Mariangeles:


Mba anyi wu ni mba ndi okomoko!
O wu ihe mere ndi ozo ji a kpo ha asi.



In their culture, they are raised to know that once a daughter marries, her husband's family becomes her family. In other words, she puts her husband's family first.
For example, when a wife gives birth, it is her mother in-law's duty/right to go for omugwo, instead of her mother, thereby strengthening the ties/relationship.
So, they're not as possessive and territorial as an Igbo wife would be.
Even in their core culture, the wives don't call their husband's brothers by name.
They add brother to their names.
They also see their husband's uncles as baba oko mi which means my husband's fathers.
They're very humble and respectful too.



As in!
O wu ihe m ji a gwa gi si gi mehekwa anya ma na a lubata nwaanyi o. Onye a e jikota gi na umunne gi. O di mkpa.
Once you get it right, the rest are likely to get it right.
O wuhu onye ga a hu umunne di ya, ahu na a fugbu ya ka ose.




The worst thing about this kind of mother is that they'll always want you around for some sick reasons.
So that they can continue to control the person's life.
The best thing would be for him to leave, and start his own life somewhere else.

As in!

Hehehehe okomoko awuhu ihe ntakiri o...Eji kwanu a ga ebe ole...Nwanyi daara di ya na umunne ya, ya erite ihe oma di iche iche na aka ha..

Eziokwu ka ikwuru o..Then my friend wu last born..madu asaa tooro ya...Onye toro ya direct jiri 8yrs tor ya...Okpara nne ya aguchaala skul tupu amuo ya, mana gi ihu nga okpo ga ha by their name eeh Ihe na afu kwanu ndi nwunye ha.. especially nke yoruba wu nwunye third son.

Ya wuru otu a, culture ha mara nma o..
Very respectful yes...O nwere a woman shi ebe ahu wu kwa my friend and business associate...O tor ka shiri m ahu o, mana gi hu nga okpo ga m sir sir...Very humbe though crazy Eji m azu ya ahia sef.
O si m bia luru ofu Nwaanyi ebe ke ha..lmao...


I gwa gi eziokwu ihe ahu wu first thing m na lee na Nwaanyi ma m huta wa ya ka onye m choro i lu...How she will relate with my people matters..As the first, m nweta ya correctly, others will follow up...
Ihe wu ihe mere mma m ji dika owu nwunye first, even while my Dad is second..Even my grandma si o di ya ka mma mu owu nwunye opara ya...

Even mgbe anyi m di ntakiri, my uncles can't come around and go on empty stomach...Kama mma mu agawa emergency ahia immediately...

Nwunye opara ma nani onwe ya...Even di ya sef ochakwaranu acha n'ihu ya....Luck ha nwere wu mma m na nwunye last born enwehu nsogbu/greed and territorial stuffs associated with most selfish types like nwunye opara...Okwa ya wu na udo di na family..If not nsogbu...

Nwunye opara agahu school, I feel it affected her ways of reasoning....Nwunye opara kwesiri i di sound and intelligent...Maka o wu the second mummy general after otu a mma m di for the entire family....I pray I don't make that terrible mistake of getting it wrong.

M gwa gi ihe ndi red flags my last ex mechara eeh, ya wuru my friend ya si m ga were ofu ewu awusa ga tuo mma mma na church otu chukwu shiri ji aka ya gbasaa the relationship...


OP is passing through a phase...Almost all guys do pass through after NYSC...The difference wu na onwehu ezigbo nne ga eme ya encourage rather nke ya gbuga his spirit.

Most young ladies na adi kariri lucky, after or before nysc ofu nwoke gbaliga ofuma a bia luru ha...Lubaha na uwa oma ma ya wuru mma m ..

Mana anyi wu umu nwoke, o ji adi tough...Na when the struggle to succeed increases.
Until you start bringing something home, footing bills for parents even when they have their resources, ndi mma ga ele gi anya ka imere ha one or two

I wuru a good hustler with grace as a guy, you will be the pride of your parents...Ihe mee gi obi eme ha voom!.

Had a little accident few days ago, O foro ihe ntakiri obi ama fuo mpa m.

