marriage - Family - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / marriage (1991 Views)
| marriage by chidikus: 5:13pm On Jul 07, 2011 |
kkkkk |
| Re: marriage by sistajay(f): 5:17pm On Jul 07, 2011 |
Abeg go make your marriage work. Are you a failure or a WINNER! Work it out with her, TALK, TALK TALK! |
| Re: marriage by chibaby5(f): 5:17pm On Jul 07, 2011 |
Awww talk to her. Tell her how u feel abwt what she does dat u dnt lyk. A wife shud b able to feel ur pain and adjust to please her husband for peace to reign in her home . Wish u many many more years in ur marriage  |
| Re: marriage by Nobody: 5:20pm On Jul 07, 2011 |
There are numerous women who are willing to make you happy outside your marriage.  You won't find happiness in the grave. |
| Re: marriage by 190: 5:21pm On Jul 07, 2011 |
Her ex boyfriend is clearly working behind the scenes POSTER is your wife' name JULIE if thats her name - then ask her what business she still has with her ex boyfriend |
| Re: marriage by Dyt(f): 5:24pm On Jul 07, 2011 |
Cm 2 me i can mk u happy n 4get ur hm bt seriously dude its ur hm u gotta mk it work by all means she prolly loves u 2much dats y she acts dat way |
| Re: marriage by chibaby5(f): 5:28pm On Jul 07, 2011 |
^Good point. Sum women act childish and loose control arround the man they love. That sed, they've dated for awhile b4 marriage I suppose so she shud b used to him  |
| Re: marriage by obowunmi(m): 6:28pm On Jul 07, 2011 |
She's 26 ? How old are you ? Who forced her to marry ? |
| Re: marriage by Nobody: 6:34pm On Jul 07, 2011 |
Erm Poster! You may Disagree all you want with what i'm about to Spew, But i dont give a hic . Will just say my mind, Takes it or leaves it!. . . One Question. . . W.T.F is wrong with you? From all your rant about your wife, i picked Nada! She has done nothing to deserve this treatment she is receiving from you. All She actually did is "sumtimes behaves like a kid, Cries a lot, loves too much sugar, and always provokes me(with what if may ask ), always moody, sumtimes she pushes me to go out side(How), she behaves like a kid, cos of loneliness, blah blah blah. . . . B.U.L.L.PooLike Chi Baby Said" Sum women act childish and loose control arround the man they love. That sed, they've dated for awhile b4 marriage I suppose so she shud b used to him" This are Just Signs Of a Woman That Loves You so so Much. She's Only Probably thinking about her state of unemployment and that's what's making her moody. But again, How you wan take know? 1.Is She Violent? 2.Is she sleeping with your Neighbor? 3.Has she stopped Loving You? 4. Do you Argue Alot? 5. Apart from the loneliness, moodiness stuff, does she Nag You I mean these are Questions that should Warrant A divorce and Not those Gibberish Things you typed above. . . Seriously Dude, You are the one Acting like a kid around here! Yes Na Me Talk It! Why? You are the Man of the House Have you bothered to find Out from here why she is always moody? Why she's lonely? Did you actually consider that she is the last born so she may have been "Over Petted"? Why didn't you Correct these Ish befor you married Her? Whatever happened to communication? If you Cant Make her Happy and drive away her loneliness as her husband, then who will? Me? And Yes! Some thing whispers to me that you are getting "some" outside, and you confide more to the lady in question. She knows all about what is going on in ya House, and all about ya wife. She fills your head with Rubbish all the time, and when u come home and see your "Childish Wife", all you think about is your mistress. . . CAPISCE? My Advice Love Your Wife For who she is, and Not the Barbie Doll You Want her to Be!!! DIVORCE HER AND BE MISERABLE THE REST OF YA LIFE!!! |
| Re: marriage by ronkebp(f): 6:37pm On Jul 07, 2011 |
I will advice you to talk to her (have a conversation) , maybe there is something bothering her that she can't bring herself to tell you, and overlook some of her behaviours, am sure she had been that way but you never noticed it, but now that you are living together it is a different story, she should try getting a job, it might keep her busy, it would be boring for her to just sit home all day, especially if she is someone that is used to going out. Also don't be thinking about divorce at every little thing, your complains are changeable, i know they are bothering you but overlook them. Pamper her, she wants to be spoilt by you, try different approach and see if it would change her, moreover your marraige is still very fresh, it would take a while for things to go the way you expect them to. Don't think about getting what you want outside, infact you will get worst, if you knew there were better ladies out there, you wouldn't have married your wife, you felt she was the best of the bunch that was why you said ' for better or worse'. Marriage is all about using wisdom in everything. |
| Re: marriage by dayokanu(m): 8:14pm On Jul 07, 2011 |
So being an full time Housewife is no longer the ideal thing? I thought all women want is to be a housewife ni? OP, jare I think the best thing in this situation is for your wife to get a job or something doing, That would cure loneliness, She would have other things to think about and possibly stop crying, I bet she would become sexier to you when all these are in place |
| Re: marriage by damipaul(m): 9:48pm On Jul 07, 2011 |
sexkillz: listen to this |
| Re: marriage by danderson(f): 4:12am On Jul 08, 2011 |
