I know about a marriage of 30years that crashed because the man found out that his wife was his best friend's ex. This man and his best friend have come a long way,they've been friends since childhood and they share strong family bond known to everyone. Both the man and his best friend are rich and famous in their hometown and also his wife grew up in the same compound with his best friend. The man got hint of this when he visited his home town and met one of his childhood friend and this long term kept secret was somehow leaked and the man confirmed the story when he made some enquiries.The man came to his base and confronted his wife and to his surprise she admitted to all the accusations and told her husband they were childhood lovers and that when she knew she can't marry him(her husband's best friend) she had to agree to his love advances which eventually led to their marriage. The man said he never suspected anything between his wife and his best friend because he took their closeness as a case of two people who grew up in the same compound and also his best friend never hinted him of their affairs. Elders tried to settle them because this is a marriage that has produced grand children but the man went ahead with the divorce because he felt betrayed by his wife and best friend. So married men in the house,will you crash such a marriage because of this? Is the Man's decision to divorce his wife of so many years condemnable or he did the right thing?

You are not marrying your ex, you are getting married to a different person.

She's moi wife, not friends' wife..
It's not a sin to marry an AMAZING WOMAN that is my friends ex..

Goldbw122:
You are not marrying your ex, you are getting married to a different person.

His best friend is the ex here and he felt betrayed

There are secrets better kept.

Iyaebe:
His best friend is the ex here and he felt betrayed

Did his now divorced wife at anytime within the course of their marriage continue the relationship with the ex?

At the stage of the woman's life and now a granny, her children would provide for her and Baba is free to re-marry but should make sure to a woman who is a virgin, to eliminate the possibility of an ex.

greenie77:


Did his now divorced wife at anytime within the course of their marriage continue the relationship with the ex?

At the stage of the woman's life and now a granny, her children would provide for her and Baba is free to re-marry but should make sure to a woman who is a virgin, to eliminate the possibility of an ex.

He has remarried already, he said he can never forgive such betrayal and that such woman can kill him.

Iyaebe:
He has remarried already, he said he can never forgive such betrayal and that such woman can kill him.

Already remarried ......Baba was looking for an excuse to get a younger wife!

Can kill him now, that she didn't within the last 30 years! Hope his adult children are in good terms with him.

greenie77:


Already remarried ......Baba was looking for an excuse to get a younger wife!

I don't think so,he felt betrayed and took a hasty decision. His first son even supported him

Iyaebe:
I don't think so,he felt betrayed and took a hasty decision. His first son even supported him

He divorced his wife of thirty years because she dated in best friend in the past?

While they (BF & wife) was wrong not to disclose their previous relationship, I strongly believe that the husband was looking for an excuse to divorce his wife & re-marry which is extremely shameful.

I won't be shocked if the man is a respectable elder in his church and/or community.

@son supporting him: I have seen a brother join his BIL to hunt for girls (cheat on his sister).

bukatyne:


He divorced his wife of thirty years because she dated in best friend in the past?

While they (BF & wife) was wrong not to disclose their previous relationship, I strongly believe that the husband was looking for an excuse to divorce his wife & re-marry which is extremely shameful.

I won't be shocked if the man is a respectable elder in his church and/or community.

@son supporting him: I have seen a brother join his BIL to hunt for girls (cheat on his sister).

Both of them are rich and famous, they are national figures and titled men,the king and other notable personalities tried to wade in and settle but he was hell bent on crashing the marriage.It was a very heavy issue and the son supporting his dad made everything worse.The woman accepted her faith and moved on.

Ex means past.. Since they are no longer together.. I don't see any crime in it oo..

His choice, their business. Some people forgive, some don't. He's free to do whatever he likes. He has a lot to consider before making such a life changing decision

habsydiamond:
Ex means past.. Since they are no longer together.. I don't see any crime in it oo..

The ex here is his own very best friend, its like a case of Maman Daura been the ex of Aisha Buhari

Hmmmm... Hard to say what I'd do because unless I am blind, it will be very unusual of me not to have noticed anything between her and my best friend before getting married to her.

That said, I have a friend who got married to a female mutual friend of ours even after knowing that she and I were intimate as little as 2months before he proposed to her.

All I could say then was, dude is a much better man than I am.
Lord knows I can't do such.

crackhaus:
Hmmmm... Hard to say what I'd do because unless I am blind, it will be very unusual of me not to have noticed anything between her and my best friend before getting married to her.

That said, I have a friend who got married to a female mutual friend of ours even after knowing that she and I were intimate as little as 2months before he proposed to her.

All I could say then was, dude is a much better man than I am.
Lord knows I can't do such.

Hmm I pray your friend's marriage last without him ever using what you had with his wife to spite her someday.Maybe she's rich that's why your friend overlooked such.It was hard for him to notice because his wife and best friend grew up together so he thought they were just close friends and no one ever hinted him about it.

Iyaebe:
The ex here is his own very best friend, its like a case of Maman Daura been the ex of Aisha Buhari

though it will be difficult simply because if the husband is not around they can still contract like magnet.. Any relationship between a man and a women that sex was involved in the past no matter how long they have been separated if the two are isolated sex can happen again between the two.. Thats why it's difficult. If the girl is decent.. It's cool

habsydiamond:
though it will be difficult simply because if the husband is not around they can still contract like magnet.. Any relationship between a man and a women that sex was involved in the past no matter how long they have been separated if the two are isolated sex can happen again between the two.. Thats why it's difficult. If the girl is decent.. It's cool

The woman is a very good woman, they are grandparents already and the man damned all consequences and went ahead to crash the marriage

Iyaebe:
The woman is a very good woman, they are grandparents already and the man damned all consequences and went ahead to crash the marriage

that's bad of the man... The husband should know better after a long time with the woman as his wife.. If she's not promiscuous I don't see any reason why he should dissolve the marriage..

habsydiamond:
that's bad of the man... The husband should know better after a long time with the woman as his wife.. If she's not promiscuous I don't see any reason why he should dissolve the marriage..

