Though not by choice, she is in love with two men; making a decision is a little difficult; she needs your help.
Please, read and advise her.


Dear,
I am sure you will be surprised at my letter and even some of your readers might think I am outright stupid. But what I know is that everyone is entitled to his or her opinion and we all deserve to be happy at some time of our lives.

I am in my early 40s, a single mother of three boys. I have a good job and business enterprise that I was able to build from nothing without anybody’s help. One of the secrets of my success, however, lies in the fact that I am meticulous and thorough with anything I lay my hands on. But it is still a surprise to people and me that I cocouldn't manage my two failed marriages.

But, of course, I have my first husband to thank for the grace of being able to have my three boys by one man. He loved children, we had a good relationship, but I really could not say what happened along the line.

You know what happens when you have a failed relationship, and you believe that the knight in a shinning amour who comes after and promises to give all you missed in the failed relationship is godsend.

That was exactly what happened in my second marriage, I, knew that I rushed things a little and the more reason I am trying to take my time with the relationships I am into now.

I have made up my mind not to ever commit myself into matrimony ever again and up till now by the grace of God, I have been able to hold on to my resolve and I have no intentions of changing it.

Some of my friends’ argument and concern is about my old age, they fear the fact that I might suffer from severe loneliness, but believe me, I am not thinking of old age now, I am sure I will be able to cross that bridge when I get there.

However, my reason of writing and wanting your counsel is because of my present state. I am into relationship with two men, they are about my age, the funniest thing, however, is that both of them are into the same business. In fact, you can correctly call them rivals even in the business world.

My problem is that I love both of them the same way; I cannot separate my feelings for them. Both of them are equally good to me. They both spoil me financially and emotionally ever one lacks he makes up in the other’s shortcomings.

The only thing, however, is that one is devoted to our relationship, while the other is always too busy, but he makes up with gifts.

The one who has more time is a little bit possessive and he is already suspecting that I am into another relationship.

I really would hate to hurt either of them by pulling out of the relationship. They both have been there for me in their own way, but it is becoming a task trying to keep one away from the other.

I know I am being absurd by trying to keep the two of them, I know sooner or later I might have to let one go, but I am not really ready for that. I have an understanding with both of them that I am not interested in marriage.

Please, how do I handle this situation? I am not a kid, but sometimes no matter how old or wise, there are some situations we cannot handle by ourselves, help me.

Monisola, Lekki, Lagos

I personally don't think she should marry either one of them

Go with the one that is more devoted, in the relationship, and it is ok to be a little possessive, nobody would like to share her boyfriend/husband or girlfriend/wife, with another.

What is it they say again about a f00l at 40

Ujujoan:

What is it they say again about a f00l at 40

Bad belle.

Ujujoan:

What is it they say again about a f00l at 40

In fact you took the words right out of my mouth. Here is a woman who is successful and has a man who is serious enough to be with her but she has basically already sabotaged herself again and I don't think she even knows it. The man who wants her will think differently about it when he knows that she has been carrying on with someone else. She has personal issues. maybe she feels she does not deserve that sort of devotion. There are people who are like that. Unconsciously sabotage themselves. Hopefully the guy that is crazy about her can see this and be willing to help her through it. She obviously cannot help herself. yeye.

^^another bad belle.

Outstrip:

In fact you took the words right out of my mouth. Here is a woman who is successful and has a man who is serious enough to be with her but she has basically already sabotaged herself again and I don't think she even knows it. The man who wants her will think differently about it when he knows that she has been carrying on with someone else. She has personal issues. maybe she feels she does not deserve that sort of devotion. There are people who are like that. Unconsciously sabotage themselves. Hopefully the guy that is crazy about her can see this and be willing to help her through it. She obviously cannot help herself. yeye.

You are obviously angry and rightfully so!

well to me i think you need to first look @ your past relationships and outlined what went wrong, what were my own contributions and my partners.
the fact is even if you stay till you r 60 you r bound to face the same issues until you iron them out.

currently you r duin urself harm by not identifying ur needs as a woman are, which of these men meets those needs, don't deceive urself by thinking u seriously needs a man, all u need a man for is intimacy ONLY.

DON'T give them conditions just choose whoever is qualified.

thanks.