How Does One Make Wifey To Earn An Income - Family - Nairaland
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| How Does One Make Wifey To Earn An Income by Blissquare(f): 7:43pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
Hello people. My close sousin came to me for advise but the only ideas may look harsh. I post his predicament here so that I can see neutral point of views. in his words... I married my wife while she ran a small business of buying and selling shoes but I had no idea the actual income was so little. I am a civil servant myself but I've been able to pick up my bills with the help of my knowledge of I. T. After having 2 kids, I realised that I need more income but my wife can not afford to support in anyway. I rented her a shop and furnished to sell her shoes hoping to attract more profit but she sold many on credit and could not give account of capital. later, she got a job at a school earning 15k a month. she is so complacent because I pay all the bills. Any time that I encourage her to be more productive, it ends in arguments. I farm alongside my work and hustle but she doesn't know how to be gainfully employed. I pay for everything including my kids weaving of hair. I don't plan to shift any burden to her but I expect her to save if she is gainfully employed. This pandemic has taught me many lessons. What if I was not receiving salary? what if I die? What if her parents are sick? How can a graduate be okay not doing anything tangible. I gave her an ultimatum to think of something and I would support her but instead, she got pregnant without my consent and now has an excuse not to work for the next one year. My car has broken down for months and I could not afford to fix it. Having 3kids without a car is okay by her. If she can't work or be business savvy then why did she get pregnant against my will? Do I stop giving her food or pocket money? How do I force her to work to secure her future and her children's? There is nothing wrong in having a supportive wife. Please don't misunderstand my complaints. I have spoken to her in love and harshness but none has worked. I need a practical solution. 4 Likes |
| Re: How Does One Make Wifey To Earn An Income by faithfull18(f): 7:56pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
Hmmn. 1 Like |
| Re: How Does One Make Wifey To Earn An Income by betterbest: 8:42pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
There're some women like that, they can't just hustle, very layback kidda women. Continue feeding her and pay bills. There's nothing you can do about it. 11 Likes |
| Re: How Does One Make Wifey To Earn An Income by helinues: 9:37pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
Crypto currency, affiliating programs, refferal programs, data entry |
| Re: How Does One Make Wifey To Earn An Income by frozen70(f): 9:42pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
Blissquare: Now is the time to stamp your feet on the ground and take a decision that will favour the family on the long run Allow her to put to bed successfully and start introducing a new system that will make her seat up Be the one and be ready to pick what is needed at home Stop giving her excess allowance and start saving toward buying a land The less money she gets from you the more she will start thinking of her tomorrow Stop telling her to get something doing, if she is smart she will read the hand writing on the wall After this child birth, warn her not to become pregnant again and if she does, you will return her to her parents and start another life where you can live with a woman who is ready to obey you and make sure you warn her in the presence of her immediate family You have to be serious with your decisions and actions When a woman is not really ready to assist her husband in contributing to the house keep, she is not interested in running the home and that means so much burden on the man God forbid the man is gone, she will be as useless as letter K in knicker and you know what that means Be strict with the money you are giving her 13 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: How Does One Make Wifey To Earn An Income by Spicywify: 9:44pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
How did she get pregnant without your consent? Did you use protection or she got pregnant by herself? Encourage her more. Take her along to the farm when you are going. Not everyone is business savvy. If you can help her get a better job, good for you! 13 Likes |
| Re: How Does One Make Wifey To Earn An Income by LadySarah: 9:45pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
;DHow does a woman get herself pregnant, bikonu?Use a condom if you aren't ready for a new baby. Share your concerns to her the way you shared it here. I think any sensible person will understand you mean well.maybe she's afraid of her past experience in business. Talk to her. You know her better than us 7 Likes |
| Re: How Does One Make Wifey To Earn An Income by merieam16(f): 11:22pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
Let her deliver the baby first,just pray that she doesnt av any complications or delivery through CS Congrats in adv. 1 Like |
| Re: How Does One Make Wifey To Earn An Income by amaham(m): 11:30pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
Pls how can someone get pregnant without consent? 4 Likes |
| Re: How Does One Make Wifey To Earn An Income by Sixfeetbelle: 11:51pm On Aug 02, 2020 |
I have nothing to say, so let me just book this space  |
| Re: How Does One Make Wifey To Earn An Income by Sisijetue(f): 12:00am On Aug 03, 2020 |
its very difficult to deal with a lazy spouse 3 Likes |
| Re: How Does One Make Wifey To Earn An Income by Nobody: 12:35am On Aug 03, 2020 |
This thread has potential.... Space booked. |
| Re: How Does One Make Wifey To Earn An Income by Nobody: 12:51am On Aug 03, 2020 |
