hello Nairaland users
i am in a dilemma now,my boyfriend of 2years my parents wont accept him,they keep coming up with one excuse or the other.its been two years now and he says he is not getting any younger.its either they agree or he moves on.
what do i do?i really love him but i don't know what to do about my parents.
i can't get married knowing they don't approve.

i can't get married knowing they don't approve.

That's the root of your problem. The workaround is to ask your parents for approval when you're about to fall in love with a new guy so you can dump him immediately if they don't approve. The solution is to grow up!

thank u o jare seun

she is not serious

i dont understand your comments guys,so what do i do?

i will grow up like u guys suggest,just wanted to make sure that if i go against their wish people agree with me.thanks guys.

You need to really know what you want in a husband. Can you be with this man forever? Do you understand each other? Those are the issues. I'll advice you to visit a counselor since your parents aren't being helpful.

parents this parents that, do you know their own lives and marriages are more fuked up than anything? they always claim to know best poking their noses, live your life and grow up. Look around you how many families are perfect or truly truly happy in Nigeria?

agreed what everyone said,but parents are still cruical to ensure u are married,i cant see myself getting married without their approval,the question is how should i approach this situation.
they keep sayin its for the best,they have finally met and still want to get to know him more,the way they are sounding,give it another 2 to 3 yrs.put it this way,i cant wait for that long.
how do i convince them to make it sooner

pls help

breaking news,now they say im selfish,wants to get married just after finishing school n gettin a job

As a graduate, you can do what you want. Find a job and a flat and live on your own for a year. Otherwise, you will end up with a controlling husband that treats you exactly the way your parents are treating you now. Yuck!

Sort it out with them. By the way, how old are you?. Are you getting younger or older?

That you just finished school and got a job right? What next as a lady? Time to marry.

All the same take it to God in prayer.

Don't be too eager to sell your new-found freedom (from parents) for a morsel of bread.
Enjoy it for at least a year before jumping into another form of bondage (marriage, African style).

The poster sounds really young.
I hope she's of voting age.

How old are you both? Just finished school but old enough to marry might mean you are both teenagers? In which case your parents are right - you are not a real adult yet and you should wait until you have finished growing up. If he loves you then he won't mind waiting a bit longer.

If you both really are adults, then it's not down to your parents. Also, it's not down to us and it's worrying that you ask for our approval if you can't get your parents approval. This does show that you are not really mature enough to be considering marriage just yet.

Marriage isn't something you should rush into.
Marriage is a life time commitment, it's not just a boy friend/girl friend stuff.
If your parents don't support your relationship with your man, then take a second thought about it (the relationship). Your parents would always want the best for you because you are their daughter.

What is the financial status of your parents? Maybe they want you to work for a while, take care of some of their financial needs before you get married. If that is the case, you can assure them of your assistance to them even when you are married and let your man know the situation.

wow benit are u psychic? thanks i will do that

@ English1 ,@babyosisi
i am almost 24 and he is 32.

You are welcome. It happens. You only need to handle them tactfully as it is better to get married in a peaceful family state except where the situation is really bad and yours does not sound that bad.

Your parents dont have to approve of your marriage.

ladebi:

Your parents don't have to approve of your marriage.

fcurz they do* Any marriage without ur parents blessing is bound to have problems*
Seek God's Intervention, maybe ur parents know something about him that you dont.
Is your boyfrend financially stable although he musn't have to be?
Some parents dont want their children to go and suffer
Talk to your Pastor or family members like uncles and others.

Relationship last longer when your compatible.

ladebi:

Your parents don't have to approve of your marriage.

@ the poster,don't listen to the above advise.
You must sit with your mom and get her on your side regarding the man you love.
Tell her he treats you right (hopefully he does) and that you both love each other dearly.
emphasize all his good qualities.

You must always respect your parents and honor them,they remain constant,men can come and go.
If you get your mom to see reason,dad will follow shortly.

Your parents may have their misgivings for several reasons


Does he have a good job?
do you?
can you both afford a comfortable place to live and have children?
Is he a considerate and polite individual?
any signs of controlling behaviour?
Is he respectful to your people?

one last thing,NEVER,EVER,EVER talk ill of your parents to this guy
You'll regret it!!

Talking is very easy but the action gush it takes years.

Where you persuade your parents in accepting a guy they refuse,you bring another they refuse tell me what will your action be?

abi the guy na osu?

lol.
osereka na wetin?

Oh well, as you are both adults, you don't need your parents blessing.

It's nice to have though. Do you know why they are saying no?

Funny girl, im in a similar situation!!

But in my case its nuthing to do with my parents financial status, but so called 'class'.

They feel my boyfriend isnt of my class and are doing, what they dont understand sometimes is even if someone may not have come from the same background as you doesnt mean they do not have future plans for themselves, ambitions and dreams.

Some1 who is from my so called 'class' may be idol, a layabout with no ambition and a plan of choppin from there folkes pockets till thy kingdom come!!

Anway, my advice to you is, to advice your guy to be patient, If he really loves you, he WILL wait a little while you continue to persuade your parents you will continue to assist them financially while your married, so there is no need to fear on there part,

I must say though for the fact they have given you a reason as to why they dont want you to get married yet (financial assistance) it is selfish on there part,