Good evening and a happy sunday nairalanders..
i don't know how to start but let me start from somewhere..

Instead of writing a long epistle,i will summarise,so you won't get tired of reading..

In a devastated state now and my heart aches..
All the days of my life,i have always learned to respect my parents and listen to them...though there are some instances i am stubborn .but if i go wrong,i accept it and i apologize.
As the first son of the family..firstly,let me chip in this..i have never one day associate my self too much with ladies,i've never even showed a girl to my parents before.. I'm 22years old..though my parents know my intentions of getting married at 25years of age

So one fateful day,i told my mom of my girlfriend which i'm intending to build my life with..she knows this girl,she plays does things with her,they both look like mother and daughter sef...so on friday,my mom was like i can't marry her..that she will choose who she wants me to marry when i bring them..she was sha saying some stuffs and she was like I wouldn't do anything without her and even shouting(sorry to say this,she was actually shouting) at me,it really got to my head and it caused a big argument her and i..i'm trying to summarise here..most of you should have understood with what went down the arguments..

she was the same person that told me that,her parents and family didn't want her to get married to my dad..but she stood her ground and got married to him..please why is she disturbing me...i've asked her to give me reasons..yet she can't even give one thing...the only thing I'm sure she doesn't like abt her is height,she isn't really tall but she no be dwarf abeg o..
I told her if she keeps pestering me,I will leave the house soon and go to my side..

My dad will likely want to support her,they do that...I will leave..
Please are my opinions okay...or what should I do?...

Both your dad and mom are probably hiding some facts from you about the lady

Push your other siblings to whine your mom to know her reasons..

This is not a small issue right now o in my home...this girl we re talking about,she's a very good, hardworking,humble,committed,godly lady... she's my first girlfriend, I've seen experiences and I don't wish to date more than once...
please what should I do?

helinues:
Both your dad and mom are probably hiding some facts from you about the lady

Push your other siblings to whine your mom to know her reasons..

There's really no reason..she once complained of her heights before now...
abeg na she I dey or I wan settle down with o..legit women like her cannot be lost abeg

Sonofgrace01:



There's really no reason..she once complained of her heights before now...
abeg na she I dey or I wan settle down with o..legit women like her cannot be lost abeg

Height excuse is not convincing enough.. There is more to the height issue..

Sonofgrace01:
Good evening and a happy sunday nairalanders..
i don't know how to start but let me start from somewhere..

Instead of writing a long epistle,i will summarise,so you won't get tired of reading..

In a devastated state now and my heart aches..
All the days of my life,i have always learned to respect my parents and listen to them...though there are some instances i am stubborn .but if i go wrong,i accept it and i apologize.
As the first son of the family..firstly,let me chip in this..i have never one day associate my self too much with ladies,i've never even showed a girl to my parents before.. I'm 22years old..though my parents know my intentions of getting married at 25years of age

So one fateful day,i told my mom of my girlfriend which i'm intending to build my life with..she knows this girl,she plays does things with her,they both look like mother and daughter sef...so on friday,my mom was like i can't marry her..that she will choose who she wants me to marry when i bring them..she was sha saying some stuffs and she was like I wouldn't do anything without her and even shouting(sorry to say this,she was actually shouting) at me,it really got to my head and it caused a big argument her and i..i'm trying to summarise here..most of you should have understood with what went down the arguments..

she was the same person that told me that,her parents and family didn't want her to get married to my dad..but she stood her ground and got married to him..please why is she disturbing me...i've asked her to give me reasons..yet she can't even give one thing...the only thing I'm sure she doesn't like abt her is height,she isn't really tall but she no be dwarf abeg o..
I told her if she keeps pestering me,I will leave the house soon and go to my side..

My dad will likely want to support her,they do that...I will leave..
Please are my opinions okay...or what should I do?...

