To my married sisters , How has married life affected your 'girl friends'?

I strongly believe that every married woman should have girlfriends, I just lost a friend and am having a difficult time accepting it. Am sure there's someone out there who has lost a friend in marriage - am curious to hear details and advice.

Same with some men with very jealous wife no more female friends and few brothers can come to the house , friday groove cut to once a month thing

What happened with your friend. Did you guys fight or did you decide you did not need her anymore because you were married

poster you sound like your friend died.

are you sure you wish her well.

well my husband aint stopping me from having friends, that would be a different ball game.

Nah, she's not dead. The relationship is dead or more or less fizzled out and it hurts like hell. We had a huge argument which i thought we had resolved but then she goes and drops this bombshell on me. She had issues with my husband and am not sure what it is exactly. she beat around the bush a lot and it really got my back up.

Older women keep saying its ok to be married without friends but i am really pissed at that comment! I strongly believe married women need thier friends,

I still have some of my friends. I think you should stay away from her but b4 you do that, what issues does she have with your hubby?

It all depends on the kinda friend

Well . . . I'm not married.

But I don't think it's a bad thing to lose a friend. Friends grow apart and honestly you have to learn to be flexible in life. If not, you remain stuck in a rut forever.  What I'm really worried about is her and your husband. If she was truly beating around the bush like you said, then there's something she wants to tell you but maybe your husband has told her not to.

But that's just my opinion anyways.

P.S ; What was the argument about?

NH you need to find out what she's been trying to tell you about your husband.

Still kept most of my friends . . .male and female though they are sort of family friends now.
My husband and family occupies the chairman's seat and topmost priority but my pals remains close to me.
@OP,what did she tell you or trying to tell you abt ya hubby

^^ You mean we collabo friends?

I think it's normal for friends to drift apart once one of them gets married,mostly because priorities change and the unmarried friends perceive it as you, feeling important because you are married and they are not.
IMO, I think you should just let your friend go, if she was really a true friend, she will try to be happy for you and not try creating problems.
You will make many more friends and as soon as the kids start rolling in, you will hardly have time for yourself talk less of friends, so just concentrate on your new marriage and enjoy,

awww. it sounds like the same thing i'm going through. part of it is my fault because i'm still trying to balance out everything, so i don't have as much time for them as i used to.
i agree that you still need to keep your friends. you were a complete person with a social life before that marriage, so you should be one after, but things do have to change.
i'm happy to say i haven't lost any friends i've had for a long time, but i've lost two friends i've made recently. i just wish i could spend more time with them-especially difficult since we live all over the place.
as for that friend, maybe things will change or improve down the line. you never know. just tell her how you feel and leave it at that.

I don't think having friends is really that important.

Any Friend who decides to go, quietly release them maybe they have finish their mission in your life after love insult follows

The next phase might be disaster

I also lost a friend shortly after getting married, and she behaved more or less like your friend. She didn't accept my husband from the day I met him, it had caused arguments between us before but after a few months of distance I thought everything was well, I now think she was just waiting or hoping for us to break up, after the wedding she started being very distant again, going out with other friends, not answering my calls, and so on. I stopped calling her and it has been a few years now that I don't have news. It really hurt for a few months and then I accepted to let her go.

We had a very close friendship before i met my husband, we were staying together a lot, always going out together, shopping together, cooking together, meeting other friends together, i guess my relationship with my husband made her no longer n.1 and that's probably what caused the friendship to end. She herself was engaged but in a long distance relationship, which didn't influence her daily life much.

You might try to talk to her again after some time but remember, some relationships are not meant to last.

Thanks a lot you guys, i love the different perspectives you have brought.

Miss Ife - our stories are surprisingly similar. very very similar infact.

I understand that friends can be for a season and some for a lifetime , i guess i was hoping this one would be for a lifetime and that is what i am struggling with.

jennykadry:

NH you need to find out what she's been trying to tell you about your husband.

Honestly i don't think i wanna know what she really thinks of my husband or what she really wanted to tell, me. The gist of it is that she does not like my husband and I sincerely think this is not about any hidden shenanigans. if he was a boyfriend then maybe i would wanna know but things are different now, (maybe that is the problem, )

stillwater:

I don't think having friends is really that important.

