AT LAST, YOU CAN NOW BE FREE.

“You’re such an ugly duckling, I never liked you,” Julius yelled at Juliet, his stepsister angrily, and walked back to his room. After a while, he felt guilty about the actions and kept blaming himself for saying such hurtful words to his sister. Julius is confused and doesn’t know what to do to stop feeling guilty.

Should he own up to his actions and apologise or should he feed his pride and not apologise cause it was her fault for making him angry?

Well, you would get to know the right answer if you keep reading.

First let's define what guilt is.

WHAT IS GUILT?

"Guilt is rooted in actions of the past, perpetuated in the lack of action in present, and delivered in the future as pain and suffering". David Roppo

Guilt is a powerful emotion. It is nothing more than keeping you in the past. It’s unbearable, you just can’t stop feeling unhappy. You try to push it out but it won’t leave, it just keeps eating you up. Guilt can set in when you hurt someone, fail, lost a loved one, etc.

There is nothing wrong with feeling guilty. It’s ok to recognize what you’ve done is wrong. There’s nothing wrong with evaluating yourself. Guilt helps us acknowledge our actions and pushes us to improve on our behaviours. Guilt is a tool used to identify a problem.

If you’ve never felt able to own up to your actions, your guilt might increase to the extent you won’t be able to bear it.

HOW TO SET YOURSELF FREE FROM GUILT.

1. OWN UP TO YOUR ACTIONS

Take responsibility because you did or said something hurtful. Once you own up to your actions, you will see how your behaviour affected someone you love and care about.

What you need to do is to say to that person, “I’m human. I did something wrong. I said something I shouldn’t have or did something I shouldn’t have and I take full responsibility for my action. I’m so sorry”. Apologise and let go of that guilt.

The reason people get stuck in guilt it’s because they don’t own up to their actions. For example, If someone cheats on someone else and instead of acknowledging they are wrong, they blame the other person for their actions.

2. FORGIVE YOURSELF

Learn how to forgive yourself for the mistakes you make because your human and humans are fallible. We make mistakes frequently. When you make a mistake, you don’t have to spend your life repenting of it. Have compassion for yourself (Self-compassion) which entails being warm and understanding towards ourselves when we make mistakes. Forgiveness is powerful and is needed to overcome guilt.

3. START SOMETHING NEW

You can start doing something new that is exciting so that you can stop focusing on the feeling of guilt. You could try learning a new skill, writing a book, going out to network, working toward achieving your goals, etc. Just do something that isn’t boring.

4. DON’T BE HARD ON YOURSELF

Don’t give yourself the trouble of dwelling on the feeling of guilt. You shouldn’t hate or blame yourself for what has happened. This could be detrimental to your physical and mental health. Surround yourself with those who love you, and seek their perspective. They will probably not say bad things about you. They will shower you with the love and care you need.

5. LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES

One thing you should learn how to do is to find lessons from your mistakes. You should not dwell in the past saying, ‘I shouldn’t have said this, I should have done this. " This is not a healthy thing to do. Instead, learn from your mistakes and never let them happen again.

Self-guilt is like placing a dog in a cage. It could go nowhere, only if you set it free. Don’t put yourself in that guilt cage. Take the steps to be free. The feelings of guilt could speedily drive you into depression, which might lead to suicide.

Set yourself free because you have the keys to your freedom.

Don’t forget to share with anyone that you feel needs it. You could be a lifesaver.

I would appreciate a comment.

Let go of that guilt!