Marrying Without Any Source Of Income As A Lady - Family - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Marrying Without Any Source Of Income As A Lady (26125 Views)
Mum Rejects Car Gift From Son, Questions His Source Of Wealth (Pix, Video) / Married Men With No/ Low Source Of Income, How Are You Coping? / Share Your Experience After Marrying Without Your Mother's Or Father's Consent (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (Reply) (Go Down)
| Marrying Without Any Source Of Income As A Lady by Darlingme(f): 7:13am On Mar 29, 2022 |
Based on my own opinion, a young lady who has no job, skills that is fetching her money should NOT go into marriage with any man. The general idea you read online about independent / career young ladies been arrogant, ''can't get married'', ''men detest them'', bla bla bla are all lies in reality. So long as you have good character and well behaved, men will be running after you to be your husband even if you are as rich as Dangote. (Who no like better thing?) The young lady I met in the hospital yesterday, beaten up by her husband, truamatized and at the point of death, got me really mad and I feel like using a microphone to ask this question. I pray she survive it. My question is this? Why do women goes into marriage without having any source of income on their own? Why? And why do men prefer marrying young and fianancially helpless women, (village girls) then accuse her of not contributing fianancially, especially when fianancial obligations beomes too heavy in the marriage? Why? What is your opinion on this? 109 Likes 12 Shares |
| Re: Marrying Without Any Source Of Income As A Lady by Pierocash(m): 7:25am On Mar 29, 2022 |
If she gets to 35 and has no tangible means of income,she shouldn't marry when she sees a man ready to marry her abi? The beating of that woman to a pulp by her husband is not because she is jobless,even gainfully employed ones dey collect better beating if she runs her mouth afoul towards a man that has beating talent A woman that is jobless and has bad character ,and ingrate will for sure endure hardship in that marriage ,not because she is jobless ,but because she has no sense .. 205 Likes 15 Shares |
| Re: Marrying Without Any Source Of Income As A Lady by flames007(m): 7:30am On Mar 29, 2022 |
You're accurate in your observation. I blame the society we now live in. Both parties are to blame. Any man that detests a strong, independent career woman is a coward. To be honest, some men don't have it in them being with a strong, independent woman else they might die of insecurity. Asides that, some of them need someone that they can continuously lord over, even cheat on. But because she's totally helpless(financially) nothing will happen. It's a disgusting mindset really. There's a lot I want to say on this but let me stop here. To women, I only have one quote for you: when a woman begins to feel that she can get by on her looks alone, her minds stops to mature. ponder on this and you would see why many women cannot hold their own. She's been deceived into believing that a guy should spend on her even if she doesn't bring anything worthwhile to the table. A friend of mine asked my opinion about what to do with her friend Praise(not real name). Apparently, praise's boyfriend broke up with her and and now she was totally helpless. I asked, "what do you mean by helpless?" "all this time while she was living with her boyfriend. Now that they broke up she wants to stay with me" "simple, be a friend in need and try and accommodate her. Praise needs you now more than ever". Then I got the shocker "you don't understand, she doesn't have anything. I don't have much right now and am managing myself. won't she eat?" Omor I just shock. I told her g God will give her wisdom regarding the issue. Why will a lady choose to become so dependent? Bottom line, it takes two people with that kind of mindset to make a dysfunctional couple. As for me, I need a strong, independent woman in my life. 100 Likes 12 Shares |
| Re: Marrying Without Any Source Of Income As A Lady by Tickles001(m): 7:41am On Mar 29, 2022 |
Men don't want money from women. What we want is chastity, clean heart and submission. The three is mostly never found in older women that have achieved something. If not for the woke culture. It's never in the place of a woman to bring money to support the family. That's why most men go for the chastity first because she could stay in his house and start business. 63 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Marrying Without Any Source Of Income As A Lady by Darlingme(f): 7:49am On Mar 29, 2022 |
@pierocash, in my own opinion, age shouldn't be the requirement at all. There are certain things that must be put in place first before marriage and failure to do that always turns bad in the marriage Whether she's 35 or 40yrs in a marriage she can not add little support, there's a tendency of running her mouth when the man can not provide, not considering the pressure on the man. To be on a safe side, women should be encouraged to define a source of income as well. 26 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: Marrying Without Any Source Of Income As A Lady by Darlingme(f): 8:06am On Mar 29, 2022 |
