deltateam:


Dude, these are terrible times. We don't need this shit as reply. If your words can't build anyone up, better keep it to yourself.

It's not compulsory to comment.
People are dying because of depression. There's a thin line between life and death. Your words can push someone over the cliff or save him from destruction.

I don't think there's anything that could be said here that would make take such a drastic action. The funny thing is that the whole incident had a weird effect on, i went numb emotionally. Things stopped affecting me, words rarely had any effect on me, especially if they were uttered by my parents. Potentially fatal situations no longer scared me, i can't tell you how many times I've been in vehicle accidents and i would just get and keep walking, people round me would be expecting a reaction and i would just keep walking but nothing really matters. There was one time, back when we were in school, when a friend of mine had trouble with cultists. There were about 20 of them and they were about to pounce and i stood between them, ready for anything, as if i could take them all on. Their leader, the on in front of me, said he had gun in his lil bag, and i said "Don't talk about it if you're not going pull." That statement caught him off guard lol, he probably thought i belonged (which i don't )and they eventually just left us alone. There was another time when my guy and I were on our way our department, and we saw the number one cultist at our school walking towards us, unbeknownst to us, a fight had broken out when suddenly we saw a car pull up beside him, it was school security, the guy immediately pulls out an ax from inside his bag, security nigg@s just japa. And then he started walking our way, all of a sudden my vicinity don clear, everybody don evacuate in the blink of an eye. I paused for a few secs and then i just kept walking, i didn't care. That was when the guy spotted me, he was a bit surprised by the liver i showed and that was when he pulled out a glock, on seeing the gun, i paused again, and i tried to continue walking, my friend just ran over and pulled me away whilst screaming at me "Do you want to die?" to which i retorted "Relax, it's not a big deal." My friend prolly saved my life that day because we later heard that a girl got killed. Anyway, those are just a few instances demonstration how that incident made me value my existence less. It's disappointing how some Nigerians pass off their shallowness as some kind of strength, na only mouth dem get on top faceless forum. Thanks for your input, cheers

martowskin1:


Millions of teenage boys have been abused like this, but they won't speak up, am shocked he was able to speak, I have a friend who's mother apprentices molested at age 11.. This boy grew up and told no one...

The psychological damage goes a long way into manhood. ..

When u see most men messed up , u ask why are they like that, most times their boyhood was destroyed with stuff like this.

Is not about forgiveness, this young man head has been damaged... Speaking up in a faceless forum shows how deep his damage is

Someone who understands...thanks.

cococandy:


That’s terrible. I can’t even imagine how you feel. And you’re right. You could bring it up and she’ll deny it. Then It’s one big messy “he said she said” that might end up making you feel even worse.

Does she have any history of mental illness?
It’s so weird

No, I don't think so.

So u turned gay because of what she said because I DNT understand wat u mean by she ruined ur life

alfredilly:
Your mum from the figment of her own imagination falsely accused you of sleeping with your dad. That's strange enough to warrant further questioning. Is your mum the weird type. How is her habit? Does she drink. What does the relationship between you and your mother look like before the incident? Hostile? Uncaring? Indifferent? How is her relationship with your dad?

If all this question yield no negative result and it is true your mother never bring it up again while you are still troubled, I think the wise thing to do is to ask your mum, one more time, why she acted that way. If she maintain her claim, then tell her to confront your dad with it.. You can also share the experience with your dad if your mum fail to do that.

Our relationship, prior to the accusation, was fine. She never drank. I was a bit of a teenage rebel but i certainly never would have imagined that kind of accusation coming from my mom... not in a million years. I was blindsided.

kumulus:
A young boy's mental fabric was ripped at an early age by the very one who he's supposed to find security with and some bunch of idiots and nonentities dim it fit to say balderdash out of their profound foolishness. They fail to realize their condition, made obvious by means of their words is way worse than the OP's.

I understand your plights tho, you probably know zilch about human life.....

To the OP, find your peace in what was written in the Book; "......forgive them(her) for they(she) know not what they(she) do(did)".

Don't be surprised if you tried explaining the implications of what she did to her and she remains unapologetic, ours is a culture that prides its self so much on PRIDE(ego). Know very well that what she/anyone says does not define you but what the God in you says, this is liberation.....th very salvation that many seek.

Peace I leave with you brother, love and eternal light.

-Lloyd

May blessing upon blessings fall on you. You just get it. I find comfort in knowing that there are Nigerians out there who are actually intelligent, open-minded and empathetic. Don't ever change.

