Hello dear Nairalanders. I hope all is well with all otherwise continue to struggle positively and time would make things heal.

This topic is actually raised to address the issue of average families where both spouse earn little, but also when the man is taking care of the basic responsibility of house rent,school fees, PHCN bills, DStv, security and lawma. Etc.

My question is since the woman is also a working class, especially when she earns more than the man. Is it proper for the man to hire a house help for the domestic work.

Please only genuine opinions and no childish contributions.
Thanks

Hubby is into biz, while I did a bank job.
I pay the nanny monthly. 90% of times, i paid the kids school fees before hubby would even know.I make sure I stock the house with toiletries and some groceries every month. I buy clothes for my kids, when I see their uniforms/ school bags, shoes and food flasks/lunch bags aren't good enough, I change them straight without looking back. I buy my clothes. Sometimes hubby does. As I do all these, I wasn't ever compelled. I wasn't either asked to. Out of my church mind I do these even more.
On Hubby's side, he stocks the house with foodstuffs every time. He doesn't give me money as most times I don't need it. I have access to all his accounts and most times we run his little business together. When I lost my job, I didn't have need for a nanny again, I paid her off cos she was a nice lady. Hubby took every responsibility 100%, but I still feel bad cos I don't want the biz money to run down.
As for your question, it depends on understanding. Be sincere to each other and in that way, you won't mind who pays what.

Meanwhile, I'm an applicant o! I can do any genuine job.

Single ladies and married ones try to learn one or two things from the post above

nobone:
Hubby is into biz, while I did a bank job.
I pay the nanny monthly. 90% of times, i paid the kids school fees before hubby would even know.I make sure I stock the house with toiletries and some groceries every month. I buy clothes for my kids, when I see their uniforms/ school bags, shoes and food flasks/lunch bags aren't good enough, I change them straight without looking back. I buy my clothes. Sometimes hubby does. As I do all these, I wasn't ever compelled. I wasn't either asked to. Out of my church mind I do these even more.
On Hubby's side, he stocks the house with foodstuffs every time. He doesn't give me money as most times I don't need it. I have access to all his accounts and most times we run his little business together. When I lost my job, I didn't have need for a nanny again, I paid her off cos she was a nice lady. Hubby took every responsibility 100%, but I still feel bad cos I don't want the biz money to run down.
As for your question, it depends on understanding. Be sincere to each other and in that way, you won't mind who pays what.

Meanwhile, I'm an applicant o! I can do any genuine job.

Ha!!! Ha!!! +1000likes

This answer is golden and priceless. �

In short, understanding/financial intelligence.

---

No be when person get responsible wife or husband e go fit achieve all these? No competition in marriage period!

lalasticlala, mynd44, seun.

It's not supposed to be a competition between husband and wife...

nobone:
Hubby is into biz, while I did a bank job.
I pay the nanny monthly. 90% of times, i paid the kids school fees before hubby would even know.I make sure I stock the house with toiletries and some groceries every month. I buy clothes for my kids, when I see their uniforms/ school bags, shoes and food flasks/lunch bags aren't good enough, I change them straight without looking back. I buy my clothes. Sometimes hubby does. As I do all these, I wasn't ever compelled. I wasn't either asked to. Out of my church mind I do these even more.
On Hubby's side, he stocks the house with foodstuffs every time. He doesn't give me money as most times I don't need it. I have access to all his accounts and most times we run his little business together. When I lost my job, I didn't have need for a nanny again, I paid her off cos she was a nice lady. Hubby took every responsibility 100%, but I still feel bad cos I don't want the biz money to run down.
As for your question, it depends on understanding. Be sincere to each other and in that way, you won't mind who pays what.

Meanwhile, I'm an applicant o! I can do any genuine job.

Good to hear from a woman with dedication but I believe your case is only by God's intervention

Let's all remember that the question is not about competition between spouse but under normal clime. Whose responsibility would it be to hire a nanny.