Tickles001:This is exactly what most of you said, but in reality, it's not true. When she ask you for money for everything in the home, the same you go about complaining. She has no fianancial source of income, but because she's naive, humble and you foresee submission ability in her, you married her. When marital responsibilities set in, you begin to desire a helper, a supporter. You begin to long for a wife, who will buy Maggie, pepper, pay children school fees, subscribe electricity, buy gas, make nice meal without bothering you. Why? Don't you consider all that before you marry her? Men need fianancially equipped woman to survive. She must be earning something. 135 Likes 12 Shares |
| Re: Marrying Without Any Source Of Income As A Lady by Tickles001(m): 9:14am On Mar 29, 2022 |
Darlingme: This is not true. It only happens when she's taking your money and sending it to family and friends like they usually do. Every man wants to provide for a woman. I haven't seen a man living within his means with his wife making such complaints about wife not bringing money. Darlingme: No. If a man complain about such responsibilities, then he didn't prepare or living larger than his growth permits. I have been paying all those bills you listed (except the children cost) and I've not died. So I think I can cope without wife's money, if I keep things within my financial capacity. In marriage, upkeep money is usually set aside and handed to the wife so she doesn't always have to ask or inform the husband for little expenses. Darlingme: Only men who are not capable make such consideration, and it never works. What capable men consider is their own capacity and preparedness. Darlingme: Wrong again. In practice. A woman's money is exclusively her money, and never in direct service to the husband. See. It's not like men don't like when a woman has money to spend, but it comes with a cost that makes the union more like a punishment to the man. We want a girl that will grow in our sight. Take her when she's young and happy. Then find something she can do and fix her there. Not necessarily for money but to keep her active like everyone else. She could still help if she wants to. 28 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: Marrying Without Any Source Of Income As A Lady by Pierocash(m): 9:19am On Mar 29, 2022 |
Darlingme:it is that tendency to run her mouth that she should control and kill. If it were that easy she should have had something tangible before coming into marriage. So the fact that she doesn't have anything tangible even at her age means it is not that easy,so that should make her appreciate the little that comes from the man and not running her mouth And whether age is something to consider to determine marriage, yes, age should be factored in. There is time for everything,if the time passes you,you have lost out. If you are supposed to start schooling at basic level from childhood and that passes to puberty stage,you have done great loss and damage to yourself. Same applies to marriage on the side of the woman,if you lose out on having a tangible source of income,should you also miss out on marriage because you lost out securing a tangible source of income? We've seen women who married with nothing,but got everything in marriage,so why wasting away looking for tangible source of income and pass the age of marriage ,instead of simply developing good characters and morals that will qualify you for a successful marriage journey? That is the worth of a woman and not her source of income 17 Likes |
| Re: Marrying Without Any Source Of Income As A Lady by Nobody: 9:22am On Mar 29, 2022 |
Darlingme: But men have been surviving before they got married na, so what is all this one you're saying  ....Well... There's lots of truth in what you're saying ...Jobless women shouldn't get married ...5 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Marrying Without Any Source Of Income As A Lady by Nobody: 9:29am On Mar 29, 2022 |
Look, let me not lie. I used to have that mentality of " only a man should work and cater for the family" because that was the kind of condition I was brought up. Where my dad didn't allow my Mom to work or do anything for years until our last born started school. My dad was the only one shouldering all the financial responsibilities but My Mom on the other hand was always fighting to also get something doing but my dad would have none of it. Not until, we were all grown. Now, growing up in that kinda setting conditioned my mind badly and I never saw the need for a woman to be financially independent. So I was always seeing Marriage as an escape from financial insecurities. Though one good thing my dad did to brake that jinx was, he made sure we worked after schooling. Like he'll practically take you to his friends ( he was highly connected) companies and tell the to fix you up with a job but within me, I'll be like if I marry all these nonsense will stop lol..  . Little did I know he was doing me a great deal of good.Years down the line, after he retired and I was out of the house, staying on my own, i quarreled with my ex over money for Xmas hair because I was out of job then. So, later he came and we made up again. That night he said something very profound that changed my mentality for good. He said, see, "J gurl" I want a working class woman. Immediately I got the message and we t job hunting. Now, I didn't go job hunting to please him but because I knew at that instant that I was on my own! So I get to take full responsibility of myself. His joy when I told him I had gotten a job. He surprised me in school that day. The security man told me someone was at the gate to see me but I couldn't go and meet him. So he dropped a gift for me. I checked and it was a designer perf I had been dying to have for long. I just shook my head. Mehn.. so from then, I concluded all men are the same. Some may not voice out but.. they all wish their women are financially independent. I now have this belief that, even if you're not going to support the man with it, at least you should be able to use it to take care of your personal needs and ease your own burden off him. I'm glad my dad lead me in the way of financial freedom and my ex emphasized on it. And finally how God breath on it and took me to where I am today. 99 Likes 10 Shares |
