Saintmary:


The father in law is at fault, partially.


.

Lmao
Babies in adult bodies can't take responsibility for anything.

Lamanii22:



Awwwwn was she that bad.... The only problem I have got with mine is just regarding the baby... I want to raise my baby differently but she feels she knows best regarding babies... Sometimes in my head I'd be like "back off woman she's not your baby, she's mine".... Aside from that we are cool....

.

Not just bad but disturbing and really hurtful. So I decided to remain a daughter inlaw instead of trying to be a daughter.

KevinDein:

Lmao
Babies in adult bodies can't take responsibility for anything.

When it comes to human interaction, it's not all black and white.

Lots of factors affect the outcome of a person's behavior.

It can be temperament
It can be environment


Hardly do I see anyone who sets out to be evil in their lives, to know that what they're doing is evil and to continue doing it. I have not seen.

Lamanii22:




So true.... In future when I become a mother-in-law and I interfere in my son's marriage, I should be given a hot tap lol.... We should all strive to live in peace....

I will follow my mum's footsteps there. She hardly ever visited. And minding her business was a skill she practiced well. If you don't involve her, she won't involve herself to avoid see finish.

Sometimes it was even annoying because you would want her to say something but she'd be quiet. Two things she used to say:

*She'll let us pick our spouses ourselves and marry from whatever tribe. So that we won't disturb her with our problems but solve any issue that may arise ourselves.

*She doesn't sleep in inlaws houses.

I want to have my own life and with my husband, and most importantly, have my own money. So that I won't make my children's families my business.

Saintmary:


The father in law is at fault, partially.


The time he should have spent building a solid bond with his wife, he got too busy leaving the woman to direct all her affection to her kids. Now it's not easy to break a bond that is firmly rooted in the brain.

The woman will definitely intrude in her children's lives.

It's a cycle as the daughter in law will do the same when the time comes because her husband is already neglecting her.

Your submission is wrong. It's full of false assumptions. Women tend to be more closer to their kids, it's natural as the father is mostly not wired to be too soft on kids. Moreover, irrespective of how much a father bond with kids, the woman will always be their emotionally for them unlike the father, hence the reason they bond more with mothers.

MufasaLion:


Your submission is wrong. It's full of false assumptions. Women tend to be more closer to their kids, it's natural as the father is mostly not wired to be too soft on kids. Moreover, irrespective of how much a father bond with kids, the woman will always be their emotionally for them unlike the father, hence the reason they bond more with mothers.

My post was about the relationship and bond between a man and his wife, not the bond between the man and his kids.


The bond between men and their wives are, in majority of cases, too weak.

For this reason, women overcompensate by loving their kids too much.


Please read slowly.

If I can come back to this world, I will choose to get married to this same family I am married into and also have the same mother-in-love. She is a selfless person who put other people's welfare ahead of hers. When I gave birth to my daughter, I had to stay with her for 9 months thereabout and if you see the way she took care of me, it is as if I came out of her bosom and even after I left to go back to my husband, she call me every single day. Mama lodidi, you are the answer to my mother's prayers for me to have a good home and a good family and I promise to be the daughter you never had.

Very possible.

ImaIma1:
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Not just bad but disturbing and really hurtful. So I decided to remain a daughter inlaw instead of trying to be a daughter.

Hmmmm

kunmisola:
If I can come back to this world, I will choose to get married to this same family I am married into and also have the same mother-in-love. She is a selfless person who put other people's welfare ahead of hers. When I gave birth to my daughter, I had to stay with her for 9 months thereabout and if you see the way she took care of me, it is as if I came out of her bosom and even after I left to go back to my husband, she call me every single day. Mama lodidi, you are the answer to my mother's prayers for me to have a good home and a good family and I promise to be the daughter you never had.

Awwwwn this is beautiful

missimelda01:
We can love each other and live in our respective houses.

I like that option better.

Saintmary:
The father in law is at fault, partially.
The time he should have spent building a solid bond with his wife, he got too busy leaving the woman to direct all her affection to her kids. Now it's not easy to break a bond that is firmly rooted in the brain.

The woman will definitely intrude in her children's lives.

It's a cycle as the daughter in law will do the same when the time comes because her husband is already neglecting her.

To an extent, I agree with your assertion and this because I have seen that it's typically women who are not busy in their own lives - not pursuing dreams and desires of their own - that are more prone to this typical MIL behavior. However, I don't believe it is the MILS husband to blame. A woman is a fully capable individual with complete faculties of her own

MufasaLion:
Your submission is wrong. It's full of false assumptions. Women tend to be more closer to their kids, it's natural as the father is mostly not wired to be too soft on kids. Moreover, irrespective of how much a father bond with kids, the woman will always be their emotionally for them unlike the father, hence the reason they bond more with mothers.

The statements in bold is also a false assumption on your part. Fathers, like mothers,can too choose to forge a strong bond with their children, a bond just as powerful as that of the mother or even more.

kunmisola:
If I can come back to this world, I will choose to get married to this same family I am married into and also have the same mother-in-love. She is a selfless person who put other people's welfare ahead of hers. When I gave birth to my daughter, I had to stay with her for 9 months thereabout and if you see the way she took care of me, it is as if I came out of her bosom and even after I left to go back to my husband, she call me every single day. Mama lodidi, you are the answer to my mother's prayers for me to have a good home and a good family and I promise to be the daughter you never had.

Wow! I'm teary

kunmisola:
If I can come back to this world, I will choose to get married to this same family I am married into and also have the same mother-in-love. She is a selfless person who put other people's welfare ahead of hers. When I gave birth to my daughter, I had to stay with her for 9 months thereabout and if you see the way she took care of me, it is as if I came out of her bosom and even after I left to go back to my husband, she call me every single day. Mama lodidi, you are the answer to my mother's prayers for me to have a good home and a good family and I promise to be the daughter you never had.

This is beautiful and inspiring.

Kobojunkie:
To an extent, I agree with your assertion and this because I have seen that it's typically women who are not busy in their own lives - not pursuing dreams and desires of their own - that are more prone to this typical MIL behavior. However, I don't believe it is the MILS husband to blame. A woman is a fully capable individual with complete faculties of her own

Of course every human is to be accountable for his/her decisions, but if it comes to love, hmmmmm.

That feeling makes us irrational.


P. S. Every woman should have a life, pursuits and goals. That will mitigate the effects of these little cycles we find ourselves in.

Saintmary:
When a woman gets married, the husband expects her to abandon her family and friends and focus on him and his family.

While this benefits the husband because he gets to isolate the woman so he can do as he pleases. In the long run, the woman, who has no support or defense ends up turning her kids into her friends and only means of support.


Once the children grow up and begin to start their families, the woman grasps at every means possible to keep the only friends she knows, her kids!!!!!!!


So, if the woman is a nasty person, or she has had horrible experiences for which nobody seeks therapy, well, she will take it out on anyone in close contact with her. And who is the easiest target? You guessed it: Daughter in law.

You are Reasonable. Keep Up the vibe. God helps.

I am happy for you. If I speak about my own mother in law experience, you would think I made it up and where you believe, you would think I am exaggerating. Maybe one day, I would write about it.