Let's just assume there is a problem with the house chore due to both spouse are working class.

nobone:
Hubby is into biz, while I did a bank job.
I pay the nanny monthly. 90% of times, i paid the kids school fees before hubby would even know.I make sure I stock the house with toiletries and some groceries every month. I buy clothes for my kids, when I see their uniforms/ school bags, shoes and food flasks/lunch bags aren't good enough, I change them straight without looking back. I buy my clothes. Sometimes hubby does. As I do all these, I wasn't ever compelled. I wasn't either asked to. Out of my church mind I do these even more.
On Hubby's side, he stocks the house with foodstuffs every time. He doesn't give me money as most times I don't need it. I have access to all his accounts and most times we run his little business together. When I lost my job, I didn't have need for a nanny again, I paid her off cos she was a nice lady. Hubby took every responsibility 100%, but I still feel bad cos I don't want the biz money to run down.
As for your question, it depends on understanding. Be sincere to each other and in that way, you won't mind who pays what.

Meanwhile, I'm an applicant o! I can do any genuine job.

This is how marriage should be. Not all those spouses that are in competition with each other.

ImaIma1:


This is how marriage should be. Not all those spouses that are in competition with each other.

Too many immature and selfish people getting married these days.
Always looking out for their own interest instead of the family

Let's also remember that househelp is not your regular relative which some people try to keep as house help .

nobone:
Hubby is into biz, while I did a bank job.
I pay the nanny monthly. 90% of times, i paid the kids school fees before hubby would even know.I make sure I stock the house with toiletries and some groceries every month. I buy clothes for my kids, when I see their uniforms/ school bags, shoes and food flasks/lunch bags aren't good enough, I change them straight without looking back. I buy my clothes. Sometimes hubby does. As I do all these, I wasn't ever compelled. I wasn't either asked to. Out of my church mind I do these even more.
On Hubby's side, he stocks the house with foodstuffs every time. He doesn't give me money as most times I don't need it. I have access to all his accounts and most times we run his little business together. When I lost my job, I didn't have need for a nanny again, I paid her off cos she was a nice lady. Hubby took every responsibility 100%, but I still feel bad cos I don't want the biz money to run down.
As for your question, it depends on understanding. Be sincere to each other and in that way, you won't mind who pays what.

Meanwhile, I'm an applicant o! I can do any genuine job.

Wow.

Ybaby how are you this morning

Romangalactic:
Wow.
Ybaby how are you this morning

stop calling somebody's wife baby

Romangalactic:

Wow.

Ybaby how are you this morning

Ise lago ma se ku.

My concern is why she is even letting her hubby pay for anything at all. She is a strong donkey sorry i mean woman.

This is how she announces to everyone that she is the bread donkey... sorry... breadwinner. She is probably built like a man too such a muscular capable woman who can pay school fees when the father is alive.

A strong women

I pray she gets a job soon.

All na patience, because that thread of I pay all the Bill's but hubby has impregnated a village girl is coming soon..... eleya awon donkey o kin pe na.

As it is her hubby is spending his money on another woman.

To each is own!

Romangalactic:

Wow.

Ybaby how are you this morning

You'll love to be that kind of a husband wouldn't you?
A man his wife does not depend on for anything.
Answer honestly: how would you feel as a man if your wife does not need you for anything?

Ybaby:


Ise lago ma se ku.

My concern is why she is even letting her hubby pay for anything at all. She is a strong donkey sorry i mean woman.

This is how she announces to everyone that she is the bread donkey... sorry... breadwinner. She is probably built like a man too such a muscular capable woman who can pay school fees when the father is alive.

A strong women

I pray she gets a job soon.

All na patience, because that thread of I pay all the Bill's but hubby has impregnated a village girl is coming soon..... eleya awon donkey o kin pe na.

As it is her hubby is spending his money on another woman.

To each is own!

This isn't nice! The fact that you would rather sit at home like a Barbie doll and have your husband pay for everything even kerosene money doesn't mean whoever does otherwise is a fool.

