Oizee:
he shouldn't send his daughter to anybody, instead enroll d child in boarding school and during holidays when d man might not be home, he should make d girl spend her holiday with Grandma or whoever, but dat step daughter must not near dat home again also.
The girl will surely mature by his grace and by d time she finish sec sch and preparing for tertiary sch, d woman won't be able to mistreat her anymore.

Some girls are naive irrespective of their age! I've seen a woman who maltreats her 20yrs old maid yet she still live with them till today

Ginaz:


What am I doing ? Is something wrong with your head?

You'll soon be exposed here on nl

YoungDaNaval:
You'll soon be exposed here on nl

Something is wrong with your head this morning.. Exposed for what exactly? Are you insane ?

Ginaz:


Something is wrong with your head this morning.. Exposed for what exactly? Are you insane ?

Really? Lemme call someone that'll do the dirty job for me. I pity you girl

YoungDaNaval:
Really? Lemme call someone that'll do the dirty job for me. I pity you girl

Which dirty job? If you have something to say why don’t you do it yourself ? Your head is not correct and I will repeat it over and over a thousand times.

Ginaz:


Which dirty job? If you have something to say why don’t you do it yourself ? Your head is not correct and I will repeat it over and over a thousand times.

Watch out

YoungDaNaval:
Watch out

Kindly go get a life . It’s an advice o. Cos you have none .

Ginaz:


Kindly go get a life . It’s an advice o. Cos you have none .

You'll hear from me soon

YoungDaNaval:
You'll hear from me soon

Am I running away? Did I do anything bad to run away? So I’m waiting o cos you have no sense .

If I’ve done anything I would be scared but I haven’t so I will wait and your life would be cut short if I never did anything in Jesus name .

Ginaz:


Am I running away? Did I do anything bad to run away? So I’m waiting o cos you have no sense .

If I’ve done anything I would be scared but I haven’t so I will wait and your life would be cut short if I never did anything in Jesus name .

Is that a threat?

YoungDaNaval:
Is that a threat?

I said your life would be cut short if I never did anything to you or done anything you wanted to spur up in Jesus name .

Becareful who you talk to cos some people have innocence that is spiritual and in my innocence of heart and spirit that I am in this morning on my own before you came with your troubles, your life will be cut short if I didn’t do anything.

Ginaz:


I said your life would be cut short if I never did anything to you or done anything you wanted to spur up in Jesus name .

Becareful who you talk to cos some people have innocence that is spiritual and in my innocence of heart and spirit that I am in this morning on my own before you came with your troubles, your life will be cut short if I didn’t do anything.

So you are innocent yet someone posted your nude on sexuality section some months ago and you came there wailing and threatening to report the moniker to your uncle if he doesn't take down the pix innocence kill you there!

I'm a widower.
I lost my wife 5 years ago and I'm with my 3 boys.
I had wanted to remarry at least someone that would help me in taking care of my boys.
BUT I THANK GOD SO MUCH FOR THE GRACE, KNOWLEDGE, WISDOM AND COURAGE TO JETTISON THE IDEA OF GETTING MARRIED AGAIN ATLEAST NOT IN THE NEAREST FUTURE.
BECAUSE I WILL PERSONALLY POISON ANY WOMAN THAT MALTREATS MY "3 WISE MEN".
WOMEN ARE NATURALLY INHUMAN TO THEIR STEP CHILDREN.
I've even had some heartbreaking experiences with some of my female friends.
Whatever we had ends the moment any one of them messes with my boys no matter the pleadings.
I don't play games with my children.
They and their well-being are more important to me than my life.
They're aged 13, 11 and 9.
I SO MUCH THANK GOD THAT I DIDN'T MAKE THAT DEADLY MISTAKE.


My brother@Op whatever decision and step you take ,
try and separate your daughter and her stepmother for her( your daughter) peace, well-being, safety and for your peace of mind as a man so that you don't die prematurely.
You can always take good care of your daughter from a distance.
Remove the evil eyes of that woman from her and give her the best training and comfort a father can give to her loving daughter.
That your step daughter must leave permanently.
Think and pray Bros.
God bless you.

