My friend is currently going through a divorce in the UK and having a hell of a time. His wife mounted as many allegations on him as possible during separation - domestic violence, marital rape, child abuse, drugs and alcohol use, adultery, forgery just to name a few. He had to leave the house. He has moved to a room in a shared house and now even struggling to pay the rent. He does not see his kids anymore (not by choice). He is very broke and in debt because of all that is going on. He can no longer afford a lawyer. He feels so powerless, helpless and hopeless that he cannot fight most of what his wife is putting him through in court. He represents himself these days.

He has stopped looking after himself and is always looking sad . He also lost his job due to his arrest and all the drama. He was arrested because he tried to go see his kids at his former home and his wife called the police that she was afraid of him and that he had come to harass her. Police arrested him even without any traces of any harassment. Note that he moved out of the family house voluntarily thinking that the period of separation would ease tension between him and his wife.

I always feel sad seeing him in this state and just wish that he could recover and bounce back. He is considering moving back to Nigeria.

Have you gone through divorce in the UK or do you know anyone who has? What was the experience and what advice would you give someone going through this?

Thank you.

There's legal aid in UK so if it can't afford a lawyer, the govt will pay for one. If he can't afford to pay rent them he must have been a leech

so sad...[img]

Or11:
There's legal aid in UK so if it can't afford a lawyer, the govt will pay for one. If he can't afford to pay rent them he must have been a leech

What if he has no recourse to public fund?
Did you read where it was said he lost his job and he has spent on legal fees.
You don't need to be insensitive unless you know beyond what has been written by the OP.

thiagoteres:

What if he has no recourse to public fund?
Did you read where it was said he lost his job and he has spent on legal fees.
You don't need to be insensitive unless you know beyond what has been written by the OP.

If he doesn't have access to public funds then he is living there illegally. Losing his job is his fault too.

It is well...just advise him to stop contesting the terms of the divorce except to clear his name. I wish him goodluck.

Or11:


If he doesn't have access to public funds then he is living there illegally. Losing his job is his fault too.

I am going to presumed you have a settled status in the UK. For those still on visas, they have no recourse to public funds. It is also not unusual for him to be suspended from work pending the outcome of trial/investigation due to the the severity of the allegations.
@Op;i would suggest the person attempt to clear his name if he is innocent.There should be no room for sentiments while doing that and he should damn any consequences. Those allegations have already set in on the path of ruins and he should not allow any emotions cloud his judgement.

thiagoteres:


I am going to presumed you have a settled status in the UK. For those still on visas, they have no recourse to public funds. It is also not unusual for him to be suspended from work pending the outcome of trial/investigation due to the the severity of the allegations.
@Op;i would suggest the person attempt to clear his name if he is innocent.There should be no room for sentiments while doing that and he should damn any consequences. Those allegations have already set in on the path of ruins and he should not allow any emotions cloud his judgement.

It's not Nigeria where the workplace dabbles in personal matters. They will be sued. With regards settled status, I lived in UK with an expired travel visa for years and when I got arrested for driving offenses, I was provided with a solicitor through legal aid.

Or11:


It's not Nigeria where the workplace dabbles in personal matters. They will be sued. With regards settled status, I lived in UK with an expired travel visa for years and when I got arrested for driving offenses, I was provided with a solicitor through legal aid.

It depends on the kind of jobs. For jobs that involve working with vulnerable people there is little distinction between personal or work life. When he was arrested he would have been offered a solicitor before giving his statement but this does not extend to court hearings.
This guy is in deep shit. He is staring at a possible criminal conviction and even been placed on sex offender register. The trouble has not even started yet for him. He would need to clear his name if he is innocent. No point running when you are innocent.

thiagoteres:

It depends on the kind of jobs. For jobs that involve working with vulnerable people there is little distinction between personal or work life. When he was arrested he would have been offered a solicitor before giving his statement but this does not extend to court hearings.
This guy is in deep shit. He is staring at a possible criminal conviction and even been placed on sex offender register. The trouble has not even started yet for him. He would need to clear his name if he is innocent. No point running when you are innocent.

