I just come across a thread about this topic and felt like contributing on it.

https://www.nairaland.com/6703059/struggling-hard-money-hasnt-come

Guys, I will not beat around the bush, getting married when you are not financially bouyant is the greatest mistake that can NEVER be corrected, infact, it's a sin and against natural laws to bring someone's daughter to your house when you are struggling to take care of yourself and consequently starts laying foundation of poverty that will last for generations if not forever.

WHY?

Experience is the best teacher, I'm a victim of such circumstances and I know what I face in that type of marriage and is still facing. When you make such mistake, you will start sleeping abnormally which is the first sign of things to come, it will then lead to over thinking and depression. Forget about family members, no one will be there to help you when you needed their help. Begging to feed or meet your financial obligations is even worst cos first, the insults you will receive can make you commit suicide, and if you start this begging, people will always give you fake promises, the time that you would have used in doing productive something will be on moving from one place to another or staying online to reply people. Forget about all this motivational speakers cos you will only see another motivational quote from them when the sh*t hits the fan.

Secondly, the saying that someone obtain favor from Whatever God when you are Married is also false to some extent, God don't pour manna from heaven this days as was reported in the Bible (don't know if this is even true), get married and sit at home waiting for favor from the Lord and see if you didn't die of hunger within days.

Most painful part is that, you may end up suffering for another person children ignorantly, HOW?

Let me give an example, I went to one politician for help and this man told me to back later, he later sent someone to call my wife and start telling her to sleep with him (heavy pregnant woman o) before he can help. I was lucky that my wife told me about it with proof of what the man was doing, that was the day I stopped calling him. Now, what if she agreed without telling me and continued after she birth?

Guys, hustle and settle down first marriage and thank me later.

Lastly, all this girls will keep telling you that I will manage, I will manage, but if they finally come and stay with you, they will not manage again. Infact, that is how some women have finally taken over their houses and start maltreating the husbands for been weak.

In a nutshell, I'm of the opinion that a guy should hustle and have money, hustle hard again and have more money before he can start thinking of marriage.

Very correct..

Kondomatic:
You're right sir

Thanks

lilvicky68:
Very correct..

That thread was v misleading, I just hope that someone will not take it to heart and regret later

In this kind of economy and society, why would anyone, sane man, marry without any source of income?

Why? Why?

all you people are looking at marriage with a failed vision.... you dont need money to get married, marriage is just an extention of a r/ship sealed by a useless piece of paper....if you guys were broke and could date happily, then there is no reason why you couldnt get married and still be happy. the problem here is that all you people are thinking that a broke couple should do exactly the same thing as one with money, while the couple with little money needs to ADAPT TO THEIR SITUATION until they have enough money to care for a family (aka children etc)

a lot of people are quick to call a man/woman broke because they only have money to take care of their own needs, but the reality is that there are many people who are broke because they paid their rent, put food in the fridge and paid their bills etc. if 2 broke people join hands, then they can EASILY live happily ever after (so long as they dont try to add to their family). so a broke married couple needs to take contraception, need to cut their coat according to their situation and they need to work towards getting a better life situation in order to have kids etc

it takes money for a single person to take care of their basic need... its called LIFE and everyone should be able to take care of their basic needs before thinking of marriage, same for married ones. you dont need "more" money to get married than the money you each had to take care of your basic needs, if your spouse cant/couldnt take care of their basic needs then you shouldnt get married and that person should sort that part of their lives 1st before thinking of getting married, as they are a LIABILITY

as for your hustle statement, no wonder so many men fail in marriage when they think that having money to take care of a liability is the solution to their problem....a liability is a LIABILITY whether you bring more money to the table or not.

decatalyst:
In this kind of economy and society, why would anyone sane man marry without any source of income?

Why? Why?

Some circumstances will make you to take such decision. But it's not good to advice someone to marry empty hand. The suffering no be here

MrBrownJay1:
all you people are looking at marriage with a failed vision.... you dont need money to get married, marriage is just an extention of a r/ship sealed by a useless piece of paper....if you guys were broke and could date happily, then there is no reason why you couldnt get married and still be happy. the problem here is that all you people are thinking that a broke couple should do exactly the same thing as one with money, while the couple with little money needs to ADAPT TO THEIR SITUATION until they have enough money to care for a family (aka children etc)

a lot of people are quick to call a man/woman broke because they only have money to take care of their own needs, but the reality is that there are many people who are broke because they paid their rent, put food in the fridge and paid their bills etc. if 2 broke people join hands, then they can EASILY live happily ever after (so long as they dont try to add to their family). so a broke married couple needs to take contraception, need to cut their coat according to their situation and they need to work towards getting a better life situation in order to have kids etc

it takes money for a single person to take care of their basic need... its called LIFE and everyone should be able to take care of their basic needs before thinking of marriage, same for married ones. you dont need "more" money to get married than the money you each had to take care of your basic needs, if your spouse cant/couldnt take care of their basic needs then you shouldnt get married and that person should sort that part of their lives 1st before thinking of getting married, as they are a LIABILITY

as for your hustle statement, no wonder so many men fail in marriage when they think that having money to take care of a liability is the solution to their problem....a liability is a LIABILITY whether you bring more money to the table or not.

