owo8184:
I am a young married man with 2 kids. The marriage is 6yrs now. Due to the situation of the country, we’ve not been staying together. I hustle in a University environment in one of the states in Southwest while she works as a freelance for some organizations in Lagos.

I normally come home (Lagos) on monthly basis. But during this lockdown, I have been in Lagos with my family.

Prior to our marriage, there is this guy she met when we had some misunderstanding. They started a date but later called it off when we settled. She didn’t give me the details but based on what I read on her phone back then, I knew they made out together. The said guy is now in Port Harcourt but I am aware he normally comes to Lagos.

Just today, I heard my wife giving someone a description of where they will meet somewhere in Agege (where she uses as her office). I was curious to know the person. I didn’t ask her because she would find a story to cover up. I found a way to check her phone and saw that her ex - the said guy was the one who called. May I say that we have fought over this guy several times even before and after our marriage. She won’t let this guy be in her past. She’s either calling the guy or the guy is calling her. This time, I chose not to raise my voice but monitor her closely. She left home for work today. I may not be able to give details but every surrounding clue indicates that my wife has a date today. She returned home and I found a way to check her whatsapp but alas she has deleted her chats with the guy.

Just this night again, she received a call from another man asking her when she would come to his office. She once told me that the man was asking her out. In all these, I want to believe my wife is up to something. Infidelity is the last I would accept in this marriage.

Should I confront her with all these observations? Please, I am confused.

She is fvcking her ex raw and to be sincere the guy might be very good in bedmatic skills, lemme be real with you sir, do some investigation and find out for yourself.

Also conduct DNA on those kids, they might not be yours.....

I doubt if she will stop after being caught she will just up her game with him.....

annex1:
Dont confront her. Just focus on yourself and children please. And till you suspect otherwise, use protection during intercourse.

How is this a solution?

Bro, laugh wan kill me with this your comment.
What that man is passing through right now, is what most men are passing through in their various homes and relationship. Same thing is happening to me presently and I have informed the girl that I am taking a break from the relationship so that she can sort her self out with her other suitors. Luckily for me, I am yet to tie the knot with her.

DonBenny77:
Chai, sorry man.
To marry no hungry me again sef.....

You dont have to confront her. Tell her straight, you know all that has been happening behind your back.

Dont talk much. Just tell her your health is very important for you and you need it to grow so that you can take good care of your kids.

Then become unpredictable. No send her. Just lockup and act like nothing dey happen. You will see wonders happening from her side.

You dont have to push for more findings, all you know already is enough to know she is seeing another man.

owo8184:


Thanks but if you asked me before now, I will tell you she's not a cheat. We dated 6yrs before marriage. I took her virginity at the age of 27. I think she's been influenced by social media.

TROLL

Tunagee:


And so?

U no go know

One4me:




Good Advise but a Man's life should not all be about Pleasing a Woman, you never know where it will end.
Sometimes, in the attempt to please a woman, a man's life ends in the grave.
A cheat will still cheat, even if you gave them your Life on a Plate.
You cant MAKE SURE your Wife will not need another Man because she will, if she will.

[b]If your wife is not contented with what is on offer from you, then you better save your life by freeing her.
No one is perfect, No one can please the other 100%, every marriage is a "management of the best what is available".
I cant kill myself o, l cant kill myselfat all because of trying to please a wife[/b]

You are absolutely right

Chydo63:
my brother leave story, most women will be loyal and faithful if you're loaded. There is very little you can do if she's sharing the bills with you. The rate of infidelity today amongst married women is alarming. I spoke to some & they all told me they can't forgo their rich exes, because they help them financially whenever oga is broke. And all know the economy of Naija today so, tell me...!

Says who? A bored wife (with access to internet) of a rich dude would cheat to kill boredom. It's not always about enough money

wany:

But she can share another woman with him right

stop justifying cheating did you hear me make such claims that you said? From your comment this one is either considering cheating on his husband and looking for justification, or has outrightly done so. Open marriage people and abusers of covenant. No honour or dignity #spits

owo8184:


I think the first option is what I will choose. I don't think she can even listen. Magun is a no no. I am not that desperate. . Thanks all the same

you are not desperate but you came to naira land to seek advice.

delkuf:
Are you sure you are the Father of those kids

@owo8184: this is a good question. You're really taking shiit my man, marriage is not supposed to look like this. You are really suffering in silence

fados4sure:

