SweetCunt97:
The ability to give in to one's animalistic side without feeling guilt or remorse is bliss. Having sex doesn't not degrade one's values, it simply how one goes about it.

Anyways pastor, na u sabi.

Without feeling remorse or guilt is bliss? Dear that sounds like something related to psychopathy.
A society devoid of those would definitely be filled with anarchy and doom and highly calamitous.
The powers that govern and sustain the universe are powers of good. The extreme of bad in a locality will always tend towards anarchy.

Sex beyond its ordained confines leads to divers aches; clear enough isn't it? Sex in itself isn't bad dear.
Not trying to change your strongly held beliefs right? Doing so will be an exercise in futility. Its just a matter of what you've been plugged into. You can decide to get plugged in to a better conduit and receive power for right and clarity on matters of life.

I am not a pastor. Just one who cares.

This isn't Fiction

A thread made front-page yesterday asking a question that was my experience. The comments that followed is the inspiration behind this thread.

I'm not a writer and I failed English twice(SS2 and Waec). My punctuations and grammar will not impress you.



... Now in the office with only the receptionist to greet, I thanked God in my mind and dashed straight to the restroom.

Have you ever been in a situation where you know the outcome but were acting sure it would turn out differently? Well, there I was with the double redline staring at me.

I don't remember breathing, I did a second test and there it was again then I brought out my phone looking for the best lighting to take a picture of both strips visibly shaking but smiling somehow (I've come to know now that when I'm shaking but smiling in bad situations, that's me panicking).

I don't remember how the WhatsApp message was constructed but I remember telling him that I was pregnant with the strips as picture evidence and requested we met. Dude left me on R. I can't believe this dude thinks it's a disparate attempt of mine to get back with him.

I was so mad that I was feeling hot from within. I called his line but no response, then again and again.... I started to hate him so much I knew I couldn't keep the baby

I made a call to an acquaintance at my new night job (I was working two jobs). My acquaintance is what you'd term a "street boy" he promised to help me get rid of it. I don't why I trusted him and I don't know why he agreed to help.

Later that evening at my night job I put a call through to 'him' still, then he answered...

Him.... Hey
Me.... Really! Really!! You want to tell me you didn't see my messages to reply or calls to call back??!!
Him... I don't know what you're talking about
Me... I'm pregnant!!!!!
Him... I don't know what you're talking about
Me... Shocked to the marrow, speechless, sweating from my palms. I hung up the call without saying a word.

VLTA:


Without feeling remorse or guilt is bliss? Dear that sounds like something related to psychopathy.
A society devoid of those would definitely be filled with anarchy and doom and highly calamitous.
The powers that govern and sustain the universe are powers of good. The extreme of bad in a locality will always tend towards anarchy.

Sex beyond its ordained confines leads to divers aches; clear enough isn't it? Sex in itself isn't bad dear.
Not trying to change your strongly held beliefs right? Doing so will be an exercise in futility. Its just a matter of what you've been plugged into. You can decide to get plugged in to a better conduit and receive power for right and clarity on matters of life.

I am not a pastor. Just one who cares.

OK you seem like those in depth people. It's cool though. Spoken like a philosopher. Thx though

I was 24 years old, living in a room and parlour self-contain. Working two jobs in Lagos and a Christian.

I met him in church, he was my first, he had no job, I helped put his CV together.

I've been alone for so long I had a messed up idea as to what love truly is and what belonging should not take from you.

We were together for 4 months only. Everything happened so fast from never being with a man sexually to having an abortion six months later.

I followed my acquaintance home from work that morning. I took a pill with an alcoholic bitters and inserted a pill in my vagina... A full bladder woke me up from sleep but on getting to the restroom I didn't urinate. I felt a huge lump drop off my vagina, I couldn't bring myself to look I flushed.

What followed was almost two weeks of bleeding and excruciating pain, faintness, weakness and numbness. I didn't feel relieved...

Prior to getting the abortion. I had come on Nairaland to look for anyone who wanted a baby and shared a little of my story but I was faced with so much doubts and name calling I deactivated the account. I also updated my WhatsApp status asking if anyone wanted a baby but the person that was interested wanted to know if the parents are good looking. The deal fell through...