| Re: Marrying Without Any Source Of Income As A Lady by LisaAnneMia: 9:32am On Mar 29, 2022 |
If only more women knew this! As a woman, you need to add value to yourself, know a little bit about many things and have something doing for yourself before getting married. Before the end of last year, I told every guy that came my way that I wasn't working and can't be in a relationship with them. Until my mom advised me that it's not like I'm getting married now and I should just give one of them a chance I just like seeing when a woman isn't totally dependent on a man...I get goosebumps. In this case, that yeye question "what are you bringing to the table?" won't be asked...which mouth does he even want to use to ask that question when he sees that you're your own woman? And it's easier for an independent woman to be submissive to a man who is kind and understanding. Love usually isn't enough. 17 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Marrying Without Any Source Of Income As A Lady by LisaAnneMia: 9:36am On Mar 29, 2022 |
Pierocash:Even with distractions from nurturing children and taking care of the home? 1 Like |
| Re: Marrying Without Any Source Of Income As A Lady by Aforxzy(f): 10:12am On Mar 29, 2022 |
No man wants to marry a liability and no woman should be a liability to anyone. I detest seeing mothers become helpless because they are foolish enough to marry without a source of livelihood. No matter how small do something. The husband might tell you he's capable of taking care of you but what happens when you start having children? You still expect only him to carry all the load when you can assist? Marrying without any source of income is FOOLISHNESS 33 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Marrying Without Any Source Of Income As A Lady by Saintmary(f): 10:28am On Mar 29, 2022 |
Darlingme: A man will gladly marry someone lesser than him to maintain control. It's all about control. The earlier you understand, the better for you as a lady. For a Nigerian man o, I don't know about the rest. If they can't control you, they might find it difficult to settle down with you. Now that sounds bad but that's the way it is. Anyone who has a contrary opinion is only an exception. P. S. If you've never been married, don't say you're different until you're married. That's when we will know your true color. 41 Likes 6 Shares |
| Re: Marrying Without Any Source Of Income As A Lady by Nobody: 12:26pm On Mar 29, 2022 |
. 15 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Marrying Without Any Source Of Income As A Lady by Darlingme(f): 2:06pm On Mar 29, 2022 |
@Tickles001, I'm not disputing your point of view, but the only thing I'm saying here is, women needs to be fianancially rooted in marriage as well. Not to drag power with her man, but for her own personal comfortability. 14 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Marrying Without Any Source Of Income As A Lady by ifytrik(m): 2:37pm On Mar 29, 2022 |
Darlingme: |
| Re: Marrying Without Any Source Of Income As A Lady by abobote: 2:37pm On Mar 29, 2022 |
In our culture it is not in a place of woman to provide for the family, but if there's a source of income that will not alter the family equation, it should be an added advantage. Most ladies with source of income, don't understand the place of a woman in a home, they claim equal right, and want you to share domestic work with them, since they are contributing financially. My wife doesn't have any source of income, and I'm okay with it She is keeping the house clean, do the cooking, wake up early, get the kids ready and take them to school 20 Likes |
| Re: Marrying Without Any Source Of Income As A Lady by iCauseTrouble: 2:37pm On Mar 29, 2022 |
 |
| Re: Marrying Without Any Source Of Income As A Lady by veekid(m): 2:37pm On Mar 29, 2022 |
Marriage na source of income to most naija ladies... 5 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: Marrying Without Any Source Of Income As A Lady by ecomalchemistry: 2:38pm On Mar 29, 2022 |
Okay 2 Likes |
| Re: Marrying Without Any Source Of Income As A Lady by Pojomojo: 2:38pm On Mar 29, 2022 |
The economy of our nation demands a family to have multiple sources of income so as to ensure that daily needs are met as and when due. Women should work to assist in the upkeep of the home. Those of you who have female children who are about to get married should ensure that they have a means of survival before doing so. A girl either educated or not without any source of personal income has no business getting married. SIMPLE! Meanwhile you can check my signature to learn about crypto. 2 Likes |
| Re: Marrying Without Any Source Of Income As A Lady by MathewOG(m): 2:38pm On Mar 29, 2022 |
No need to argue back and forth on this matter. When you get married, it will be clearer. Till then, you can keep observing and concluding. 1 Like 2 Shares |
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (Reply)
Lost His Wife About A Year Ago, Planning To Go Into Relationship Again / Should I Get Married To Her Now? / Married Men With No/ Low Source Of Income, How Are You Coping?
(Go Up)
| Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 72 |