Hi, am new here and i need ur advice.
I was molested wen i was 6 by aunts husband 2geda wit my my younger sis. We were treatend not 2 talk 2 our parents abt it. But told our parents afta sometime. My family been very strict we were very secretive 4rm very tender age. Since den we bcam lesbian but no one knws abt it.
Now we are in diff universities. Though av a bf bt dosnt knw am a les. And av able 2 do without d les thing 4 more dan a year nw. Dnt wanna b a les anymore,working 2ward it if i can. But seriously am worried abt my sis cos i dnw want her 2 continue with it and we no longer talk abt our les life anymore.
Pls i'll truly appreciate ur advice tanx.

its tru wat the poster has said. You should not just link the lesbo thing to the abuse. However, in cases like that it opens up your eyes to things you wouldnt have known about till you were older and makes you curious. Also as a child your mind doesnt fully know right from wrong and u havent grown yet to appreciate a man so it might make u attempt to quench your curiosity with girls. Also i think its also easier for younger aged girls to play about with girls since it may feel more comfortable than boys which you are not yet used to. But it doesnt mean you are a lesbian. It is also common for girls to play around with each other as teenagers they later outgrow it it is just curiosity. You can discuss it with your sister if you like and find out how she feels about the situation. She might have moved on long ago and doesnt even consider herself a lesbian. As for you are you attracted to women as of now?

pls pardon my side comment:

@ waterworks, 'Gals wanna chop, Guys wanna phock. . . First to drop na Mugu. . .'

Inked_Nerd:


I'm sorry to hear that you and your sister were molested but I don't think you should assume that that's why you're a lesbian. If you are a lesbian, then suppressing your feelings will get you nowhere. You say you don't wanna be a lesbian anymore--that's almost like you're saying your choosing which orientation you want to take up. If your bisexual now then there are two possibilities, you probably were never a lesbian to begin with or you're just coming into your sexuality [which are both fine]. I wanna ask you something. . . When you say "Dnt wanna b a les anymore", are you saying that because you just don't have feelings pertaining to being a lesbian or because you're feeling social pressure? As for your sister, you don't have any right to try to dictate her sexual orientation just because it may not sought you. What exactly is it about her that you're worried about?

From what I've read, it seems like you and your sister may still be suffering from the effects of being molested. Once again, I really am sorry to hear that both you and molested .

Are you bloody MOLESTING my testis now?
What sort of fc.uked up advice is this! Its OK to be a lesbian when SHE DOESN'T WANT TO BE A LESBIAN. How the heck is that any help to her situation!
@poster, you are not alone. Situations like this are almost everywhere, I have a similar problem but I know that discussing it with close people who understand and don't criticize my stance helps a lot. It also helps when you are away from a source of temptation, don't get caught up in the so-called 'liberal' agenda that tells you to embrace what you consider a vice. We all battle addictions everyday in one way or another, the key thing is to keep our heads above water and focus on our goal. Even though this sounds corny it helps so much; try to close the molestation chapter in your life, forgive or use revenge but get the experience out your system. Make sure you can talk and think about it in not just the past tense, but the closed tense.

my prayers are with u as u pull thru this.
bear in mind one simple question: am i ready to live with the consequences of my y/day's n today's actions?
being bisexual today has consequences u must be prepared to live with tomorrow.
i hate when friend(fiends?) give advice as though there are no price to pay tomorrow for every decision u take today.
do u hope to settle down tomorrow with a stable/normal husband n normal kids?
the ansa to this question n the reproach u may or may not bring ur family from ur personal decision should help u i guess.
onosbongos
warri,08037893919.
onosbongos@yahoo.com

Inked_Nerd:


I'm sorry to hear that you and your sister were molested but I don't think you should assume that that's why you're a lesbian. If you are a lesbian, then suppressing your feelings will get you nowhere. You say you don't wanna be a lesbian anymore--that's almost like you're saying your choosing which orientation you want to take up. If your bisexual now then there are two possibilities, you probably were never a lesbian to begin with or you're just coming into your sexuality [which are both fine]. I wanna ask you something. . . When you say "Dnt wanna b a les anymore", are you saying that because you just don't have feelings pertaining to being a lesbian or because you're feeling social pressure? As for your sister, you don't have any right to try to dictate her sexual orientation just because it may not sought you. What exactly is it about her that you're worried about?

