So here is a little dilemma facing a friend of mine. He recently had a baby with his partner of 4 years. Although he is very happy, he wants to have a paternity test done. The pregnancy was a surprise since he has been trying for a while (with his previous partners) but was told he has a condition which renders his sperms "almost useless" as he puts it.

So now, does he tell the wife about his intentions or just do it secretly? My advice to him is that he does it secretly - that way he gets the assurance (or proof thereof) without offending the wife.

My question here is: How would you approach it? Do it or NOT? Tell the wife prior or NEVER?

If it MUST be done its best to inform your partner.
NOTE:Dealing with [i]before and after [/i]a DNA test is no joke,he shld be well aware of that.whatever he is undergoing now wud be a child's play to compare with what wud HIT him after the test . . .regardless of the result.

.

He doesn't trust his[i] partner[/i]?

Why won't he let sleeping dogs lie

He must NOT tell the wife.
Since he has had the (?) condition he has kept from his wife too. . . so,why stop now?
I would secretly do the test, then inform her later.

If he tells her before the test he will definitely sabotage his efforts to find some closure to this burning desire.
He gets to be a winner either way.

He may find out the wife has been donating behind his back or front early enough since in doube. . . which would make his life easier or he may find out the kid is rightly his. Either way, he can 'arrange' a quick 'get out' plan.

He should go ahead and do the test without letting ANYONE(not even his mother) know till the results are out. If good results. . .don't tell no one. If bad results. . .proceed to the "check-out" counte sharp-sharp. . . unless you can come to some kind of 'settlement' and the pickin hungry you that musssss toclaim am!
Hopefully, one mad man or your me-ghi-dad or wan[b] 'dreva'[/b] will not come barging through your front door or try to break down ya fence to kollet im pickin some 10 years down the road when kasala 'buss' or akara scatter for h-inside cold oyel for "Iye Courage" im frying pan for market!
 

Never trust your spouse even if he or she is a 'born-again' or 'dead-again' in form of One kind Jesus Christ of Oyingbo!

In Nigeria and with Nigerians especially, ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING is possible. Especially, with all these born-again-nyansh-scattering gals of nowadays, donating left, right and center to one pastor or another in all those their deeper nyansh/anus midnight vigils all over the world.[b][/b]
He does not have to wait 20 years to find out if the child is not his. Especially, when he knows his palm wine gourds with 'water-water SPAM' . . . . are empty and he suffers from 'low SPAM count'!

Stranger things have happened.

After all, with GOD, all things are possible!


Mu he he he he he heeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

I think he should tell his wife else if she finds out later ,there will be no trust in the marriage.

secretly. If your friend expresses his doubts to his wife and the results come out positively, she will be mad for the lack of trust and worse, could back out of the marriage. Doubts like this are common, I posted a story culled from Oprah's website which I saw on her show. A man had two daughters with his wife, and unexpectedly, she gave birth to the third child, a baby boy. He was delighted, but his joy turned to grief months later when his wife died. Things took a bizzare turn when he got a letter from a stranger or so, claiming to be the father of the baby boy. He had no idea, so afterwards, they went for a DNA test. The man was in for a rude shock when the test revealed that the baby boy whom he assumed was his biological son (then a toddler or thereabout) belonged to one of the men. His wife had cheated on him, so when Oprah asked him if he was aware of it, he shook his head, but then added that after checking their phone bills, he did notice some strange phone numbers.

The judge granted visitation rights to the biological father of the tyke, but his mother's husband (that's the way I should put it, cos, the man is not the biological father, as much as he thought so) has primary custody of the boy. Oprah asked him if the boy knows the truth now (then, he was probably between 6-10) and the man responded negatively, but that he's been asking him the reasons for the shared custody.

Isnt that something?

He will be the biggest fool in the world to tell his wife. He can order the paternity kit online, swab his kids cheeks, swab his cheeks and send it to the testing lab. Results will be out in a few days.

If he has any doubts whatsoever regarding the paternity of his kid, he needs to do it ASAP.

Do the DNA test quietly. He shouldn't discuss it with his wife becasue if the baby is his, she will never forgive him for doubting her, and questioning the child.

I'm putting myself in her shoes. If my hubby questioned me about my child's paternity, for whatever reason, I would rather he calm his mind privately and not look like a fool to me and the whole world.