Ayodejewel:
This is sad! It's not possible for the poster to lie against his mom.

It's possible.

During the total lockdown in Rivers, One man came to Twitter to narrate how his mother died because police at a particular checkpoint stopped him from taking her to the hospital, unless he paid them money.

According to his story, he offered to transfer money to them and they rejected it, saying it's cash they want.

Eventually, his mother died during the long delay.

Well, the story turned out to be false.

Firstly, someone claiming to be the guys sister came online to debunk it.

Also, Segalink, an human rights lawyer on twitter said the guy blocked him when contacted.


People can go to any length just to trend.

Also, this is OP's first topic.

Ayemileto:


It's possible.

During the total lockdown in Rivers, One man came to Twitter to narrate how his mother died because police at a particular checkpoint stopped him from taking her to the hospital, unless he paid them money.

According to his story, he offered to transfer money to them and they rejected it, saying it's cash they want.

Eventually, his mother died during the long delay.

Well, the story turned out to be false.

Firstly, someone claiming to be the guys sister came online to debunk it.

Also, Segalink, an human rights lawyer on twitter said the guy blocked him when contacted.


People can go to any length just to trend.

[b]Also, this is OP's first topic.
[/b]

I narrated this story with a new account in order to maintain my anonymity. I've been on NL since 2012. The fact that that guy lied about his mom doesn't mean i'm lying about what happened me to almost a decade ago. I have no reason to lie, i wasn't compelled to do this by anybody, and unlike that other guy, I'm not under any kind of pressure to justify anything (in his case, he had to justify why his mom died in his care, so he lied). Hope you get it sha.

Papadoh:
Lelouch Vi Britannia commands you... forgive & forget!

Funny enough, i actually get the reference (Code Geass). Sense fall on you, my n!gga, lmao.

TripleOh7:


You need to sit your mama down in private and make sure she tells you exactly what's wrong.

Is either of you a somnambulist?

Was she aware of what she said?

Instead of keeping stuff inside that will explode, talk about this with her to the point of numbness where you don't feel the pain anymore.

By the way, without meaning any disrespect to your mom, does your mom have any mental/psychiatric issues that hasn't been dealt with?

I've never sleepwalked in my life and I've never seen her sleepwalk.

Agba2020:

Someone who understands...thanks.

i feel u bro... but i will advise u to speak with ur mother... sit her alone... and voice out the pain and damage she caused to u.

lets see what happens after that

Your mummy is a mad woman.

Ara ile ni npe l'amodi, were lara ode npe. Interpretation: While one's family members label one's psychological sickness as mere breakdown, the outsiders call it by its right name insanity.

If you cannot get treatment for her, then you should leave the house for your own sake. For her to utter such stupidity in the first place, I am sure she still has more bagload of madness lurking inside her head. If you can't take the heat, exit that neighbourhood... distance brings respect especially with some toxic Nigerian parents.

Agba2020:
I've only told this to one person and I've been carrying this one for 9 years now.

This might turn out to be a little long, so bear with me. When I was 17, a few days to my first WAEC, I was reading in the living room when my mom walked in and falsely accused me of sleeping with my own Dad... Oh, I'm a guy btw. I'm not gay, neither am I effeminate.

She claimed she saw my Dad touching me and that he slept with me. I was stunned. I went through different ranges of emotions. At first, I wanted to curse her, then I wanted the ground to swallow me up for real, then I wanted to cry, and then I wanted to scream, tears just filled my eyes, and the first thing that came out of my mouth was "Why are you doing this?" and then she just walked out. I just sat there losing my mind, I knew it was untrue because there's no way you would penetrate a guy without him feeling it, right? Not to mention the fact that I have no memory of this ever happening. And yet she claimed she saw this happening, if that was true, why didn't she stop it?

Long story short, that was the day my life got turned upside down by my own Mom. The not so funny thing is, she never once brought up that issue again since then, and yet she never apologized for it (not that I'd ever forgive her anyway). Dad has no clue about this issue, by the way.

Agba2020:
I narrated this story with a new account in order to maintain my anonymity. I've been on NL since 2012. The fact that that guy lied about his mom doesn't mean i'm lying about what happened me to almost a decade ago. I have no reason to lie, i wasn't compelled to do this by anybody, and unlike that other guy, I'm not under any kind of pressure to justify anything (in his case, he had to justify why his mom died in his care, so he lied). Hope you get it sha.

Well, I get your point sha.

But in the case of that twitter guy, the mum didn't die. In fact, she wasn't even sick.

