Young man, if u know u are ready mentally, psychologically and spiritually go ahead and marry.Dont listen to people who discourage u from getting married, they thought is until one is 30 years and above that he is matured for marriage.They prefer you to continue to wallow in fornication than marrying.This happened to my good friend, he told the girl to go and find another man, thinking that he is too young to marry.Eventually he married a woman who is demonically possesed, and the woman finished the man up, the man business collapsed, he took to alcoholic and became a first class drunk.Last year, he died miserably.Dont listen to them is good to marry woman at your youthful age.Just seek the face of God and go ahead Thanks.

Golden147:
Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too.
My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.

I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me.
I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this.
It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears.
I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.

Matured advice please

Your mum has already given you sound advice vide the bolded part of your post.

Modified: but you said you are still in school How do you cater for the financial needs of your marital home

Follow your heart

.


This thread seem like a Déjà vu to me..... From the first comment to the last one on the front-page, I have read something of such before.


Well, Son you have my blessing. Marry the girl and build your life with her. Challenges will come married or not, and having someone by your side will be a good motivation to face it.


.

Golden147:


Lol...I know this advice will eventually surface...but let me ask you.. How do you know a man who is ready for marriage, does age count too or it's because I added my age and her age??

Bro, you need to really know what marriage is before you venture it.

Go to people that are married for at least 5 years and talk to them.

Tell them to pls tell you the truth about marriage.

Meet at least 3 different couples

As for me, I'll advice you to take marriage off your mind for now.

If you dump her, how are you sure the next girl you’re going to meet won’t come with family baggages?

See ehn, family responsibilities are like wahala, e no dey ever finish. Your girl appears very cool, nice, supportive and appreciative. Don’t leave her because of her siblings. Once you’re married, draw a line regarding the extent you can support her family with. I’m sure she will support whatever you decide.

If at least 3 or 4 of her brothers aren't financially stable as in working and independent, please don't marry at least not now.

I am not in a position to advise you to marry or not marry the girl. You'll still go ahead and make your own decision in the end, judging from the way you've been responding to advice here. But I am worried whether at all you're taking the right steps.

You mentioned that both you and the girl in question are students. Obviously your parents are the ones shouldering financial responsibility for your education. But you took upon yourself the burden of bearing responsibility for the girlfriend's education. That's irresponsibility on your own part, if I may say so. How many of your own sisters and younger ones did you even assist in paying their school fees?

Your parents decided to take on the burden of sending you to school so that one day you would assist in paying school fees of the younger ones. But if you finished training that girl in school and she ended up marrying someone else, it would have been a fruitless effort.

Golden147:
Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too.
My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.

I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me.
I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this.
It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears.
I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.

Matured advice please

She's a good lady. Don't leave her o. Thank God she's on your side concerning this issue so it can be sorted out with wisdom. Sooner or later, your brother in laws to be will face reality and find their own ways.
So, stick with your lady, she's yours.
Kindly invite me for the wedding o.
Cheers and congratulations on advance.

Golden147:
Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too.
My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.

I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me.
I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this.
It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears.
I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.

Matured advice please

Sounds like you are still a student who is yet to graduate. I don’t know if you have a business or you are from a well to do background. How have you been acquiring the money you use to support the girl? Marriage is no joke. Love alone will not sustain it. There are bills to pay and as children start coming, your financial responsibilities will keep increasing. At 24 & 22 you both are still very young. Why don’t both of you consider going for masters degree to improve your opportunities in the job market or better still learn a skill that will help you get a side hussle which can generate an income? When you are both able to bring an income, Atleast you can support one another. Think about it.

It was you first cause this problem, may be before you date her u shows that u are a rich man or have accesses of incomes. And u are ready to take any responsibilities for her, this is where the problem occur.

I'm married with a son ..if you want a honest heart to heart advice send me a mail I will give you my WhatsApp number...one thing I will tell you is be patient with yourself...

shortgun:
Please go for your girl and disregard any other advice you got here.
You will surely regret it in the future if you miss this girl......you don't know what you have.

You are perfectly ready for marriage and matured enough to have a happy home if you decide to become a man.
I don't know the kind of "men" we have these days that will always run away from little challenges and miss the prize at stake.
Don't let anyone discourage you, your woman is the big prize, her brothers are obstacles you need to overlook/ignore/manage to claim your prize.

Winning battles or learning from them is how boys become men not running away from every little problem.

As you navigate through life, you will face battles, challenges and obstacles....how many will you run from?
how long will you continue to run?