If the baby isn't his then it is a private manner between him and his wife. He could choose to accept the child as his own, especially if his wife didn't necessarily have an actual affair, but wanted to give him a child.

If it was an affair, he can still keep quiet and accept the child and his wife. If it were the other way around and he had an affair and brought a baby into the world then the wife wouldn't leave her home, she would just have to accept it.

Ndipe:

secretly. If your friend expresses his doubts to his wife and the results come out positively, she will be mad for the lack of trust and worse, could back out of the marriage. Doubts like this are common, I posted a story culled from Oprah's website which I saw on her show. A man had two daughters with his wife, and unexpectedly, she gave birth to the third child, a baby boy. He was delighted, but his joy turned to grief months later when his wife died. Things took a bizzare turn when he got a letter from a stranger or so, claiming to be the father of the baby boy. He had no idea, so afterwards, they went for a DNA test. The man was in for a rude shock when the test revealed that the baby boy whom he assumed was his biological son (then a toddler or thereabout) belonged to one of the men. His wife had cheated on him, so when Oprah asked him if he was aware of it, he shook his head, but then added that after checking their phone bills, he did notice some strange phone numbers.

The judge awarded visitation rights to the biological father of the tyke, but his mother's husband (that's the way I should put it, cos, the man is not the biological father, as much as he thought so) has primary custody of the boy. Oprah asked him if the boy knows the truth now (then, he was probably between 6-10) and the man responded negatively, but that he's been asking him the reasons for the shared custody.

Isnt that something?

Na wa oh, hope the dude doesn't maltreat the boy though

Busy_body:


Na wa oh, hope the dude doesn't maltreat the boy though

I hope not, I think the man was not interested in giving up the boy to his biological father. He told Oprah that his presence comforted him greatly after the death of his wife (and prior to the revelation of this betrayal).

While every man and woman would want their spouses to be faithful to them throughout the union, I have to ask, if you were in that man's situation, would you relinquish custodial rights of the tyke to his biological father, or would you consent to joint custody? It's a very sad story.

Here is the story I posted earlier

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-13738.0.html

Ndipe:

I hope not, I think the man was not interested in giving up the boy to his biological father. He told Oprah that his presence comforted him greatly after the death of his wife (and prior to the revelation of this betrayal).

While every man and woman would want their spouses to be faithful to them throughout the union, I have to ask, if you were in that man's situation, would you relinquish custodial rights of the tyke to his biological father, or would you consent to joint custody? It's a very sad story.

Here is the story I posted earlier

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-13738.0.html

I don't think I can give my child up, I can't, the fear that he will be maltreated will forever haunt me I will not hesitate to abduct my child and flee the Country in this case

Awww, you must love children by the way, most of your topics are always centred around them

A child is a child does not matter who the biological parents are. I was brought up by my step dad a truly amazing man and a loving father, I was a bit of a trouble teenager yet all I got back was loving discipline. Since you have this condition did you confide in ur wife that ur sperm is not top notch, do you expect her not to have kids even though the problem is yours, do u love her enof to bring us her kids as if they were urs. Check paternity if u must but if you are unable to accept the kid if he ain't urs then let her go.

poster

<sup>he should do it more secretly to save himslef.

the earlier the better

do you hear me</sup>

Why should he hid his inability to get her concieve? He might ve lied to u also.
If the result said his spam was almost and not already useless. Then he wouldn't doubt if the baby is his.
I suspect this your friend.

So his wife stood by him when she knew that there was a chance that he could ot have children. She then gets pregnant and he wants to go get a paternity test. Some people do not deserve love and respect

A married male friend of mine had a similar situation.

He went to the drug store & purchased a kit; swabbed

his and the baby's mouth and mailed it off. About 4

weeks later he received the results. He never told his

wife. But the mere fact that your friend has this kind

of concern in the first place lets him know he should

have the test done or he'll forever have doubts.

By the way, turns out my friend is the child's father after all. lol

I totally feel the plight of ur friend.
most often than not it is best to clarify every air of doubt or concern you or ur friend may have.
i have a Dr friend of mine that is into issues such as dis and offer DNA services.
i suggest you give her a call. she will be able to offer you a proffessional advice.
you can call her on 08099452230 or email her on dnatesting11@gmail.com
whether is this helps or not i hope your friend find the answers he needs,
cheers.

Please where can DNA test be done in lagos

initiate:

Please where can DNA test be done in lagos

At the nearest babalawo's office!

