Hydronium:



I feel you bro.

But why don't we consider first and foremost that marriage has a lot of positives, the companionship, mutualness, shared burdens etc.

If anything, we should focus more on the positives than on the negatives as we tend to be what we constantly look at, or don't you think?

Of course, I'm not negating what you first said. We need to take stock first, and be sure we have enough to embark on the 'forever' journey.

There are two things that sustains marriage especially here in Africa.
1 Money
2 Children.

Though some have it enough and still the marriage didn't work.

I wish I had relocated abroad.Now much responsibilities wan kill me...

sophirebenitez:


It's better that the woman is a virgin and the man has more experience. Don't quote me.

What is good for the goose is equally good for the gander.

Who can verify this?

I believe the first is to save for a land and work to build the house....it is relative sha...not for those who are in metropolis.

Anfieldboss:
Buy a car. I seriously regret not buying a car before getting married. Now I earn more but family expenses is making it difficult for me to save. I have always loved Ride Hailing, and I would have conveniently be doing it as a side hustle.

My advice to young men, if you earn average say between 150-250k per month, ensure you buy a car before you get married, else it will be more difficult for you when you are married.

Nothing really. I lived my single years... Was a bit of a workaholic but it was fulfilling. Now I'm married and I have nothing I think I missed out on.

Whynow:
Certifcate, diploma ni
Brother I beg you in the name of Obinigwe, please speak for yourself...

Incidentally, not all relationships /partners are shams. Need to learn to look on the bright side.
Besides, like begets like, so the only reason you get wrong partners is because you're wrong yourself. Try reorienting to being the right person you're expecting and see wonders.

So... I have nothing to be afraid of.

faithfull18:

Yes, satisfying. Stop discouraging chastity in order to sound woke. Those who slept around, leaving a part of themselves with everyone they had sex with were once virgins. It's better for partners to be virgins and they both get to learn.

I am certain if everyone adhered, the rate of infidelity and stories related to it won't be as much as we have it now.

OP, you are doing well.

Story for the gods.

faithfull18:

What is good for the goose is equally good for the gander.

By all means.
Let's stop segregating society

Hydronium:


Right. Incidentally, one of the things my fiancee and I agreed on earlier is to not have children in our first year. So we can have time to do a few 'things'...

Good idea especially if you have both agreed on it. Good luck.

Hydronium:


Right. Incidentally, one of the things my fiancee and I agreed on earlier is to not have children in our first year. So we can have time to do a few 'things'...

You’re going to need advice from the experts on how to prevent that, since you’re both novices in that department.
From what I’ve noticed, if care is not taken, they’d come back to back before you know what’s up.

Na una type dey born twins as first sef.

i am getting married in 2 weeks time and honestly i am already thinking of all the drama i am currently facing if this is what i will be facing till forever

Mariangeles:


You’re going to need advice from the experts on how to prevent that, since you’re both novices in that department.
From what I’ve noticed, if care is not taken, they’d come back to back before you know what’s up.

Na una type dey born twins as first sef.

Hehehe lol
So I'm open to learning. How do I go about it

sekundosekundo:


There are two things that sustains marriage especially here in Africa.
1 Money
2 Children.

Though some have it enough and still the marriage didn't work.

True about money.
But honestly, there were certain key values that stood out for each of us when we were entering the relationship. The lack thereof indicated that we were not compatible each other. So our values had to align first before other things, that is, values before money/children.

Mom007:
Nothing really. I lived my single years... Was a bit of a workaholic but it was fulfilling. Now I'm married and I have nothing I think I missed out on.

Awesome happy for you
Perhaps there are some survival (day to day) tips you can share then

Hydronium:


Hehehe. I get your point. But they say experience is the best teacher. Better to learn from those who've gone ahead than go through it myself...

Some of the truth is that, your marriage is your marriage and nobody may be able to talk to you about your marriage and how to handle and manage your marriage. One of the important things is knowing the basic things of marriage and in marriage... Every other thing are a result of your timing, priorities and purposes. Love is the fulfilment of law. Not a bad idea to be asking for experience... The experience you had and things you learnt when living with your parent would be invaluable too as it may guide you while making some decision. Farewell and bon voyage... Essentially, the fear of GOD is the begining of wisdom... "Iwe ofin yii ni mo pamo ni okan mi ki emi oma baa se si o" . Experience is evolving&continual &sometimes, it is good to have first hand experience just like when... first hand information.

faithfull18:

Yes, satisfying. Stop discouraging chastity in order to sound woke. Those who slept around, leaving a part of themselves with everyone they had sex with were once virgins. It's better for partners to be virgins and they both get to learn.

I am certain if everyone adhered, the rate of infidelity and stories related to it won't be as much as we have it now.

OP, you are doing well.

Naturally, nobody need to learn how to copulate in marriage... Because people are fornicators... They have invented and adopted various ways to copulate... Some are also recording themselves while fornicating and committing adultery, sending and selling for others to watch... We have billions of porn and sex movies, viral sex videos,etc showing and propagating different sex styles and position... You can imagine them inventing missionary style... Or whatsoever...Missionary suppose to relate to sex? Maybe there would soon be seminary style. Adam&eve don't learn how to have sex...