Poster, my virgin wife with so much love and fear of twelve years and 4 kids calls me morethan 8 times a day at office,she still want to follow me to barbing salon and each time am close to her she wants to make love or hold me.Lot of funny things and suspicion. Handle her like ur her dad and sometimes when returning home 4rm office,call her to meet u half way for a meal or visit.still yet get ur angel pregnant atleast she may stop crying after birth then plan 4 her to be occupied. |
| Re: marriage by Nobody: 4:20am On Jul 08, 2011 |
the bible says if any one lacks wisdom let him ask the Father, my brother,your wife can be tamed by the word of God,thats the only source of wisdom |
| Re: marriage by blank(f): 9:53am On Jul 08, 2011 |
@ Dayo, u are confusing stay at home mum with housewife. SHe has no kid to keep her busy or to look after. That is why she is bored. Also, there is nothing wrong with having a business by the side. Just a thought. |
| Re: marriage by madoba: 10:11am On Jul 08, 2011 |
@ poster I think you should have a heart to heart talk with her and tell her, how she makes you feel. I also think if she had a job or something worthwhile to do things may not be this way. @ sexkillz Dude I think you were too harsh with the criticism because I can relate to how the poster feels to some extent. There is nothing as dreadful as ending a day's job only to go home to an environment that is not blissful or an environment that makes you unhappy, especially if you reside in Lagos, there's just too much stress living in this town. Our homes should be the one place we can retire to and relax without any negative drama. You get stressed at work by superiors and difficult colleagues, you get stressed by traffic trying to get home, you eventually get home and your spouse is putting up attitude that doesn't help your mental, emotional and physical well being in anyway. HABA it's just not fair His wife needs to do some serious adjustment, it's the little things like this that eventually add up and cause a relationship to disintergrate it's not necessarily the big things. |
| Re: marriage by DBestDoc(f): 10:27am On Jul 08, 2011 |
sexkillz: |
| Re: marriage by Nobody: 11:43am On Jul 08, 2011 |
I have to agree with sexkillz on this one. There is nothing the poster's posted up there that should warrant a divorce just like that. She provokes you, how? She cries alot, so do I, And my man is yet to open up a thread on that. She likes sugar? (infact this is the one that even made me call you silly). She's pushing you outside? How? I don't think you are even ready to be married and you had better not start looking outside b'cos na so una go see another babe begin compare her with wifey. All you have done is type(go) in circles. You yourself get serious problem. Until you post one tangible thing here, you still are a disgrace to men in my sight. |
| Re: marriage by Nobody: 11:51am On Jul 08, 2011 |
jennykadry: Hahahaha! You wicked woman!  |
| Re: marriage by ifyalways(f): 12:54pm On Jul 08, 2011 |
Some of you men won't cease to amuse me. You married a totally jobless 26 years old lady?In this day?no career,no business,just phock,make up,cry,phock more;why won't u get bored  At 26,ur woman is aiight with staying at home,phock,nollywood and listen to old wive's tales,why won't she cry?wasting away her youthful years. Mr man,wake up and make ur wife shine her eyes too.If na school make she enter,dust up her degree and look for work or open biz for her please. |
| Re: marriage by Nobody: 2:24pm On Jul 08, 2011 |
chidikus: you are retarded. |
| Re: marriage by Nobody: 2:35pm On Jul 08, 2011 |
madoba: I'm Standing Strong on what i said. . . I have some more Questions for him. . . And You! You talk about office stress, Did u not plan how u were gonna mix "office stress + Marriage Stress"? Why did you not remain a Bachelor so that when you come home there would be no one yapping you? His wife needs serious Adjustment you say, Who should do the Adjusting? Me, You? Just who? What has he done to help her? Yeah but when it comes to making love to her that's the only time he's happy, right? Seriously, i think this poster is selfish! He wasn't ready for marriage. He only got married because his mates were getting married or he was coerced into the marriage. Just 5 Months? Have u heard the word "Golden Jubilee" Before? Dude this thing wey you enter called marriage, e b like say u don forget say na better for worse o! Now where is this poster? Let him Come and defend himself! He still has a lot to Answer!!! |
| Re: marriage by dayokanu(m): 2:46pm On Jul 08, 2011 |
ifyalways: How can a woman write the above, Shebi we were told that women are supposed to sit at home wait for hubby to come back, phocl, cry, sleep, load dishwasher/washing machine, phock more sleep eat, Nollywood, sleep. NL na Ifyalways talk am ooo No be me, I can see that Ifyalways is a lazy man who wants "his" wife to share his financial burden jennykadry: Have you checked NL romance section or Nigeria Village Square?  No be for my mouth dem go hear say Obasanjo win Mr Universe |
| Re: marriage by madoba: 4:03pm On Jul 08, 2011 |