I really believe having friends while married is very important. I think it keeps you sane. they may not be very close friends but it should be like a breath of fresh air.

what is soooo annoying is that i am starting to question our friendship! I think I really need to let go

it a normal occurrence for a lady to get married and leave all her friends behind especially the single ones. Its something withing a woman that tell her level must change and its high time i drop all my old friends and start associating with the married ones as the single ones dont know what it means to be married.

But old friends are better than new ones. my dear just move on make sure you are not bitter towards her, wish her well and make new friends. life must continue

Married is a very big relationship between boys and girl the of human right should be understand each other then the parents agree to with him.

Depends on your past and lifestyle.
If you have always been a good girl, this should not be a problem. But if on the contrary you have been wayward, for your own good you need top part with some old friends who push and lead you to temptation.

I still keep in touch with my single friends but not as much. I also am trying to make new married friends especially friends with kids. I want to be able to go somewhere with my husband and kids and have everyone be friends.

Sometimes, my single friends don't get it. They want me to come and hang out Friday after work. Can't do so cos my baby is at home. Then they start avoiding the party pooper.

I have to do that cos i spend so much time away from my baby and my husband that i appreciate every little time i get to be with them. That is why i am in the market for family friends. lol.

I stopped talking to a friend of mine just because she does not like my husband( then he was still my fiance), i don't have time to be choosing beween my husband and friend. I personally cherish friendship, but now, i have other things to think about, i still have my close friends from my university days and they are all married, except one, who i just realised had bad belle all along, and she is riding alone.

Married with no friends rule, only applies to women, women who are extremely possessive with low- self esteem. There are some single people out there who need mentors --- anyhoo, married men complain about their crazy wives to their single friends or other married men. Oo ga!

Its so important to have girlfriends ,
I practically dragged hubby to watch mama mia movie with me when it came out , i mean P.whipping and all , yet he kept on sleeping at the cinema .
Made me feel like I violated his brain.
So for bridesmaid movie i gathered mi girlfriends and had a good laugh while he went with his boys to watch the new transformer or play golf.
I like to have other interests and fun and feel like a babe !

I practically dragged hubby to watch mama mia movie with me when it came out

huh?

torture.

^Very interesting responses. I guess it all depends on your type of personality. Some ladies are outgoing social butterflys that need constant contact and interaction with their 'girlfriends' in order to maintain their own 'sanity'. Other ladies are more introverted and perfectly happy with no 'close' girlfriends and/or just the occasional hangout/outing with old/new friends.

Everyone just has to figure out what works for their marriage that both husband & wife are happy and comfortable with. Having friends is good, just have to be careful not to talk too much about your marriage and share things with them you shouldn't.

the less friends u gat the less problem , . .ure married u really dont need the ladies.

no permanent friends or enemies , life gotta spurn on

I recently lost a friend as well and it still hurts, i think her main issue forgiving me is that she thinks i judged her husband, what ever that means, it's been about 10 months and i've tried to reach out but i guess her mind is made up. When i was younger i'd be the first to cut anyone off, but as i'm getting older true friendships are uber important. .weird thing is we are got along like crazy and the fall out was kinda my fault, oh well, life happens i guess.

I think it is silly to have just married friends because one is married. Do you go back to those single friends when they are married and tell them the friendship can resume?
Important is only that friends do not have a negative impact on the marriage.

What da phock for?
Idle gossip and petty jealousies and unhealthy competition?
Tufiaaaaaaaaaakwa! I ain't gat time for such BORRRRRRRRRRRRING SHYTE!

I don't keep 'GAL FRIENDS'! Especially IF THEY ARE MISSSSSSSSEBLE, BORN-AGAIN SINGLES. . . . OR DIVORCED BY GOD OR MAN!
Only MARRIED BOYFRIENDS WITH BEAUTIFUL LIVING WIVES! NOT UGLY BYTCHIZ as MGBEKE-LOKITO-WIVES!

Levels please!

I keep platonic friends that goes a long way during crisis...and we love ourselves for that.....birds of the same feather flocks together ..... I love my space, they love their space, and are mostly married women..... So keeping them , after marriage is no biggie ....it's gud... As long, no discussion of my husband and our way of living....we can discuss our career , how to handle babies and inlaws.....so am cool with it, especially when we all have minds of our own.....it's ok to av good friends.