinner to her friends and family (because she definitely will).

She's there forming super woman and depriving her husband the opportunity to receive God's blessings for playing his role as a provider. No wonder his business is 'small'.

SMH!

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letskeeptalking:


She is a confused being.

I even wonder how the husband would feel if he hears her bragging about how she is the breadwinner to her friends and family (because she definitely will).

She's there forming super woman and depriving her husband the opportunity to receive God's blessings for playing his role as a provider. No wonder his business is 'small'.

SMH!

You are right!

Such women feel threatened when their husband's starts getting successful - they will rather pay the bills and keep the man.

They know deep down that if he wins the lottery - he will be gone!

They do everything to truncate his growth - but - such men think the woman is helping them by paying the bills.

This kinda of women want to head the home and collect the accolades, blessings and praise meant for the provider.

So they will tell everyone they are the breadwinner because it is what thier ego eats. THEY NEED IT.

20 years + and the man is still on level 0 ( no motivation, no improvement, nothing)

It is then that he realises he has about the same value as the furniture in the house - mo mean pe won fi won to ile ni so the world can see her as a MRS

They will be saying My husband My husband but they are fooling no one - A husband that does not pay the bills is a HOUSEWIFE.

letskeeptalking:


She is a confused being.

I even wonder how the husband would feel if he hears her bragging about how she is the breadwinner to her friends and family ([b]because she definitely wil[/b]l).

She's there forming super woman and depriving her husband the opportunity to receive God's blessings for playing his role as a provider. No wonder his business is 'small'.

SMH!

Just a quick correction on the highlighted.... she is bragging not she will brag

Everyone on her street knows she pays the bills.

She will find subtle and loud ways to let them know - it is why she came here to let us know too