@ sexkillz I am not sure you fully comprehended my first post or you may have entirely misunderstood it. You seem to be going at the OP for reasons best known to you but have you given any thought to his wife's behaviour? Now to answer your questions 1.Who needs to adjust? His wife needs to adjust because as a formerly certified moody person (am talking about me) I know what damage that can cause to relationships of any kind whether with family, friends, spouses etc After a while people just don't want to be around you because you have nothing to offer in way of companionship except a long face, a difficult attitude and an unwillingness to communicate on a sincere level. Now that's what being moody is all about and it is one of the things OP has complained of. 2. What has he done to help her? According to him he has introduced her to their neighbour so she can ease her loneliness while his at work but please permit to say that problems relating to personality, attitudes, character can only be fixed by the individual with the problem. OP's wife cries often, is moody, provokes him (in ways he didn't mention) etc etc What I hear is a woman being unnecessarily difficult without good reason I mean common this marriage is 5 months old what reasons could she possibly have to put up the attitudes complained of? 3. The poster is not happy only when he is making love to his wife pls read that the post again. He said it provides temporary relief, but his experience so far is a painful one. Further more he said after wifey spoils his day she thinks sex can bring happiness and probably make up for her attitude. Screwing has never solved issues dialogue and communication has in my world. 4. On mixing office stress and marriage stress, I hear you but his wife attitude is not the sort of stress he should have to deal with at home when this union is only 5 months old. Matters on the home front that ought to be stressing him should be gas bills, nepa bills, feeding, visiting in-laws who need to be taken care etc since there is only one source of income. |
| Re: marriage by madoba: 4:25pm On Jul 08, 2011 |
@ sexkillz FYI I am female and the attitude (moodiness,childishness etc) the OP has complained of is the sort of attitude I exhibited in my late teens (17 - early 20s) when I began dating. As a woman I've come to understand the importance of making your home a warm and cozy place where your family can look forward to going to, not a place they would dread going to or just be plain weary of, either because 1. I am often moody, provoking others or 2. My home is just too messy and untidy. I still maintain that she needs to adjust by fixing her current attitude because I learnt the hard way what being moody can do to good realtionships. I don't think the poster is selfish either he just wants to retire home to a warm and pleasant environment, have a good time with his woman (not necessarily through lovemaking). Is that too much to ask for especially when a marriage is only 5 months old |
| Re: marriage by ronkebp(f): 4:47pm On Jul 08, 2011 |
^^^^^ Madoba, what you have said is true to an extent, and i support the fact that the woman has to change, but that change will candidly take awhile, their marriage is just 5months and the guy is already complaining, he seriously needs to grow up too and be 'a man' not everything has to be complained about, all those things he said are trivial to me. |
| Re: marriage by madoba: 5:07pm On Jul 08, 2011 |
ronkebp: @ ronkebp I hear you. But haba, at 26 years of age doesn't she understand the little things that can make or break a marriage. The poster is probably complaining because he had high hopes and reasonable expectations for his marriage. I do not agree with him on the issue of divorce because I feel the matter is a trivial one like you said but I can totally relate to how he feels because in the past I wasted precious time making the people around me miserable through my moody, unpleasant and difficult behaviour which is not so different from the poster's wife. That time could have been spent enjoying the presence and companionship of others, making the most of life through meaningful moments with others but hey what did I do? We can learn from other peoples experiences, which is why I've said a lot on this topic/thread. |
| Re: marriage by armyofone(m): 5:36pm On Jul 08, 2011 |
OP 5month and you are complaining already,  a real man is not defined by his 3 leg. the honeymoon is not over o. 5month ke? you should be loving and babying her common be a man! now go and shop for some nice wine and stay indoor with her this weekend. |
| Re: marriage by dayokanu(m): 5:40pm On Jul 08, 2011 |
^^ And what is a REAL WOMAN defined by? |
| Re: marriage by armyofone(m): 5:44pm On Jul 08, 2011 |
a good shotgun  bawo lo wa  |
| Re: marriage by dayokanu(m): 5:49pm On Jul 08, 2011 |
You dey run from me since, E no good oo I told you I want to join na |
| Re: marriage by Nobody: 5:51pm On Jul 08, 2011 |
Dayo speak more of English and drop your latin. When I got married I did not work for years. My hubby wouldn't hear of it not even summer jobs when school was on 3months break. The only work I did was going for my school prac in the hospital from 7am-4pm and ofcourse you don't get paid for it. I started working a few months after I finished school and went on full time despite the fact that he wanted me to do part time. I cut down my hours. He is presently trying to negotiate 2days per fortnight with me and I no gree. If this lady is in Nigeria where even people with firstclass are walking around the streets un employed and no job, then it will be difficult getting a job This man should stop whingeing and start her up on a business. This is why women should never marry poor men, they complain and nag over nothing. |
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