From what I've read, it seems like you and your sister may still be suffering from the effects of being molested. Once again, I really am sorry to hear that both you and molested .

Rubbish from Inked Nerd. Abeg poster leave am. It is a choice not some disease as people like InkedNerd want us to believe. Next thing you will be telling us that people are born and wired to want to eat bird poo instead of bird meat.

oshioluv:

Hi, am new here and i need your advice.
I was molested wen i was 6 by aunts husband 2geda wit my my younger sis. We were treatend not 2 talk 2 our parents abt it. But told our parents afta sometime. My family been very strict we were very secretive 4rm very tender age. Since den we bcam lesbian but no one knws abt it.
Now we are in diff universities. Though av a bf bt dosnt knw am a les. And av able 2 do without d les thing 4 more dan a year nw. Dnt wanna b a les anymore,working 2ward it if i can. But seriously am worried abt my sis cos i dnw want her 2 continue with it and we no longer talk abt our les life anymore.
Pls i'll truly appreciate your advice tanx.

Check out the link below to find out what happened to you the moment you got molested and what you can do to be free.

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1070/1070_01.asp

I'm amazed @ d very sick responses here to d poster. St. Paul says when people turn from d Lord he allows dem to be given in to their perverse and sick desires. Scientifically hasn't it been proven dat children dat were abused turn out to be gays? Ops, I'll like to tell u dat God still loves U & dat if u turn away as u have done he accepts u back just as in d story of d shepherd dat leaves his 99 sheep in search of d one lost. I can however tell u dat U'll struggle & battle with dat sin if d Holy Spirit isnt with U. U can get strength to come against any devices of d devil if & only if u turn 2 d Lord Jesus. As someone dat battled something similar I feel I'm in d best position to advice u. U'll realise dat ur human effort 2 stop a bad habit comes to fruition but I can tell u 4rm experience dat if u genuinely accept d Lord Jesus Christ as ur Lord, master & saviour then U'll kiss dis perverse habit goodbye. St. John says those that have the Holy Spirit cannot sin. Trust me U'll be surprised @ d miracle of confession & submission 2 God. Ur apprehension towards ur sister is good but save urself so dat u can save others. D children of this generation can never understand the things of d spirit unless d Holy Spirit is in you. Ask God @ all times in every situation ure in & he will always send u help. Accept him 2day & watch out 4 ur own personal story.

@poster
You are trying to live your life in the eyes of society, pretending that lesbianism is an addiction. Just because you pretend to be hetero doesn't change the facts at hand, YOU ARE A LESBIAN!
The minute you stop being ashamed of who you are and accept it, that's the day you will start living right.
I feel truly sorry for the guy you are dating or the puppet you will eventually marry out of peer pressure while fantasizing about women.
You can pretend/act/look hetero but deep down inside you will always remain a lesbian. Don't waste your time and others in worthless r/ship!

@Poster let no one struggling with his or her own sin tell u dats whom ure. Ure a vessel created specially by God 4 a purpose. Homosexuality is a sin. There are no medicines to it neither are there any solutions to it. The only solution is ur acceptance of christ. Genuinely accept him and seek him & watch dis lie of d devil leave U. Experience they say is d best teacher. When u accept God, trust me u don't need anybody to tell u u have become new. Please note dat d miracle of freedom from dis perverse habit might be immediate or gradual but build ur faith in him dat  has power over all things including all sins.

^^ are you saying that all the millions of pedo priest out there haven't accepted Christ yet? Lol

@oshioluv,

Whosoever the Son sets free is free indeed.

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1070/1070_01.asp

Inked_Nerd:


It being a matter of choice wasn't what I was trying to point out. If she's a lesbian then she's a lesbian, she can't help who she is that's why I said it was ok--if she truly is a lesbian, there is nothing wrong with her embracing her sexual orientation so please stop trying to misconstrue what I said.