Yes not everyone wants to be a thropy wife, an empty entity who is only good for decoration and sex. Some women are trained to be more than a cushion or puppet.And you missed the part she said the husbands business is little i.e still growing? Shouldn't anyone with brain and conscience be supportive or would you rather place all responsibilities on a growing business and kill it? Sometimes I wonder how some of you reason here and why you get married at all. Most of you will perform better being CID or SARs because you lots are calculative, manipulative and most annoyingly condemning!

Good thing is, her husband didn't get anyone pregnant, he shouldered his responsibility like a Man should and still loves his wife. There is love, friendship, understanding and commitment in that home. Something alien to you! And you ended your sad note with "To each is own" that's laughable. Very laughable!

gugus1:
Hello dear Nairalanders. I hope all is well with all otherwise continue to struggle positively and time would make things heal.

This topic is actually raised to address the issue of average families where both spouse earn little, but also when the man is taking care of the basic responsibility of house rent,school fees, PHCN bills, DStv, security and lawma. Etc.

My question is since the woman is also a working class, especially when she earns more than the man. Is it proper for the man to hire a house help for the domestic work.

Please only genuine opinions and no childish contributions.
Thanks

In a situation where both couples earn little, whoever sees the need for a house help more should pay.

BTW it's "Fund" not "Fond"

First, she did not announce to anyone how she supports her family she only gave a practical example. Note she isn't the breadwinner as purported by you because I didn't see where she mentioned paying house rent, car maintenance or other utility bills. She only mentioned the basics which every other woman out there does. I only see her pointing it out categorically to drive her point. I understand her perfectly and I drew some serious lessons from her response.
At last she said something that made so much sense. She said "be sincere to each other and in that way, you won't mind who pays what"
Have you thought about what investments they would have had together? This is a faceless forum that's why she felt free to give such details.
@ybaby, pick the lessons and stop being disrespectful. Its not nice of you.

Ybaby:


Ise lago ma se ku.

My concern is why she is even letting her hubby pay for anything at all. She is a strong donkey sorry i mean woman.

This is how she announces to everyone that she is the bread donkey... sorry... breadwinner. She is probably built like a man too such a muscular capable woman who can pay school fees when the father is alive.

A strong women

I pray she gets a job soon.

All na patience, because that thread of I pay all the Bill's but hubby has impregnated a village girl is coming soon..... eleya awon donkey o kin pe na.

As it is her hubby is spending his money on another woman.

To each is own!

ayomipoosi:
First, she did not announce to anyone how she supports her family she only gave a practical example. Note she isn't the breadwinner as purported by you because I didn't see where she mentioned paying house rent, car maintenance or other utility bills. She only mentioned the basics which every other woman out there does. I only see her pointing it out categorically to drive her point. I understand her perfectly and I drew some serious lessons from her response.
At last she said something that made so much sense. She said "be sincere to each other and in that way, you won't mind who pays what"
Have you thought about what investments they would have had together? This is a faceless forum that's why she felt free to give such details.
@ybaby, pick the lessons and stop being disrespectful. Its not nice of you.

I was not disrespectful. There are 2 types of women queens and donkeys.

She will always find a way to let the world know she pays her household Bill's.

I will always find a way to let know world my man pays the Bills

We are two different kind of women and as long as it is her choice then good for her.

ayomipoosi:
First, she did not announce to anyone how she supports her family she only gave a practical example. Note she isn't the breadwinner as purported by you because I didn't see where she mentioned paying house rent, car maintenance or other utility bills. She only mentioned the basics which every other woman out there does. I only see her pointing it out categorically to drive her point. I understand her perfectly and I drew some serious lessons from her response.
At last she said something that made so much sense. She said "be sincere to each other and in that way, you won't mind who pays what"
Have you thought about what investments they would have had together? This is a faceless forum that's why she felt free to give such details.
@ybaby, pick the lessons and stop being disrespectful. Its not nice of you.