Ihe mere mgbe o jiri rie nri abali wuzi 11pm..Afor machiri ya..Ya emechaa bia juo okwa onwe ehu oke ihe mere m

Na text book I write like this...

Its really difficult to co tribute in this kind of matter. Really difficult because anyone not in your shoes will not understand how you feel.

However, the good news is that you have only one life to live and you will b3 sole responsible for whatever you bring out of it.

Just try to get the attention of one of your respected uncles and explain to you and also pretend as if you do t have plan b , ask him for sincere advice and that you're passing through this and really depressed. Especially that one that sent you the 500k.

From there , take your decision, move away from her and call her when neccesary and God will not leave you all alone. You will see favour.

Don't abuse her, don't disrespect her , please please and please. Just avoid issues and move on with your life

My piece dear. Pls take care

NOETHNICITY:
Better be careful. Mother's curse are as potent as anything. Secondly, yoruba women are some how. I pity you if you trust any yoruba person.
Third, you must at all cost make peace with ur mum. They are like ur god on earth

Stop being stupid and mischievous!

Sorry about this negative experience.
You should have atleast mention your profession incase someone want to engage you.
May God bless my mother!

ayobamiJR:


Some parents believe that a Kid is born into the world to run their own race..I've seen worst things from my parent but I just don't let that get into my head. Rather than hating or believing that they are responsible for my lagging, I just face my problems squarely...Even though I love my parents, I've left them and being on the street as early as 16. I don't let anything get in the way of my independent life.

But when they are old they'll be expecting you to take care of them and when you don't it becomes a problem.. This life sef eh

DispatcherLagos:
No perfect family. If I open mouth talk my own now you will thank God for having a mother like yours. However to get her thoughts out of my mind I had to travel and stay very far away from her. No calls or sms, we're both good, this is the fourth year of no communication

U just described the relationship between me and my father, I just reconciled with him recently, words can't describe what he has done, he's not fit to head a home, meanwhile, I lost my mum strictly because of his stubbornness, bro e plenty

I just give am space for some years, my brothers too give am space, but as I see say he wan die of thinking, I just say make I dey call am small small, he's pleased with me now,

Meanwhile, I go soon ignore him again if I think of what he did and spoilt in the past.

Leave or take it… No be that woman born you

DispatcherLagos:
No perfect family. If I open mouth talk my own now you will thank God for having a mother like yours. *However to get her thoughts out of my mind I had to travel and stay very far away from her. No calls or sms, we're both good, this is the fourth year of no communication*

bros u get mind oh.but sha everywhere go stew for you with time

shawante:

But when they are old they'll be expecting you to take care of them and when you don't it becomes a problem.. This life sef eh

Not all parents...for me, my kids owe me nothing. I'm not waiting for them to take care of me in my old age in any financial means..I just want them to honour me...I'd keep hustling to be financially stable at all the stages of my life. I owe them everything for bringing them into the world.

May God not give us such a son like this OP that will write this non sense about his mother.

A woman his trying to mould and build you like an Alpha son but instead of him to proof himself to her, he's busy going about with so much negativities.
How will you get a good job with this attitude of yours?
The lady that will marry you will get ready for a competition of a life time because you won't be able to stand a woman that's doing well more than you.
Instead of you to use your father has a yards stick of a total gentleman and learn from him you still could't see because you are so blind.

wake up before depression taking over you.

josh6633:



Pls Don't be offended with what I am about to ask u. Are u sure u are their biological son. Pls u should make a thorough investigation and thank me later. There is something both the so called ur mom and your dad knows that u don't know, and everyone is hiding it from u in the family.
Let me tell u, no real Mom will do such thing to her own biological son. Every mother want her son to be the best and they can do anything to makesl sure he actualize his dreams except she is a witch. And no father will sit and watched his son needs or careers not to be attended to when he has the financial assistance.
For your so called Mom to asked u to get married, she wants u out of the family because she thought u are benefiting from them. Immediately u get married and u come to asked for anything, she will have the full power to talk to u anyhow. Pls do the investigation and u get it right

Well said.

judeokoyi:

May God not give us such a son like this OP that will write this non sense about his mother.