You make sense

Bros please put this in prayer, marriage no be beans, she might be all good and nice but people change, after you begin to realize some hidden features (yourself and you babe inclusive), also how long have you known each other; atleast 2yrs (I'm just using this as a random time frame, because time na very strong revealer too).
The brodas milking you is not a nice one but you can always handle that.
I wish you well in your choice of action bro.

My guy finish school first oh.. No go dey think say you don win her family heart oh.. This life no balance oh. Shine your eyes well well..

In this life, you take smart chances.

seunmsg:
If you dump her, how are you sure the next girl you’re going to meet won’t come with family baggages?

See ehn, family responsibilities are like wahala, e no dey ever finish. Your girl appears very cool, nice, supportive and appreciative. Don’t leave her because of her siblings. Once you’re married, draw a line regarding the extent you can support her family with. I’m sure she will support whatever you decide.

So this is how stupid I must have been asking for relationship advice in my teenage years..guy leave all this puppy love and focus on your studies and life in general, you never reach anywhere yet you dey talk of marriage just because the toto still tight.


NB: no mind the silly girl she no go commit suicide ,this life when sweet die for women, highest she go be runs girl and buy Range Rover in a year, no fear jare.

Golden147:
Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too.
My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.

I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me.
I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this.
It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears.
I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.

Matured advice please

At 24 you are still very young. I would advise you to wait a bit and watch carefully how things go.

my brother I don't think you have anything to worry about.
except you want to tell us that you don't love her anymore, you can't because of the brothers and decide not to marry the one u love.
apart from this issue you raised, is there any fault on the girl are you really compatible with her? if yes then go ahead and make her your wife and forget about irrelevant issues

Do you love this girl? If yes go ahead and marry her if that makes you and your mother happy. As for her brothers, do what you can conviniently give no more no less. You're marrying their sister not the whole family. For the age thing, once you believe you're psychologically ok go ahead after all the earlier the better. Best of luck.

Yusufisraelj:


You've said nothing sincerely.



@Golden147 the above advise is the best so far here, in this part of the world, people do things late and think it's okay! Most of the people in Nigeria, the major set back is finances else they should have settled down, a friend of ours in US married at 21, then we were about getting into uni, he has a daughter right now that's about 9 years old and a loving family.

However I must add, you are not managing third party interferences well in your relationship. Your obligation is to your lady not her siblings, they have parents for God sake, it's the responsibility of the parents to provide for them, if you support you're doing that as a choice not an obligation and none of her siblings should bully her when you refuse, warn them sternly and put it forward to the parents, that you'll only assist when you have and when you don't nobody should bully your lady or you'll call the police, just saying but you get the point!

More importantly make sure your woman obtains a skill that fetches her good money or she should obtain one. You goal right now is to build yourself and your lady spiritually, relationally (keep genuine people only in your space), mindset (read about marriage and life together), finances (understand how to seriously deal with poverty), Health (understand how to stay healthy) and your Career (learn how to expand your knowledge and become very competent in your skill or business)

This man spoke well just like the other man in the beginning part. Bro the part I highlighted is important. I'm especially worried because it seems some of these brothers of hers aren't very responsible in character and behavior. Another worrying thing though is that your woman doesn't seem to have content. Granted she seem like a good woman but it's totally awful to know that she could entertain those dreadful thoughts in the case of any disappointment (prostitution and suicide). As for you, you are a man. I believe that you can always try to handle matters to the advantage of you and your partner.

Marriage is a spiritual , mental, psychologically bla bla bla .......

This dude ( OP) said he wants to marry just as you woke up one day to decide to marry, did you go for a test to check your mental, spiritual, emotional bla bla bla in any lab office??

His problem is just the in-laws brothers that are yet to wake up to reality and face the world ......

I think the O.P has come to a stage of knowing his problems than being sentimental or emotionally enslaved....thus he is ready for marriage.....
And he has already started the journey as well by sustaining the fiancee brothers...a decision of trying to be responsible to the wife's family...

O.P now you have to build up what we call scale of Preference with your wife to be, like saying....... this is what comes in every month, it may not necessary be true....then this is what I can give your people or I may not be able to give them anything again...... yes.... say it and throw away your face, what shall be shall be...
You may even find out that you are the one spoiling the boys later....

Marry your wife and park up , marriage apart from the primary reason of being responsible , catering for your family, every other person is a secondary aspect.....which their catering is based on your decision and having a good wife who doesn't support them is a gain as well.....but they will surely disturb her from how lazy you described them...

