SIMPs SIMPs that's all we see on Nairaland. But first of all who is a simp. For the newbies here on Nairaland a Simp is a man that is overly desperate about a woman, making him do foolish things at the expense of his own convenience. There are actually bible Characters who were actual simp, so tighten up your seat belt, who knows If your favorite Character might just be one.

1. Adam
Adam is first on the list not because he is the greatest of all Simp, No, he is the first because of the courtesy of being the first bible male character. Now was the first man actually a simp? Your guess is good as mine. Yes.
The fall of man, if actually you take time to read the scripture, you will notice Adam wasn't deceived by the serpent. Why then did he eat the forbidden fruit?
1 Timothy 2:14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.
Adam was a man that is willing to risk eternal damnation of his soul for a woman. Eve had fallen. Adam thought "well Eve will be punished, it won't be bad if both of us got punished together, in fact we die together". Adam wasn't thinking straight, his overly desperation and obsession he had for Eve made him to get punished by God.
First man was actually a simp. Now the question is will Eve do the same?




2. Jacob
Really is Jacob a simp? But he married two wives and had sons and daughters with even their handmaids. That is sounding like an alpha male thing. The truth is younger Jacob was actually a big simp if not the biggest.
Jacob left his father's house after deceiving his brother Esau. He ran to his uncle Laban for fear his twin bro might just have his head for a nice red hot porridge. In Jacobs stay with Laban he fell in love with Rachel second daughter of Laban. Laban saw Jacob desperation and obsession over his daughter, he thought " Jacob might just be a potential simp". He gave him an outrageous bride price, that he should serve him for 7 good years. Jacob did not negotiate or talk Laban out of his madness, surprisingly he agreed. Jacob did not reason like his fathers before him-Isaac who just bought goats and gold as bride price, and also his grandfather Abraham.
He slaved and simped around for 7 horrible years and was given Leah instead, he later would slave and simp around for another 7 years just to Marry Rachel. You see Jacob simped for 14 good years just to get the cookie of Rachel. Oh gracious what a simp. If you don't know how terrible this is add 14 years to your age; and wonder is a girl actually worth it?




3. Lot.
Yes the famous Lot. The Nephew of Abraham and unfortunately he once wifed a salt. Please do not laugh at that, it is offensive to laugh.
How is lot a simp? Let's do a little intro.
Lot left Abraham and pitched his tent at Sodom. Yes he did that not because he love live action porn but he actually wanted to do business and make money to feed his family. Lot was actually providing food for his family literally. He would make the money and do the cooking. How the hell did I know here is a scripture.
Genesis 19:3 And he pressed upon them greatly; and they turned in unto him, and entered into his house; and he made them a feast, and did bake unleavened bread, and they did eat.
Read it Carefully the angels came to visit Lot and his family. Lot baked the bread himself and set up the meal all by himself. Yes not Lot's wife nor his daughters. It was Sarah who set the table for the angels that visited Abraham. Lot had to do the hospitality himself. No wonder he wanted to offer up his useless daughters to the Hot men of Sodom.
Just like every other simping husband that brings money to the house and take care of the house work while the wife eats and do nothing.
So you have seen it o. Lot was actually a "woman rapper".




4. Portipher
Do you know mr. Portipher? He was actually Joseph's master and also the head of security to Pharaoh the ruler of Egypt. Wow such a man with a wonderful position. He had wealth and power. But one thing about Portipher is that he knew of his wife uncountable affairs but he said nothing. She was the one with Joseph torn clothes, in every rape cases it is the victim that always have torn clothes not the other way round. All the people knew of her continuous wooing even Portipher.
He was not angry at Joseph just like every simp in every era nor his wife, he was angry at his simping ways. He was not man enough to satisfy his wife. So he threw Joseph in the king's prison. What an irony isn't it? You can't throw a man who is said to rape your wife in a luxurious prison; of course you will send him to the worst of the worst. Portipher knew Joseph was innocent. He was such a tough man in the palace but a simp at home.
THIS IS A TESTAMENT TO THE FACT THAT EVEN A MACHO MAN CAN BE A SIMP.


5. Ahab.
For those that skip sunday school. Ahab was once a king of israel and also the husband to the infamous Jezebel. Ahab was a weak king. The one ruling the kingdom was actually Jezebel. There was a time Ahab was sulking about how he lost a precious land to Naboth. (Simp always sulk and expect their woman to solve their problem). Jezebel actually ordered the armies to kill Naboth. A queen doesnt have the power to do so. Jezebel forced Ahab and israel to worship her gods Jezebel was the one actually haunting Elijah. Ahab was just there simping on the throne. Note if you as a man refuse to take charge your woman will do so.

THIS IS A TESTAMENT TO THE FACT THAT POWER DOESN'T STOP YOU FROM BEING A SIMP.

tO be continued...