The solicitor extends to court hearing, I have had many court appearances where I didn't pay shishi for lawyer. If just one of the allegations against him is true then he's doing time for sure. Man imagine a man with kids forging documents or even beating up the wife or raping her. I can recommend some good jails in UK so he just needs to turn himself in at the police station near those jails and he will be alright

I hope your brother is innocent. I wish him fair justice.

Alcohol use and adultery are not crimes. I doubt he was charged to court with that. Seems exaggerated. She might accuse him of those, but no one will drag him to court for using alcohol or cheating.

However if he did physically abuse his kids & his wife, or if he forged anything relating to his paperwork to stay in and work in the country, then he’s in for a hard time. I hope he’s innocent of those allegations.

Marital rape might be very hard to prove.

Na wa o

Divorce first

MejiLoyon:
Divorce first

The divorce part no easy. It's not like here where you can tell your partner to geddifok and the extended family will handle the rest of the divorce proceedings. No, in the west, the system will drag you by your balls while you scream for mercy. They will squeeze those balls until your voice turns soprano

Ishilove:

The divorce part no easy. It's not like here where you can tell your partner to geddifok and the extended family will handle the rest of the divorce proceedings. No, in the west, the system will drag you by your balls while you scream for mercy. They will squeeze those balls until your voice turns soprano

Ishilove..

MejiLoyon:

Ishilove...

Shit happens but we use it as manure to grow. The heart is malleable, you know, and time heals most wounds. Most

We grow, we learn and we move on, and here you are writing stuff on Nairaland for fun. Just for laughs.

The heart is malleable indeedy.

Ishilove:

The divorce part no easy. It's not like here where you can tell your partner to geddifok and the extended family will handle the rest of the divorce proceedings. No, in the west, the system will drag you by your balls while you scream for mercy. They will squeeze those balls until your voice turns soprano

Ishilove:

Shit happens but we use it as manure to grow. The heart is malleable, you know, and time heals most wounds. Most

We grow, we learn and we move on, and here you are writing stuff on Nairaland for fun. Just for laughs.

The heart is malleable indeedy.

Some things can't be said on a public forum no matter how anonymous it is. So I'll have to agree with you.

ASUNDER:
My friend is currently going through a divorce in the UK and having a hell of a time. His wife mounted as many allegations on him as possible during separation - domestic violence, marital rape, child abuse, drugs and alcohol use, adultery, forgery just to name a few. He had to leave the house. He has moved to a room in a shared house and now even struggling to pay the rent. He does not see his kids anymore (not by choice). He is very broke and in debt because of all that is going on. He can no longer afford a lawyer. He feels so powerless, helpless and hopeless that he cannot fight most of what his wife is putting him through in court. He represents himself these days.

He has stopped looking after himself and is always looking sad . He also lost his job due to his arrest and all the drama. He was arrested because he tried to go see his kids at his former home and his wife called the police that she was afraid of him and that he had come to harass her. Police arrested him even without any traces of any harassment. Note that he moved out of the family house voluntarily thinking that the period of separation would ease tension between him and his wife.

I always feel sad seeing him in this state and just wish that he could recover and bounce back. He is considering moving back to Nigeria.

Have you gone through divorce in the UK or do you know anyone who has? What was the experience and what advice would you give someone going through this?

Thank you.

I am beginning to think that some stories on this forum is fake. He can't afford a lawyer? Where is citizen advice bureau? What you didn't tell us is where is your mate wife from white or African because 8 out of 10 white lady wont do all the pictures you've painted especial seeing his kids. Where is legal aid? Too good to be true story. He can take time off work unless he is agency worker his company cant sacked him cuz he was arrested

ASUNDER:
My friend is currently going through a divorce in the UK and having a hell of a time. His wife mounted as many allegations on him as possible during separation - domestic violence, marital rape, child abuse, drugs and alcohol use, adultery, forgery just to name a few. He had to leave the house. He has moved to a room in a shared house and now even struggling to pay the rent. He does not see his kids anymore (not by choice). He is very broke and in debt because of all that is going on. He can no longer afford a lawyer. He feels so powerless, helpless and hopeless that he cannot fight most of what his wife is putting him through in court. He represents himself these days.

