better apply for all my entitlements and allowances quick and hope they get approved before Rapture, the confusion if it does not happen can set-off mass hysteria and riots

It is almost here. I think I'm now in the clear. I've been to enough churches to know that if God is picking the most popular denominations, I should make it into heaven.
Hurray.
5 days to go.

thehomer, you sef wan go Heaven. Heaven is a holy place o, can you cope?

Image123:

thehomer, you sef wan go Heaven. Heaven is a holy place o, can you cope?

If the devil himself could cope then I should have no problem. If it is really terrible, then I'll just lead my own rebellion. I'm sure I'll get many people to join me in changing heaven if it is not satisfactory. Or we could always break out.

Oh God. It has started. I see nude people floating up into the sky.
Aaargh look at that zombie floating up out of the grave.
What do I do now? I'm simply hoping that I too will float away in the next few hours.

^duh
Satan used to be holy, he got the boot when he quit, sinners cannot live in Heaven except you repent.

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^duh
Satan used to be holy, he got the boot when he quit, sinners cannot live in Heaven except you repent.

But Satan is an Ex-Council member and I believe he visits heaven as a matter of obligation to represent his constituency. Was he not there when Job the decision to afflict poor ol' innocent Job with a malaise of sorts

Job 1:6
"Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan came also among them."

But fear not, I have it from authoritative sources that JEGA has postponed the rapture indefinitely due to logistics challenges and computer malfunction in registration centers at Heaven's Gate. A proposal has been put forward to prepare a $30 billion budget for eye-scanning equipment.

2 Peter 3

The Day of the Lord

1 Dear friends, this is now my second letter to you. I have written both of them as reminders to stimulate you to wholesome thinking. 2 I want you to recall the words spoken in the past by the holy prophets and the command given by our Lord and Savior through your apostles.

3 Above all, you must understand that in the last days scoffers will come, scoffing and following their own evil desires. 4 They will say, “Where is this ‘coming’ he promised? Ever since our ancestors died, everything goes on as it has since the beginning of creation.” 5 But they deliberately forget that long ago by God’s word the heavens came into being and the earth was formed out of water and by water. 6 By these waters also the world of that time was deluged and destroyed. 7 By the same word the present heavens and earth are reserved for fire, being kept for the day of judgment and destruction of the ungodly.

8 But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. 9 The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

10 But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything done in it will be laid bare.[a]

11 Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you to be? You ought to live holy and godly lives 12 as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming.[b] That day will bring about the destruction of the heavens by fire, and the elements will melt in the heat. 13 But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, where righteousness dwells.

14 So then, dear friends, since you are looking forward to this, make every effort to be found spotless, blameless and at peace with him. 15 Bear in mind that our Lord’s patience means salvation, just as our dear brother Paul also wrote you with the wisdom that God gave him. 16 He writes the same way in all his letters, speaking in them of these matters. His letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction.

has it happened yet or have i missed out on Rapture - my own don finish be that

^^^^


For those who never read their bible but keep following men, they deserved to be deceived.

There is no mention of the word rapture in the bible.

All we have is the second coming of Christ ( like a thief in the night ) at which time the church will be caught up and the wrath of God pured out without measure on sinners and the wicked.

But of this day knows no man, ONLY GOD.

frosbel:

^^^^


For those who never read their bible but keep following men, they deserved to be deceived.

There is no mention of the word rapture in the bible.

All we have is the second coming of Christ ( like a thief in the night ) at which time the church will be caught up and the wrath of God pured out without measure on sinners and the wicked.

But of this day knows no man, ONLY GOD.

Rapture/2nd coming - aint they the same thing ?

Absolutely not


The word rapture is never once used in the bible.

I will post a topic about this shortly.

Problem is that no one cares to study their bible any more.

There are only 2 comings of Jesus according to prophecy.

His first coming to die for mankind, his second coming is for our final redemption.

But no one knows the hour or day.

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^duh
Satan used to be holy, he got the boot when he quit, sinners cannot live in Heaven except you repent.

Don't worry, I'm halfway there. It seems they have internet access en route to heaven so I'll let you know what heaven is like. And of course, what I intend to do when I get there is to lead my own rebellion if God doesn't accede to my requests.
<whisper>Don't tell God if it turns out that you get there too.<whisper>

blacksta:

has it happened yet or have i missed out on Rapture - my own don finish be that

Sorry o. Don't worry, try hard during the times of tribulation to follow and you just might make it after you have suffered and persevered.

Guys, it is now the 22nd of May, 2011.
what happened??
did I miss anything??
All the christians I know are still here.
Maybe they are not true christians.
If they are, they should have been Raptured.
I really did wish for it to happen - the earth would be a far better place without the sanctimonious born-agains.