You're a trouble maker. A chronic one at that

My belle o. The polisher narrative wan burst my belle

op right on point

Okay.
6. Samson.
Samson was actually well not a giant but just a regular guy with nice biceps, wonderful long locks and yes super human strength. Every woman dream a strong, healthy man with long hair with cash and a affluence position in the society.
First era of Simping. Samson fell in love with a Philistines damsel. Like a normal guy he wanted to wife her, but the problem is she was given out to another man the day he was to wed her. Samson had to burn the Philistines farms just because of a woman he couldn't have this would later cause torment on the israelite by the philistines. Well if I am to contribute, instead of simping why not just move on like others.
Second era of simping after slaying a thousand Philistines he was actually using Delila to oil his machine. Samson failed to separate emotions from konji wahala. You see Samson wasn't dating Delilah she was a prostitute Samson got manipulated into telling her his greatest secret which would later lead to his death. Just like every other SIMPs gets manipulated into saying and doing things for their woman. They fail to understand that a Lady will choose money over a man anytime and twice on a Thursday. Well not all ladies though but mist Ladies.
Please our brothers in the Lord, shall we continue in simping that we will be loved? God forbid.
Behind every unsuccessful man, there is always a woman draining the living daylight out of him. Sorry for brother Simpson I meant Samson o.



7. Shechem
Now this one simping is in another dimension. If you haven't heard of Shechem. Shechem was actually Jacob to be son in law. I will give you a short sypnosis.
Actually Jacob pitched his tent among the Hivites a tribe of Canaanite. You see the only relationship Jacob have with this people was the tax he paid. Jacob's daughter Dinah became bored, I won't blame her all her siblings were men. So she went to the land of Shechem to see the sisters of the land; but was konjilised by a brother of the land like play like play. The brother name happens to be Shechem the same name with the city. After the kelewawa Shechem couldn't have enough of that cookie. Truth be told it was the best cookie he ever tasted an Hebrew puss, better than the yeast infested Canaanite girls- why is this sounding familiar.
You see that is were the simping started he asked for her hand in marriage. Jacob was adamant but he had no choice, his virgin daughter is now a farm tool so he thought. He spoke like a typical Jewish man "if you want my daughter you need to be circumsized you and your household." Shechem and his household got circumcised grown men were willing to go against their culture tore their dicks just so he could get a second round of that damn cookie. They were later killed by Dinah's senior brothers maybe these two bro do not like the idea of their sister getting an uncircumcised dicks.
Shechem should have calm down and reason but his soul cleaved to that of Dinah. He and his household died because of his simping ways

I love calling him bro Sampson Simpson

Lalasticlala

Abraham was number one SImp. His wife told him to sleep with slave ,he obeyed.
Wife told him to send the slave out, he obeyed.

A voice told him to kill his only son, he obeyed

Even If mosquito Tell him to kill himself, he will obey

like ahab like goodluck jonathan
like Shechem like Sani Abacha

soundOsonic:
SIMPs SIMPs that's all we see on Nairaland. But first of all who is a simp. For the newbies here on Nairaland a Simp is a man that is overly desperate about a woman, making him do foolish things at the expense of his own convenience. There are actually bible Characters who were actual simp, so tighten up your seat belt, who knows If your favorite Character might just be one.

1. Adam
Adam is first on the list not because he is the greatest of all Simp, No, he is the first because of the courtesy of being the first bible male character. Now was the first man actually a simp? Your guess is good as mine. Yes.
The fall of man, if actually you take time to read the scripture, you will notice Adam wasn't deceived by the serpent. Why then did he eat the forbidden fruit?
1 Timothy 2:14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.
Adam was a man that is willing to risk eternal damnation of his soul for a woman. Eve had fallen. Adam thought "well Eve will be punished, it won't be bad if both of us got punished together, in fact we die together". Adam wasn't thinking straight, his overly desperation and obsession he had for Eve made him to get punished by God.
First man was actually a simp. Now the question is will Eve do the same?




2. Jacob
Really is Jacob a simp? But he married two wives and had sons and daughters with even their handmaids. That is sounding like an alpha male thing. The truth is younger Jacob was actually a big simp if not the biggest.
Jacob left his father's house after deceiving his brother Esau. He ran to his uncle Laban for fear his twin bro might just have his head for a nice red hot porridge. In Jacobs stay with Laban he fell in love with Rachel second daughter of Laban. Laban saw Jacob desperation and obsession over his daughter, he thought " Jacob might just be a potential simp". He gave him an outrageous bride price, that he should serve him for 7 good years. Jacob did not negotiate or talk Laban out of his madness, surprisingly he agreed. Jacob did not reason like his fathers before him-Isaac who just bought goats and gold as bride price, and also his grandfather Abraham.
He slaved and simped around for 7 horrible years and was given Leah instead, he later would slave and simp around for another 7 years just to Marry Rachel. You see Jacob simped for 14 good years just to get the cookie of Rachel. Oh gracious what a simp. If you don't know how terrible this is add 14 years to your age; and wonder is a girl actually worth it?