A woman his trying to mould and build you like an Alpha son but instead of him to proof himself to her, he's busy going about with so much negativities.
How will you get a good job with this attitude of yours?
The lady that will marry you will get ready for a competition of a life time because you won't be able to stand a woman that's doing well more than you.
Instead of you to use your father has a yards stick of a total gentleman and learn from him you still could't see because you are so blind.

wake up before depression taking over you.

Yeah you're right. Mould him into an alpha son by denying him access to the funds his uncle sent to him.

Mould him like an alpha son by convincing his father not to assist him financially to start up a business idea he tabled down.

You're just an illiterate. People like you hardly make meaningful progress in life.

The woman is just a narcissist. I doubt an illiterate like you would know the meaning so please Google it up.

[s]

judeokoyi:

May God not give us such a son like this OP that will write this non sense about his mother.

A woman his trying to mould and build you like an Alpha son but instead of him to proof himself to her, he's busy going about with so much negativities.
How will you get a good job with this attitude of yours?
The lady that will marry you will get ready for a competition of a life time because you won't be able to stand a woman that's doing well more than you.
Instead of you to use your father has a yards stick of a total gentleman and learn from him you still could't see because you are so blind.

wake up before depression taking over you.

[/s]

Your name must be Mumu-ni

KingAzubuike:

Yeah you're right. Mould him into an alpha son by denying him access to the funds his uncle sent to him.

Mould him like an alpha son by convincing his father not to assist him financially to start up a business idea he tabled down.

You're just an illiterate. People like you hardly make meaningful progress in life.

The woman is just a narcissist. I doubt an illiterate like you would know the meaning so please Google it up.

Mtchew ...Only if you knew, you think i'll respond to a nincompoop like you.

ImoleNaija:
[s][/s]

Your name must be Mumu-ni

That phrase ''Mumu'' is only thing that have meaning in your life so get out!

KingAzubuike:

Yeah you're right. Mould him into an alpha son by denying him access to the funds his uncle sent to him.

Mould him like an alpha son by convincing his father not to assist him financially to start up a business idea he tabled down.

You're just an illiterate. People like you hardly make meaningful progress in life.

The woman is just a narcissist. I doubt an illiterate like you would know the meaning so please Google it up.

Mtchew ...Only if you knew, you think i'll respond to a nincompoop like you.

MrHenryFord:
I've been out of NYSC for almost 6 years now and to be honest, I am still struggling to make ends meet. I work where the pay is nothing to write home about and I have a small apartment I'm managing. It hasn't been easy at all. One of the problems being my mother who I see as a selfish and greedy person. She's this person that I can't discuss financial constraints with let's say an uncle or even my father in her presence. She'll tell them not to assist me that they're spoiling me, that those who are surviving on 20k monthly with wives and children don't have 2 heads.

As in I no get, I brought a business plan to my father. He's on the verge of assisting me and she convinced him not to help me and the man listened (he's a kind of person that even takes decisions from the woman. Sometimes I believe she must have jazzed him or something because honestly, that man doesn't know what he's doing again.

Funniest thing is that if she's the one the man wants to assist with even a million naira, she will be smiling happy. She no go talk say dem dey spoil her o.

I remember when my uncle sent money from abroad through her, she only gave me a tiny percentage . The man sent #500k to her to give me . She only gave me 30k and lied to the man she has given me the whole #500k. It was when I called the man to thank him I got to know. I just played along like I've received the whole sum inorder not to cause another problem between him and her.

Secondly, she always wants to rip where she didn't sow. I can use a pin to count how many favor she has done for me and my younger ones in this life but yet, she wants to make it an obligation to be taking care of her with the little I'm earning despite the fact that she's working and even earning x8 of what I earn.

Fine I'll give you when I have but no she no dey hear that one. Even wen I was doing NYSC in 2016. She called my grandma on phone and was crying that I refused to send her money.. I was dumbfounded. Me wey dey struggle in the streets of Kano with 19k alawee while she is working in Lagos earning more than 100k yet she still wants me to be sending money to her . It's not even that she contributes her salary to the house. It's my father that does everything. Even ordinary filling of gas cylinder na the man dey drop money.. It was so bad she started reporting me to all my uncles. Most of them who understood what I'm going through tried to talk to her but she wasn't having any of it

Thirdly, as I said in the first point above about my father being her puppet. My mother has a car she bought around 2014 and I can tell you she has never spent a dime on that car. Ordinary to use her money buy fuel na war. It's the man that fuels the car for her. If the car is faulty , she can abandon it for months until the man fixes it with is own money. When it spoils again, she abandons it again and the cycle continues. Meanwhile like I said, she works and earn above 100k monthly o. Sometimes I just keep wandering what she uses her money for because there's really nothing tangible she does to the house. (I have 3 siblings behind).