Okay he should start beating her or better still divorce her

deliberately go and find an evidence, until you do that abstain from having sex with her. Asking the young man to sweep everything under the carpet like it is a norm and take care or his kids while still having sex with her in the midst of doubt. Really some of you can have erection even in the most unsuitable mind condition-fear and distrust. #spits again

Jackdasilver:


Were you expecting him to commit suicide because of a woman? Allow him to catch her red handed and divorce her.

deliberately go and find an evidence, until you do that abstain from having sex with her. Asking the young man to sweep everything under the carpet like it is a norm and take care or his kids while still having sex with her in the midst of doubt. Really some of you can have erection even in the most unsuitable mind condition-fear and distrust. #spits again

joepepsy:
The guy gave his opinion,give yours and move!!

deliberately go and find an evidence, until you do that abstain from having sex with her. Asking the young man to sweep everything under the carpet like it is a norm and take care or his kids while still having sex with her in the midst of doubt. Really some of you can have erection even in the most unsuitable mind condition-fear and distrust. #spits again

DonBenny77:
Chai, sorry man.
To marry no hungry me again sef.....

why that, because of someone's marriage,brace up bro,things doesn't work that way,look he has every right to question his wife's fidelity and mind you whatever action he chose to take it should be backed up with enough evidence and not only the mere checking of messages and call he does,I keep telling young people even my very self what ever wrong you see in your relationship or during courtship and you fail to correct that, believe you me the trend will continue after marriage,he noticed this in time,he saw it clearly and maybe he did or didn't do anything about it and look at the resultant effect now...Sha I pray let it not be what he's thinking ooooh cos infidelity to me is the highest crime one can commit in marriage,not only will you lose trust for each other but also it has the tendency of wrecking havoc or even going to the length of tearing the marriage apart...

tumababa:


He might be the SAID guy....

or he may be sleeping with someone else's wife in his real life, hence advising this alleged victim of marital abuse to focus on his children and be using condom to sleep with his wife Wetting i dey see for marriage and marriage advisors hand these days dey do that thing fear me. #spits

Marriage...lol e sweet when u re loaded and married to a loyal & God fearing woman/man. Young man u better focus on making money and take good care of ur kids. Plz confirm the kids are ur flesh and blood. Na wa oo. If I suspect a woman , she is gone. Which 1 Is u suspect and u still dey bang her? Bleep Bleep Bleep. Ur condition must change b4 December. She don see u finish

owo8184:
I am a young married man with 2 kids. The marriage is 6yrs now. Due to the situation of the country, we’ve not been staying together. I hustle in a University environment in one of the states in Southwest while she works as a freelance for some organizations in Lagos.

I normally come home (Lagos) on monthly basis. But during this lockdown, I have been in Lagos with my family.

Prior to our marriage, there is this guy she met when we had some misunderstanding. They started a date but later called it off when we settled. She didn’t give me the details but based on what I read on her phone back then, I knew they made out together. The said guy is now in Port Harcourt but I am aware he normally comes to Lagos.

Just today, I heard my wife giving someone a description of where they will meet somewhere in Agege (where she uses as her office). I was curious to know the person. I didn’t ask her because she would find a story to cover up. I found a way to check her phone and saw that her ex - the said guy was the one who called. May I say that we have fought over this guy several times even before and after our marriage. She won’t let this guy be in her past. She’s either calling the guy or the guy is calling her. This time, I chose not to raise my voice but monitor her closely. She left home for work today. I may not be able to give details but every surrounding clue indicates that my wife has a date today. She returned home and I found a way to check her whatsapp but alas she has deleted her chats with the guy.

Just this night again, she received a call from another man asking her when she would come to his office. She once told me that the man was asking her out. In all these, I want to believe my wife is up to something. Infidelity is the last I would accept in this marriage.

Should I confront her with all these observations? Please, I am confused.

Palema007:
Your foundation was faulty. While dating/courting she got intimate with a guy, you guys settled and got married. Did you make sure she cut off the guy before marrying her?

See, while I try as much as possible to be forgiving, two things I don't take is betrayal and cheating. While I may let go of the former with precautions i cant the latter. Cheats don't change! Let no one tell you otherwise, except the person gives his or her life to Christ sha.

Best comment i've seen so far. The foundation was weak - very weak and it is no surprise this is happening. You had a misunderstanding and she found herself in the hands of another man. So technically, she's been cheating since the dating phase and one thing i can never tolerate in this life is a cheating woman. As she won't only destroy herself, she'll end up destroying you the man in the end.