Women who don't bring anything to the table from the beginning will NEVER bring after several years of marriage. If you don't enforce it from the beginning, It would be hard. You cannot just wake up & start telling your wife to help you out after years of complacency, When in the beginning you was never keen on what she financially brought to the table. I definitely understand what you meant by getting herself pregnant, I can guess that you guys had family planning & she didn't followup on the procedures as she was meant to be. Correct me If I'm wrong please. I will advise you focus on the finances and care your wife and next baby will need, your journey is long oh. na OYO be your case. cc: PrimadonnaO: https://www.nairaland.com/5766702/rejoinder-marrying-woman-makes-money 4 Likes |
| Re: How Does One Make Wifey To Earn An Income by Nobody: 1:07am On Aug 03, 2020 |
frozen70: I'm guessing this has to do with Family planning right? Please can you explain how it really works? I am asking because every one on the thread is either pretending or ignorant that a woman can prevent herself from getting pregnant. 3 Likes |
| Re: How Does One Make Wifey To Earn An Income by bosman50(m): 1:09am On Aug 03, 2020 |
amaham: 3 Likes 1 Share
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| Re: How Does One Make Wifey To Earn An Income by cococandy(f): 1:34am On Aug 03, 2020 |
Before getting married, people should discuss what their contributions to the home will be. Chose someone who agrees with you and pursue your dreams together. Don’t start out promoting a traditional family lifestyle and expect a change midway. People don’t easily learn new habits midlife. When and if you succeed in getting her to start contributing financially, be ready to pick up some slack at home as well. I wish ‘your cousin’ good luck. 5 Likes |
| Re: How Does One Make Wifey To Earn An Income by frozen70(f): 1:55am On Aug 03, 2020 |
truthsayer009: A woman knows her cycle better than any one and she does know how to prevent pregnancy But in her own case, she doesn't want to be burden with family responsibilities so being pregnant at this time will make the guy to stop reminding her of her support We have so many methods of preventing pregnancy that some of them are even natural Assuming she is the one feeding the family, she will avoid pregnancy by all means 12 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: How Does One Make Wifey To Earn An Income by jaz(m): 3:10am On Aug 03, 2020 |
Wisdom!! Men should learn to steer clear if women who lack ambition and foresight of their role in supporting their men. 4 Likes |
| Re: How Does One Make Wifey To Earn An Income by MMotimo: 3:30am On Aug 03, 2020 |
The problem is more complicated than getting her to earn an income. That husband has married a woman that is comfortable with poverty and lack. Women like that do not see a connection between their financial contributions and the family’s wellbeing. The husband is probably going to carry the burden all the days of their matrimony. It does not sound like she has any appreciation nor understanding of the term “financial comfort.” Such women only focus on child bearing and she’s probably not done with that yet so brace yourself for more kids. You can be lazy and still seek financial comfort by focusing on managing your resources. She’s not interested in contributing income nor managing resources. A woman like that can condemn you to a lifetime of poverty. Even if you start up another business for her, it is unlikely to be successful. You can’t force drive and self love. She’s either born with it or has a desire to develop it. For the sake of your children, you need to figure out something fast because God forbid something happens to you, they are likely to suffer. 7 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: How Does One Make Wifey To Earn An Income by Nobody: 4:17am On Aug 03, 2020 |
before you marry why una no discuss. nonsense 3 Likes |
| Re: How Does One Make Wifey To Earn An Income by LadySarah: 5:59am On Aug 03, 2020 |
frozen70: Don't conclude cos this is a one sided story. You don't know her fears and how confrontational her husband may have been. She was in business when you met her, she switched over to teaching later. Anyone teaching in Nigeria is a very strong person. This isn't a lazy woman. All she needs is an assurance and encouragement. Fp fails. The only foolproof method is abstinence. Even in the fp dept,they list out their percentage success rate.so many women are carrying pregnancies not planned for or don't you know married ppl vist hospitals to abort them after theyve had an agreed no. My inlaw used the 8 yr fp method but took in the 6th yr,her husband was talking like this Op. It is folly to conclude already. 10 Likes |
| Re: How Does One Make Wifey To Earn An Income by LordKO(m): 7:33am On Aug 03, 2020 |
Dual-earning isn't automatically the solution to his need, just as absence of it isn't the main cause of his obvious transfer of aggression. He isn't money-savvy and he doesn't have altruistic interest in his wife. He should stop the transfer of aggression with immediate effect. He went into the union with the mindset that his wife will be sharing bills with him, even though he'll deny this as evident in your submission. He has always disingenuously wanted a wife and a woman-business-partner from one woman but it doesn't work out well like that without doing the right things from the inception. He ought to have fairly gone from the the inception for the right woman who fits his wish, secure her understanding and cedes to her. Well, as it stands now, with the feasible option he has in hand, a simple change of thought process match with action, very difficult but possible, will do the magic for him. If I were him, I'd simply assume that money-making isn't her forte and I'll transmute the energy of wishing her to sit-up, in this regard, and devise a means to better the finance of the family for