Zodiac61:

Guys, it is now the 22nd of May, 2011.
what happened??
did I miss anything??
All the christians I know are still here.
Maybe they are not true christians.
If they are, they should have been Raptured.
I really did wish for it to happen - the earth would be a far better place without the sanctimonious born-agains.

It happened. Only the true Christians were raptured. The rest of us will have to suffer the tribulation.

hmm, Man, 1988, people sold their properties; went to hill tops to await the rapture, wondering what some people did yesterday

whosoever among the christians that will post after the big rapture tat took place yesterday is by remaining on earth has been exposed as an all out fake christians.

every true christian left the earth yesterday; caught up with the saints.

i see from now on end; fake chrstians and the rest of us as the book of timothy puts it, infidels.

Did anyone see the floating zombies?
Any True Christians left?

Woohoo! This was the best rapture so far. Me and my friends had a party to celebrate and everything. I can't wait for the next one LOL!

2 Peter 3 :

1 Dear friends, this is now my second letter to you. I have written both of them as reminders to stimulate you to wholesome thinking. 2 I want you to recall the words spoken in the past by the holy prophets and the command given by our Lord and Savior through your apostles.

3 Above all, you must understand that in the last days scoffers will come, scoffing and following their own evil desires. 4 They will say, “Where is this ‘coming’ he promised? Ever since our ancestors died, everything goes on as it has since the beginning of creation.” 5 But they deliberately forget that long ago by God’s word the heavens came into being and the earth was formed out of water and by water. 6 By these waters also the world of that time was deluged and destroyed. 7 By the same word the present heavens and earth are reserved for fire, being kept for the day of judgment and destruction of the ungodly.

8 But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. 9 The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

10 But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything done in it will be laid bare.[a]

11 Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you to be? You ought to live holy and godly lives 12 as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming.[b] That day will bring about the destruction of the heavens by fire, and the elements will melt in the heat. 13 But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, where righteousness dwells.

frosbel:

2 Peter 3 :

1 Dear friends, this is now my second letter to you. I have written both of them as reminders to stimulate you to wholesome thinking. 2 I want you to recall the words spoken in the past by the holy prophets and the command given by our Lord and Savior through your apostles.

3 Above all, you must understand that in the last days scoffers will come, scoffing and following their own evil desires. 4 They will say, “Where is this ‘coming’ he promised? Ever since our ancestors died, everything goes on as it has since the beginning of creation.” 5 But they deliberately forget that long ago by God’s word the heavens came into being and the earth was formed out of water and by water. 6 By these waters also the world of that time was deluged and destroyed. 7 By the same word the present heavens and earth are reserved for fire, being kept for the day of judgment and destruction of the ungodly.

8 But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. 9 The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

10 But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything done in it will be laid bare.[a]

11 Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you to be? You ought to live holy and godly lives 12 as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming.[b] That day will bring about the destruction of the heavens by fire, and the elements will melt in the heat. 13 But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, where righteousness dwells.

I wonder what Jesus himself said about when this event was supposed to occur. I seem to recall something about some of those he was speaking to being alive to witness this event. But as usual, the fact that even Jesus was wrong about such a significant event doesn't seem to faze some people.

Here we have an update on the expected rapture. The world is now supposed to end on Oct. 21 2011.

AP:
[size=14pt]Radio host says world's end actually coming in Oct[/size]

OAKLAND, Calif. – As crestfallen followers of a California preacher who foresaw the world's end strained to find meaning in their lives, Harold Camping revised his apocalyptic prophecy Monday, saying he was off by five months and the Earth actually will be obliterated on Oct. 21.

Camping, who predicted that 200 million Christians would be taken to heaven Saturday before global cataclysm struck the planet, said he felt so terrible when his doomsday message did not come true that he left home and took refuge in a motel with his wife. His independent ministry, Family Radio International, spent millions — some of it from donations made by followers — on more than 5,000 billboards and 20 RVs plastered with the Judgment Day message.

Follower Jeff Hopkins also spent a good deal of his own retirement savings on gas money to power his car so people would see its ominous lighted sign showcasing Camping's May 21 warning. As the appointed day drew nearer, Hopkins started making the 100-mile round trip from Long Island to New York City twice a day, spending at least $15 on gas each trip.

"I've been mocked and scoffed and cursed at and I've been through a lot with this lighted sign on top of my car," said Hopkins, 52, a former television producer who lives in Great River, NY. "I was doing what I've been instructed to do through the Bible, but now I've been stymied. It's like getting slapped in the face."

