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Which Should Take Precedence – Getting Married Or Spending On His Parents? - Islam for Muslims - Nairaland

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Which Should Take Precedence – Getting Married Or Spending On His Parents? by Realismailakabir: 12:46am On Oct 30, 2020
Praise be to Allah.

Firstly:

If the land belongs to you, and you fear that you may fall into zina, then getting married is obligatory in your case, and if you cannot afford to get married except by selling this land, then you should sell it, because in that case getting married takes precedence over spending on your parents.

To explain further:

1.

Marriage is obligatory for the one who is able to get married and fears that he may commit zina otherwise.

What is meant by being able to get married is being able to afford the costs of marriage, and what he will spend on his wife.

If he is unable to do that, then he should be patient and fast a great deal, as Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): “But let them who find not [the means for] marriage abstain [from sexual relations] until Allah enriches them from His bounty” [an-Noor 24:33].  And the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married. And whoever cannot afford it, let him fast, for it will be a shield for him.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5065) and Muslim (1400).

See also the answer to question no. 5511.

2.

The individual is obliged to spend on his parents, if they are poor and he is rich. If he is also poor, then he is not obliged to spend on them.

See the answer to question no. 111892.

3.

If we assume that it is obligatory for a person to spend on his parents, if that conflicts with him getting married in a case where marriage is obligatory for him, then he should give precedence to getting married, because getting married is included in spending on himself, which takes precedence over spending on his parents, just as his spending on his wife takes precedence over his spending on his parents.

It says in Kashshaaf al-Qinaa‘ (5/483):

The one who does not have enough to spend on all of those on whom he is obliged to spend should start with spending on himself, because of the hadith “Start with yourself.”

If he has enough surplus wealth to spend on one or more other people, he should start with his wife, because that it comes under the heading of maintenance in return for something, so it takes precedence over help that the husband may give to others. Hence it is obligatory whether one is well-off or otherwise. Then (in order of who is entitled to maintenance from him) comes his slave,on whom it is obligatory for him to spend at times of ease and of hardship.  Then comes the next closest to him and the next closest, because of the hadith of Taariq al-Muhaaribi: “Start with those for whose maintenance you are responsible, your mother and your father, and your sister and your brother, then the next closest and the next closest, because spending (on your dependents) comes under the heading up upholding ties of kinship and showing kindness.” And the one who is closer to you is more entitled to that than the one who is further away from you. End quote.

Our advice is to try to do both, get married and spend on your parents, by keeping some of the land, and being economical in spending on marriage, and looking for a wife who is religiously committed and not demanding, who will be content with little.

See the answer to question no. 223075.

If marriage is not obligatory in your case, and the land is sufficient for your maintenance and that of your parents, then it is not permissible to sell it, because in that case it is obligatory for you to spend on them whilst it is not obligatory for you to get married.

Secondly:

If the land belongs to your parents, or one of them, then it can only be disposed of with the permission of its owner.

And Allah knows best.

https://islamqa.info/en/answers/290232/which-should-take-precedence-getting-married-or-spending-on-his-parents
Re: Which Should Take Precedence – Getting Married Or Spending On His Parents? by AntiChristian: 6:38am On Oct 30, 2020
Islam is easy and rational! So lovely!
Re: Which Should Take Precedence – Getting Married Or Spending On His Parents? by Realismailakabir: 12:24am On Nov 01, 2020
Note that in islam, parents have the highest honour after Allah and his Apostle and there are many proofs to this in Quran and Hadith. But with all this honours and venerations that Allah has commanded us to accord to our parents, we, our wives, and children come first according to Quran and hadith in terms of financial aid (especially limited resources) because it equals to spending on ourself. But in a matter that can lead us to a grave sin such as fornication (Zina) we have to give precedence to Marriage, as long as the the care-taking of the parent is not an urgent matter such as sickness etc. Below are Quran verses and hadith about 'Parent'.
Re: Which Should Take Precedence – Getting Married Or Spending On His Parents? by Realismailakabir: 12:24am On Nov 01, 2020
Q.46.15
And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning [period] is thirty months. [He grows] until, when he reaches maturity and reaches [the age of] forty years, he says, "My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to work righteousness of which You will approve and make righteous for me my offspring. Indeed, I have repented to You, and indeed, I am of the Muslims."
Re: Which Should Take Precedence – Getting Married Or Spending On His Parents? by Realismailakabir: 12:25am On Nov 01, 2020
Q.17.23
And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.
Re: Which Should Take Precedence – Getting Married Or Spending On His Parents? by Realismailakabir: 12:25am On Nov 01, 2020
Hadith

وَعَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ ‏- رضى الله عنه ‏- قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اَللَّهِ ‏- صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏-{

لَا يَجْزِي وَلَدٌ وَالِدَهُ, إِلَّا أَنْ يَجِدَهُ مَمْلُوكًا فَيُعْتِقَهُ"

} رَوَاهُ مُسْلِم ٌ 1‏ ‏

Abu Hurairah (RAA), narrated that The Messenger of Allah said, "A son cannot ever repay his parents what he owes them, unless he finds them in slavery, then buys them and emancipates them." Related by Muslim.
Re: Which Should Take Precedence – Getting Married Or Spending On His Parents? by Realismailakabir: 12:44am On Nov 01, 2020
I heard Abi Amr 'Ash-Shaibani saying, "The owner of this house." he pointed to 'Abdullah's house, "said, 'I asked the Prophet 'Which deed is loved most by Allah?" He replied, 'To offer prayers at their early (very first) stated times.' " 'Abdullah asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" The Prophet said, "To be good and dutiful to one's parents," 'Abdullah asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" The Prophet said, To participate in Jihad for Allah's Cause." 'Abdullah added, "The Prophet narrated to me these three things, and if I had asked more, he would have told me more."

Volume 8, Book 73, Number 2:
Re: Which Should Take Precedence – Getting Married Or Spending On His Parents? by Realismailakabir: 12:46am On Nov 01, 2020
Volume 8, Book 73, Number 6: Narrated Al-Mughira: The Prophet said, "Allah has forbidden you ( 1 ) to be undutiful to your mothers (2) to withhold (what you should give) or (3) demand (what you do not deserve), and (4) to bury your daughters alive. And Allah has disliked that (A) you talk too much about others ( B), ask too many questions (in religion), or (C) waste your property."
Re: Which Should Take Precedence – Getting Married Or Spending On His Parents? by advocatejare(m): 10:56am On Nov 05, 2020
AntiChristian:
Islam is easy and rational! So lovely!

Islam is indeed rational like Muhammad said below

It was narrated that Abu Sa'eed Al-Khudri said:
"It was said: 'O Messenger of Allah, you perform Wudu' from the well into which the bodies of dogs, menstrual rags and garbage are thrown?' He said: 'Water is pure and it is not made impure by anything.'"
Grade : Hasan (Darussalam)
Reference : Sunan an-Nasa'i 326
In-book reference : Book 2, Hadith 2
English translation : Vol. 1, Book 2, Hadith 327

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