Good evening.
Just now, I didn't greet my dad after eating my dinner. Not that I don't want to but each time I try, the words hook in my throats. Note that I'm not a stammerer, neither does it happen in my mom's case. Just like this morning, I walked past my dad without uttering a word of greeting. He later complained about it not realizing that I actually wanted to, but the words just didn't flow.

Meanwhile, my father is a strict man, and has succeeded in instilling fear in me towards him when I was a boy. He would scold and flog me thoroughly if I make any slightest mistake. This has savoured the relationship I have with him.

Furthermore, he has anger issue, so tends to dish out instructions with a harsh voice. There's no father and son discussion between us. The little talk we do have is usually done standing. I'm sorry to say that he lacks humour too. You might end up annoying while trying to make him jolly.

I'm really concerned because I'm his first child and only son. I need to make things right.

You should study his mood, and call him privately when he's in a good mood. You should have a heart to heart talk with him, let him know you feel bad about the relationship between both of you. Let him realise how much you need him (not financially, but emotionally) and always be respectful at all times. No matter the consequences. You father will always be your father. You need to bring your ego down and just be humble

Gucciboy1:
You should study his mood, and call him privately when he's in a good mood. You should have a heart to heart talk with him, let him know you feel bad about the relationship between both of you. Let him realise how much you need him (not financially, but emotionally) and always be respectful at all times. No matter the consequences. You father will always be your father. You need to bring your ego down and just be humble

Try to do what this commenter has said.

However,have it at the back of your mind that your dad may not change.Don't let it bother you.Develop that relationship with your mom and don't worry about your dad.
Bid your time with him in his house until you can be on your own.
Some dads change as they age and the kids leave the house.They begin to value the relationship then.

Try to leave home or not be at home everytime. There's nothing you can do to change him. NOTHING!

mekusmanuel:
Good evening.
Just now, I didn't greet my dad after eating my dinner. Not that I don't want to but each time I try, the words hook in my throats. Note that I'm not a stammerer, neither does it happen in my mom's case. Just like this morning, I walked past my dad without uttering a word of greeting. He later complained about it not realizing that I actually wanted to, but the words just didn't flow.

Meanwhile, my father is a strict man, and has succeeded in instilling fear in me towards him when I was a boy. He would scold and flog me thoroughly if I make any slightest mistake. This has savoured the relationship I have with him.

Furthermore, he has anger issue, so tends to dish out instructions with a harsh voice. There's no father and son discussion between us. The little talk we do have is usually done standing. I'm sorry to say that he lacks humour too. You might end up annoying while trying to make him jolly.

I'm really concerned because I'm his first child and only son. I need to make things right.

Every morning when you wake up, go straight to him, prostrate and say good morning Sir, that's what a well brought up son will do.
You can't be living in his house and refuse to greet him. His anger issues is none of your business. Do your bit and get out when you're ready.
I can't believe your Mom refused to caution you.

Provided that your father has never doubted/doesn't have evidence that you aren't his biological child, and he's mentally sound, then you are the cause of your sour relationship with him; if that is the case, take to obedience in particular and responsibleness in general, you'll see wonders happen in your relationship with him.

Eschew conceit, self-absorption, greed; expunge yourself of prejudice (no matter the source), and show that he has a dependable ally in you.

@ mekusmanuel

Greet, esteem and obey him when necessary but don't try to bond emotionally more with him. You may eventually end up irritating him the more and you'll get more insults and ridicule.

Just give him a little space emotionally for some weeks. This would likely make him realise and reference your importantance to him sooner or later.

Sometimes to draw people closer, you have to give them a little distance.

mekusmanuel:
Good evening.
Just now, I didn't greet my dad after eating my dinner. Not that I don't want to but each time I try, the words hook in my throats. Note that I'm not a stammerer, neither does it happen in my mom's case. Just like this morning, I walked past my dad without uttering a word of greeting. He later complained about it not realizing that I actually wanted to, but the words just didn't flow.

Meanwhile, my father is a strict man, and has succeeded in instilling fear in me towards him when I was a boy. He would scold and flog me thoroughly if I make any slightest mistake. This has savoured the relationship I have with him.

Furthermore, he has anger issue, so tends to dish out instructions with a harsh voice. There's no father and son discussion between us. The little talk we do have is usually done standing. I'm sorry to say that he lacks humour too. You might end up annoying while trying to make him jolly.

I'm really concerned because I'm his first child and only son. I need to make things right.

Your not alone bro..greet and thank him..save money and look for accommodation outside.

1. Respect him.

2. Move out asap.

You are living in his house and ain't greeting him, damn that's wrong.

Force out the greeting, have you heard of salutation is not love.

Greeting him should be done perfunctorily and make arrangements to move out as absence makes the heart grow fonder.

mekusmanuel:
Good evening.
Just now, I didn't greet my dad after eating my dinner. Not that I don't want to but each time I try, the words hook in my throats. Note that I'm not a stammerer, neither does it happen in my mom's case. Just like this morning, I walked past my dad without uttering a word of greeting. He later complained about it not realizing that I actually wanted to, but the words just didn't flow.

Meanwhile, my father is a strict man, and has succeeded in instilling fear in me towards him when I was a boy. He would scold and flog me thoroughly if I make any slightest mistake. This has savoured the relationship I have with him.

Furthermore, he has anger issue, so tends to dish out instructions with a harsh voice. There's no father and son discussion between us. The little talk we do have is usually done standing. I'm sorry to say that he lacks humour too. You might end up annoying while trying to make him jolly.

I'm really concerned because I'm his first child and only son. I need to make things right.

You have grown now and he can no longer beat you

Great him anytime you come across or have need for

If you are not close to your dad be sure to be close to your mum so that you will have one of them at your back

But your dad will have to surfer that gap he created because the synergy was never created

beautyhd:
You are living in his house and ain't greeting him, damn that's wrong.

Force out the greeting, have you heard of salutation is not love.

Greeting him should be done perfunctorily and make arrangements to move out as absence makes the heart grow fonder.

That's the only place the OP is getting it wrong.

No matter how bad your parents are, you should respect them, especially when you are still under their care.

A lot of parents are bad at parenting sha.

frozen70:


You have grown now and he can no longer beat you

Great him anytime you come across or have need for

If you are not close to your dad be sure to be close to your mum so that you will have one of them at your back

But your dad will have to surfer that gap he created because the synergy was never created

I'm pretty in good terms with my mom.

mekusmanuel:


I'm pretty in good terms with my mom.

That's all you need

OP you need to look for a way to resolve this. You can also discuss this with your mum. In my own opinion I feel he deserve all the respect you can give him.

strict, not wicked.

do you have any idea on how your father's childhood was?

his main crime is trying to install discipline in you.

don't worry,
don't greet him,
don't have discussions with him,
one day, God will call him,
you will so need to talk to him, even if his replies should be slaps,
but he won't be there anymore.


you no get respect