Call it what you like. I never stated that homosexuality is a disease. You need to go and re-read what I wrote. Not once did I mention nor indicate that it was or is a disease. So what if she is a lesbian? Is that the end of the world? If your beliefs stem from religious propaganda then I suggest you leave that at the door because she [the OP] is clearing speaking from the perspective of an abused individual. She's suffered emotionally and psychologically and the last thing she needs in people here condemning her for something she has no control over.


Well said.

The last thing she needs is for you to be telling her it is normal. And what propaganda do your beliefs stem from, irreligious propaganda? Go and drink garri and stop typing rubbish.

U can pastor a church, be a  catholic priest, be a bishop, a TV evangelist whatever but if u haven't genuinely accepted christ all of those amount to nothing. Its just a post, a job. U become no different from any political office holder, counsellor etc. What ever name u call it, born-again, christian, catholic, Anglican, pentecostal whatever, if u haven't genuinely repented and accepted christ as ur personal saviour then ure irrelevant to the kingdom of God & u cannot be party to the things of d spirit.

As the bible says:"let he who has no sin cast the first stone"

oshioluv:

Hi, am new here and i need your advice.
I was molested wen i was 6 by aunts husband 2geda wit my my younger sis. We were treatend not 2 talk 2 our parents abt it. But told our parents afta sometime. My family been very strict we were very secretive 4rm very tender age. Since den we bcam lesbian but no one knws abt it.
Now we are in diff universities. Though av a bf bt dosnt knw am a les. And av able 2 do without d les thing 4 more dan a year nw. Dnt wanna b a les anymore,working 2ward it if i can. But seriously am worried abt my sis cos i dnw want her 2 continue with it and we no longer talk abt our les life anymore.
Pls i'll truly appreciate your advice tanx.

I think you were Never a lesbian . . .keyword THINK. Bisexual . .Yes,though I wud refer to u as a circumstantial bisexual.
You and you sister cos of the messed up life u were introduced to at that tender age simply found solace in each others arms,u guys developed a sort of weird sexual tension and emotions from the secret u guys share.
If I may ask,for the 1 year that u had no sexual relations with your sister or any other woman,were you sexually active with a man?
I also don't think you have to worry about your sister,shes an adult,old enough to make her own decisions.No one forced/coerced or advised you into changing your sexuality,what makes u think you can influence or change your sister  

The most you can do is to reject her advances IF she ever makes one .
Stuffs happen,people get messed up daily,it hurts and leaves a mark on the abused physiologically and emotionally but its best for the individual to decide to forget the past and move on.Perhaps, If your family had handled things differently,u and your sister wud not have this multiple sexuality disorder 

Can we all hold on with the bible flipping . . . .

Inked_Nerd:


So what makes her abnormal? Her pretending to be heterosexual is a better way for her to live her life? She's no different from you or I. As far as I'm concerned the only person typing rubbish here is you.

I am getting your logic now, it goes like this: "because it can happen and does happen, it must be acceptable." This is the twisted logic that is slowly making human beings worse than animals (whatever animals do, they can be forgiven, they do not have high intellect). Following from this logic, Inked_Nerd would probably say: "because stealing can happen and does happen, it is acceptable." If you say stealing is bad, please do not use the same argument to justify Lesbianism. It is bad. Let's call a spade a spade.

@maclatunji
How can you compare a criminal act with lesbianism?! You need help bro!

MRbrownJAY:

@maclatunji
How can you compare a criminal act with lesbianism?! You need help bro!

And who told you that stealing is bad or criminal?

hey, we all know what's good or not we have all been born with dat. Due 2 certain circumstances or events in our lives we have suppressed dese inherent qualities positively or negatively. We cannot continue to say because I know I'm a sinner I will not rebuke, advice, contradict or strongly oppose anything dat I know & being led by d spirit to be wrong or a sin.
Permit me to proffer an argument here. Wouldn't it be right to say that a new man that is a man born of d spirit redeemed by God doesn't have d right to say you have done wrong here? Isnt he new? If ure new isn't fair to say ure no longer a sinner. Afterall St Paul says when u accept christ then U'll become a new creature. Is a new creature classified with d old one? If my actions tell u I'm a new creature & u do something wrong say a sin isn't right to say uve sinned while U respect my judgement/assessment of dat matter? Will u feel like Afterall u do it so who are u to tell me I'm a sinner. When u are a new creature as d Holy Spirit gives u utterance u speak.