Hydronium:


Awesome happy for you
Perhaps there are some survival (day to day) tips you can share then

My biggest tip is that one should be happy as a single person. Enjoy your own company, not every time hang out, hang out. If you are happy single, you will he happier married because you won't be too needy and clingy when your spouse is not around.
Spend your own money on yourself! Not every time beggi beggi. It will help you appreciate the value of money and appreciate gifts if someone is kind enough to give you any.
Take yourself out. I learnt that from my big sis. Do nice things for yourself. That 2k u will spend on sharwama or pepper chicken and icecream for yourself will not kill you.
Have at least 3 days in the month where you just switch off your phone and toss it under your pillow and just go about your day! It may seem like the world will end if you do but its a lie. You will not miss anything and nobody will miss you. It helps us know that rush rush life is not it. Nothing is that important.
Finally, seek God and have a personal relationship with Him when you are still single! Its easier to maintain a relationship you have already started than starting one when you are married as too many distractions! You see some people, they become born again after marriage, its because marriage is not a bed of roses o... You really need the grace of God and the spirit of wisdom and understanding to be successful in marriage but its hard to find the time to commit to God, read your bible, pray etc when you are married and having so many added responsibilities but when you have started it since your single years, its easier to manage.

Sex is not for pleasure, it is like an infrastructure to obtain GODS' treasure which is the baby or the child. No amount of sexual pleasure with pressure can give you GODS treasure. You are not assure to get GODS treasure if all your pressure is to have sex as pleasure... Ensure and be sure not to have sex as pleasure so you can obtain GODS treasure... The culture of sex is not to have pleasure but to obtain a treasure with GODS nature... Not all treasure from GOD would have GODS nature, especially when the culture of sexual intercourse is to have pleasure... Sexual intercourse should not be a culture of pleasure adventure or an adventure of pleasure... It should be a culture (not a culture of pleasure adventure or adventure of pleasure) when you are mature to receive a treasure that is mature in and with GODS nature.

Hydronium:


Lol. Thanks tho but I don't believe in that. My fiancee & I are 'certified' virgins and looking forward to a satisfying sex life.

you'll be disappointed

Nothing.

Ok, maybe saved a lil bit more.

Hmmm

Mom007:

My biggest tip is that one should be happy as a single person. Enjoy your own company, not every time hang out, hang out. If you are happy single, you will he happier married because you won't be too needy and clingy when your spouse is not around.
Spend your own money on yourself! Not every time beggi beggi. It will help you appreciate the value of money and appreciate gifts if someone is kind enough to give you any.
Take yourself out. I learnt that from my big sis. Do nice things for yourself. That 2k u will spend on sharwama or pepper chicken and icecream for yourself will not kill you.
Have at least 3 days in the month where you just switch off your phone and toss it under your pillow and just go about your day! It may seem like the world will end if you do but its a lie. You will not miss anything and nobody will miss you. It helps us know that rush rush life is not it. Nothing is that important.
Finally, seek God and have a personal relationship with Him when you are still single! Its easier to maintain a relationship you have already started than starting one when you are married as too many distractions! You see some people, they become born again after marriage, its because marriage is not a bed of roses o... You really need the grace of God and the spirit of wisdom and understanding to be successful in marriage but its hard to find the time to commit to God, read your bible, pray etc when you are married and having so many added responsibilities but when you have started it since your single years, its easier to manage.

Wow. A truckload of wise sayings

Offpoint1:

you'll be disappointed

I won't. I promise.
And I can give you updates if you want...

Hydronium:


I won't. I promise.
And I can give you updates if you want...

Not interested in update, you'll create a thread when it's time.

Offpoint1:

Not interested in update, you'll create a thread when it's time.

Offpoint, you will surely be disappointed, you need to change your circle. In Nigeria alone, there are about 200million people and virgins still abound. Smh.

God bless you, more wisdom

Munzy14:

Satisfying you say For two novice? Super story.


Anyways to your question..They said marriage is an Institution you will never graduate from...Just prepare your mindset and have good understanding, develope ability to listen more than you talk.

Pray for wisdom to make critical decisions and lead the home as the man with equity and fairness.

Nice one, your head oil full am

Mom007:

My biggest tip is that one should be happy as a single person. Enjoy your own company, not every time hang out, hang out. If you are happy single, you will he happier married because you won't be too needy and clingy when your spouse is not around.
Spend your own money on yourself! Not every time beggi beggi. It will help you appreciate the value of money and appreciate gifts if someone is kind enough to give you any.
Take yourself out. I learnt that from my big sis. Do nice things for yourself. That 2k u will spend on sharwama or pepper chicken and icecream for yourself will not kill you.
Have at least 3 days in the month where you just switch off your phone and toss it under your pillow and just go about your day! It may seem like the world will end if you do but its a lie. You will not miss anything and nobody will miss you. It helps us know that rush rush life is not it. Nothing is that important.
Finally, seek God and have a personal relationship with Him when you are still single! Its easier to maintain a relationship you have already started than starting one when you are married as too many distractions! You see some people, they become born again after marriage, its because marriage is not a bed of roses o... You really need the grace of God and the spirit of wisdom and understanding to be successful in marriage but its hard to find the time to commit to God, read your bible, pray etc when you are married and having so many added responsibilities but when you have started it since your single years, its easier to manage.

Whatever make you happy do it

PastorMIsBack:


Good idea especially if you have both agreed on it. Good luck.

what of a man marrying a single mother with 3 kids already?

Hydronium:

I won't. I promise. And I can give you updates if you want...

marriage na scam jare.

faithfull18:

Offpoint, you will surely be disappointed, you need to change your circle. In Nigeria alone, there are about 200million people and virgins still abound. Smh.

I don't keep no circles sweetheart and I ain't saying there ain't no virgins... But I've been around enough to detect one.

Hydronium:


I don't mind o bros

Lol, I no dey charge nor collect money. How I wish the entire world can be full of Blissfulness without Issues but they say that's for Heaven ...

Oya assignment for you as I don help you wellwell:

Focus Your Brain Moderately overtime on how to Satisfy Your Wife and Let your wonderful Brain take you through the world in search for answers:

You can use the above tip for anything:

I for teach you but I no wan too spoil You, You be Man Na ... Oya enter Bush carry Antelope come home Na!