Lastly, this woman has been disturbing me to marry even as far back as when I was serving in 2016. Even till date, I keep telling her I'll settle when I am financially comfortable but she's always never ready to have any of that. Always using people like teachers and fuel attendants who earn less that 20k monthly and have wife and kids. Fine them get wife and born children but their wives are the type you see fighting with their neighbors and tearing their wrappers everyday. Their kids are the type you see on the streets driving tire naked , blowing banger up and down the streets and moving with bad boys.

I read this and I just thank God for the kinda mother I have. Not to mock you o, but just in awe of what the f*** I just read. This is beyond crazy

DispatcherLagos:
No perfect family. If I open mouth talk my own now you will thank God for having a mother like yours. However to get her thoughts out of my mind I had to travel and stay very far away from her. No calls or sms, we're both good, this is the fourth year of no communication

Haha blood of Zachariah!

jibovico:
Man. I feel your pain. I totally understand. You might not believe me but I do.

I swear is not easy

Jamest162:
Are u sure she's ur biological mother.
Coz every mum want wat's best 4 their children.

That's a valid question

I used to love my mum so much until the love started to turn to hate and resent.

Omo! What I went through in her hands was soo crazy

For my sanity, I told myself I was gonna care less and live my life, focus on myself, my life matters too and that has been working well for me. Harsh decision but it’s the best for myself. For the first time I had to put myself first.

Cut her off for a while and live your life.

apostle96:
OP, you sure say na ur real mother b dat woman...I mean ur biological mother?
You need to make your findings and get your fact right
Something is telling me they are your foster/adopted parents.

Haha

ayobamiJR:


Not all parents...for me, my kids owe me nothing. I'm not waiting for them to take care of me in my old age in any financial means..I just want them to honour me...I'd keep hustling to be financially stable at all the stages of my life. I owe them everything for bringing them into the world.

This is how it should be buh will Nigerians listen? You see them birthing kids in poverty expecting some kind of miracle that will turn the kids into Otedolas tomorrow to take them out of poverty. Mtewwwww

pansophist:
You're being a gentleman to your detriment, and that is your problem. You should have told your uncle that it's only 30k out of the 500k you received, and that he should send money to you directly next time. You don't cover shame for someone that is shameless.

Secondly, stop giving her money you don't have. Let her call Jesus and complain, don't give. Remove what's on your eye first, before someone's else, even your mum. If you realise how people quickly forget the dead, you will stop living to please people. Kobe Bryant died a few years ago, his news spread globally, now how many people talk about him? Oga give yourself a brain.

Be careful about what you tolerate, because you're teaching others how to treat you. How others treat you is a mirror to your standards, and no one will treat you better than you will accept. Your mothers behaviour will not bother you if you develop the inner strength to handle troublesome individuals. If she knows you to be tough, you'll be her exemption to her dirty behaviour, while she focuses on dealing with your father full time.

I understand the cultural expectations of respecting your parents, but to respect someone and to tolerate their excess is foolishness, and your respect has no value. When people know you as a man of honour, your respect will be valued, as well as your wrath. Know when to be a gentleman, and when to be a mentally deranged tout, because that's the language weak people understand. You can't be one, without strengthening the other. Just like the taller a tree, the deeper it's roots.

For now, seek on financial independence and don't sacrifice yourself stupidly. Your intuition is always telling you what to do but many times, people look outward, instead of inward. If something doesn't feel right, don't do it, and damn the consequences. What's worse? She would stop talking to you? Well for me, that will be great.

Love is thicker than water, not blood. If her existence in your life is more of pain than happiness, then you either choose yourself or her, and if its your mum, will she choose you instead of her happiness ? Learning to live is a skill, please develop it, and most things won't even bother you.