Pls just take it easy with them, this is not an issue that will be treated with stubbornness of arguments

What your mum is doing is normal for some women because their son will start having less attention to them and becomes insecured that the love you have for her will be diverted

But its a simple issue to handle unless you have the whole time in this world to face them forever

My advice is, seat both you parents down and let them know that this lady is the one you want to get married to

Listen to them and if they turn it down, don't argue with them, leave the matter and bring it up again next time

If you go against their wish, you may not find it easy and your mother will make sure you don't enjoy it

For the fact that she is not supporting you, is enough for you to know that it's not going to be a smooth ride

helinues:


Height excuse is not convincing enough.. There is more to the height issue..

nothing more than that.. though she's really not from a rich home,at least they re average...we are average as well in our house, what's the issue...I'm so sick o..
nothing flow in this house again

Sonofgrace01:


nothing more than that.. though she's really not from a rich home,at least they re average...we are average as well in our house, what's the issue...I'm so sick o..
nothing flow in this house again

She gave you the excuse of height right? There is more to that excuse trust me

frozen70:


Pls just take it easy with them, this is not an issue that will be treated with stubbornness of arguments

What your mum is doing is normal for some women because their son will start having less attention to them and becomes insecured that the love you have for her will be diverted

But its a simple issue to handle unless you have the whole time in this world to face them forever

My advice is, seat both you parents down and let them know that this lady is the one you want to get married to

Listen to them and if they turn it down, don't argue with them, leave the matter and bring it up again next time

If you go against their wish, you may not find it easy and your mother will make sure you don't enjoy it

For the fact that she is not supporting you, is enough for you to know that it's not going to be a smooth ride

To be honest,my parents feel their their own statement is final...hard to convince those people

To burst you guys bubbles,she was like all the play and friendship.. she's doing with my girl are just pretence...it broke my heart...
I told her she actually broke my heart with that her statement

I will say this once.

The worst mistake a man can make is to marry the wrong woman.

If u know she is right for u, dont let anyone make u choose otherwise.

It's your life, wife and family not theirs.

Stand ur ground or forever become mommy's boy.

My two cents though.

Sonofgrace01:
To burst you guys bubbles,she was like all the play and friendship.. she's doing with my girl are just pretence...it broke my heart...
I told her she actually broke my heart with that her statement

Oga there's a Famous statement and I quote,

“What the elders can see while sitting down, the young man cannot see it, even if he climbs the highest Iroko tree".

A word is enough for the wise.

DaddyRochie1642:





Oga there's a Famous statement and I quote,

“What the elders can see while sitting down, the young man cannot see it, even if he climbs the highest Iroko tree".

A word is enough for the wise.

Young man,sorry to say...this is way out of it...they re not seeing anything... I'm telling you this fact

Sonofgrace01:


Young man,sorry to say...this is way out of it...they re not seeing anything... I'm telling you this fact

Just pray it doesn't end in Weeping and gnashing Of Teeth in the End

DaddyRochie1642:





Just pray it doesn't end in Weeping and gnashing Of Teeth in the End

nah..no...they just want to be in total control of my life .like I said,I am the first child..

Sonofgrace01:



nah..no...they just want to be in total control of my life .like I said,I am the first child..

Sorry but if i may ask? Are u 22 or do u want to marry this year?

Cos if you are still 22 and plan to get married wen u re 25, why are bothering yourself about the marriage now

Tomorrow is pregnant, "sufficient unto each day are the worries thereof" .... you have more business living a youthful life at 22,23,24, youths are selling their ideas to foreign investors, making breakthroughs medicine ,sports, entertaonment, science and technology, even boys on the market and people in the office,,,

My opinion tho, i think you are not super engaged right now, cos if you are , u may not have time to be arguing marriage issues with ur parents right now wen u plan to marry in 3 years......very odd to me

op, why are you rushing yourself with marriage. mind you, marriage is not what you think you can go in and come out at your own will.
in as much you want to marry, there is an adage that says what an elder sees while seated, even if a child climb an iroko tree, he can't it. at this juncture you needs to apply wisdom. find a time when your mum is in good mood and calmly approach her and fathom why she said that you can't marry her.
just a reminder, the holy scripture say intending couples must seek the blessing of their parents

igbosoupkitchen:

Sorry but if i may ask? Are u 22 or do u want to marry this year?