YoungDaNaval:
So you are innocent yet someone posted your nude on sexuality section some months ago and you came there wailing and threatening to report the moniker to your uncle if he doesn't take down the pix innocence kill you there!

If he posted it why didn’t anyone screenshot it ? You see why I said you have no sense ?
If to say it’s true that someone posted my nudes Or I had anything to do with such character would I still be online ? Won’t I have dis activated my account? But cos I’m innocent and I never did anything with anyone I will still be online and post on threads .

I threaten him as a normal human being would do who ha been accused wrongly for something she never did . Your life would be cut short . In my innocence I would repeat that .

The stupid man has accused people too not just me .

Thank God fellow nairalanders screenshot the thread. They were the ones who posted them and fought for my name to be cleaned . I didn’t beg nobody. You can ask them .

This below was the thread the fadedvoices2 called me out for something I knew absolutely nothing about .
A fellow Nairalander sent this to clear my name

Ginaz:


If he posted it why didn’t anyone screenshot it ? You see why I said you have no sense ?
If to say it’s true that someone posted my nudes Or I had anything to do with such character would I still be online ? Won’t I have dis activated my account? But cos I’m innocent and I never did anything with anyone I will still be online and post on threads .

I threaten him as a normal human being would do who ha been accused wrongly for something she never did . Your life would be cut short . In my innocence I would repeat that .

The stupid man has accused people too not just me .

Shut up and stop lying. I screenshot it. I'll open a thread for it asap. You're finish

When an idiot like you brought this up to to accused me and shamed themselves not me, a fellow Nairalander took note of it and defended me of my innocence.

You will never know peace in your life .

YoungDaNaval:
Shut up and stop lying. I screenshot it. I'll open a thread for it asap. You're finish

I’m waiting o. . Do it fast and be quick with it .

If I’m innocent, your life will be cut short in Jesus mighty name .

My brother ur plan is good. Send that beast out of ur home as soon as possible if u love ur daughter n wants her alive. Make sure that beast of ur wife don't take away ur kids becos u married her legally. Ur kids are yours. Let her leave, u can take good care of your children simple as that

.

Sapore:
For your sake, I created this handle to reply you. I have a slightly similar experience but not to your level. My wife died at childbirth too, but the baby survived. I remarried sometime later however I was very careful to avoid marrying any woman already having children, whether a widow or otherwise, to avoid exactly the problem you are facing now- not that there were no suitable candidates. Inspite of that, for a good while, my wife who is actually a good god fearing woman several times used very bad words to me about my children. I can not explain it really. She cares for them, takes care of them and loves them, but in the early days, did not trust that they truly appreciated her as a new mother. She would be very free with the smaller ones but felt the older ones did not accept her - which was not really true. They may not have been lapping at her, but they respected her because I made it clear they had to do that. No matter what I did, to assure my wife that she was only imagining things, it did not help. Nevertheless during those word-fights, i did not hesitate to make it absolutely clear to my wife that I will not tolerate emotional abuse or otherwise of my children, while at the same time i disciplined my children thoroughly whenever i found them culpable. Non of the two parties could justly accuse me of partiality. I fiercely defended my children against my wife and sternly disciplined my children in her presence when they were guilty of any grievous misdemeanor.

My saving grace is that my wife is actually godly. if not, i would have been in big soup. Over time, we both learned to avoid what will provoke each other. She knew clearly that unjustified accusations (even if she felt they were justified) against my children will never fly with me. i will defend them to the last blood, because , their mother is late. If i allow them feel in the slightest, that they have lost me too, it will be a disaster for them. So till now, they are very close to me and I am actually both their friend and father. So my wife, on learning that such things wont work with me, so as not to loose me too, she also decided to back down, to let peace reign. Gradually she has become more relatable with the older children, but due to her own nature, a fairly reserved one, there is a limit she can go. But what is certain, she cares for the children but i do not know where that misconception initially was coming from. So today, we live in peace, everyone carefully honouring and respecting boundaries. Since then word-fights between the two of us have practically gone.