Camping, who made a special appearance before the press at the Oakland headquarters of the media empire Monday evening, apologized for not having the dates "worked out as accurately as I could have."

Through chatting with a friend over what he acknowledged was a very difficult weekend, it dawned on him that instead of the biblical Rapture in which the faithful would be swept up to the heavens, May 21 had instead been a "spiritual" Judgment Day, which places the entire world under Christ's judgment, he said.

The globe will be completely destroyed in five months, he said, when the apocalypse comes. But because God's judgment and salvation were completed on Saturday, there's no point in continuing to warn people about it, so his network will now just play Christian music and programs until the final end on Oct. 21.

"We've always said May 21 was the day, but we didn't understand altogether the spiritual meaning," he said. "The fact is there is only one kind of people who will ascend into heaven ,  if God has saved them they're going to be caught up."

It's not the first time the 89-year-old retired civil engineer has been dismissed by the Christian mainstream and has been forced to explain when his prediction didn't come to pass. Camping also prophesied the Apocalypse would come in 1994, but said later that didn't happen then because of a mathematical error.

Monday, rather than give his normal daily broadcast, Camping took questions as a part of his show, "Open Forum," which transmits his biblical interpretations via the group's radio stations, TV channels, satellite broadcasts and website.

Camping's hands shook slightly as he pinned his microphone to his lapel, and as he clutched a worn Bible he spoke in a quivery monotone about some listeners' earthly concerns after giving away possessions in expectation of the Rapture.

Family Radio would never tell anyone what they should do with their belongings, and those who had fewer would cope, Camping said.

"We're not in the business of financial advice," he said. "We're in the business of telling people there's someone who you can maybe talk to, maybe pray to, and that's God."

But he also said that he wouldn't give away all his possessions ahead of Oct 21.

"I still have to live in a house, I still have to drive a car," he said. "What would be the value of that? If it is Judgment Day why would I give it away?"

Apocalyptic thinking has always been part of American religious life and popular culture. Teachings about the end of the world vary dramatically — even within faith traditions — about how they will occur.

Still, the overwhelming majority of Christians reject the idea that the exact date or time of Jesus' return can be predicted.

Tim LaHaye, co-author of the best-selling "Left Behind" novels about the end times, recently called Camping's prediction "not only bizarre but 100 percent wrong!" He cited the Bible verse Matthew 24:36, "but about that day or hour no one knows" except God.

"While it may be in the near future, many signs of our times certainly indicate so, but anyone who thinks they `know' the day and the hour is flat out wrong," LaHaye wrote on his website, leftbehind.com.

Signs of disappointment also were evident online, where groups that had confidently predicted the Rapture — and, in some cases, had spent money to help spread the word through advertisements — took tentative steps to re-establish Internet presences in the face of widespread mockery.

The Pennsylvania-based group eBible Fellowship still has a website with images of May 21 billboards all over the world, but its Twitter feed has changed over from the increasingly confident predictions before the date to circumspect Bible verses that seem to speak to the confusion and hurt many members likely feel.

Camping offered no clues about Family Radio's finances Monday, saying he could not estimate how much had been spent on getting out his prediction nor how much money the nonprofit had taken in as a result. In 2009, the nonprofit reported in IRS filings that it received $18.3 million in donations, and had assets of more than $104 million, including $34 million in stocks or other publicly traded securities.

Josh Ocasion, who works the teleprompter during Camping's live broadcasts in the group's threadbare studio sandwiched between an auto shop and a palm reader's business, said he enjoyed the production work but he had never fully believed the May 21 prophecy would come true.

"I thought he would show some more human decency in admitting he made a mistake," he said. "We didn't really see that."

___

Associated Press writer Tom Breen in Raleigh, N.C., and Videographer Ted Shaffrey and AP Religion Writer Rachel Zoll in New York, contributed to this report.

So expect the end of the world this October.

thehomer:

I wonder what Jesus himself said about when this event was supposed to occur. I seem to recall something about some of those he was speaking to being alive to witness this event. But as usual, the fact that even Jesus was wrong about such a significant event doesn't seem to faze some people.

False accusation, when did Jesus make such predictions that were wrong? This is btw one of your insincere acts that i complain about. You believe quickly where you think there's a mistake or wrong to nail the christian faith, but to you, it never happened when it talks of great good things.

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False accusation, when did Jesus make such predictions that were wrong? This is btw one of your insincere acts that i complain about. You believe quickly where you think there's a mistake or wrong to nail the christian faith, but to you, it never happened when it talks of great good things.