I want to get married aged 25 A girl that I'm about to engage very soon before June... I've been with this girl for two years now oo

Sonofgrace01:


Young man,sorry to say...this is way out of it...they re not seeing anything... I'm telling you this fact

young man you can't be seeking for advice and at the same time kicking against those advising you. it is called arrogance and childishness. even if his option doesn't suit you, just say thank you and move on

@extol1 thumbs up....Op should calm down and analyze where he or his mom got it wrong. Two wrongs can't make a right,bro calm down,talk things over and see why she is against you marrying the girl but I will advise you not to tell the girl first till you have concerete reasons from your mom why she's against it. Apply wisdom, do not rush things ok. Good luck.

Sonofgrace01:



I want to get married aged 25
A girl that I'm about to engage very soon before June...
I've been with this girl for two years now oo

I have modified my post.
If you engage her this year ,will she wait for u for another 3 years?

As i said in my modified post, this is not wat u need now, work towards being a better you FIRST, you are in the best age to do so....
As for your girl, i dong know why the hurry, u can both remain dating, if 25 meets you both together fine and good.

But honestly, you are not doing yourself, any good with this type of discussion now,

Deborah98:
@extol1 thumbs up....Op should calm down and analyze where he or his mom got it wrong. Two wrongs can't make a right,bro calm down,talk things over and see why she is against you marrying the girl but I will advise you not to tell the girl first till you have concerete reasons from your mom why she's against it. Apply wisdom, do not rush things ok. Good luck.

okay sir...
but the thing is that...I've asked like countlessly,still yet nothing..

igbosoupkitchen:


I have modified my post.
If you engage her this year ,will she wait for u for another 3 years?

As i said in my modified post, this is not wat u need now, work towards being a better you FIRST, you are in the best age to do so....
As for your girl, i dong know why the hurry, u can both remain dating, if 25 meets you both together fine and good.

But honestly, you are not doing yourself, any good with this type of discussion now,

I understand you sir..it's not necessary I get married to her at 25 you get...
I am actually stable oo,I'm living well..
it's not really hurry...when I was 11 years...age 25 have always been in my mind...maybe that's why things got to be stable for me at my present age...
what don't I have(I'm not bragging..buy honest here)that my parents won't let me choose a woman I want to be with ..

Sonofgrace01:


I understand you sir..it's not necessary I get married to her at 25 you get...
I am actually stable oo,I'm living well..
it's not really hurry...when I was 11 years...age 25 have always been in my mind...maybe that's why things got to be stable for me at my present age...
what don't I have(I'm not bragging..buy honest here)that my parents won't let me choose a woman I want to be with ..

Have you heard that time tells.....give it time, you are also still young, if u have everything u dont have all the wisdom yet.....

Maybe your mother cannot tell you the real reason because she can see that you are so lovestruck that you'll go and report what your mum said to her. One thing is for sure, your mother has something on her; whether it's relevant is what I can't tell, but it's not only about height as you want to make yourself believe.

Shouting match will not solve anything... Getting angry where no one tends to listen to another person's opinion won't help..

Do operation 7day best behaviour... Be extra nice to your dad for one week.. within the 7th day, while he's relaxing, buy two bottles of what ever he likes.. join him and tell him u want to talk.. Ask him why his in laws refused to let him marry their daughter and what he did/ how he handled it.. let the conversation flow without interruption.. From there, you can figure out what to do..

Your mum should know that choosing a wife for you will not gurarantee that the girl will turn out to be the best choice.

Besides, snce she understands what it means to stand your ground on your choice (as she did and married your dad), you should be able to sort this out

To burst you guys bubbles,she was like all the play and friendship.. she's doing with my girl are just pretence...it broke my heart...I told her she actually broke my heart with that her statement

DaddyRochie1642:





Oga there's a Famous statement and I quote,

“What the elders can see while sitting down, the young man cannot see it, even if he climbs the highest Iroko tree".

A word is enough for the wise.

enough with all these bulsheet talk