I'm an unplanned child, my mom hated me because of whatever my dad put her through and it caused me a lot emotional abuse. The reason as to why I'm out fending for myself, the reason as to why I decided to be chaste but the circles were unto me...

I didn't want to have a child I'll come to look at and hate because of the father. I felt I'd rather not have a child ever than have one and put them through what my own mother put me through.

SweetCunt97:
OK you seem like those in depth people. It's cool though. Spoken like a philosopher. Thx though

My utmost pleasure dear.

OgiPrincess:
I was 24 years old, living in a room and parlour self-contain. Working two jobs in Lagos and a Christian.

I met him in church, he was my first, he had no job, I helped put his CV together.

I've been alone for so long I had a messed up idea as to what love truly is and what belonging should not take from you.

I understand what you are passing through. The most important thing is you've recognized your wrong. Please don't go back to it.

As for your guilt. I know one sure way of getting rid of it. That's by the BLOOD OF JESUS CHRIST. Its true that you've terminated a life, its true that the blood of the innocent child should speak against you, its true that you should be troubled and lose your peace, BUT dear, there's a blood that speaks better than any other blood, and it speaks peace to your soul, it speaks forgiveness, it speaks restoration. Take cover under that blood, use it to purify your conscience, use it to shut the mouth of the accuser. It works better than magic. Try it and you will testify. That blood was shed for your, it was an INNOCENT blood. use it to plead your case, its at your disposal. With God there's mercy.

You ain't defined by your past and the wrongs you've done, don't let those keep you from making the best of your today. A bright and glorious future awaits you, let the weights go.

Please give God more room in your life and i bet you, you will fulfill all you are meant to.

Cheer up dear. past is past. its gone, let it remain past.

VLTA:


I understand what you are passing through. The most important thing is you've recognized your wrong. Please don't go back to it.

As for your guilt. I know one sure way of getting rid of it. That's by the BLOOD OF JESUS CHRIST. Its true that you've terminated a life, its true that the blood of the innocent child should speak against you, its true that you should be troubled and lose your peace, BUT dear, there's a blood that speaks better than any other blood, and its speaks peace to your soul, its speaks forgiveness, it speaks restoration. Take cover under that blood, use it to purify your conscience, use it to shut the mouth of the accuser. It works better than magic. Try it and you will testify. That blood was shed for your, it was an INNOCENT blood. use it to plead your case, its at your disposal. With God there's mercy.

You ain't defined by your past and the wrongs you've done, don't let those keep you from making the best of your today. A bright and glorious future awaits you, let the weights go.

Please give God more room in your life and i bet you, you will fulfill all you are meant to.

Cheer up dear. past is past. its gone, let it remain past.

You can only understand what she is passing through if you have been there.

Op, my advice to you is to keep your secret from anybody outside those that have known about it. Avoid meeting any religious leader in the name of counselling to share your secret, don't say I didn't warn you.

Meanwhile, it's your past, don't dwell much on it. If you are a Christian, tell it to Jesus, his peace is beyond comprehension.

Start it one day at a time; you will pull through.

Pls how old is ur baby?

Ifyyy25:
My dear you took the best decision..you will get over the guilt with time.Im a single mom and I deeply regret not having an abortion, I’m so depressed .The shame and stigma on single moms Is too much, Abortion will save you from the abyss of depression called single motherhood

Ifyyy25:
My dear it’s too much, the nasty things I read online about single moms depresses me, red pill and the rest, I’m doing very well, I’m from a comfortable background and my family gives me a good support system, but mentally and emotionally the negative things I read online drains me

Do not live your life by the opinions of people, especially irrelevant people online. It makes no sense.
Some people are tigers online but more docile than a cat in real life.
Live your life for you.
Be thankful for your supportive family, and take as much help as you can get with raising your child.
Get offline and social media if its beginnibgvto have a negative impact on you.
Always remember many people you interact with online and offline are damaged goods and Nigerians hardly access counselling or help for their mental health.

6 months , a baby girl

Estanie:
Pls how old is ur baby?

