Home is where you make your bed! It might be on the moon if you are happy! Nigeria is not for everybody and outside Nigeria is not for everybody!

@poster

first of all congratulations on your new job. often times it seems that when a good thing happens to you it becomes a bad thing.
its not often that plum jobs come our way.
as a wife and mother, ive been there. oh my God i cant even begin to describe to you the way guilt will rip your heart out. i wont go into details but i can tell you this, whichever decision you make wont be easy. its either you pick the job and improve your lot and be apart from your family or you decline the job offer and live with your family in not- too -good living situations which wont make you feel better either. isnt the whole essence of life to make life better for our children than the lives we had growing up?

being apart from your children will be anguish. add to that the doubt that nay sayers will sprinkle into your head about your husband's fidelity. (there will always be people who think they know your business more than you)
at the end of the day, you know your husband, you know your family, you know your situation.

have you guys reconsidered your husband relocating? sometimes the person who earns less may have to make adjustments afterall its not everyday one's spouse lands an oil job. . ( some will scream that its not a manly thing to do but its between you two and people can talk all they want)
how soon after you start can you ask for a transfer to abuja? have you talked to HR?

so what if your husband has to look after the kinds while you are gone? (if you decide to go). i believe a man is as capable of holding down the forte as women are. often times we underestimate the devotion men have to their families and children.

families are supposed to live together. protracted seperations are not the best but at the end of the day it boils down to compromise.as long as you work out an arrangement that will work for the family you dont owe anyone any explanations.

my opinion which is debatable is that you should accept the job. work something out. shuttling for a while wont hurt, though it may be expensive. make the best of your weekends. weekends no cell phones,no interlopers.its family time. that is not negotiable. your husband is supportive( that's the jackpot right there!) many husbands arent.

@ topic,you are feeling thios way cos you've not started yet. I bet you when you start in ernest it won't be as bad as you think.
I know of a colleague doing thesame,sure it's stressfull but it's really working.Try it and ask for transfer atfer a while.
Goodluck

spoilt:

@poster

my opinion which is debatable is that you should accept the job. work something out. shuttling for a while wont hurt, though it may be expensive. make the best of your weekends. weekends no cell phones,no interlopers.its family time. that is not negotiable. your husband is supportive( that's the jackpot right there!) many husbands arent.

u too get sense!

Everbright:

@ topic,you are feeling thios way because you've not started yet. I bet you when you start in ernest it won't be as bad as you think.
I know of a colleague doing thesame,sure it's stressfull but it's really working.Try it and ask for transfer atfer a while.
Goodluck

good talk!
obviously everybody here knows the real world and how it works, except militia!babe,get a life.

Nicer:

obviously everybody here knows the real world and how it works, except militia![/b]babe,get a life.

Thank you oh!  Please advise this slacker-husband-layabout-fake-businessman wan-na-bee- so-called "head of the household" to go find ways to feed his family and stop making stupid excuses!  If the woman did not have children, he probably could be one of those husbands that would have taken another wife within one year if not before marriage!

As for my life?  Don't worry about that!  I get husband wey dey work!  Go and get yours and stop looking for a woman to [b]"nurse" you!

MILITIA:

Please advise this slacker-husband-layabout-fake-businessman wan-na-bee- so-called "head of the household" to go find ways to feed his family and stop making stupid excuses!
As for my life? Don't worry about that! I get husband wey dey work! Go and get yours and stop looking for a woman to "nurse" you!

lol! go go girl

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