Your statement is true to some extent but I disagree with the bolded part. Dating a girl is entirely different from marriage. Infact, everything use to change when marriage is involved.

udoji2021:
Your statement is true to some extent but I disagree with the bolded part. Dating a girl is entirely different from marriage. Infact, everything use to change when marriage is involved.

i dont think anything changes between dating and marriage (especially financially), but pls do tell us what changes, apart from that signed piece of paper?

again: a dating couple shouldnt have kids before they are financially/emotionally/physically ready to have one together.... same with married couple, and that doesnt mean they cant be together, it just mean they have to be careful as to not have kids they cant take care of.

sadly, due to the African belief that as soon as one get married, they need to have children to showcase their "happy family" and/or ego of men to show that their tool is working, many foolish broke people have kids that they cant take care of

Secondly, the saying that someone obtain favor from Whatever God when you are marriage is also false to some extent, God don't pour manna from heaven this days as was reported in the Bible (don't know if this is even true), get married and sit at home waiting for favor from the Lord and see if you didn't die of hunger within days.

Hahahahahaha

We women were created to bring down men & destroy their destinies.
I wonder why men don't know this yet.

Money is involved in Marriage.

This thread go sweet die. Lemme know if you need a chair to sit and pop corn to keep your mouth busy. �

,

They will use 'promise of 10k' to fuçk your wife.

Sad part is she won't eventually get the 10k.

Tueh for poverty.

decatalyst:
In this kind of economy and society, why would anyone sane man marry without any source of income?

Why? Why?

You are certainly underestimating what some men believe in.....you hear them retelling fictitious stories of how "one man" married with nothing but now owns buildings.

MrBrownJay1:


i dont think anything changes between dating and marriage (especially financially), but pls do tell us what changes, apart from that signed piece of paper?

again: a dating couple shouldnt have kids before they are financially/emotionally/physically ready to have one together.... same with married couple, and that doesnt mean they cant be together, it just mean they have to be careful as to not have kids they cant take care of.

sadly, due to the African belief that as soon as one get married, they need to have children to showcase their "happy family" and/or ego of men to show that their tool is working, many foolish broke people have kids that they cant take care of

There are many changes that naturally occur when someone get married. First, everybody (husband & wife) true colors are seeing and felt by each. I said this because, most girls use to pretend when you are just dating, same thing goes to the guys, but when they started staying under one roof eh!

Again, your affection for each other use to decline no matter how you love yourselves. That is, you don't desire each other like before and if with time, any of the partner is failing to meet you with the financial, emotional, physical etc support, it may lead to another problem.


Many things use to change sir,

greenie77:


You are certainly underestimating what some men believe in.....you hear them retelling fictitious stories of how "one man" married with nothing but now owns buildings.

They will even start quoting Bible that you will obtain favor from God. So people like Paul that never married nko!

This motivational speakers are a problem to our societies nowadays.







Marriage is for the rich jor

udoji2021:
There are many changes that naturally occur when someone get married. First, everybody (husband & wife) true colors are seeing and felt by each. I said this because, most girls use to pretend when you are just dating, same thing goes to the guys, but when they started staying under one roof eh!

Again, your affection for each other use to decline no matter how you love yourselves. That is, you don't desire each other like before and if with time, any of the partner is failing to meet you with the financial, emotional, physical etc support, it may lead to another problem.


Many things use to change sir,

... and how exactly does MONEY solve the above issues you just stated?!?!? the above has absolutely nothing to do with financial stability, as a fake/disrespectful woman will be the same, whether dating or married....

MrBrownJay1:


... and how exactly does MONEY solve the above issues you just stated?!?!? the above has absolutely nothing to do with financial stability, as a fake/disrespectful woman will be the same, whether dating or married....

With all due respect sir,
Money stops almost all, if not all the nonsense I mentioned up there, infact, money/wealth is one of the criteria for a happy marriage.

udoji2021:
With all due respect sir,
Money stops almost all, if not all the nonsense I mentioned up there, infact, money/wealth is one of the criteria for a happy marriage.

you sir do not know what you are talking about... 1st of all, if people are attracted to you for money, then they will never show their true colors so long as you give them the money they require (aka pay as you go). they will do/say/act as you want them to so long as you pay them, and you will only see their true colors when money don finish. sadly, the reality is that majority dont give a fukc about you but your money, and money is the only thing that matters to them,,,so again, what you wrote above is irrelevant to the subject at hand.

2nd if a girl pretends when dating BECAUSE OF YOUR MONEY, then you best believe thats this is exactly what she will do AFTER MARRIAGE... until she has enough money saved to now drop you and go marry the man of her dream (and probably support him with "your" money)

3rd money can NEVER solve the issue of disrespectful partners, because everyone knows that you cant buy respect....you can only buy deluded broke aass women who will pretend to respect you (for a fee).

4th if you think that paying a woman to respect you, is the way to go in this life, then i suggest you start to accept that you will solely be surrounded by oloshos for the rest of your natural life.