Poster please send me a pm we need to talk

OgiPrincess:
I was 24 years old, living in a room and parlour self-contain. Working two jobs in Lagos and a Christian.

I met him in church, he was my first, he had no job, I helped put his CV together.

I've been alone for so long I had a messed up idea as to what love truly is and what belonging should not take from you.

We were together for 4 months only. Everything happened so fast from never being with a man sexually to having an abortion six months later.

I followed my acquaintance home from work that morning. I took a pill with an alcoholic bitters and inserted a pill in my vagina... A full bladder woke me up from sleep but on getting to the restroom I didn't urinate. I felt a huge lump drop off my vagina, I couldn't bring myself to look I flushed.

What followed was almost two weeks of bleeding and excruciating pain, faintness, weakness and numbness. I didn't feel relieved...

Prior to getting the abortion. I had come on Nairaland to look for anyone who wanted a baby and shared a little of my story but I was faced with so much doubts and name calling I deactivated the account. I also updated my WhatsApp status asking if anyone wanted a baby but the person that was interested wanted to know if the parents are good looking. The deal fell through...

I'm an unplanned child, my mom hated me because of whatever my dad put her through and it caused me a lot emotional abuse. The reason as to why I'm out fending for myself, the reason as to why I decided to be chaste but the circles were unto me...

I didn't want to have a child I'll come to look at and hate because of the father. I felt I'd rather not have a child ever than have one and put them through what my own mother put me through.

OgiPrincess:
I was 24 years old, living in a room and parlour self-contain. Working two jobs in Lagos and a Christian.

I met him in church, he was my first, he had no job, I helped put his CV together.

I've been alone for so long I had a messed up idea as to what love truly is and what belonging should not take from you.

We were together for 4 months only. Everything happened so fast from never being with a man sexually to having an abortion six months later.

I followed my acquaintance home from work that morning. I took a pill with an alcoholic bitters and inserted a pill in my vagina... A full bladder woke me up from sleep but on getting to the restroom I didn't urinate. I felt a huge lump drop off my vagina, I couldn't bring myself to look I flushed.

What followed was almost two weeks of bleeding and excruciating pain, faintness, weakness and numbness. I didn't feel relieved...

Prior to getting the abortion. I had come on Nairaland to look for anyone who wanted a baby and shared a little of my story but I was faced with so much doubts and name calling I deactivated the account. I also updated my WhatsApp status asking if anyone wanted a baby but the person that was interested wanted to know if the parents are good looking. The deal fell through...

I'm an unplanned child, my mom hated me because of whatever my dad put her through and it caused me a lot emotional abuse. The reason as to why I'm out fending for myself, the reason as to why I decided to be chaste but the circles were unto me...

I didn't want to have a child I'll come to look at and hate because of the father. I felt I'd rather not have a child ever than have one and put them through what my own mother put me through.

I believe you are a christian. The guilty you're feeling is because of the spirit of God in you. Please don't sear your conscience with hot iron but go back to calvary. Seek the face of our Lord Jesus in forgiveness. 1 John 1vs 9, 1 John 2vs 1-2.
The salvation of your soul is important than anything. Remember the woman accused of adultery in John 8: 1-11. Jesus told her "go and sin no more".

Please, run away from it does not matter folks.

I was listening to a sermon by Mike Todd of Transformation Church a few months after (say 5 months). Then I realized that my mistakes and the reason why things happened the way they did to me is mostly because I didn't have anyone that I was accountable to for the things I do and the decisions I made.

If I had an older Aunt or Uncle, a mentor in Church I could confide in... Just someone that could call me to order then maybe that guy would have taken me serious... I had no one and what can meek me do to him.

So I went to the church, where I met him, our church. I talked to a female pastor about everything! It went round to every pastor and that was the end of it. I'm sure I became a sermon.

I kept seeing abortion condemnation post online here and there and with each post I'll come across the reality of me having actually taken a life dawned on me. I started to feel a presence of a little baby girl, I'll cry and plead with her, telling her how sorry I am, how selfish I am. I'll be in the shower under the running water just crying and washing off. I felt so dirty!