Know it also that married life is taking decisions and standing by it,and the decisions you take should be backed by another action....which can come from channeling your wife's family problem to a Business or marking out a plan on how to assist the brothers from time to time...

You should carry everyone along but don't let everyone carry you along in their problems....

Golden147:
Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too.
My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.

I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me.
I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this.
It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears.
I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.

Matured advice please

/
Don't marry her unless she is willing to draw a boundary with her brothers. Don't marry out of pity.
If she wants to accommodate their shenanigans, then you are in a deep mess.

Stop giving money to her brothers. Her reactions to that will guide you.

/

anthonyuncle:


being matured is beyond riches and material possessions.
a little quake in your life can shatter everything you say you own.

your psychological and mental state is still shaking

If he feels he is ready for marriage then let him be. Age doesn't determine maturity.

There is no reason why you shouldn't get married to her. She seems to have sense and understand that her brothers are wrong.

Golden147:


Smile, yes bro...

Maybe because I didn't add I have got a house (4 bedroom flat) land properties too... what I don't have now as a man is car bro... anyways I won't dig deep about myself... I know myself just want to be sure of my marriage...
In my community a young guy at 22 that knows what his doing can get marry and settle perfectly fine...

What delayed me till now is my education.. I hope you understand now?

At this stage marriage should be the last thing on ur mind focus .

Herrick:
Pray about it.

I really don't see anything wrong here, since you said she's a good girl, you can marry her.
Nobody will force Money out your pocket, you know?
Discipline yourself, and let your YES be YES and NO be NO. don't give out like father Christmas unless its necessary, and no dey always carry yourself as if you get money..learn how to form broke sometimes.

When you are confused on matter, abeg take am to God, he will surely reveal.

Apt man, simple and precise. OP this is the advice you're looking for.

Golden147:
Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too.
My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.

I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me.
I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this.
It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears.
I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.

Matured advice please

Op you will know when you are ready...to settle down maritally without fear..

1, It is not your job to pay your girlfriend school expense , that is the job of her mum and dad. Do not be a Simp
2, I do not blame her bros because since you are paying for her school expense , you might as well pay for her brothers too . Her bros know this and so I do not blame them at all

anthonyuncle:


being matured is beyond riches and material possessions.
a little quake in your life can shatter everything you say you own.

your psychological and mental state is still shaking

pls, just shut up

Golden147:
Good afternoon everyone..
Please I'm kindly in need of advice... ignore my typing ERROR..
There's this girl I love and I want to settle down with her. She's still in school while I'm still in school too. She's 22 while I'm 24 nd also in final YR and we both love each other..my mum has supported me to marry her.
I proposed to her and she said yes...I plan going her house next month next to start official martial rites but I'm afraid.
Here is my reasons

She's the only girl and the last daughter in a family of 5boys. Ever since we started dating, she's in 100l then, all her school burdens are on me..I take care of her and mine own...with this people around who knows about our RELATIONSHIP ask me to marry her to avoid story that touches the heart..which he has accepted , her mum nd dad have accepted it too.
My major concern about this girl is that those his brothers are not willing to do anything, istead the came asking me for small small money when I'm back, knowing fully I'm just dating thier sis....most times the my girl always feel ashamed of her brothers nd keep cursing them. The can't even call her on phone unless she calls them...nd the will keep asking why she didn't call them all this while knowing fully thier sister is in school nd not working.

I have thought about this over and over again, how do I marry from a family that can't even assist in anything...I know marriage is not always Rosy, what if something happens tomorrow nd I needed thier financial support..the can't render to me.
I discussed with my mum nd she told me I'm marrying thier sister who is well trained nd not the brother..that I can decide not to give them money again... But I'm very sad over this.
It's only the father and mum that acknowledge I hay been trying to see their sister through school expenses, including food and wears.
I discussed with my woman, she started crying, saying she knows her brothers are such a disgrace, telling me how she may commite sucide if I didn't marry her... She cried that she can't visits her house again... that her only hope will be to start prostitution which she can't see herself do that nd that's why she is going to commite sucide if I eventually leave her, all her social media handle is full with my picture, including her profile pictures.

Please what advice do you have for me.... should I let go of this girl, I don't mind letting go all I have already spent...I just want to make sure I won't regret the marriage tomorrow...I have already discussed with my mom nd we plan on going her house officially by August ending..but I'm still very worried.

Matured advice please

Marry her na. Abi t0t0 dey hungry you. If you marry her, I can’t guarantee that you will see 30 years birthday sha