What a gold statement

ccollins:
be very careful young man, I would also advice you to visit apostle arome osayi church in markurdi so God can help you. A mother who patronizes witchcraft in any disguise to trap her children is evil. U better go n become spiritually stronger so your mom won't use you as chaff

You're looking for customer for your pastor?

I think you are the one that needs help from the clutches and deception of your pastors.

He's in America, quit the bullshit.

MrHenryFord:
I've been out of NYSC for almost 6 years now and to be honest, I am still struggling to make ends meet. I work where the pay is nothing to write home about and I have a small apartment I'm managing. It hasn't been easy at all. One of the problems being my mother who I see as a selfish and greedy person. She's this person that I can't discuss financial constraints with let's say an uncle or even my father in her presence. She'll tell them not to assist me that they're spoiling me, that those who are surviving on 20k monthly with wives and children don't have 2 heads.

As in I no get, I brought a business plan to my father. He's on the verge of assisting me and she convinced him not to help me and the man listened (he's a kind of person that even takes decisions from the woman. Sometimes I believe she must have jazzed him or something because honestly, that man doesn't know what he's doing again.

Funniest thing is that if she's the one the man wants to assist with even a million naira, she will be smiling happy. She no go talk say dem dey spoil her o.

I remember when my uncle sent money from abroad through her, she only gave me a tiny percentage . The man sent #500k to her to give me . She only gave me 30k and lied to the man she has given me the whole #500k. It was when I called the man to thank him I got to know. I just played along like I've received the whole sum inorder not to cause another problem between him and her.

Secondly, she always wants to rip where she didn't sow. I can use a pin to count how many favor she has done for me and my younger ones in this life but yet, she wants to make it an obligation to be taking care of her with the little I'm earning despite the fact that she's working and even earning x8 of what I earn.

Fine I'll give you when I have but no she no dey hear that one. Even wen I was doing NYSC in 2016. She called my grandma on phone and was crying that I refused to send her money.. I was dumbfounded. Me wey dey struggle in the streets of Kano with 19k alawee while she is working in Lagos earning more than 100k yet she still wants me to be sending money to her . It's not even that she contributes her salary to the house. It's my father that does everything. Even ordinary filling of gas cylinder na the man dey drop money.. It was so bad she started reporting me to all my uncles. Most of them who understood what I'm going through tried to talk to her but she wasn't having any of it

Thirdly, as I said in the first point above about my father being her puppet. My mother has a car she bought around 2014 and I can tell you she has never spent a dime on that car. Ordinary to use her money buy fuel na war. It's the man that fuels the car for her. If the car is faulty , she can abandon it for months until the man fixes it with is own money. When it spoils again, she abandons it again and the cycle continues. Meanwhile like I said, she works and earn above 100k monthly o. Sometimes I just keep wandering what she uses her money for because there's really nothing tangible she does to the house. (I have 3 siblings behind).

Lastly, this woman has been disturbing me to marry even as far back as when I was serving in 2016. Even till date, I keep telling her I'll settle when I am financially comfortable but she's always never ready to have any of that. Always using people like teachers and fuel attendants who earn less that 20k monthly and have wife and kids. Fine them get wife and born children but their wives are the type you see fighting with their neighbors and tearing their wrappers everyday. Their kids are the type you see on the streets driving tire naked , blowing banger up and down the streets and moving with bad boys.

Something is fishy with this story. It seems to me that you wrote this with an aim to measure people's opinions (just thinking)

Bobo use your head oo

Estellie:
This is how it should be buh will Nigerians listen? You see them birthing kids in poverty expecting some kind of miracle that will turn the kids into Otedolas tomorrow to take them out of poverty. Mtewwwww

It's a very bad mentality.

Guy or girl, 2022 you don dey yarn yeye, person no stable financially, make e go get pikin? You well?

Aidejay:
that woman wants grandchildren.

simple!

OP go and part one red sea and give her children of israel. You'll be surprised when she starts showering your bouncing babies with all sorts.

apart from that increase your hustle don't see her as a stumbling block but rather motivation once you overcome your financial issues these things become trivial instantly!

Isaacpromise1:


Torh!