I named her Dinah. I became suicidal, I thought the only way to right what I did was for me to seize to exist but I couldn't bring myself to actually do it because I knew it was still wrong.

I started to self sabotage. I left my jobs for no good reasons. I couldn't afford my rent and I started to squat, I didn't care about looking for a good job. I didn't think I deserved anything good in life so I made sure to run away from opportunities (if I mentioned would be recognized by people I know). I simply gave up the will to live.

I've read about women that slipped into depression and became anorexic after an abortion. My former employer diagnosed me of clinical depression but I waved it off. It took a church member and Michael Todd of Transformation Church to get me to actually listen to what God was saying to me.

I only just realized a few months ago that I've been self sabotaging. I'm still healing hence the feeling of a need to explain myself each time I'm faced with criticism. I cried terribly from reading the comments section on the topic from yesterday on front page. But I didn't cry from brokenness or despair.

I cried from being misunderstood, misplaced and judged. I'm much wiser now. And this is my story and I can't do anything to rid that part of my life. Much of what I felt spurned from feeling disappointed at myself and ashamed of the derogatory remarks I would get when people get to know this part of my life.

I lived my whole life up until that moment trying not to be that girl but like Job said "everything I feared has come upon me".

When you people engage in this sex of a thing and are enjoying it doesn't it cross your mind that a pregnancy could result from it and prepare your minds on what to do about it?

Is it that many of you don't know that raw sex actually results in pregnancy?

Why then do you regret when faced with the result and consequences of the act you willfully partook in, fully aware of all guaranteed outcomes - the pregnancy, the abortion, the baby, the stigma etc.?

Sis, This wasn't a mistake!

Ogiprincess, you can open a diary In diary section to pen down your thoughts.
The guilt may not totally go away but with time it will lessen.
Am I prochoice? To an extent. You know everything before taking that decision. Don't let anyone guiltrip you. Bringing a child to suffer is more evil

I hope you have learnt ur lessons. Warm bear hugs. Also learn to play safe should you choose to remain sexually active.

LadySarah:
Ogiprincess, you can open a diary In diary section to pen down your thoughts.
The guilt may not totally go away but with time it will lessen.
Am I prochoice? To an extent. You know everything before taking that decision. Don't let anyone guiltrip you. Bringing a child to suffer is more evil

I hope you have learnt ur lessons. Warm bear hugs. Also learn to play safe should you choose to remain sexually active.

Thank you so much sister.

I think I know about the guilt not ever leaving as it has been two years since it happened. And I've been celibate for over a year now.

Thank you once again

Modified

I can barely keep a dairy in book form. Online will be worse

SweetCunt97:
The ability to give in to one's animalistic side without feeling guilt or remorse is bliss. Having sex doesn't not degrade one's values, it simply how one goes about it.

Anyways pastor, na u sabi.

Animals mate with their blood relatives, like my very first dog mated with her male children and gave birth to a generation of pups with a lot of congenital defects. Is that also bliss? Dogs eat shit_ without remorse. Is that also bliss?

Giving way to your animalistic side makes you just that: an animal, unfit to live among humans.

Ishilove:

Animals mate with their blood relatives, like my very first dog mated with her male children and gave birth to a generation of pups with a lot of congenital defects. Is that also bliss? Dogs eat shit_ without remorse. Is that also bliss?

Giving way to your animalistic side makes you just that: an animal, unfit to live among humans.

Okay I think I used d wrong word. Was simply referring to sex though. And common, we humans got common sense na.

See how you twisted everything with ur queer mind. Jeeez

How will someone make wrong choices, get pregnant outside wedlock, and see that beautiful child everyday but still regret not killing it earlier because of 'slut shaming' and on line stuffs? Terribly sad.

SweetCunt97 post=91539077:
The ability to give in to one's animalistic side without feeling guilt or remorse is bliss. Having sex doesn't not degrade one's values, it simply how one goes about it.

Anyways pastor, na u sabi.

No it's not! What do you think makes you human if you can't control your cravings and urges. If we all gave in and indulged our animalistic tendencies, it'd be hypocritical of you to criticize rapists, murderers, Hushpuppy and other vices

OgiPrincess:
I was listening to a sermon by Mike Todd of Transformation Church a few months after (say 5 months). Then I realized that my mistakes and the reason why things happened the way they did to me is mostly because I didn't have anyone that I was accountable to for the things I do and the decisions I made.

