Hathor5:
Do you agree?

I am watching a series and in one of the episodes a couple goes to see a marriage counselor. She tells them that marriage is not about unconditional love but an agreement to show up the best we can. It is meant to challenge each spouse to bring out the best in them.

How useful is this kind of advice?

Magnoliaa:
Is showing up the best we can and bringing out the best in our partners not a part of unconditional love? I believe it is a part of it, and one does not necessarily preclude the other.

Love is important. Yes, the feelings, tingly kind I believe. One that makes your heart race and feel good just thinking about them, I believe. No, that is not all there is to it.
Dont worry I'll shower you with love when we get married

But unconditional love has imbued in it the works, the efforts, the commitment and the blindness as well.

To the usefulness of such advice, I feel it paints a dreary picture of marriage that I don't want to look forward to. Sounds drudgery. Like I must do things for my partner, just because. Not cheerily. Are there likely going to be times I feel that way? Possibly. But haba, for the most of the time and my marriage life?

I don't want that kind of organic, fulfilling-a-duty or filling-in-a-space love, tenkio.

Hathor5:
Do you agree?

I am watching a series and in one of the episodes a couple goes to see a marriage counselor. She tells them that marriage is not about unconditional love but an agreement to show up the best we can. It is meant to challenge each spouse to bring out the best in them.

How useful is this kind of advice?

pocohantas:


Some people believe they should just be loved the way they are. With their good and bad. Even when they can make conscious efforts to change, they refuse to. They call it self-love. Some compromises are healthy. He is not asking you to go from dark skin to fair skin, he is only asking you reduce the salt you put in food. You na say the man that loves you would enjoy your food like that. You want to damage his liver?

pocohantas:


Some people believe they should just be loved the way they are. With their good and bad. Even when they can make conscious efforts to change, they refuse to. They call it self-love. Some compromises are healthy. He is not asking you to go from dark skin to fair skin, he is only asking you reduce the salt you put in food. You na say the man that loves you would enjoy your food like that. You want to damage his liver?

Iyaebe:
Best advice ever,it's best to study the flaws of a partner and see if you can cope with him/her than concentrating only on the good side.In marriage love should be secondary, marry who have sense and compatibility should be your top priority. Love will fade if you marry a stupid person and you'll begin to ask yourself if you were hypnotized.

Iyaebe:
Best advice ever,it's best to study the flaws of a partner and see if you can cope with him/her than concentrating only on the good side.In marriage love should be secondary, marry who have sense and compatibility should be your top priority. Love will fade if you marry a stupid person and you'll begin to ask yourself if you were hypnotized.

Magnoliaa:
Is showing up the best we can and bringing out the best in our partners not a part of unconditional love? I believe it is a part of it, and one does not necessarily preclude the other.

Love is important. Yes, the feelings, tingly kind I believe. One that makes your heart race and feel good just thinking about them, I believe. No, that is not all there is to it.

But unconditional love has imbued in it the works, the efforts, the commitment and the blindness as well.

To the usefulness of such advice, I feel it paints a dreary picture of marriage that I don't want to look forward to. Sounds drudgery. Like I must do things for my partner, just because. Not cheerily. Are there likely going to be times I feel that way? Possibly. But haba, for the most of the time and my marriage life?

I don't want that kind of organic, fulfilling-a-duty or filling-in-a-space love, tenkio.

Magnoliaa:
Is showing up the best we can and bringing out the best in our partners not a part of unconditional love? I believe it is a part of it, and one does not necessarily preclude the other.

Love is important. Yes, the feelings, tingly kind I believe. One that makes your heart race and feel good just thinking about them, I believe. No, that is not all there is to it.

But unconditional love has imbued in it the works, the efforts, the commitment and the blindness as well.

To the usefulness of such advice, I feel it paints a dreary picture of marriage that I don't want to look forward to. Sounds drudgery. Like I must do things for my partner, just because. Not cheerily. Are there likely going to be times I feel that way? Possibly. But haba, for the most of the time and my marriage life?

I don't want that kind of organic, fulfilling-a-duty or filling-in-a-space love, tenkio.

bezimo:

The word of God is the standard not some nonsense series or episode ..husband love your wife as Christ love the church.
Which is an unconditional and sacrificial love

Longsleeve:


Unconditional love will cover everything if it's genuine..

If you love a stupid person unconditionally.. you won't see any stupidity again in him/her

Kobojunkie:
Those are Paul's words, not God's. God's Word is Jesus Christ and Jesus Christ's instructions to all His followers is that regardless of marital status, they each love each one another just as He, Jesus Christ, loved them.

That instruction was not meant for only husbands towards their wives.

Kobojunkie:
Yet, over and over we are told to make our dreams come true.... I don't understand the point you are attempting to make of reality.

Hathor5:


I'm not sure unconditional love exists and if it it's rare. I think most people love conditionally and it's a good thing because you should have standards and set boundaries. If our spouse decides to behave like a jerk, it will have an impact on the feelings we have for them. It's only human, isn't it?

I have heard of people who have never remarried even though they lost their spouses very young because they loved them so much that they would not even let death stop them from honoring their bond or people who have been taking care of their spo years and decided to remain single too but these examples are rare. It's also rare for a spouse to remain loyal and loving when the other one can't give them children.

It's good to have a sense of duty and profound love when our spouse needs us most but apart from this we should expect our spouse to give their best and do the same.

Hathor5:
Do you agree?

I am watching a series and in one of the episodes a couple goes to see a marriage counselor. She tells them that marriage is not about unconditional love but an agreement to show up the best we can. It is meant to challenge each spouse to bring out the best in them.

How useful is this kind of advice?

Ayo081:
Paul's word are not mere words, they're words from Christ.

SweetVibe:

YOU TALK TOO MUCH, its time you ask yourself why many people dislike you in this forum. You have this irritating attitude of being opinionated and feel you know it all, you may think you are sounding intelligent BUT the reality is that you irritate people.

Kobojunkie:
Those are Paul's words, not God's. God's Word is Jesus Christ and Jesus Christ's instructions to all His followers is that regardless of marital status, they each love each one another just as He, Jesus Christ, loved them.

That instruction was not meant for only husbands towards their wives.

Hathor5:
Do you agree?

I am watching a series and in one of the episodes a couple goes to see a marriage counselor. She tells them that marriage is not about unconditional love but an agreement to show up the best we can. It is meant to challenge each spouse to bring out the best in them.

How useful is this kind of advice?

Magnoliaa:
Is showing up the best we can and bringing out the best in our partners not a part of unconditional love? I believe it is a part of it, and one does not necessarily preclude the other.

Love is important. Yes, the feelings, tingly kind I believe. One that makes your heart race and feel good just thinking about them, I believe. No, that is not all there is to it.

But unconditional love has imbued in it the works, the efforts, the commitment and the blindness as well.

To the usefulness of such advice, I feel it paints a dreary picture of marriage that I don't want to look forward to. Sounds drudgery. Like I must do things for my partner, just because. Not cheerily. Are there likely going to be times I feel that way? Possibly. But haba, for the most of the time and my marriage life?

I don't want that kind of organic, fulfilling-a-duty or filling-in-a-space love, tenkio.

bezimo:

So the Bible is selected God's word.Lmso
The bible view on Marriage is clear in Ephesians Husband love your wife,wife submit to your husband in all things.

No confuse anybody by saying nonsense Abeg.. it's Paul's word..its not God's word..what of David's word..Moses word..Elijah word..Peter word. Abeg go and get transformed instead of talking error here.

DeRichard:
The best marriage is a marriage deeply rooted in Christ.