He has stopped looking after himself and is always looking sad . He also lost his job due to his arrest and all the drama. He was arrested because he tried to go see his kids at his former home and his wife called the police that she was afraid of him and that he had come to harass her. Police arrested him even without any traces of any harassment. Note that he moved out of the family house voluntarily thinking that the period of separation would ease tension between him and his wife.

I always feel sad seeing him in this state and just wish that he could recover and bounce back. He is considering moving back to Nigeria.

Have you gone through divorce in the UK or do you know anyone who has? What was the experience and what advice would you give someone going through this?

Thank you.

Council do put people in a house benefit hostel all what u post here is too good to be true

thiagoteres:

What if he has no recourse to public fund?
Did you read where it was said he lost his job and he has spent on legal fees.
You don't need to be insensitive unless you know beyond what has been written by the OP.

He is not insensitive you aren't the only one in uk call citizens advice bureau tomorrow they are there help even if he doesn't have documents they are going to help

Or11:


If he doesn't have access to public funds then he is living there illegally. Losing his job is his fault too.

He is in uk illegally but he has kids with this woman so how can he not use his kids legal status to renew his document

Citizens advice bureau give free divorce lawyers? In this same UK where I live? Are you kidding me bro?

AwesomeStormy00:


He is in uk illegally but he has kids with this woman so how can he not use his kids legal status to renew his document

He is legal.

ASUNDER:
Citizens advice bureau give free divorce lawyers? In this same UK where I live? Are you kidding me bro?

I don't know but one ca get advice through citizens advice bureau and one can get legal aid too. Some of us live here and we all know how things work.

ASUNDER:
My friend is currently going through a divorce in the UK and having a hell of a time. His wife mounted as many allegations on him as possible during separation - domestic violence, marital rape, child abuse, drugs and alcohol use, adultery, forgery

All these in one man, or is she out to destroy him? She must have evidence of these allegations, to have made them. However, if he's innocent, then he shouldn't lose hope but should get himself a good Lawyer.

MejiLoyon:

Some things can't be said on a public forum no matter how anonymous it is. So I'll have to agree with you.

.
Wanna share off the forum? I have a saviour complex

It's normal to have financial setbacks during a separation but don't worry hell be able to stand on his fit again.
As long as he is willing to.
He should not make so much stress about the children since it is going this way.

thiagoteres:

What if he has no recourse to public fund?
Did you read where it was said he lost his job and he has spent on legal fees.
You don't need to be insensitive unless you know beyond what has been written by the OP.

He should be entitled to income support and housing benefit, as well as legal aid.

He was arrested because he tried to go see his kids at his former home and his wife called the police that she was afraid of him and that he had come to harass her.

What he should not have done is go and visit his children without the court's permission. By doing so and getting arrested, he has stupidly provided evidence for his wife's claim of harassment!

ASUNDER:
Citizens advice bureau give free divorce lawyers? In this same UK where I live? Are you kidding me bro?

No, he is not kidding you bro. He should get legal aid too to pay for a lawyer.

Or11:

The solicitor extends to court hearing, I have had many court appearances where I didn't pay shishi for lawyer. If just one of the allegations against him is true then he's doing time for sure. Man imagine a man with kids forging documents or even beating up the wife or raping her. I can recommend some good jails in UK so he just needs to turn himself in at the police station near those jails and he will be alright

Lol!

ASUNDER:
Citizens advice bureau give free divorce lawyers? In this same UK where I live? Are you kidding me bro?

His problem pass divorce issue please.
He is being accused of child abuse and marital rape. All criminal offences. He was also arrested when he went to see his children. An altercation must have ensued or he went there after the court told him not to do so, otherwise he wouldn't have been arrested.