RE:Please where can DNA test be done in lagos

you can do a DNA test @ juli pharmacy in ikeja.(along computer village opposite texaco-now MRS)

cheers!!!

Busy_body:


I don't think I can give my child up, I can't, the fear that he will be maltreated will forever haunt me I will not hesitate to abduct my child and flee the Country in this case

Awww, you must love children by the way, most of your topics are always centred around them

Thanks for the compliment. Yeah, I do love them, babies are so cute and innocent.

I'd like to know what possible health condition renders one's sperm 'useless', its a pretty odd way of putting it. that said, the DNA thingy is pretty dicey.

If you tell her, she could take it badly, construe it as your lack of trust in her.

If you don't tell, you have you conscience to live with, esp if the test turns out. . .well not as expected.

do it secretly,cos if she gets to find out about it, ure literally tellin her you don't trust her and you think she's been cheating on you(which is actually wat ure thinkin anyway)

Mildred Baena's ex-husband had 'no idea' his son was Arnold Schwarzenegger's lovechild


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1390543/Arnold-Schwarzenegger-love-child-Mildred-Baenas-ex-husband-didnt-know-son-wasnt-his.html#ixzz1NJh2pal1


Apparently, he trusted his wife who then betrayed his trust by giving him another man's child.

@ OP, let him do a secret test.

baby.me:
He doesn't trust his[i] partner[/i]?

Sometimes,trust is a 4 letter word.

Blazay: He must NOT tell the wife.
Since he has had the (?) condition he has kept from his wife too. . . so,why stop now?
I would secretly do the test, then inform her later.

If he tells her before the test he will definitely sabotage his efforts to find some closure to this burning desire.
He gets to be a winner either way.

He may find out the wife has been donating behind his back or front early enough since in doube. . . which would make his life easier or he may find out the kid is rightly his. Either way, he can 'arrange' a quick 'get out' plan.

He should go ahead and do the test without letting ANYONE(not even his mother) know till the results are out. If good results. . .don't tell no one. If bad results. . .proceed to the "check-out" counte sharp-sharp. . . unless you can come to some kind of 'settlement' and the pickin hungry you that musssss toclaim am!
Hopefully, one mad man or your me-ghi-dad or wan[b] 'dreva'[/b] will not come barging through your front door or try to break down ya fence to kollet im pickin some 10 years down the road when kasala 'buss' or akara scatter for h-inside cold oyel for "Iye Courage" im frying pan for market!
 

Never trust your spouse even if he or she is a 'born-again' or 'dead-again' in form of One kind Jesus Christ of Oyingbo!

In Nigeria and with Nigerians especially, ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING is possible. Especially, with all these born-again-nyansh-scattering gals of nowadays, donating left, right and center to one pastor or another in all those their deeper nyansh/anus midnight vigils all over the world.[b][/b]
He does not have to wait 20 years to find out if the child is not his. Especially, when he knows his palm wine gourds with 'water-water SPAM' . . . . are empty and he suffers from 'low SPAM count'!

Stranger things have happened.

After all, with GOD, all things are possible!


Mu he he he he he heeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

lol true talk even for a complete guy DNA test is essential, not to talk of a half card guy...

It depends on what he is going to do and how much he doubts. For example, if he is sure the baby is from anpther man, he can choose a legal form of dna testing - usual paternity testing. So he has to make the partner know about situation. It will be offeensive to her. And may be she won't forgive. Better choose dna in home test kit (at the beginning, just to know the truth) https://dnasu.com/product/dna-in-home-test-kit-2/ It's as accurate as usual testing. So if he doesn't care about legal purpose, he can coose kit, and his partner won't know. He'll save their relationship until she get to know about his doubts

So many secrets and mistrust. Did he tell her he had a problem? Did he seek help for the condition? Because if he is treating his problem, I believe there should be an improvement unless he is not doing anything about it and is trying his luck outside.
I believe he tells the lady his plan before he carries it out.

There are 3 FORMS of Paternity Testing
1. Confidential DNA Paternity Testing: You just doing your private secret investigation

2. Contentional DNA Paternity Testing: All parties involved in the contention must Witness the collection of samples and sign an attestation.

3. Legal DNA Paternity Testing: It means a court is simply saying go and do the test. A court order is mandatory. Immigration DNA Paternity Testing still falls under this category

Contact 08109634144 for All kinds of Paternity Testing