What is the lesson? That a wife pays schoolfees while daddy is alive and living under the same roof .... no fight

Or

To be a single mom but married woman.

Which is the lesson?

You made my day with your response. Thank God there are some sensible people here.
From her tone, she's a peaceful and intelligent person. Claiming right and acting unnecessarily too wise only causes big problems in the family.

Palema007:
This isn't nice! The fact that you would rather sit at home like a Barbie doll and have your husband pay for everything even kerosene money doesn't mean whoever does otherwise is a fool.

Yes not everyone wants to be a thropy wife, an empty entity who is only good for decoration and sex. Some women are trained to be more than a cushion or puppet.And you mixed the part she said the husbands business is little i.e still growing? Shouldn't anyone with brain and conscience be supportive or would you rather place all responsibilities on a growing business and kill it? Sometimes I wonder how some of you reason here and why you get married at all. Most of you will perform better being CID or SARs because you lots are calculative, manipulative and most annoyingly condemning!

Good thing is, her husband didn't get anyone pregnant, he shouldered his responsibility like a Man should and still loves his wife. There is love, friendship, understanding and commitment in that home. Something alien to you! And you ended your sad note with "To each is own" that's laughable. Very laughable!

ayomipoosi:
You made my day with your response. Thank God there are some sensible people here.
From her tone, she's a peaceful and intelligent person. Claiming right and acting unnecessarily too wise only causes big problems in the family.

No she isn't peaceful, a peaceful person will not be so hard on another woman to the extent of calling her a donkey. She could have stated her opinion without being rude and judgemental. We have different opinions/views of life that makes us do things differently. Bringing others down for their choices is madness.
I could point out 101 ways her own perfect husband taking totally responsibilities could go wrong but I won't because she's entitled to her way of life.
However, i gave her a piece of her own medicine and I'm glad I did. People should learn to be objective.

Rozz:
stop calling somebody's wife baby

Lol,I'm sorry babe. I'll call only you baby from now on. Better?

Ybaby:


Ise lago ma se ku.

My concern is why she is even letting her hubby pay for anything at all. She is a strong donkey sorry i mean woman.

This is how she announces to everyone that she is the bread donkey... sorry... breadwinner. She is probably built like a man too such a muscular capable woman who can pay school fees when the father is alive.

A strong women

I pray she gets a job soon.

All na patience, because that thread of I pay all the Bill's but hubby has impregnated a village girl is coming soon..... eleya awon donkey o kin pe na.

As it is her hubby is spending his money on another woman.

To each is own!

I knew you will tie wrapper & gele and come and embarrass yourself on this thread

Mariangeles:


You'll love to be that kind of a husband wouldn't you?
A man his wife does not depend on for anything.
Answer honestly: how would you feel as a man if your wife does not need you for anything?

I'm not the type of man who wants his woman not to depend on him for anything, and I'm sure nobone's husband isn't the type either.

But u see that woman up there, that is the type of woman any man will love to have by his side whether he is a billionaire or counting coins, not because he needs to leech on her but because he knows she can hold her own.
Let me borrow a few words from your bf LordKO, nobone is the perfect example of a conscientious, altruistic, selfless, and fair-minded woman.

Harshreality:


Too many immature and selfish people getting married these days.
Always looking out for their own interest instead of the family

That is the major problem I see in marriage. It's not about money, family interference or anything. It is selfishness and immaturity from the one or both of the spouses.

If that is dealt with, other things will fall into place.

nobone:
Hubby is into biz, while I did a bank job.
I pay the nanny monthly. 90% of times, i paid the kids school fees before hubby would even know.I make sure I stock the house with toiletries and some groceries every month. I buy clothes for my kids, when I see their uniforms/ school bags, shoes and food flasks/lunch bags aren't good enough, I change them straight without looking back. I buy my clothes. Sometimes hubby does. As I do all these, I wasn't ever compelled. I wasn't either asked to. Out of my church mind I do these even more.
On Hubby's side, he stocks the house with foodstuffs every time. He doesn't give me money as most times I don't need it. I have access to all his accounts and most times we run his little business together. When I lost my job, I didn't have need for a nanny again, I paid her off cos she was a nice lady. Hubby took every responsibility 100%, but I still feel bad cos I don't want the biz money to run down.
As for your question, it depends on understanding. Be sincere to each other and in that way, you won't mind who pays what.

