Mille:
On what caused the resentment.

I'm sure you all remembered when MTN network was down until the next day. Well, that day I and my daughter went to bed hungry. It was the first time in my 28 years I have ever gone to bed without eating dinner.

I receive my pay in my dorm account in USD. So I have a BDC guy who I transfer dollar to whenever I need cash. I didn't know MTN will fumble that day because I splurged all my Naira earlier that day. Evening came, MTN was down. I couldn't get across to BDC and it was already too late to go to bank to withdraw. I saw this woman's bank balance that same evening but she lied she didn't have any cash. I didn't challenge her and she chose to allow everyone sleep hungry that night including our baby. Don't even ask about breast milk because the whole night, all I was hearing was her whining that she hasn't eaten and the baby shouldn't disturb her with cries for breastfeeding.

The next morning by 7AM, I was able to get across to my BDC guy and exchanged the cash. That was the first time I have ever confronted her and I lambasted her that morning.

Still it is the same. When I have to pay PHCN bills, she'll rather have us sleep in darkness if my bank has network issues than use her own account.

Now the funny thing is, she will never go out without buying something on her way for me. So I'm a bit confused and resentful.

Mille:


Exactly what I was thinking. Of what use is opening a business for her if I'm not getting any benefits.

Mehn, I was shocked she did that and it was the main reason I lambasted her. My daughter only takes breast milk and adult food. She'll rather take water than cerealac. I already told my wife I'll never forgive that in my life.

Mille:
On what caused the resentment.

I'm sure you all remembered when MTN network was down until the next day. Well, that day I and my daughter went to bed hungry. It was the first time in my 28 years I have ever gone to bed without eating dinner.

I receive my pay in my dorm account in USD. So I have a BDC guy who I transfer dollar to whenever I need cash. I didn't know MTN will fumble that day because I splurged all my Naira earlier that day. Evening came, MTN was down. I couldn't get across to BDC and it was already too late to go to bank to withdraw. I saw this woman's bank balance that same evening but she lied she didn't have any cash. I didn't challenge her and she chose to allow everyone sleep hungry that night including our baby. Don't even ask about breast milk because the whole night, all I was hearing was her whining that she hasn't eaten and the baby shouldn't disturb her with cries for breastfeeding.

The next morning by 7AM, I was able to get across to my BDC guy and exchanged the cash. That was the first time I have ever confronted her and I lambasted her that morning.

Still it is the same. When I have to pay PHCN bills, she'll rather have us sleep in darkness if my bank has network issues than use her own account.

Now the funny thing is, she will never go out without buying something on her way for me. So I'm a bit confused and resentful.

Mille:


And what should someone do if you have talked and there is still no changes?

GboyegaD:


Oga, no wound yourself ooo. Money for bank different from cash for hand ooo. If you do not forgive, it's on you. It is eating you deep and not her.

Mariangeles:


[s]If you like ehn, allow bitter hateful souls wey full nairaland poison your mind against your wife, you hear?
You will never forgive her in your life abi? Says a lot about the kind of human being you really are! You have a very wicked and unforgiving heart yourself!

Evaluate and ask yourself if you yourself are a good person? ARE YOU PERFECT?
Those telling you your wife is a bad person, ARE THEY GOOD?
Who are they to tell you your wife is bad?
Do you know how they are in real life?

Imagine all the nonsense you're talking about your wife behind her back, and you're letting bitter people channel their negative energies towards her by talking bad about her without you even defending her. You are a very bad husband!
I pity your wife.
If you like ehn, no protect your marriage you hear? Bitter nairalanders go use you destroy am, na that time your eyes go clear!

Petty husband! [/s]

Raalsalghul:


The sisterhood will always defend their own.

Raalsalghul:


The sisterhood will always defend their own.

Hathor5:


I thought it was only me seeing this difference and possibly misunderstanding something but you saw it too.

Framed:


Why did you change sex from male to female. U no be man again?

KevinDein:
But I was told mother's love is unrivaled and they can lay down their lives for their kids. Lies.
Notice how even the women on this thread don't seem to see how preposterous it is for a woman to allow her baby sleep on an empty stomach and a particular one above even spinned the tale to eventually call the op petty.
You are all birds of a feather.

KevinDein:
But I was told mother's love is unrivaled and they can lay down their lives for their kids. Lies.
[s]Notice how even the women on this thread don't seem to see how preposterous it is for a woman to allow her baby sleep on an empty stomach and a particular one above even spinned the tale to eventually call the op petty.
You are all birds of a feather.[/s]

GboyegaD:


He kept insisting on the bank balance and perhaps did not ask if they could go make withdrawal. If she buys him something anytime she goes out, she does appreciate him. I think what they need is more communication and Bros needs understand that he isn't owed as his reactions in my opinion feels so.

iboboyswag:


Oga he is owed every dime of her existence. If she cannot give or attempt to see through the situation then she is no good.