I felt he divorced the woman because his ego was bruised as the issue became a public discussion and he felt also betrayed

socialmediaman:
His choice, their business. Some people forgive, some don't. He's free to do whatever he likes. He has a lot to consider before making such a life changing decision

What was the husband supposed to forgive?

His wife dating someone else before he married her?

bukatyne:


What was the husband supposed to forgive?

His wife dating someone else before he married her?

So if your husband dated your best friend sometime in the past, you will be ok if he didn't tell you? And you people have been hanging out and sometimes you may have even left them alone thinking it was just friendship?

Iyaebe:
I felt he divorced the woman because his ego was bruised as the issue became a public discussion and he felt also betrayed

atimes that's why it's good to share one's past with one's partner cos u never can tell if keeping such secret can come back to hurt u. If the husband had knew about his wife being the ex of his friend earlier in their relationship maybe this won't have happened now.

How the hell would my "wife" not tell me she was ever in a relationship with my "best friend" and why the holy ferk would my "best friend" not tell me he once had something with the woman I ended up marrying?? If I'll leave, I'll do so because they both kept important stuff from me.

This question get as e be

Nuelito:
This question get as e be

What will you do?

Iyaebe:
I know about a marriage of 30years that crashed because the man found out that his wife was his best friend's ex. This man and his best friend have come a long way,they've been friends since childhood and they share strong family bond known to everyone. Both the man and his best friend are rich and famous in their hometown and also his wife grew up in the same compound with his best friend. The man got hint of this when he visited his home town and met one of his childhood friend and this long term kept secret was somehow leaked and the man confirmed the story when he made some enquiries.The man came to his base and confronted his wife and to his surprise she admitted to all the accusations and told her husband they were childhood lovers and that when she knew she can't marry him(her husband's best friend) she had to agree to his love advances which eventually led to their marriage. The man said he never suspected anything between his wife and his best friend because he took their closeness as a case of two people who grew up in the same compound and also his best friend never hinted him of their affairs. Elders tried to settle them because this is a marriage that has produced grand children but the man went ahead with the divorce because he felt betrayed by his wife and best friend. So married men in the house,will you crash such a marriage because of this? Is the Man's decision to divorce his wife of so many years condemnable or he did the right thing?

Hmm just like what is happening now, my husband best friend want to marry my husband ex, the ex he left immediately he met me.
Note my husband best friend married to a black American woman, about 5years ago the said woman had removed her womb, you all no what Americans can do. Back to the main gist, my husband best friend has been talking to this ex and she agreed to date or married my husband best, they are in love already before my husband best friend told my husband he want to marry his ex, at first my husband see nothing wrong in it, but later when he told his friends and other people including me, we all said is wrong.
But what we noticed, was that since my husband best friend and my husband ex has been dating, my husband best friend has changed towards my husband. Apparently the ex has spoil or paint my husband wrongly for his friend.
This best friend my husband give him money to buy car for him last year because he based in usa, we don't even know how the money awaka the money no get account, no car to send to us.. Before now i told my husband to ask his best friend to send us the money as we no see car, he said no.. but now money no go easy collect again.
Till now my husband and his best friend are not in good terms.

It's the betrayal more than anything else. She and his friend lied to him for all those years. I side with the husband's decision to leave her. This must be the straw that broke the camel's back, maybe he overlooked some deception, and forgave some lies over the years. This could have just been the last one he could take. I think there's a pattern here and he finally threw in the towel.

seunmarytemi:

Hmm just like what is happening now, my husband best friend want to marry my husband ex, the ex he left immediately he met me.
Note my husband best friend married to a black American woman, about 5years ago the said woman had removed her womb, you all no what Americans can do. Back to the main gist, my husband best friend has been talking to this ex and she agreed to date or married my husband best, they are in love already before my husband best friend told my husband he want to marry his ex, at first my husband see nothing wrong in it, but later when he told his friends and other people including me, we all said is wrong.
But what we noticed, was that since my husband best friend and my husband ex has been dating, my husband best friend has changed towards my husband. Apparently the ex has spoil or paint my husband wrongly for his friend.
This best friend my husband give him money to buy car for him last year because he based in usa, we don't even know how the money awaka the money no get account, no car to send to us.. Before now i told my husband to ask his best friend to send us the money as we no see car, he said no.. but now money no go easy collect again.
Till now my husband and his best friend are not in good terms.

Hmm this is the beginning of the end of your husband's friendship with his best friend,I don't blame the man much for divorcing his wife because it's better to do away with what you can't stomach to avoid unnecessary toxicity.

Iyaebe:
Hmm this is the beginning of the end of your husband's friendship with his best friend,I don't blame the man much for divorcing his wife because it's better to do away with what you can't stomach to avoid unnecessary toxicity.

Am telling you, before we realised he was dating the lady he has tried to end his friendship with my husband.

seunmarytemi:
Am telling you, before we realised he was dating the lady he has tried to end his friendship with my husband.

Its best your husband create a gap with his best friend so as to avoid unhealthy relationship between them after all 30 friends can not be friends for 30years.

Iyaebe:
Its best your husband create a gap with his best friend so as to avoid unhealthy relationship between them after all 30 friends can not be friends for 30years.

Thanks ma, thanks for your understanding.