I feel you should have considered her fidelity level before going ahead to marry. The hardest thing to find these days is a partner that is faithful or loyal - forget friendship, beauty, intelligence etc. Sex is now being thrown around like a confetti. The rate at which women (married and single but in a relationship) are cheating these days is mind boggling. In fact, they now cheat more than the men, they are just smoother in the game.

As one of the commenters earlier said, track her and make sure she's caught red handed, then send her packing. If she can cheat on you, she can kill you. And trust me, cheaters don't change, they only evolve.

the fact that you have kids is the only thing there if not ... I for advice you to free her ..so I would say focus on your kids and also remember NO HUMAN BEING is worth your happiness!

also without knowing you I can guess you are a predictable guy ... daddy daddy good guy guy ....women hate that shit... become unpredictable for a change ..

women are fixers they love to fix things ... give her something to fix... start having female friends ... don't cheat but hang with em ... come home and leave unexpectedly with a " I am coming " cruise and even if she asks where you dey go just keep saying the same shit haha .. it starts to mess with her mind and she go dey try figure you out .. you son give am work be that ......

kai this ogogoro strong oooo 43 %

when where was I ... my brother the lord is your strong.

.....further mathematics

Marriage is a sin... say no to marriage!!!

Collins4u1:
Use whatsapp spy on her whatsapp. Since u can view her chats. Send me a pm lemme put u through asap

Op. Do this and get the evidence you seek.

Well well well

What do we have here?



My candid advice is for you to start using protection

Be unpredictable

Do things without her knowledge

If possible, become a detective agent whenever you suspect she's going to see someone for fun(u understand) catch her red handed...

For me

Once I see otherwise like messages etc,I go dey at alert, I fit stop bleeping her and eating her food cause it's an abomination in my place,and one can fall sick..... if ur woman is cheating,you will know through series of warnings mostly sickness and financial problems etc but if u continue eating her food and sex it can result to death...... IGBOS IN THE HOUSE CAN RELATE...(umuaka)

Some traditions is the woman that is affected.....


Am PROUDLY NWOKE OKIJA

IGBO AMAKA
OKIJA ATOKA

Op let her go, fidelity will kill neither u or her, let her go, let it rest.

JerryLekki:
Uncle sir, You are in an open marriage. There is nothing wrong with it. Except your notion that you must not accept it. Probably programmed into you.


Oya, come and swear that since you married, you have not had something with another person. Especially in that university environment that you claim to hustle. Bros, come off it. There are things bigger than your ego

Rubbish!!

Ọde

shortgun:
I don't know how u guys manage to live with a cheating wife...ur life is always at risk if u live with a woman that can give herself to another man without blinking.
I feel like to beat the hell out of you from here

Be a man and take charge of ur home....seize her phone and get the password, use force if necessary.

Thank You jare.
These are the type of person i can give my daughter for marriage not peope.....

Maybe u could encourage her to use FIDELITY BANK.

DonBenny77:
Chai, sorry man.
To marry no hungry me again sef.....

I am considering to wait some more and see if this girl's would change or not before I reconsider marriage again o

frozen70:


Honestly, it's not a good experience to.have your wife date another man, men should just avoid anything that will lead her to such life Beyonce they test it out side ,it takes the grace of God to bring her back

Just keep monitoring her until you catch her and that is if you can catch her

Live your life and don't allow her attitude lead you to depression

Every man must make sure his wife doesn't need another man, if her problem is love give her enough, if it's sex give her enough, if it's care give her and if it's attention give it to her

Dont just give her room to get it else where because she will definitely get a better one than yours

All this type of advice. Please my brother, watch and pray. A wife that can cheat on you can kill you.

JerryLekki:
Uncle sir, You are in an open marriage. There is nothing wrong with it. Except your notion that you must not accept it. Probably programmed into you.


Oya, come and swear that since you married, you have not had something with another person. Especially in that university environment that you claim to hustle. Bros, come off it. There are things bigger than your ego

Are you in an Open Marriage too?

Palema007:
Your foundation was faulty. While dating/courting she got intimate with a guy, you guys settled and got married. Did you make sure she cut off the guy before marrying her?

See, while I try as much as possible to be forgiving, two things I don't take is betrayal and cheating. While I may let go of the former with precautions i cant the latter. Cheats don't change! Let no one tell you otherwise, except the person gives his or her life to Christ sha.

make e use magun op no gree . that's to tell her family that there daughter is a cheat .

bukatyne:


Flat mates seems to have better relationship and bond than the couples of today.

Issa lie!