the betterment of all. Let him squash his expectations and assume responsibility of the family finances, work smarter and harder rather than working longer and harder. He should focus on being money-savvy. Not until he's able to create a passive source of income for his family would he be entitled to arrogate money-savviness to himself or justifiably has the audacity to say that his wife isn't productive. There's nothing bad with a wife who has passion in money-making, who's making money and is generous to her home, but a wife who doesn't have same money-making passion and ability shouldn't be treated with contempt, especially when she's neither frivolous nor insatiable nor exploitative like the woman under discussion as your submission connotes. One doesn't automatically need to have a money-making passion and ability to be counted resourceful and responsible, although a union between two people who share the same trait in this regard isn't advisable. 21 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: How Does One Make Wifey To Earn An Income by Nobody: 8:31am On Aug 03, 2020 |
Thanks for the explanation @frozen70 See Miss/Mrs LadySarah, there are two types of Women, those who tell themselves the truth & those who don't. The story OP narrated is clear enough. She started a business & couldn't even maintain it. She is comfortable with a 15k job as a teacher? C'MON! Be honest with yourself na. At least for once, leave this Always support Women no matter what campaign. Habba, Fear God ma, Fear God. He already said below that he encourages her & she flares up. She's not ready. Any time that I encourage her to be more productive, it ends in arguments. I farm alongside my work and hustle but she doesn't know how to be gainfully employed. I.T personell + Farmer, he has tried please. 4 Likes |
| Re: How Does One Make Wifey To Earn An Income by frozen70(f): 8:39am On Aug 03, 2020 |
truthsayer009: It's only a responsible married woman that can understand what the man is complaining about I read ladysarah mention on my comment, I refuse to respond because if you don't have any experience of home up keep, you can't understand why the man is building the wife As for me, the woman in question doesn't want to stress herself, she believes it's a man duty Good and fine, what if the man is not there tomorrow, won't it be too late to start learning how to write with left hand As for me, let women contribute to family upkeep so that the wheel will have a balance after all what's my gain if I decides not to help When a woman is making impact into the family, its difficult for the man to see her as a liability, as a matter of fact, the man will protect her before his family and will avoid anything that will make her unhappy 5 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: How Does One Make Wifey To Earn An Income by LadySarah: 9:23am On Aug 03, 2020 |
There's nothing we say here that will change their situation abi you ppl want to go to his house . I still maintain that he talks with his wife cos he knows him best. Secondly, if you nut in a woman without protection, she will be pregnant. If you don't want pregnancy you take charge. Keep waiting for your consent, she will carry another one and keep buying time. 3 Likes |
| Re: How Does One Make Wifey To Earn An Income by NtiObaEneke(f): 12:42pm On Aug 03, 2020 |
she got pregnant without my consent If she can't work or be business savvy then why did she get pregnant against my will?When you were asleep, she took hold of your preek, squeezed out the sperm and injected into her womb. You must be high on your own fart. 2 Likes |
| Re: How Does One Make Wifey To Earn An Income by jaz(m): 1:56pm On Aug 03, 2020 |
Guess that's the only part that resonates with you. NtiObaEneke: |
| Re: How Does One Make Wifey To Earn An Income by NtiObaEneke(f): 2:07pm On Aug 03, 2020 |
jaz:It resonates with me because of the stupid double standards Nigerian men are notorious for. 10 Likes |
| Re: How Does One Make Wifey To Earn An Income by NoToPile: 2:12pm On Aug 03, 2020 |
Lots of businesses are not that profitable, some of them are just 'let it not be that I am not doing anything' try getting her a well paying job or if its a business something that moves fast. She might not be okay with not doing anything tangible, lots of graduates don't even have anything tangible doing they are just hustling here and there. You might be wrong that she's complacent. As for the pregnancy part, go for family planning after this, you don't expect her not to get pregnant without any prevention. 5 Likes |
| Re: How Does One Make Wifey To Earn An Income by LordKO(m): 2:20pm On Aug 03, 2020 |
NtiObaEneke: Nothing can be more irritating than seeing mentally parochial and sententiously chauvinistic elements like you and your ilk projecting the stupid men and women who brought you into this world towards others. Not all Nigerian men and women are stupid. 12 Likes |
| Re: How Does One Make Wifey To Earn An Income by NtiObaEneke(f): 2:32pm On Aug 03, 2020 |
LordKO:Reading your nonsense gave me a headache. Your unnecessary verbosity shows the kind of inferiority complex troubling you. Also note that your parents are the ones that are very stupid, not mine. You are also an idiot for jumping to cuss the parents of total strangers on the internet and it reflects your gutter breeding. I spit on you. Useless thing. 8 Likes |
| Re: How Does One Make Wifey To Earn An Income by LordKO(m): 2:41pm On Aug 03, 2020 |
NtiObaEneke: I hope you'll direct your further mention to the stupid man and woman who brought you into this world. A typical sententious element who couldn't stomach the nonsense she spewed; it never occurs to crass and expedient elements like you that the "all stupid Nigerian men and women" comprise your fathers, mothers, siblings. etc. The Internet is a true leveller. Bumpkins. 13 Likes |
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