Agba2020:
Funny enough, i actually get the reference (Code Geass). Sense fall on you, my n!gga, lmao.

hahahaha

W
E
R
E
D
!!
!!

Ayemileto:


Well, I get your point sha.

But in the case of that twitter guy, the mum didn't die. In fact, she wasn't even sick.

Ha why then did he claim all that bullsh!t? Did he do it to get out of a bad situation? Dude must be really sick in the head.

Agba2020:
I've only told this to one person and I've been carrying this one for 9 years now.

This might turn out to be a little long, so bear with me. When I was 17, a few days to my first WAEC, I was reading in the living room when my mom walked in and falsely accused me of sleeping with my own Dad... Oh, I'm a guy btw. I'm not gay, neither am I effeminate.

She claimed she saw my Dad touching me and that he slept with me. I was stunned. I went through different ranges of emotions. At first, I wanted to curse her, then I wanted the ground to swallow me up for real, then I wanted to cry, and then I wanted to scream, tears just filled my eyes, and the first thing that came out of my mouth was "Why are you doing this?" and then she just walked out. I just sat there losing my mind, I knew it was untrue because there's no way you would penetrate a guy without him feeling it, right? Not to mention the fact that I have no memory of this ever happening. And yet she claimed she saw this happening, if that was true, why didn't she stop it?

Long story short, that was the day my life got turned upside down by my own Mom. The not so funny thing is, she never once brought up that issue again since then, and yet she never apologized for it (not that I'd ever forgive her anyway). Dad has no clue about this issue, by the way.

Are you sure that you were not in Mr Dreamland,when u claimed she accused you of sleeping with ur dad,since she didn't mention it again.�

Agba2020:

Like i stated in my first post, it happened a few days before my first WAEC exam, so yeah, i failed... for 7 years straight. I couldn't concentrate on anything and it felt like i was sleepwalking through my own life. Also, it didn't make me gay, it just bleeped up my brain.

Very sorry to hear. The statement made by your mom shows how jealous women can be. Also I think your dad wasn't giving your mom attention the way he used to. Women generally are very funny being.

Martinez39s:
We can agree to disagree. Like most parents, your parents, especially your father, didn't drill you in having a tough skin. You are overly emotional and fragile as far as this issue is concerned.

If you don't like what I have said, no problem; feel free to wallow in your misery and depression (and self pity, perhaps) brought about by the foolish accusation of your mother. If that's not enough, allow the foolishness of your mother to ruin your life completely, and after that, top it up with sniper or fall from third mainland bridge. After all, the sky won't fall when you are gone, and the world will move on. It's harsh of me, but I won't pamper you like others. You must be tough like a real man. Mtewww.

As I have said, words cannot hurt you except you let them. You can decide to move on and live a well-rounded and productive life, or keep wallowing in your misery and depression, and let your mother's foolishness ruin your life. Your mother's opinion on whether your father molested you or not is of no relevance to you, and it shouldn't ruin your life. Her unwarranted behaviour is something you should brush under the carpet as one of her foolish acts in life (we all have foolish acts).

If you let someone's foolish words/opinions ruin your life, it's your fault. In life, no cares what ruined your life; if you end up useless, it will all fall back on you. WEAK AND FRAGILE MAN. Good day.

You know, I can actually take some valuable things out of all the trash you're spewing, if only your parents had raised you to be empathetic and not be so quick to judge others. One thing's for sure though, if you called me weak and fragile to my face, I'd lay you out. But I guess everybody is a strong man online. Anyway, I'll have you know that I didn't narrate this story in order to garner sympathy from anybody. I posted it to see if I could get some peace of mind by letting it out and also to create some awareness about mental abuse from parents.

Ghostmode2two:


Very sorry to hear. The statement made by your mom shows how jealous women can be. Also I think your dad wasn't giving your mom attention the way he used to. Women generally are very funny being.

Thanks

Agba2020:

I've never sleepwalked in my life and I've never seen her sleepwalk.

Well, don't assume for her.

Sit down with her and talk son to mother with her.