FINALLY only a broke and/or highly deluded person believes that money solves every problems in marriage. money doesnt solve cheating, money doesnt solve a disrespectful wife, money doesnt solve bad health, money doesnt solve ungrateful family/friends, money doesnt solve stupidity, money doesnt solve accidents and unforeseen tragedies.... etc etc etc

Klass99:


Na lie e no go sweet, because this is an over flogged topic/issue on NL.

lol, no kill the show nah

MrBrownJay1:


... and how exactly does MONEY solve the above issues you just stated?!?!? the above has absolutely nothing to do with financial stability, as a fake/disrespectful woman will be the same, whether dating or married....

The answer to your question is obvious.
Money is a tool to control, a wife will hardly want to disrespect you when she knows you hold a value of control over her needs

God is a God of order. Before he created man, he created food first. How will you be thinking of marriage when you can barely take care of yourself. That is suicide in the making.
I like my church for that, they confirm your source of income and other necessary information before they can approve a wedding ceremony.

Money isn't everything but something in marriage.. I got married with an income lower than 50k managed to startup a small business for her, along the line she got a job, now I have my own business combined with my job. We have a kid and now thinking of adding another one to the family. So we combine all our incomes from work and business.. wasn't easy t the start but look at us now! Na God.. I'm not saying she's the best human in the world neither I'm I. But when you see what you need in life, kill (not to spill blood) to get it cos it's either u or them. I took her from someone who was playing with her heart cos I saw the potentials in her.. plus always pray to God and use your head before you select a bride..

udoji2021:
I just come across a thread about this topic and felt like contributing on it.


https://www.nairaland.com/6703059/struggling-hard-money-hasnt-come


Guys, I will not beat around the bush, getting married when you are not financially bouyant is the greatest mistake that can NEVER be corrected, infact, it's a sin and against natural laws to bring someone's daughter to your house when you struggling to take care of yourself and consequently starts laying foundation of poverty that will last for generations if not forever.




WHY?



Experience is the best teacher, I'm a victim of such circumstances and I know what I face in that type of marriage and is still facing. When you make such mistake, you will start sleeping abnormally which is the first sign of things to come, it will then leads to over thinking and depression. Forget about family members, no one will be there to help you when you needed their help. Begging to feed or meet your financial obligations is even worst cos first, the insults you will receive can make you commit suicide, and if you start this begging, people will always give you fake promises, the time that you would have used in doing productive something will be on moving from one place to another or staying online to reply people. Forget about all this motivational speakers cos you will only see another motivational quote from them when the sh*t hits the fan.


Secondly, the saying that someone obtain favor from Whatever God when you are marriage is also false to some extent, God don't pour manna from heaven this days as was reported in the Bible (don't know if this is even true), get married and sit at home waiting for favor from the Lord and see if you didn't die of hunger within days.


Most painful part is that, you may end up suffering for another person children ignorantly, HOW?
Let me give an example, I went to one politician for help and this man told me to back later, he later sent someone to call my wife and start telling her to sleep with him (heavy pregnant woman o) before he can help. I was lucky that my wife told me about it with proof of what the man was doing, that was the day I stopped calling him. Now, what if she agreed without telling me and continued after she birth?
Guys, hustle and settle down first marriage and thank me later.



Lastly, all this girls will keep telling you that I will manage, I will manage, but if they finally come and stay with you, they will not manage again. Infact, that is how some women have finally taken over their houses and start maltreating the husbands for been weak.



In a nutshell, I'm of the opinion that a guy should hustle and have money, hustle hard again and have more money before he can start thinking of marriage.

Cc: Lalasticlala

Thank you for this beautiful piece. The problem is the people with strong coconut head, they will read and still make the same mistake.

Pochettino:
We women were created to bring down men & destroy their destinies.
I wonder why men don't know this yet.

Are you a woman or just a man disguising as a woman

dobnina:

Are you a woman or just a man disguising as a woman

Ask yourself that very stupid question

Pochettino:


Ask yourself that very stupid question

Well, it's obvious who you really are.
I won't bother to trade words with you so you don't transfer your negativity to me the way you have been transferring to innocent men.
Good luck.

MrBrownJay1:


i dont think anything changes between dating and marriage (especially financially), but pls do tell us what changes, apart from that signed piece of paper?

again: a dating couple shouldnt have kids before they are financially/emotionally/physically ready to have one together.... same with married couple, and that doesnt mean they cant be together, it just mean they have to be careful as to not have kids they cant take care of.

sadly, due to the African belief that as soon as one get married, they need to have children to showcase their "happy family" and/or ego of men to show that their tool is working, many foolish broke people have kids that they cant take care of

Bro, all that you wrote is what I have as a mindset but the problem is having a partner that will think along the same line as you. Reason why the op said many will change after marriage, and it's not limited to women alone, men are also on this table. After marriage many seem to want to have it all like their mate since the living together has been achieved, they want to hurriedly move to the next big thing after that which ought to take gradual process whereas move to increase finance from both side should be top of the list...