From your description, something similar may be playing out in your home. Unfortunately, the person who has one of the main keys to keep that family in peace together is your wife. If she is not godly enough to recognise her home is about to be torn apart, there will be problem. Its unfortunate you did not anticipate sibling problem coming. It was naive of you. Now the deed is already done. Bitter words have already been spoken that can never be forgotten even if forgiven. Its painful.

What you must not do, is to not send ANY of your children from your late wife away. Never never never ever try it. Those childrens' spirit will die and they will become what you will regret you ever gave birth to. Similarly, as i said, the deed is already done, YOU CANNOT SEND YOUR STEP DAUGHTER AWAY ALSO. There is nothing you can do on that. You all have to stay in the house and slug it out. But here is my counsel: Since I can not tell how godly your wife is, she is angry now, and angry women can say and do terrible things. bring your step daughter back. apologise for ever calling her a bastard child - that was terrible of you. i know you were angry, i have said terrible things too when i and my wife quarrelled because of the children, but the thing is , I knew what i said was bad. So you MUST apologise for those terrible words. comfort all parties, wife, step daughter and your daughter. Resolve between you and your wife to stop saying "my children" "your daughter". That must stop. The final and the most crucial aspect of solving the problem in your home - you need to bring in somebody else to stay in your house to act as a check to your step daughter, since your wife can not be trusted to do a good job of that. Somebody she has to fear and respect. Maybe your mother, or sister or aunty, someone you trust that will not come and add petrol to the fire - a female family member. Someone that, as long as your step daughter knows that person is around, she will restrain herself. Its a temporary measure but crucial one for now - very crucial, seeing you are not always at home. It needs to be somebody even your wife will restrain herself. This step will cause strain with your relationship with your wife. But you have to let her know she has not handled things properly, so this is the only way you can be sure of what is going on under your roof. She willbe bitter about it sha but na condition make crayfish bend. Just reassure her that it is a temporary measure. Only you know how long it will be...keep that to your chest.

This will buy you time to draw all parties closer to you. Win your step daughters love and respect while not depriving your own children. Hopefully, if they are normal human beings and not diabolical, things will get better. if however diabolism is involved, you need God to step in or else, even your life is at stake.

Thanks a lot for this VERY wise and objective counsel, but I doubt he will listen. He is in a dark place now and only thinking about himself and his daughter. Clearly still hurting from the death of his wife too . . . I don't expect him to be reasonable right now.

eyinjuege:


Don't change the narrative.
OPs wife never had any issues with his daughter and never mistreated her. He wrote clearly in his post that she loved his daughter same way he loved her own daughter. OP should be happy his wife has been looking after his child very well since she was that young at 4years.
It is obviously a case of 2 children fighting with one being much older and stronger.
I remember some fights with my older brothers when we were younger and I no dey gree with my mouth.
Even fights with our older househelp who beat the devil out of me in primary school . My mama no send am away o.
Talkmore of sending away someone with same right in the house.

The little girl's mother is dead, automatically she is a victim and will always be. Nobody cares anymore about the teenager who had her mother to herself all her life, and now has to share her and accept second class status in her own mother's house.

I actually feel sorry for the step mother, she can never win!

Klass99:
If it weren't for the younger children you have with your wife, I will say let that woman and her daughter go. In fact I will still say it, let her and her daughter go.

I felt a lot of irritation and annoyance towards your wife and her daughter, while reading through your post. They don't sound like good people at all

The way some women use their children as a bargaining chip or weapon during marital clashes, dey annoy me join sef. They act like they came by those children on their own and by themselves, without the hubby's input.

Leave them alone with those kids for three months only and you start to see their ineptitude when it comes to adequately clothing, feeding and paying other bills for the upkeep of those kids.