Meanwhile, I'm an applicant o! I can do any genuine job.

I can see some entitled leeches gallivanting about this comment, note the @bolded and know that these does not apply to all marriages, especially with irresponsible, deadbeat husbands or fathers involved, note that there is a clause which is @bolded, what works for family A may not work for family B, to each his/her own.


@nobone, I love independent ladies/wives, always a breath of fresh air, kudos to you and your home.

How about if you support each other financially? You know like two people who want each other to succeed and not to over work themselves.

What category does that place the woman?
Queen or donkey?

Asking for a friend!

Ybaby:


I was not disrespectful. There are 2 types of women queens and donkeys.

She will always find a way to let the world know she pays her household Bill's.

I will always find a way to let know world my man pays the Bills

We are two different kind of women and as long as it is her choice then good for her.

Romangalactic:

I'm not the type of man who wants his woman not to depend on him for anything, and I'm sure nobone's husband isn't the type either.

But u see that woman up there, that is the type of woman any man will love to have by his side whether he is a billionaire or counting coins, not because he needs to leech on her but because he knows she can hold her own.
Let me borrow a few words from your bf LordK.O, nobone is the perfect example of a conscientious, altruistic, selfless, and fair-minded woman.

You see? Now that you've learned new words from him and how to use them in a sentence, aren't you better off?


Remember the thread about that woman who lost interest in her partner of 9years yes? That is what happens eventually when a man relaxes and let his wife take on most of his responsibilities.

If you dig deep, a woman like no.bone takes on all that responsibilities either because she's out to prove a point out of spite(at her own detriment) or has no option.
What woman would ask to fully take on her husband's role when he's capable and willing?
She will not tell you the whole story. Women like that end up being resentful and are easily irritated by their so-called husbands.
As a man, if your wife offers to do that much, do not allow it.
Don't let her overexert herself. It'll drain her out and she'll end up cursing you under her breath
You really need to learn how to love a woman. How to bring out the best in her for your sake.

A wife's duty is to support her husband and not to fully take on the responsibilities meant for a man. She does not have the strength to do that.
Don't be deceived by all that you read...there are always more sides to the story.

cococandy:
How about if you support each other financially? You know like two people who want each other to succeed and not to over work themselves.

What category does that place the woman?
Queen or donkey?

Asking for a friend!

Donkey!

No real man collects money from his woman.

I wonder which woman is financially supporting Dangote/ Otedola etc .... it is low par men that collect money from women

Overwork?? The bible says man should toil!!! No real man is happy without his toil! No real man is happy without a job, No real man is happy without his sweat. Even lazy low par men like to pretend as if they are looking for work.


Man is happiest when he is working - when he gets home from work, run a warm bath, scrub his back, massage his lower brain and let him release his stress inside you, give him vitamins, pray for him, make sure the kids are well looked after and house is clean, delicious food and lots of peace.

Giving a man money emasculates him! Wanting him to succeed is very different from emasculating him, the above makes a man feel strong and masculine but giving him money makes him lazy and unmotivated.



He is not your son! He is your leader, your oga, your man..... but eh no concern me...

I have just one request - any time she buys him a car - she should advertise it on Instablog like Emoney does when he buys his wife a car.

Beta men and Builder women - Feminine men and Masculine women - 6 and 7



New International Version Genesis 3:17
To Adam he said, "Because you listened to your wife and ate fruit from the tree about which I commanded you, 'You must not eat from it,' "Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat food from it all the days of your life.