Gudday everybody

if this man cannot admit that he is wrong, WHEN HE IS, then you have a serious problem on your hands and you better solve it before going ahead with marriage. . . . . . unless you are ready to be always wrong for the rest of your life.

what kind of values is he gonna instill in your children thinking like he does? what kind of family will you guys have?

MrBrownJay is right.  If he is like this now and you have talked to him and his not willing to change his ways.  Then it's only going to get worse if you do decide to proceed with this wedding.  Have you two tried pre-marital counseling?  Would he be willing to at least try that first? For a person who is irresponsible and immature who is not man enough to take responsibility for his actions is someone you may want to reconsider marrying him right now.  This is only if, he is set in his ways and not going to change at all.  Then on top of that to disrespect you like you are a child. 

I would highly advise seeking God and praying for wisdom and direction at this point.  Because like MrBrownJay said, what kind of example will he and YOU for allowing it, to set for your child/children if you plan to have any in the future.  No one deserves to be treated like that.  Mutual love, respect, open communication and trust is pertinent in a relationship.

Poster,

I am going to give it to you STRAIGHT what a man do BEFORE MARRIAGE will be the EXACT SAME THING he will do AFTER MARRIAGE. Trust me.

I am ONLY saying MAN because the poster is straight therefore I am advising her to seek her INNER SPIRIT which is the holy spirit. BUT if you are not a believer nor spiritual than me advising you to seek the holy spirit is like asking a crackhead not to smoke crack. Okay bad analogy but you get my point.

Just use common sense and know that if you can't deal with whatever he is doing that YOU DO NOT APPROVE of then take the time to reevaluate the situation. There is nothing wrong with taking things slow. Rushing into things when there are RED FLAGS FLARING is a bad omen. Do not be twisted by the mere thought of someone giving you attention but BAD ATTENTION is not healthy.

You deserve someone that will treat you with respect and honor you as a wife of his throne and not someone that treats you like his baby sister or house maid. Remember your self worth is more than diamonds claim it and prosper.

Good luck.

Tanx

A

Temmysexy1:

Hi happy sunday 2 u all.thanks 2 u guys dt had sent in your advice,i think he is ready 2 change because i had a serious fight wit him dt almost separate us n i told him if we continue lyk this,we r getting no where.so by monday we r having a heart 2 heart discussion. He told me i dont respect him,which he is the cause because i wasnt lyk dt when we started d relationship.pls send in more advice on what 2 do.thanks

Do you have somethings that he does not have like; financial resources, education or professional accomplishment that he lacks? This may be what he is trying to compensate for with his overbearing behaviour.

If such a situation exists try to assure him that you truly love and respect him irrespective of what he has (or does not have). If you do not resolve this, you may end-up marrying the wrong man (God forbid).

Temmysexy1:

Hi happy sunday 2 u all.thanks 2 u guys dt had sent in your advice,i think he is ready 2 change because i had a serious fight wit him dt almost separate us n i told him if we continue lyk this,we r getting no where.so by monday we r having a heart 2 heart discussion.he told me i dont respect him,which he is the cause because i wasnt lyk dt when we started d relationship.pls send in more advice on what 2 do.thanks

first of all, may i ask what kind of ¨lack of respect¨he is talking about?! just because he is the way he is doesnt warrant for losing respect for this man. you guys have issues but putting more issues on top of them is not gonna help.

as for monday, simply tell him exactly what you DONT want him to do and how you DONT want to be treated. explain to him in a simple manner how he acts like your views do not matter (or are irrelevant) and how he always want to be right even when he isnt and that this is not beneficial to your r/ship. also i suggest you bring everything else (thats bothering you) on the table.

Hi,thank u all 4 ur gud contribution,we had resolved d issue,he promise 2 change n i wil be more prayerful than b4 for GOD ALMIGHTY 2 take control.once again thanks.hav a gud nite rest.

Praying will not solve anything for u. God will not come down and change the the man.U have to look for a different approach in handling issues.If u want someone to change try changing urself when u change in ur manner of approaching issues den d person will change or else u will continue with d same problem. U have u 2 choose ur battles, don't fuss over every little thing, don't bring up touchy issues at inappropriate time, like wen he is tired , in a bad mood or just came back from work. Try to control ur tongue, don't be abusive and rude, when you have a discussion let him make his point, try to listen or act as if u are listening, don't interrupt den when he finishes politely bring in ur suggestion. Always try 2 complement him and agree sometimes with him. I think d problem is ur fiance feels u are trying to control him so he is being stubborn. Don't try 2 force him to agree with u. It does not have 2 always be ur way try 2 compromise 2.

Na wa oo --- what about marriage counseling?

You mean "dating" counseling?

Oh my sista(iv4real)d way u reply 2 d above shows dt u r married. thank u n may GOD bless u,ur comment is very mature.i think am d first person 2 change b4 talking abt him. he said it yestaday dt i behave as if he is under my control.i must make use of ur advice if i must succeed in this race.once again thank u.u r too much.pls how can i get 2 know u more.this my gmail add: estee4real33@gmail.com

I am glad i can be of help 2 u. Marriage is wat u make out of it. U can choose to be happy or miserable. my email is ivy.pere@gmail.com

Gudday everybody, something had been bothering my mind that i can't keep them to myself any longer,the issues are

1.my fiance always claim right even when he is wrong n never take correction

2. He talks to me with authority as if am his younger sister, these  issues always cause misunderstanding btw us everytime, apart from  those two issues he is the caring type,have talk to him about it but no changes and our marriage is fast approaching.i dont know what to do.pls mature advice is needed.thanks.

What?
You say wetin?

Most African men are like that. Just the nature of their upbringings to be 'bullies', like their parents did to them all in the name of discipline and African 'ido-bale', respect-your-elders-and-eat-shyte syndrome. Very buuuuuuuuuush! Every tin na gra-gra!

Wharra you talking about? Who is the boss in the bedroom?
So when he is on top of you or you are on top of him in the bedroom. . . he is always right too? Abi you still feel like his 'junior sister' too?
So do you call him 'broda' or do you say 'yessir' when you are in the bedroom.


Arrrrrrrrrrrantus Nonsensicus!

I think you need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your mom . . .as kpe 'how to set leg' for bed to take 'trap monkey'.

Be patient.
Get married first.
Have your children
Get a good job. . . then deal with his arzzzzze!

You will have him eating from your palms soon.

You work has not yet started. Good news? They are ALL like that. Controlling and authoritative.

Women have not really gained much socio-economic strides especially inside Africa.

I hope you live abroad? You will have a lot of help from your foreign sisters who know who to deal with the 'African' man syndrome real goooood!

Be patient sistah. . . you have a lot of work to do.

Tighten ya 'bellit' o! There is war in front!

Aya di o!

Sorry darling. . . a man is only always right before marriage. . . After marriage, the woman is always right.

Be patient please. . . !!! You go soon 'corner' am!

Please, stay focused. They are ALL like that. . . You just have to learn to be 'diplomatically assertive' without killing him.

Hi guys,i just want 2 thank all of u 4 ur contribution during my tym of trial.there is improvement in my relationship because i had changed my attitude by been a good wife material n him on his own part had change.i think we r getting along fine.once again thank u n GOD bless.

My urgent advise is that u shld let him know there are 2 reasons pendn before u can say yes to him officially. Let him start a reconstruction process on this bad habits now. But if he promises not to change,wouldn't u rather get him changed

Thank u all,i think there is some changes now.

Happy married life!