StilmaVsBorn2w:

No I won't

Seems you're too stubborn

StilmaVsBorn2w:
Back then when my mom was warning me not to go that far when our relationship started She kept on insisting I should go for the girls in my tribe, I thought she was just been a tribalist bigot. If only I had listened

She bore me a son, he's 3years now... though her people knows me well from normal visitation..but I haven't been able to pay her bride price yet due to the hardship this regime has on us. life happened, unfortunately she got sick since February, ever since then from one hospital to another..I took several loans from people for hospital bills to the point of me looking sick myself.so sad for us we lost her last night.

I informed her elder brother who knows about all thats happening, he called me back this morning to tell me that his people told me to be prepared to marry her corpse. He went further and said if I don't pay her bride price, my boy will be taken from me and I should be ready to withstand the consequences.
I was surprised, I called for the burial arrangements not for a marriage ceremony

I blantly told him, I won't, why would I get married to her corpse. He was angry and cut the call on me.

Am more concerned about my son, please lawyer's in the house do they have any right to take my son away from me?
Even if they do am ready to give it to them, but spending money to Marry her corpse I will not.

I only brought this here, if had chance for my son whose still in my custody.

Oga... education is not ot when you go to school to learn how to read and write English language. You lack the knowledge of the culture around you, and that's shameful enough. What the brithrr told you is the simple truth, and there is nothing any lawyer can do about it.

You have to also understand that this is not the time to be feeling woke, this is the things if the spirits and must be careful, or lose yourself in the process of fighting it. You are even lucky they have yiu an option to marry the girl, cos normally in some tribe, that so called son if yours will be taken away from you, and there nothing you can do about it.

Nothing. I will advise you, instead of challenging them, be very lenient with them or face a dire consequences. Again, this is the things of the spirits, seek wish counsel, probably an elder from your village or her village. Be careful, these things are delicate issues.

TyroneP:


The fact that she was sick was a public knowledge to the family. You should understand. These are issues I solve at work everyday. Everyone is spiritual in their own way and in their own cultural practices which gives room to relativism.
You don't relate civil wrong/matter with criminal matter. They're different things.

Whether her ailment is public knowledge or not, it doesn't negate culpability.

If you like solve these problems everyday, if he doesn't do what the family wants and goes to that village with his the corpse, he will be taught a lesson that his lawyers and law courts are useless and cannot protect him when push comes to shove.

StilmaVsBorn2w:

thank you
you see for you to know how this is painful to me, you understand am going through all the comments on this thread and they are some i just ignore, and they are some that striked me hard.. I just respond to.
because alot of people here don't know my pains.

I borrowed money since February left uncleared amounting to thousand of naira and they are telling me to come and marry her corpse, it's not like 10k or 20k it's like a marriage ceremony.
this people don't understand my plight.

anyway you can choose to help me if you so wish.
thanks

OP you need to come down from your high horse. You are really in a tight and delicate situation, which you need to handle with caution, you can't handle this on your own, worst part is that the lady was with you, so to say, when she passed, and you just can't dump and leave her body at the morgue, for her family to come and Carry "it" (sic). Get the two families to meet, it is imperative. The only thing that has no solution is death, both families can meet at point of acceptance, negotiate. It is tough, but that's life.

Cpossibility:
Which tribe is that?

Yes, go ahead and marry her corpse, it's custom and tradition. We do it in my place.
Thank you

StilmaVsBorn2w:

I informed them for the burial arrangements not for marriage ceremony

Put yourself in their shoe. You literally kidnapped their daughter, because you did not have their consent. Now she's dead, you want to give them a dead body. I am not a lawyer but legally, I think the law will work against you. Not sure though.
If I were you, I will do their bidding and save myself from the looming trouble that lies ahead. You can also negotiate with them. Let them know you are indebted at the moment and they should give you some time to put things in order, not all these stubborness.

StilmaVsBorn2w:
Back then when my mom was warning me not to go that far when our relationship started She kept on insisting I should go for the girls in my tribe, I thought she was just been a tribalist bigot. If only I had listened

She bore me a son, he's 3years now... though her people knows me well from normal visitation..but I haven't been able to pay her bride price yet due to the hardship this regime has on us. life happened, unfortunately she got sick since February, ever since then from one hospital to another..I took several loans from people for hospital bills to the point of me looking sick myself.so sad for us we lost her last night.

I informed her elder brother who knows about all thats happening, he called me back this morning to tell me that his people told me to be prepared to marry her corpse. He went further and said if I don't pay her bride price, my boy will be taken from me and I should be ready to withstand the consequences.
I was surprised, I called for the burial arrangements not for a marriage ceremony

I blantly told him, I won't, why would I get married to her corpse. He was angry and cut the call on me.

Am more concerned about my son, please lawyer's in the house do they have any right to take my son away from me?
Even if they do am ready to give it to them, but spending money to Marry her corpse I will not.