Like a Yoruba adage says “one who listens to one person’s complaints and not the other before passing judgment is a wicked person”

“IF” actually the mother did all those things; what happened? Is that how she behaves to the other siblings? Has he taken any step to resolve whatever is happening between them?

u are a fool and a bastard..idiot...if u don't have anything to say..keep quiet..what a mumu,claiming righteousness with pastor and tradition...bastard

Munzy14:

Hehehehe okomoko awuhu ihe ntakiri o...Eji kwanu a ga ebe ole...Nwanyi daara di ya na umunne ya, ya erite ihe oma di iche iche na aka ha..

Okwa ya?

Eziokwu ka ikwuru o..Then my friend wu last born..madu asaa tooro ya...Onye toro ya direct jiri 8yrs tor ya...Okpara nne ya aguchaala skul tupu amuo ya, mana gi ihu nga okpo ga ha by their name eeh Ihe na afu kwanu ndi nwunye ha.. especially nke yoruba wu nwunye third son.

Ya wuru otu a, culture ha mara nma o..
Very respectful yes...O nwere a woman shi ebe ahu wu kwa my friend and business associate...O tor ka shiri m ahu o, mana gi hu nga okpo ga m sir sir...Very humbe though crazy Eji m azu ya ahia sef.
O si m bia luru ofu Nwaanyi ebe ke ha..lmao...

Yeah.

Ha na e nyekari ndi ebe 'ke ha nsopuru karikwa ndi ebe k'ozo.
But still...

I gwa gi eziokwu ihe ahu wu first thing m na lee na Nwaanyi ma m huta wa ya ka onye m choro i lu...How she will relate with my people matters..As the first, m nweta ya correctly, others will follow up...
Ihe wu ihe mere mma m ji dika owu nwunye first, even while my Dad is second..Even my grandma si o di ya ka mma mu owu nwunye opara ya...

Even mgbe anyi m di ntakiri, my uncles can't come around and go on empty stomach...Kama mma mu agawa emergency ahia immediately...

Nwunye opara ma nani onwe ya...Even di ya sef ochakwaranu acha n'ihu ya....Luck ha nwere wu mma m na nwunye last born enwehu nsogbu/greed and territorial stuffs associated with most selfish types like nwunye opara...Okwa ya wu na udo di na family..If not nsogbu...

Nwunye opara agahu school, I feel it affected her ways of reasoning....Nwunye opara kwesiri i di sound and intelligent...Maka o wu the second mummy general after otu a mma m di for the entire family....I pray I don't make that terrible mistake of getting it wrong.

Reminds me of my uncle's wife.

M gwa gi ihe ndi red flags my last ex mechara eeh, ya wuru my friend ya si m ga were ofu ewu awusa ga tuo mma mma na church otu chukwu shiri ji aka ya gbasaa the relationship...

Gi e lefuru the red flags anya.
O wu that "carried away" m gwaga gi nu.

OP is passing through a phase...Almost all guys do pass through after NYSC...The difference wu na onwehu ezigbo nne ga eme ya encourage rather nke ya gbuga his spirit.

Watch how she changes when he starts to earn big.

Most young ladies na adi kariri lucky, after or before nysc ofu nwoke gbaliga ofuma a bia luru ha...Lubaha na uwa oma ma ya wuru mma m ..

O rikwahu mma otu ahu o.
It is better for a lady to start earning money before getting married.

Mana anyi wu umu nwoke, o ji adi tough...Na when the struggle to succeed increases.
Until you start bringing something home, footing bills for parents even when they have their resources, ndi mma ga ele gi anya ka imere ha one or two

Ndi mma ha chokwaranu I ma?
Right ha wu right ha. Akuko ndi ozo a gbasahu ha!

I wuru a good hustler with grace as a guy, you will be the pride of your parents...Ihe mee gi obi eme ha voom!.

Had a little accident few days ago, O foro ihe ntakiri obi ama fuo mpa m.

Ihe mere mgbe o jiri rie nri abali wuzi 11pm..Afor machiri ya..Ya emechaa bia juo okwa onwe ehu oke ihe mere m

Nga I nyaga speed okwa ya? Werekwa wayo.
I fe a gaje olee?

Na text book I write like this...

Yeah. O foro m I de ule n'elu ya.