She's your mother. She birthed you. Talk to her.

minijasper03:


Are you sure that you were not in Mr Dreamland,when u claimed she accused you of sleeping with ur dad,since she didn't mention it again.�

Yeah I'm sure. She didn't mention it again because she realized she was wrong but couldn't bring herself to apologize. At least that's my theory. My Dad does it as well, he'd mess up but he'd never be able to bring himself to apologize. Some people might say that not apologizing for your errors is a manly attitude, but I strongly disagree. I realized something as a little boy, back then in school, if I did something bad in class and the teacher asked who did it, I'd raise my hand and the other students would be like "You could have gotten away with that if you hadn't raised your hand." What I'm trying to say is that the mark of a strong person is having the courage & honesty to take responsibility for your actions and then apologize for it, or better yet, fix it. But we prefer to shy away from our actions and then pretend that this shows how strong we are, when in fact, it only displays how cowardly and weak we really are. My mom is the type to throw around accusations without proof, there was another time she accused me of doing something I didn't do (this happened a few years ago), when she realized she was wrong, she then said "You don't even have it in your heart to forgive, it's like you don't have a soul" The first part of her statement led me to believe that she was referring to what happened 9 years ago. But how can you forgive a person who doesn't even acknowledge the fact that they've done something wrong, a person who hasn't even bothered to apologize, let alone, try to fix the error of their ways?

Duckham10:
Your mum didn't ruin your life,you did jor.your mum is good.anyway,corona virus and hunger is about to ruin my life.please save me.00.. 353259 79...access bnk

May that hunger ruin you pata pata...idiot

Agba2020:
You know, I can actually take some valuable things out of all the trash you're spewing, if only your parents had raised you to be empathetic and not be so quick to judge others. One thing's for sure though, if you called me weak and fragile to my face, I'd lay you out. But I guess everybody is a strong man online. Anyway, I'll have you know that I didn't narrate this story in order to garner sympathy from anybody. I posted it to see if I could get some peace of mind by letting it out and also to create some awareness about mental abuse from parents.

I am empathetic. What you need is not empathy; what you need is the attitude of ignoring words/opinions that have no relevance whatsoever. You need to learn that people (including your mum) will always think something about you, and you can't stop them, but what they think is not your business, and you shouldn't care what they think. People's words/opinions can't upset or hurt you expect you want it to. You need to learn to ignore rubbish. Stop being dependent on people's word/opinions on you. Instead, be the source of your happiness and stability.

All things separate tough men like from emotionally and mentally weak and fragile men like you. By the way, how come both your parents abused you? I thought your mum was the supposed culprit.

Then, hw did this useless story ruined ur life?....or is there anything u ar not telling us.....

Martinez39s:

All things separate tough men like from emotionally and mentally weak and fragile men like you. By the way, how come both your parents abused you? I thought your mum was the supposed culprit.

Tough men like you, huh? Please don't make me laugh. I don't know how many times I have to knock this through your head; You don't know squat about me. I pay absolutely no attention to what people say about me until they confront me with their bullsh!t, and then we work sh!t out, and I started caring even much much less after her accusations. Also, I, like most people, was mentally abused by both my parents many times. But the story I narrated was the one that stood out and impacted me the most which was why I brought it here. Just because you're used to bad parenting doesn't mean we shouldn't call people out for it. The only way we can even begin to solve anything is by acknowledging that there's a problem.

Agba2020:

Tough men like you, huh? Please don't make me laugh. I don't know how many times I have to knock this through your head; You don't know squat about me. I pay absolutely no attention to what people say about me until they confront me with their bullsh!t, and then we work sh!t out, and I started caring even much much less after her accusations. Also, I, like most people, was mentally abused by both my parents many times. But the story I narrated was the one that stood out and impacted me the most which was why I brought it here. Just because you're used to bad parenting doesn't mean we shouldn't call people out for it. The only way we can even begin to solve anything is by acknowledging that there's a problem.

Lol. Why didn't you mention from the onset that both your parents abused you? Why did you tell us that your mum's questioning wreck you, and put a psychological wall between you and your dad? You just started calling out your mum and dad for whatever reason. Nevertheless, if you had tough skin (an attribute which you dad should have drilled into you), your mum's question wouldn't have done anything to you. Tough skin, in the way I have been using it, is simply the habit of not giving fuçk, recognizing that everyone has the right to say what they want, and word can't upset/hurt you except you want them to. That's not to say I support your mum.

Anyway, I don't want to go back and forth with you, and I believe there are other nairalanders with posts you find favourable and helpful. Focus on them. I rest my case.

Agba2020:
I appreciate your comment bro and while i do agree that moving on is the best course of action, it is really hard, extremely so. It's going on 10yrs now, and i still can't get it out of my head, and i'm tempted to just spill it out and maybe see if i might get unburdened. But it's like having a house with many doors, and there's that one door that you cannot dare open, because if you open it, one of two things could happen, things could somehow miraculously or magically get better (highly unlikely) or you could make things infinitely worse. And there's one thing i learned early in life, it's that no matter how bad things are, it could always get worse, much worse. Anyway, peace brother.