Many in here have tried to downplay her actions. But the truth is bare. A stingy woman is a bad partner. And as OP has said, no amount of talking can change that.

OP you need to establish a sense of authority and new rules. Don't overgive and resist the urge to pamper her. Let her work, earn and contribute her own quota to the house. Her pricey education should not go to waste.

Save yourself the headache of tomorrow now while you can.

GboyegaD:


I rest my case.

iboboyswag:


It is the supposed separation most people allow in marriages that is causing a lot of the challenges we witness with marriage today.

People who pledge I do, don't see themselves as one. They don't even treat their significant other as themselves and even many are willing to forgive siblings than they would their partners.

If you reason that your partner is you and you are your partner, parting with your money or other material possessions won't be a challenge.

And as to being owed every dime of her existence, the same applies to him in a sane and upright setting. In marriage mathematics was defied and sense thrown outside.

[/quote]

ucheheart:
You are not alone my brother, Wives in this our generation are not just helpful. They come with entitlement mentality and most of them are very selfish, all they care about is themselves and their family members.

The absolute truth. I am presently experiencing such attitude with my mine where all she care is her siblings and her herself . [quote]

Klass99:


I feel you!

One of the Youtubers I follow (a guy) said don't invest in people based on how much you like them, but based how much they are investing back in you. He didn't mean that in monetary/financial terms.

It's like, you tell Amaka I want to brainstorm stuff with you, for your perspective. She says she is busy, let's talk later. You try again 2 more times but nothing, the next time you hear from her she's asking for 5k. Meanwhile you're usually there for her, when she wants to talk and needs a soundingboard.

On the other hand, you tell Ihuoma the same thing, she is more responsive and makes the time for you guys to chat and brainstorm your issue together. You may like Amaka & Ihuoma in the same vein, but it makes more sense to invest your time, energy, company and resources in Ihuoma than Amaka, because Ihuoma invests in you by being there when you need her.



This made me laugh, but I concur.

GboyegaD:


Being owed isn't the right choice of word in my opinion as I now get your logic. One thing however is that different family, different strokes.

One thing I tell my friends is if you guys can have sex during the day without being ashamed of One another, there's nothing that can be done together. I have seen homes where money has caused troubles and it is always funny to me.

GboyegaD:


He kept insisting on the bank balance and perhaps did not ask if they could go make withdrawal. If she buys him something anytime she goes out, she does appreciate him. I think what they need is more communication and Bros needs understand that he isn't owed as his reactions in my opinion feels so.

Klass99:


I feel you!

One of the Youtubers I follow (a guy) said don't invest in people based on how much you like them, but based how much they are investing back in you. He didn't mean that in monetary/financial terms.

It's like, you tell Amaka I want to brainstorm stuff with you, for your perspective. She says she is busy, let's talk later. You try again 2 more times but nothing, the next time you hear from her she's asking for 5k. Meanwhile you're usually there for her, when she wants to talk and needs a soundingboard.

On the other hand, you tell Ihuoma the same thing, she is more responsive and makes the time for you guys to chat and brainstorm your issue together. You may like Amaka more than Ihuoma, but it makes more sense to invest your time, energy, company and resources, in Ihuoma than Amaka, because Ihuoma invests in you, by being there when you need her.

The illustration above was my own understanding/interpretation of his words. Folks who don't understand, give and take in this life, induce a massive headache and I just can't deal.



This made me laugh, but I concur.

Klass99:


. Why are you now pretending to be female?

NovesaTillie:
Her money is her money.
Your money is OUR money

I'm not that kind of woman.
My husband will be lucky to have me.

ogawisdom:
Lol

she doesnt believe in supporting his man financially.

you are wasting ur money opening a business for her except u dont mind if she doesnt support ur family from the biz.

whatever u do never ever go broke otherwise u will see ur ears with ur eyes.

Have plans A to F for making money n different reserve funds for the family.

By the way 95% of women are like dt, it's difficult for a woman to support their husband with their money.

In ur case i am shocked she let her daughter go to bed hungry, women don't play with their kids

Mille:


Perhaps you didn't understand my post. Let me explain a bit. I actually saw her bank balance. I still saw it the same evening and the next morning. I know how much was in there at the time. I have always been self-sufficient from a young age so I have never cared about anyone else's money.

When I say it's too late for me to go to the bank. I mean it was already past 4pm and banks would be closed by then. Anyone familiar with dorm accounts know you can only withdraw dollar at the counter in the bank.

Mrkumareze:
Op, she is not working yet, wait until she starts business... And, don't expect her to start spending from a biz that's not stable yet.. grow your wife, she ll support you when she balance wella...
no reason wahala, the economy sometimes frustrates man thinking ... to survive in naija as a family man, u get to be strong psychologically n physically