3. Lot.
Yes the famous Lot. The Nephew of Abraham and unfortunately he once wifed a salt. Please do not laugh at that, it is offensive to laugh.
How is lot a simp? Let's do a little intro.
Lot left Abraham and pitched his tent at Sodom. Yes he did that not because he love live action porn but he actually wanted to do business and make money to feed his family. Lot was actually providing food for his family literally. He would make the money and do the cooking. How the hell did I know here is a scripture.
Genesis 19:3 And he pressed upon them greatly; and they turned in unto him, and entered into his house; and he made them a feast, and did bake unleavened bread, and they did eat.
Read it Carefully the angels came to visit Lot and his family. Lot baked the bread himself and set up the meal all by himself. Yes not Lot's wife nor his daughters. It was Sarah who set the table for the angels that visited Abraham. Lot had to do the hospitality himself. No wonder he wanted to offer up his useless daughters to the Hot men of Sodom.
Just like every other simping husband that brings money to the house and take care of the house work while the wife eats and do nothing.
So you have seen it o. Lot was actually a "woman rapper".




[b]4. Portipher
Do you know mr. Portipher? He was actually Joseph's master and also the head of security to Pharaoh the ruler of Egypt. Wow such a man with a wonderful position. He had wealth and power. But one thing about Portipher is that he knew of his wife uncountable affairs but he said nothing. She was the one with Joseph torn clothes, in every rape cases it is the victim that always have torn clothes not the other way round. All the people knew of her continuous wooing even Portipher.
He was not angry at Joseph just like every simp in every era nor his wife, he was angry at his simping ways. He was not man enough to satisfy his wife. So he threw Joseph in the king's prison. What an irony isn't it? You can't throw a man who is said to rape your wife in a luxurious prison; of course you will send him to the worst of the worst. Portipher knew Joseph was innocent. He was such a tough man in the palace but a simp at home.
THIS IS A TESTAMENT TO THE FACT THAT EVEN A MACHO MAN CAN BE A SIMP.[/b]


5. Ahab.
For those that skip sunday school. Ahab was once a king of israel and also the husband to the infamous Jezebel. Ahab was a weak king. The one ruling the kingdom was actually Jezebel. There was a time Ahab was sulking about how he lost a precious land to Naboth. (Simp always sulk and expect their woman to solve their problem). Jezebel actually ordered the armies to kill Naboth. A queen doesnt have the power to do so. Jezebel forced Ahab and israel to worship her gods Jezebel was the one actually haunting Elijah. Ahab was just there simping on the throne. Note if you as a man refuse to take charge your woman will do so.

THIS IS A TESTAMENT TO THE FACT THAT POWER DOESN'T STOP YOU FROM BEING A SIMP.

tO be continued...

You will Never be able to understand why Portiphar did what he did...
Not even if you sat down to ruminate over it for a million years.

Besides that, regardless of Joseph's important position in that household, a slave would always remain a slave.

Joseph was a slave before becoming the major domo of Portiphar's house and at that point during the false accusation levelled against him by Portiphar's woman, his status as a slave hadn't changed. He was just slightly higher than all other slaves.

There was no way his words were gonna count over that of a free citizen's- let alone that of the woman of the house no matter how cooked up the whole thing was or appeared to be.

Portiphar would have lost his standing in the eyes of the Egyptian public had word gotten out that he believed the word of a mere 'Hebrew slave boy' bought for roughly 20 silver pieces by some Midianite traders over that of his wife- the woman of the house(her slovenly was regardless). Don't forget, Egypt was the most advanced society of the time. They pretty much considered themselves superior to all others in many aspects. Portipher's hands appeared tied under such circumstances.

All these things need deep thinking before putting them together.

Just thought that I should point that out. Not my cup of tea passing comments on threads like these.

And you are what?

IT'S NOT GOOD FOR MAN TO LIVE ALONE, GOD SAID

HOW DID JESUS CHRIST, OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR USE HIS PRICK? WHAT WAS HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH FEMALES?

IT'S NOT GOOD FOR MAN TO LIVE ALONE, GOD SAID

HOW DID JESUS CHRIST, OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR USE HIS PRICK? WHAT WAS HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH FEMALES?

THE SERPENT GAVE THE FRUIT AT THE CENTRE TO EVE TO TASTE BEFORE EVE GAVE IT TO ADAM AND MADE ADAM DISOBEY.

QUEEN MARY DIDN'T DISOBEY 'COS SHE HAD IT DIRECTLY FROM THE HOLY SPIRIT.

IS THE HOLY SPIRIT A SIMP?

I love calling him bro Sampson Simpson

May God have mercy on you......

Carry simping matter enter our online assembly....

Hehehehe

See them abusing the men their LORD choose in their books.

No morals at all.

Alhamdulillah, all the Prophets of Allah are free of what you ascribed to them.