If I had an older Aunt or Uncle, a mentor in Church I could confide in... Just someone that could call me to order then maybe that guy would have taken me serious... I had no one and what can meek me do to him.

So I went to the church, where I met him, our church. I talked to a female pastor about everything! It went round to every pastor and that was the end of it. I'm sure I became a sermon.

I kept seeing abortion condemnation post online here and there and with each post I'll come across the reality of me having actually taken a life dawned on me. I started to feel a presence of a little baby girl, I'll cry and plead with her, telling her how sorry I am, how selfish I am. I'll be in the shower under the running water just crying and washing off. I felt so dirty!

I named her Dinah. I became suicidal, I thought the only way to right what I did was for me to seize to exist but I couldn't bring myself to actually do it because I knew it was still wrong.

I started to self sabotage. I left my jobs for no good reasons. I couldn't afford my rent and I started to squat, I didn't care about looking for a good job. I didn't think I deserved anything good in life so I made sure to run away from opportunities (if I mentioned would be recognized by people I know). I simply gave up the will to live.

I've read about women that slipped into depression and became anorexic after an abortion. My former employer diagnosed me of clinical depression but I waved it off. It took a church member and Michael Todd of Transformation Church to get me to actually listen to what God was saying to me.

I only just realized a few months ago that I've been self sabotaging. I'm still healing hence the feeling of a need to explain myself each time I'm faced with criticism. I cried terribly from reading the comments section on the topic from yesterday on front page. But I didn't cry from brokenness or despair.

I cried from being misunderstood, misplaced and judged. I'm much wiser now. And this is my story and I can't do anything to rid that part of my life. Much of what I felt spurned from feeling disappointed at myself and ashamed of the derogatory remarks I would get when people get to know this part of my life.

I lived my whole life up until that moment trying not to be that girl but like Job said "everything I feared has come upon me".

Honestly I don't really know what to tell you. But I have to say is this. Just move on that's life. May Almighty God heal your pains.

God got your back... Hang in there!

Conscience is an open wound, only truth can heal.

Ogiprincess, I think you're on the road to healing and recovery by taking responsibility for what happened, but I'd advice that you don't dwell on it and don't live in the past with it's guilty feelings.

There's someone out there, who's done far worse than you ever did and, have become so numbed as to have any regrets whatsoever.

Let go and let be

Graxie:
You can only understand what she is passing through if you have been there.

What is the difference between the post you quoted and yours below

Graxie:
Op, my advice to you is to keep your secret from anybody outside those that have known about it. Avoid meeting any religious leader in the name of counselling to share your secret, don't say I didn't warn you.

Meanwhile, it's your past, don't dwell much on it. If you are a Christian, tell it to Jesus, his peace is beyond comprehension.

Start it one day at a time; you will pull through.

LadySarah:
Ogiprincess, you can open a diary In diary section to pen down your thoughts.
The guilt may not totally go away but with time it will lessen.
Am I prochoice? To an extent. You know everything before taking that decision. Don't let anyone guiltrip you. Bringing a child to suffer is more evil

I hope you have learnt ur lessons. Warm bear hugs. Also learn to play safe should you choose to remain sexually active.

You don't get it:

Nobody is guilt tripping her, it is her conscience doing that.

And bringing a child to 'suffer' will not give her guilty conscience she has now. For starters, she won't have blood on her hands.

OgiPrincess:
I was listening to a sermon by Mike Todd of Transformation Church a few months after (say 5 months). Then I realized that my mistakes and the reason why things happened the way they did to me is mostly because I didn't have anyone that I was accountable to for the things I do and the decisions I made.

If I had an older Aunt or Uncle, a mentor in Church I could confide in... Just someone that could call me to order then maybe that guy would have taken me serious... I had no one and what can meek me do to him.

So I went to the church, where I met him, our church. I talked to a female pastor about everything! It went round to every pastor and that was the end of it. I'm sure I became a sermon.