I only brought this here, if had chance for my son whose still in my custody.

You must be a very young man.

What her brother told you, is actually the right thing to do.
She has a child for you, and you never had money to marry her but suddenly you will have money to bury her.

Do the right thing if you truly love your wife.

StilmaVsBorn2w:

I don't believe in curses, A man can not define my fate in life..I was more concerned about my son that's why I brought it here.
I fear no man

Oga stop this. You killed their daughter. That is the clear picture if you don't get it.

"I am more CONCERNED about my son", says the op.

Throughout your writing op, you sound rigid and authoritative.
You called her brother to arrange for her burial and afterwards, you can take your son.

Assuming the said lady is your sister, and a man whom she had a son with eventually turned out to act as you are doing, what would have been your reaction?

StilmaVsBorn2w:

Why would I carry it to the village..?
It's already in the morgue, for her people arrival, it's their daughter.
Have done my most vital parts borrowing money to save her now am in debts, if you want me to marry her corpse because am scared. My brother your wrong.

It's their daughter àbí? May her Soul Rest in Peace

Guy based on Nigerian constitution the child is legally URS since u acknowledged and has been taken care of the child, no one can take the child from u as the Nigerian constitution supercedes every other law in Nigeria. However, out of respect for your later baby mama and her family, this is not the reason to start a fight, call ur brother in-law and have a discussion with you let him see how financially down u are right now and see how u can reduce everything that needs to be paid for the burial and then fix a date The child still has a root there

It is time for restitution not stubbornness. Advise your son never to keep a lady he is not married to. Never!!! If you ever loved her and your son, negotiation is the watch word.

Negotiate your way out of this quagmire. They are àsking for their daughter to be buried as your wife, which I think she deserves.

Listen, I was in the same boat as u were, but my personal conviction was never to stay under the same roof with a lady I was not married to. I had to do what I had to do in a very low key to get the marriage off my mind. I feel you could have gone extra mile to be at least traditionally married to her.

Lots of people will advise you, but the final decision rests with u. Make peace with them by negotiation.

StilmaVsBorn2w:


I informed them for the burial arrangements not for marriage ceremony

Men without knowledge meet with destruction. You will never bury that woman without marrying her, mark my word.
You are endangering your child and your own life and no church or pastor can save you from what is coming after. You better wake up to reality and quickly pay her dowry now before your family weep for you

StilmaVsBorn2w:

No I won't

Oga...we all know your wife is Igbo, but not every Igbo tribe practice that culture. Don't be stubborn, it is a good thing that you admitted your mistakes by disregarding your mother's advice, you are about to make yet another mistake, and I warn you sir, you don't want do this trust me.

This is a war you can NEVER win, quote me on this. No pastor, or lawyer can save you from what's coming. It is not a threat, it's an advise, cos I have seen this thing happen before.

You will pray for death, but death won't come. There is absolutely nothing wrong with what they asked of you. I hope you listen, bye.

Oga they are right....marry her corpse! She won't be buried without u marry her at death ..it's a taboo

StilmaVsBorn2w:

Why would I carry it to the village..?
It's already in the morgue, for her people arrival, it's their daughter.
Have done my most vital parts borrowing money to save her now am in debts, if you want me to marry her corpse because am scared. My brother your wrong.

imagine your comments on someone’s daughter that you illegally converted to your sex slave over the years. Now it’s their daughter, and you’ve kept her in the morgue for them. Smh! Now it’s about your son who you already made it clear you only care about now cos the lady is dead. Chairman forget long talk, las las you go pay that bride price walahi, just that we won’t know when you do.

Meanwhile you talked about dumping her in the morgue for her family rt? Bros be prepared to pay morgue bills. As in, you go pay tire. You can trust her tribe on that. You think you are smart instead on being diplomatic here.

This matter shock me

StilmaVsBorn2w:

Sorry it's not necessary, I won't let you lots to turn this to a tribal war.

Go to your family for advice then.

DryMouth:

What nonsense are you pple typing?
So you are telling him to go marry a corpse?

Omo! Omo!! Omo!!!

That is normal tradition nothing there just buy traditional drink and pay her bride price that cost less than 5k he is not doing full marriage and he will not kiss the corpse otherwise he can not bury her , if he insist and bury her on his own there is consequences aftward. You people are making like look like a big deal forgetting we are not white people .

Felimax:


If Dem born you well carry the corpse go the village. You come here come find people mouth abi?

Leave that guy. I read some of his comments, em no get sense. Too bad I commented before I started reading all those mumu comments he makes.

He thinks he is more educated than his ancestors. I pity this one aswear. His fall will be ridiculous, and I can't wait to laugh to it. He dey even dey find lawyer ...lol chai... Western education has really delt with black man. I wish him luck though

michresakidjo:

Where in Ondo exactly. Coz I live there.

I don't know the exact community, but I know it's ondo state

After reading comments here, all I can say is Africans are wicked sha! No wonder jungle justice is still practiced here.

