A story i found in facebook.


[size=14pt]The Marraige proposal[/size]
Dedicated to those especially who are waiting for their soul mate,

Once there was a very handsome, pious, well educated young man, whose parents emphasised for him to get married. they had seen so many marriage proposals, and he had turned them all down. The parents thought it was becoming a little ridiculous or suspected that he may have someone else in mind.

However every time the parents left the girls house, the young man would always say "she's not the one!" The young man only wanted a girl who was religious and practising, however one evening his mother arranged for him, to meet a girl, who was religious, and practicing.

On that evening, the young man, and girl, were left to talk, and ask each other questions. (As one would expect). The young man, being a gentleman that he was allowed, the lady to ask first.

The young girl asked the young man so many questions, she asked about his life, his education, his friends, his family, his habits, his hobbies, his lifestyle, his enjoyment, his pastime, his experiences, his shoe size.

The young man replied to all of her questions, without tiring, and politely, with a smile the young girl took up nearly all of the time, over an hour, and felt bad, and asked the young man do you have any questions?

The young man said, it's ok. "I only have 3 questions." The young girl thought, wow, only 3 questions okay, shoot.

The young man's first question was, "Who do you love the most in the world, someone who's love nothing would ever overcome?"
She said, "this is an easy question; my mother," he smiled

Second question, he asked, "you said that you read a lot of Qur'an, could you tell me which surahs you know the meaning of?"
Hearing this she went red and embarrassed and said, "I do not know the meaning of any yet, but I am hoping to soon insha'Allah I've just been a bit busy."

The third question the young man asked, was "I have been approached for my hand in marriage, by girls that are a lot more prettier than you, why should I marry you?"
Hearing this the young girl was outraged, she stormed off to her parents with fury, and said "I do not want to marry this man he is insulting my beauty, and intelligence." And the young man and his parents, were once again, left without an agreement of marriage.

This time, the young mans parents were really angry, and said "what did you do to anger that girl, the family were so nice, and pleasant, and they were religious like you wanted. What did you ask the girl?? Tell us!"

The young man said, "firstly I asked her, who do you love the most? she said, her mother," [/i]The parents said so, what is wrong with that??The young man said, "[i]'no one, is Muslim, until he loves Allah, and his messenger (saw) more than anyone else in the world'
If a woman loves Allah and the Prophet (pbuh) more than anyone, she will love me and respect me, and stay faithful to me, because of that love, and fear for Allah (swt). and we can share this love, because this love is greater than lust for beauty."

The young man said, "'then I asked, you read a lot of Qur'an, can you tell me the meaning of any surah?' And she said no, because I haven't had time yet. so I thought of that hadith "ALL humans, are dead except for those who have knowledge" She has lived 20 years and not found ANY time, to seek knowledge, why would I marry a woman, who does not know her rights, and responsibilities, and what will she teach my children, except how to be negligent, because the woman IS the madressah (school) and the best of teachers. And a woman who has no time for Allah, will not have time for her husband."

"The third [/b]question I asked her was, that a lot of girls, more prettier than her, had approached me for marriage, why should I choose you? That is why she stormed off, getting angry." The young man's parents said[i]" that is a horrible thing to say, why would you do such a thing, we are going back there to apologise."[/i] The young man said "I said this on purpose, to test whether she could control her anger." [b]"The Prophet (saw) said do not get angry, do not get angry, do not get angry" when asked how to become pious; because anger is from Satan. If a woman cannot control her anger with a stranger she has just met. Do you think she will be able to control it with her husband??

So, the moral of this story is, a marriage is based on:
*knowledge - not looks,
*practice - not preaching,
*Forgiveness - not anger,
*spiritual love - not lust.
*and compromise

One should look for a person who :

1) Has love for Allah (swt) and the messenger (saw)
2) Has knowledge of the deen, and can act upon it.
3) can control their anger
4) and willing to compromise.

And it goes both ways, so women seeking a man, should look for the
same things.

Insha'allah, may Allah make every marriage a success, and let us create Love for Allah and his messenger(saw) so that Allah can bless us, and create love in our lives.

Ameen

Nice read, good lessons.

But you see, some people are not good at answering questions spontenously. The line of thinking of the woman could have been different from that of the man. for example, in the 'who do u love most question', the woman might not be thinking spiritually, she might be thinking that the brother just wanted to have an insight into her life, to know her best friend/confidant or something.

Though the woman shouldn't have flaired up, but we are humans. let's be realistic. It's rather impolite of the man to tell her he's got proposals from more beautiful women, and on their 1st meeting!

The guy clearly had a purpose for the questions whereas the girl was caught unawares. Left to me, I wouldn't judge that girl as being bad based on the described scenario.

If a man goes on like that with all sisters he comes across, he may end up not getting married and if people come to know him for that, any interested sister would just put up a good saintly act for him on their 1st meeting, and if he falls for it, then he'll see her true colors after the wedding.

We shouldn't be too strict or uptight in our selection of spouse. And shouldn't be cunny or pretentious as well. Let there be moderation in everything.

zayhal:

Nice read, good lessons.

But you see, some people are not good at answering questions spontenously.
The guy clearly had a purpose for the questions whereas the girl was caught unawares. Left to me, I wouldn't judge that girl as being bad based on the described scenario.

Ofcourse you cant get right answers to such personal questions in the first meeting.
This is just a story with a beautiful inner meaning. The story rightly stresses on the problems faced by us youth today. Most of us while searching for a spouse go after beauty, money and outward things. The moral of the story is rather than looking for such things we should look for good manners, love for Allah, willingness to compromise etc.

May Allah bless us with a good spouse.
Ameen.

Amin