Found it. Please read it in Matthew 16 towards the end of the chapter. You need to realize that its not about me believing but about me pointing out these inconsistencies at the core of Christian dogma.

thehomer:

Found it. Please read it in Matthew 16 towards the end of the chapter. You need to realize that its not about me believing but about me pointing out these inconsistencies at the core of Christian dogma.

Eureka! you didn't find it. You don't even understand it. Your answer is right in the next couple of verses the next chapter. i sincerely doubt you'd see it though, so why bother.

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Eureka! you didn't find it. You don't even understand it. Your answer is right in the next couple of verses the next chapter. i sincerely doubt you'd see it though, so why bother.

Please explain how the next chapter says anything about some people not dying before the rapture.

thehomer:

Please explain how the next chapter says anything about some people not dying before the rapture.

^
It says no such thing! You make vague and unsubstantiated claims. Why don't you post the relevant verses claiming such here for us to see? I'm afraid you are as confused about the Jesus' return as Harold Camping.

aletheia:

^
It says no such thing! You make vague and unsubstantiated claims. Why don't you post the relevant verses claiming such here for us to see? I'm afraid you are as confused about the Jesus' return as Harold Camping.

Have you read the last two verses of Mat. 16?
Ok. I'll post them below.

Bible:
27 For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father’s glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what they have done.
28 “Truly I tell you, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.”

Now, please explain how I'm confused and how Harold Camping is also confused.

Here, we have another casualty of Mr. Camping's prediction that failed to come true.

The Christian Post:
A 14-year-old girl from Russia was so scared of the May 21 doomsday forecast made by Harold Camping that she committed suicide the same day, investigators said Wednesday.
May 21 was the day that Family Radio preacher Camping said believers would rapture up to heaven ahead of the apocalypse and those left behind on earth would suffer under disasters that would culminate with the destruction of the world on October 21.

Nastya Zachinova, who lived in the Republic of Mari El in Central Russia, believed that the world end on May 21, her family told LifeNews, a Russian tabloid.

“She took this date too close to heart,” the teen's mother, Lyudmila, told LifeNews.

Russia's state-owned news agency, RIA Novosti, reported Wednesday that the girl hanged herself out of fear of Camping's prediction.

Investigator Alexander Kosharin said the girl's behavior changed dramatically when she learned about the radio preacher's predictions, according to RIA Novosti.

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Camping had claimed that earthquakes and the rapture would occur on May 21 at 6 p.m. local time and signal the beginning of the End.

The girl's personal diary entries revealed how terrified she was of the suffering that was to take place. She believed that she was not one of the "righteous" people that would be taken up to heaven but someone who would remain on earth and suffer.

“Whales are trying to beach themselves and birds are dying – it is just the beginning of the end,” Zachinova wrote in her last diary entry, as reported by RIA Novosti.

“We are not righteous people, only they will go to heaven, the others will stay here on Earth to go through terrible sufferings,” she wrote.

“I don’t want to die like the others. That’s why I’ll die now."

The Russian news agency also reported that investigators are looking to see whether the girl had ties to “informal youth groups” or religious sects.

On Monday, Camping addressed his failed May 21 prediction, saying he was mistaken that the judgment would come physically but asserted that he was still correct in predicting the judgment because it did come "spiritually." He justified his new interpretation by saying that God is a loving God who wouldn’t let people suffer on earth for five months. Moreover, no one would be able to survive the apocalyptic events for more than a few days, he added.

After his statement, a reporter informed Camping of news that a mother had attempted to kill herself and two children because she believed in his teaching of the May 21 doomsday.

When Camping heard that the mother did not succeed, he said he felt relieved.

"Murdering is terrible. It's contrary to everything the Bible teaches," said the 89-year-old radio broadcaster. "That would have been a horrible thing if she had done that. That would fill me with sorrow if she would do that. The Bible teaches that we are to save life, not kill."

"I'll tell you. What you just told me is a great relief to me because I would be sick at heart if someone had done such a stupid thing."

When pressed by a reporter on whether he would accept "responsibility for that," Camping answered no.

"I don't have any responsibility. I can't take responsibility for anybody's life. I'm only teaching the Bible," he shot back.

Another countdown clock has commenced and we're now 15 days away from the true rapture of our physical bodies. Who knows, it may turn out to be a nice day for a party since it falls on a Friday.

Please count with me.

Also for the Christians out there, there are numerous organizations that need the total donation of all your worldly possessions since you won't be needing it where you're going.

Please keep watching.

[flash=400,400]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xWQy0CBA08?version=3&amp;hl=en_US&amp[/flash]

We should be on the look out for people flying into the air.