OP, you sef to slap you dey sweet me small. How did you allow relatives, pressure you into re-marrying for the sake of more children? You and your daughter were more than enough and you could have done things at your own pace and time, without family stressing you out.

Now that you have remarried with more kids, are you happier, healthier, wealthier or even full of joy/peace? Are those same relatives helping you pay bills like school fees?

@bold, the OP added six more people (second wife, her daughter, plus four kids they have together) to his list of responsibilities. He would have been better off with just his child. He could have still enjoyed companionship to some extent without marrying.

Where s Mariahangel & d male tap mouth?

.

mrNelsonT:
She loves his daughter but when he was away she was abusing her or allowing her daughter to abuse her . Is that ur idea of love? Love the kid in his face but torment her behind his back? . OP got to find out this time as a result of physical evidence, no one knows what else they've been doing to the kid before now, all these didn't just start today. In another part of the world her and her daughter would be arrested, no stories as nothing justifies physical assault on a child. She would be an accessory while the daughter gets charged as an adult.

OP's wife never beat that child and the wife can never be arrested for what she never did.
It is a case of 2 sisters fighting or at worst a bullying older sister which isn't as rare as you want to believe. They have all been living together for 6 years and the said older sister has been with that child since she was 4 years
The OP claimed to love his step daughter but threw her out at the first chance he got. When children fight, you as an adult should make things better and let them know why they can't do such.
The said girl can't even vote by law because of her age, and you want to judge her actions as an adult. That's not going to fly. OP should have settled that matter better.
And all that talk about paying her school fees, wasn't she in school before OP met her mother and turned her to a baby making factory wey dey born every year? 4 children in 6 years!!! Perhaps she born triplet too sha.
Anyway, OP should settle the matter with his family members. There are ways to settle rivalry between siblings and even make them best friends and what he did isn't the right way. He's only further worsened things

YoungDaNaval:
Shut up and stop lying. I screenshot it. I'll open a thread for it asap. You're finish

You this goat , I’ve been waiting for your thread since morning or have you died ? You lying piece of trash . You think you can just come up and accused someone wrong and go like that?

Show us the screenshot you did . We are waiting. Nairaland is waiting for your thread .

Proof he can’t bring but can run his dirty mouth . I don’t blame you, it’s fadedvoices2 the psycho that has made every nonexistent things to be calling me out for what I never did .

I’m waiting o. My hands are clean so I am waiting . Abi you’re dead already?

decatalyst:


I agree with these points.

@Op, you are the man and you know what's best for you. If she wants to leave, let her leave! Living with an unreasonable woman can be hell on earth.

Your daughter must not leave your house or vicinity. I pray she doesn't harm her though.

Call for a family meeting and let them know you are ready to part ways with her if that's what will give you peace!

In between, you see why some people believe a "public asset" will never want to stay long in the private. You can not privatize them!

and what happens to the four little ones

Korllami007:


Leave them make dem defend child abuse. She loves his daughter but watched her own to brutalized his daughter, then cover it up when she was asked about the kid's swollen eyes. The man should act fast before they start dissecting his kid's body like we read on nairaland front page. Op will just come home one day and meet his daughter's fingers chopped off for stealing.

Finally a sensible, intelligent person. Tnks bro. Let 'em keep excusing punching a 10yo child in the face. Next time the woman n her daughter go break her leg or pour hot water on her and one yeye person go still say they love the child. Make somebody punch her child give am black eye let's see if she go talk same. People can open mouth give advice they cannot take. It's the child and the psychological n physical effects all these will have on her am most concerned abt but op's the father. I've said enough to him, it's up to him to do right by the kid now.

DimplesLikeWow:
1. Props to you for standing up for your 10-year old daughter.

2. Your 10-year old daughter should not go anywhere!

3. Your wife is just as violent as her 17-year old daughter who punched your 10-year old daughter in the face.

It's a pity he fell for a jealous woman who must also be a stark illiterate.. She must have hidden her bad attitude very well while they courted.

That woman can rope him o...

She and her daughter could disguise and accuse him of wanting to rape the step daughter