Some of our traditions are devilish too and education has done very little to change our way of thinking.

I see my tribe being mentioned as one of the ethnic group that practice this barbaric act and I feel so ashamed that our name can surface in this type of ugly report.

OP. The only thing I can say is, cooperate with the family. So that this matter can be settled amicably.

And for those bashing the OP... To the best of my knowledge, majority of guys cohabit with their GFs before they finally settle down. Some even make babies sef.

In short, way back in school, I know plenty of guys that were living with their girlfriends in their apartments off-campus. I'm in no way justifying this ugly trend. But the way everyone is sounding here, I begin to wonder if these same people are aware that this can happen to anyone.


Most of us have lived in this glass house, some are still in it, yet everyone is throwing stones as if this can't happen to anyone.

od501:


Oga...we all know your wife is Igbo, but not every Igbo tribe practice that culture. Don't be stubborn, it is a good thing that you admitted your mistakes by disregarding your mother's advice, you are about to make yet another mistake, and I warn you sir, you don't want do this trust me.

This is a war you can NEVER win, quote me on this. No pastor, or lawyer can save you from what's coming. It is not a threat, it's an advise, cos I have seen this thing happen before.

You will pray for death, but death won't come. There is absolutely nothing wrong with what they asked of you. I hope you listen, bye.

Op, pls do not ignore this. I am co-advising.

StilmaVsBorn2w:

Your just been rude and arrogant, I guess your still a teenager.
No More response to you

You are the kid sir, that dude told you nothing but the truth. 8 don't know your level of education, but this is worth you ought to know in primary or secondary school.

Really be careful, things you don't know are beyond you.

StilmaVsBorn2w:

I don't believe in curses, A man can not define my fate in life..I was more concerned about my son that's why I brought it here.
I fear no man

I love your stance and admire fearless and courageous people. Stand your ground. You're not the first man to keep a woman in the house before marriage. It's we women that ought to be wise. Giving a man free, endless sex before marriage is gross stupidity.

Don't pay that bride price. She's gone she's gone. You owe her family nothing. Save for burial ceremony. Paying bride price on the head of a dead person is barbaric and downright sentimental.

A lesson for all: stop marrying outside your tribe. As a yoruba girl, I'd rather die than marry from that tribe called igbo. God forbids. Marrying into a tradition and culture you do not understand or know nothing about.

And lastly, don't be intimidated by the comments on here. Majority of NLers are igbos. Meaning that majority of the advise you get won't be objective. Don't be intimidated. There's no forum you go to, you'll find that 70% of its users are igbos. They sure know how to dominate physical and online spaces.

oluwaseyi0:
k

What makes a child belong to a man or a woman? So you mean Davido baby Mama's children are bastard they didn't belong to davido

Davido can claim other child he had with other baby mama but the one he had with chiome is not his untill he pay her bride price that's igbo tradition come rain come Sun. Time will tell and sure they must have told him

Timekeeper452:
enjoy the ban.

What fucking ban..piss off idiot

StilmaVsBorn2w:

You here for the tribe only?
Or to give me reasonable advise?

oga,tribe / Religion/ address of your wife home two and your in law phone number LESS you are lie Muhammad and needed traffic on Saturday.

HRprof:

Davido can claim other child he had with other baby mama but the one he had with chiome is not his untill he pay her bride price that's igbo tradition come rain come Sun. Time will tell and sure they must have told him

Which means if Davido like he can decide to be a deadbeat father to chioma as he's not responsible for the consequences of sleeping with chioma without protection,Chioma will have to go and meet her father to take care of Davido responsibility

This to me is actually a good thing, even though I'm still confused about igbo baby mama calling their baby daddy out when traditionally a baby daddy own his child and the mother any responsibility, how they live and survive is not his responsibility

od501:


You are the kid sir, that dude told you nothing but the truth. 8 don't know your level of education, but this is worth you ought to know in primary or secondary school.

Really be careful, things you don't know are beyond you.

Shun the op, damage control things but it aint gonna work..be stubborn u hear,when u de bang person daughter,ur sense no reach ,u see why sometimes,when u see the way some accidents happen on the road,u begin to imagine,just dont drag innocent people with u biko

nighter:


I love your stance and admire fearless and courageous people. Stand your ground. You're not the first man to keep a woman in the house before marriage. It's we women that ought to be wise. Giving a man free, endless sex before marriage is gross stupidity.

Don't pay that bride price. She's gone she's gone. You owe her family nothing. Save for burial ceremony.

A lesson for all: stop marrying outside your tribe. I'd rather die than marry from that tribe called igbo. God forbids.

So, let him forget about the child too.

Our side, the child is not his because he didn't pay her bride price.
And there is nothing he can do come rain come shine. The child belongs to the woman family.

Advice him to do the needful because he will also loose his son to them.

He won't be the first or the last to do this.

STURBON is in your blood,you either IPOB or CALABAR person.