I kept seeing abortion condemnation post online here and there and with each post I'll come across the reality of me having actually taken a life dawned on me. I started to feel a presence of a little baby girl, I'll cry and plead with her, telling her how sorry I am, how selfish I am. I'll be in the shower under the running water just crying and washing off. I felt so dirty!

I named her Dinah. I became suicidal, I thought the only way to right what I did was for me to seize to exist but I couldn't bring myself to actually do it because I knew it was still wrong.

I started to self sabotage. I left my jobs for no good reasons. I couldn't afford my rent and I started to squat, I didn't care about looking for a good job. I didn't think I deserved anything good in life so I made sure to run away from opportunities (if I mentioned would be recognized by people I know). I simply gave up the will to live.

I've read about women that slipped into depression and became anorexic after an abortion. My former employer diagnosed me of clinical depression but I waved it off. It took a church member and Michael Todd of Transformation Church to get me to actually listen to what God was saying to me.

I only just realized a few months ago that I've been self sabotaging. I'm still healing hence the feeling of a need to explain myself each time I'm faced with criticism. I cried terribly from reading the comments section on the topic from yesterday on front page. But I didn't cry from brokenness or despair.

I cried from being misunderstood, misplaced and judged. I'm much wiser now. And this is my story and I can't do anything to rid that part of my life. Much of what I felt spurned from feeling disappointed at myself and ashamed of the derogatory remarks I would get when people get to know this part of my life.

I lived my whole life up until that moment trying not to be that girl but like Job said "everything I feared has come upon me".

You are on the right path of recovery and will turn out fine in the end.

*Warm hugs*

My dear sister, what has happened happened already it's time to move on you have a bright future.

A very good close friend of mine committed 4 abortions for 2 different guys, the guys were not ready to commit when she told them she was pregnant, She was depressed at a time, but with moral support and encouragement she pulled through.

She is married now with a beautiful daughter and We have kept this as a secret and her past also never to tell anyone.

I am just telling you this to encourage you, we all have our story and this is yours. Just keep pushing and let what happened be a lesson.


You will be alright.

brunnette4real:
My dear sister, what has happened happened already it's time to move on you have a bright future.

A very good close friend of mine committed 4 abortions for 2 different guys, the guys were not ready to commit when she told them she was pregnant, She was depressed at a time, but with moral support and encouragement she pulled through.

She is married now with a beautiful daughter and We have kept this as a secret and her past also never to tell anyone.

I am just telling you this to encourage you, we all have our story and this is yours. Just keep pushing and let what happened be a lesson.


You will be alright.

I’m happy for her if she decided to be a single mom by having any of those kids she won’t have gotten married

Tadeknkeepcalm:

That's a lie. That's the narrative pro choice people choose.

What I'm asking is not even about abortion.
I'm asking you, if after giving birth already, feeling the warmth of the baby, feeling him latch onto your breast, hearing the baby's cries, you wished you had killed him or her?



PS: you make it seem like you only have two choices—be a single mother or abort. What about maintaining your chastity?

stop this nonsense

OgiPrincess:


Thank you so much sister.

I think I know about the guilt not ever leaving as it has been two years since it happened. And I've been celibate for over a year now.

Thank you once again

Modified

I can barely keep a dairy in book form. Online will be worse

I believe you did the right thing. It was not the best, but the reasons you had for doing it are legitimate. Never let anyone rob you of that.

I advice that you take this to your grave. Healing takes time, it's one foot in front of the other.

One day you will be able to browse online and not feel codemnation and scorn of faceless strangers like me who don't matter.

You don't have the luxury of self pity. Instead, live a life of no regrets. If you regret, it means that you are not capable of making good decisions. Don't feel bad dear. Go out to a park or somwhere with nature. You will be okay. You will be fine. You will overcome this.

Learn from your mistakes. Go to the nearest clinic for family planning so that it wont repeat itself. Hope you know your blood group and it isn't A,B, AB or O negative?

You will be fine.

If after reading some comments up there and someone pin point to me he's not afraid of women then.....he's really a legend .
The earlier people start alloweing God to used them the better for us.
#peace