Inked_Nerd:


Look, follow whatever logic you like. What makes it bad since you seem to be so keen on telling me what's good and what's not good?

Your hand don dey fall small-small. It is bad because man is a social animal just like ants and bees. In fact, these two insects should provide the lower form of social organization. Alas! man has stooped so low that we have to learn from them.

Have you ever heard of the queen bee or ant sexually molesting her female workers because she is bigger or better? The answer, I am sure is no. It is against the benefit of the Queen bee or ant or that of their social unit to engage in such acts.

In the same way, it would be a social malaise if we allowed 1 person at a time to fulfill the urge of homosexual behaviour. What would we have? Falling population as more men would seek-out men and women would seek-out women.  Those who do not engage in this activity would then become outcasts as is gradually becoming the case in some western countries. Imagine, a mother would not be able to trust her daughter with a female teacher nor a father his son with his football coach.

Slowly but surely, the fabric of society would be destroyed all because we want to sound and feel liberal (when in actual fact it is stupidity). Allowing homosexuality to thrive in any society has similar effects to allowing wanton drug abuse, stealing or the use of brute force in settling disputes.  They all destroy societies and civilizations that engage in them.

Nobody will tell you this, but I am telling you now, one of the major causes of the fall of the Roman empire is homosexuality. When it got to a certain stage the Barbarians who remained true to human heterosexual nature overran them from almost all angles.

I am sure I cannot by myself enforce these notion on any human being. But with more people being like me and not like you, I am sure those notions would be enforced much in the same way that we enforce our notions legally on thieves, scammers and drug pushers. After all, they could argue that only the fittest survive in this Jungle that we call life, why punish them?

**subcribing**

look babe,good u,ve stop dat act 4 the period u said u did,i blive u can nw see 4 ur self dat it makes no sense 2 be les.nw the way 4word.u need embrace God.u need 2 b prayerful now because it is only the Grace of God that can keep u away frm such carnal abnormal act.4 ur sister u just need 2 talk 2 her as wel as make her feel the way u feel about the act and let her draw closer with u as u both pray to God 4 help.

Your hand don dey fall small-small. It is bad because man is a social animal just like ants and bees. In fact, these two insects should provide the lower form of social organization. Alas! man has stooped so low that we have to learn from them.
Have you ever heard of the queen bee or ant sexually molesting her female workers because she is bigger or better? The answer, I am sure is no. It is against the benefit of the Queen bee or ant or that of their social unit to engage in such acts.
-Hmm very interesting thought just like Jesus said we should go to d ants and learn their ways.

In the same way, it would be a social malaise if we allowed 1 person at a time to fulfill the urge of homosexual behaviour. What would we have? Falling population as more men would seek-out men and women would seek-out women. Those who do not engage in this activity would then become outcasts as is gradually becoming the case in some western countries. Imagine, a mother would not be able to trust her daughter with a female teacher nor a father his son with his football coach.
Impressive, never thought along this line before. So what ure saying in essence is there is an overall result for our collective actions

Slowly but surely, the fabric of society would be destroyed all because we want to sound and feel liberal (when in actual fact it is stupidity). Allowing homosexuality to thrive in any society has similar effects to allowing wanton drug abuse, stealing or the use of brute force in settling disputes. They all destroy societies and civilizations that engage in them.
Nobody will tell you this, but I am telling you now, one of the major causes of the fall of the Roman empire is homosexuality. When it got to a certain stage the Barbarians who remained true to human heterosexual nature overran them from almost all angles.

Thnx for d historical backup. So from all Uve said I can safely conclude dat for all our collective and negative actions there is an equal and opposite reaction. E.g. God wipes of an ungodly generation or society. As a student of cycle studies(repetitive patterns) I'll say I concur with all Uve said.