Confront your mum first. Thank GOD she is still alive, don't loose/miss the opportunity, cheers i.

Agba2020:

I'm curious, what part of the narrative makes me come across as weak? I'd really like to know.

From your posts:
1. You love (and already used to) people sugarcoating words when talking to you.
2. You are a people-pleaser.

Agba2020:
I don't think there's anything that could be said here that would make take such a drastic action. The funny thing is that the whole incident had a weird effect on, i went numb emotionally. Things stopped affecting me, words rarely had any effect on me, especially if they were uttered by my parents. Potentially fatal situations no longer scared me, i can't tell you how many times I've been in vehicle accidents and i would just get and keep walking, people round me would be expecting a reaction and i would just keep walking but nothing really matters. There was one time, back when we were in school, when a friend of mine had trouble with cultists. There were about 20 of them and they were about to pounce and i stood between them, ready for anything, as if i could take them all on. Their leader, the on in front of me, said he had gun in his lil bag, and i said "Don't talk about it if you're not going pull." That statement caught him off guard lol, he probably thought i belonged (which i don't )and they eventually just left us alone. There was another time when my guy and I were on our way our department, and we saw the number one cultist at our school walking towards us, unbeknownst to us, a fight had broken out when suddenly we saw a car pull up beside him, it was school security, the guy immediately pulls out an ax from inside his bag, security nigg@s just japa. And then he started walking our way, all of a sudden my vicinity don clear, everybody don evacuate in the blink of an eye. I paused for a few secs and then i just kept walking, i didn't care. That was when the guy spotted me, he was a bit surprised by the liver i showed and that was when he pulled out a glock, on seeing the gun, i paused again, and i tried to continue walking, my friend just ran over and pulled me away whilst screaming at me "Do you want to die?" to which i retorted "Relax, it's not a big deal." My friend prolly saved my life that day because we later heard that a girl got killed. Anyway, those are just a few instances demonstration how that incident made me value my existence less. It's disappointing how some Nigerians pass off their shallowness as some kind of strength, na only mouth dem get on top faceless forum. Thanks for your input, cheers

It's well with you dear brother, God will see you through. Just let go and value your life. You're too precious to allow your golden destiny go down the drain. More grace i pray.

Agba2020:
I've only told this to one person and I've been carrying this one for 9 years now.

This might turn out to be a little long, so bear with me. When I was 17, a few days to my first WAEC, I was reading in the living room when my mom walked in and falsely accused me of sleeping with my own Dad... Oh, I'm a guy btw. I'm not gay, neither am I effeminate.

She claimed she saw my Dad touching me and that he slept with me. I was stunned. I went through different ranges of emotions. At first, I wanted to curse her, then I wanted the ground to swallow me up for real, then I wanted to cry, and then I wanted to scream, tears just filled my eyes, and the first thing that came out of my mouth was "Why are you doing this?" and then she just walked out. I just sat there losing my mind, I knew it was untrue because there's no way you would penetrate a guy without him feeling it, right? Not to mention the fact that I have no memory of this ever happening. And yet she claimed she saw this happening, if that was true, why didn't she stop it?

Long story short, that was the day my life got turned upside down by my own Mom. The not so funny thing is, she never once brought up that issue again since then, and yet she never apologized for it (not that I'd ever forgive her anyway). Dad has no clue about this issue, by the way.

I'm so sorry this awful thing happened to you and by your own mother no less. Please ignore the posters that call you weakling and softie for being hurt by your own mom.
They are the type to rape women when women turn down their advances. For all their strength and manliness, they can't turn their country to a workable one. Mtchewww.

Also listen to the merakhi poster and see a therapist if you can. I really think you should tell your father about what your mother said. Sometimes things need to fall apart so they can be made whole.

Is there a sibling you are close to? Tell that sibling so you have moral support. I also want to recommend this book by Karyl McBride, "Will I ever be enough?" I hope its useful to you.

I am so very sorry. You will heal from this, I promise.

Karlifate:

From your posts:
1. You love (and already used to) people sugarcoating words when talking to you.
2. You are a people-pleaser.

Oh boy, your radar is way off, you really should get that checked out. I don't mind being spoken to bluntly and I'm the opposite of a people-pleaser. Anyone who knows me would probably label me as an introvert because I do keep to myself but I never compromise and I certainly don't do stuff to please people, that's for sure. You clearly don't know what you're talking about. I didn't disagree with some of the comments because they were blunt, I opposed them because they were insulting, insensitive and reeked of ignorance.