bakar007:
1. Try to get a child believe me you d regret it in future if you don't. When you get much older when most of these things we find fun in no longer matters and you begin to look back at life, your choices ,your attainment , your children will be your legacy and the positive you see irrespective of how your life is then.
It okay to try to work on yourself , having a child doesn't in anyway stop you from doing that. Hope you find the answers you re looking for.

So, she should basically have a child she can afflict with her burdens and in her old age?

When I tell people that African parents don't understand what it means to love their children, folks think I am simply speaking for the sake of it.

JideMakinwa:
Interesting. You are not depressed. You are just facing reality. Welcome to the club. I'll like to meet with you.

Mental illness is a good enough reason to choose against adding additional burdens- marriage, children etc., - to one's existence.

You don't have good partner. If a lady decided to be with a man or to date a man, probability of getting married is high.

A lady only have this your ideology triggered by a disappointment, gilt from a past relationship or a fear of being dominant or a toxic affair I go on and on of the reason you detest from getting married.

For all the reason, if by any chance in your life, you welcome men for relationship, you could meet, that good man that will respect you for that, now I see why some ladies opt for a married men, just to have their space more.

You need to close your heart on positive vibes. Reading negative stuff online, especially a stories that makes front page against ladies this days, could give some weak ladies mental imbalance against marriage. Whereas, is a beautiful thing , when you meet that reasonable man, you both think alike. And God bless you with money.

Kindly take good care of yourself and I wish you goodluck and all the best.

Marriage is not mandatory.
I think you should consider adopting though. It is not good, even for mental health, for a person to be totally alone, especially at old age.

I like your kind of person though...pragmatic and decisive. I wish you well.

Kobojunkie:
So, she should basically have a child she can afflict with her burdens and in her old age?

When I tell people that African parents don't understand what it means to love their children, folks think I am simply speaking for the sake of it.

There's no single Human without problems or "burden" , or is everything perfect with Ur parents Is there something called perfection is upbringing? All the affections in the world doesn't guarantee happiness or a bright future for a child , we should be clear on that .

Making the quote " African parents" lol , depends on what love is to you I love my parents , I see their love through their dedication to my wellness and investment in my life not because of a "perfect childhood" experience .

Marriage is a predisposing factor to mental illness itself..

You have taken the best decision!!!
You can adopt 2 children of 3-5yrs old legally anytime you desires and ready.

Legalese:
Marriage is not mandatory.
I think you should consider adopting though. It is not good, even for mental health, for a person to be totally alone, especially at old age.

I like your kind of person though...pragmatic and decisive. I wish you well.

So when a person is alone, the next best thing to prescribe is Children? Do you folks have a beating heart at all?

.

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids, I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.
I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.
I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.
I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.
If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.
But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.
Please advise

I can understand the no-marriage.. But why no-children? did you share this with your immediate family (parents et al) ?

bakar007:
1. There's no single Human without problems or "burden" , or is everything perfect with Ur parents Is there something called perfection is upbringing? All the affections in the world doesn't guarantee happiness or a bright future for a child , we should be clear on that .

2. Making the quote " African parents" lol , depends on what love is to you I love my parents , I see their love through their dedication to my wellness and investment in my life not because of a "perfect childhood" experience .

1. So, because everyone has a problem is reason why it is OK then to conflict hurt and pain on children, even when we know it isn't the right thing to do?

2. My upbringing wasn't perfect however I learnt from the experience so that I can be a better person than my parents and their parents before them.

If you think life is simply about repeating even the mistakes of the past, then I dare say, your existence may be a part of the problem that is this world..

2. If that is what you think love is.... then you sure make my point which again is that Africans don't know how to love their children.

jackcanfield:
Sometimes Kids come on their own volution, so stop deceiving yourself, in fact this days kids ping their parents from the heavenly place they are residing to notify them that they are coming or would be coming soon ... So what will be will be ...continue your companionship for sex you hear.

Is that a mumu way of relinquishing sexual responsibility or something?,

Sometimes Kids come on their own volution, so stop deceiving yourself, in fact this days kids ping their parents from the heavenly place they are residing to notify them that they want to come or would be coming soon ... So what will be will be ...continue your companionship for sex you hear.... instead of you to seek advice on how to cure your mental challenge you are seeking advice on how to stop a future somebody from coming to the world. My advice is for you to have planned parenthood, don't bring a child to this world to suffer but to enjoy the Lord's goodness, if you can freeze your egg freeze it. Remember Companionship is a partnership , so you have a help mate.

Kobojunkie:
Is that a mumu way of relinquishing sexual responsibility or something?,

sorry I haven't finished my write up when you commented.

Kobojunkie:
You dey read at all?

Would you believe your if shes pregnant buh u used condom on her? Answer?

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids, I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.
I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.
I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.
I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.
If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.
But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.
Please advise

You aren't married yet, you àrè certaín you won't be happy. I believe íts the way you have conditioned your mind to think that is affecting your mental health. You can óvercome this challenge and phase íf only you condition your mind to think positively. It's well with you

Well your life your choices

Funkyswagzz:
Would you believe your if shes pregnant buh u used condom on her? Answer?

Op says she does not want to children at all.

To each, his own.

Money must be made regardless.

Olufemiolaolu:
You aren't married yet, you àrè certaín you won't be happy. I believe íts the way you have conditioned your mind to think that is affecting your mental health. You can óvercome this challenge and phase íf only you condition your mind to think positively. It's well with you

Mental illness has to do with a conditioning of the mind? Are you folks for real?

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids, I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.
I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.
I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.
I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.
If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.
But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.
Please advise

Share your picture so that we can assess whether whether it is because of your ugliness. Your status as to beautiful or ugly can help us to advise you.

To me the fact about this that you don't want to tell us is simple.
Going with the way you are sounding, you must be a career woman. Career women never love marriage because they hate being ordered around. As a human and a guy, have also said several times that I'm going into contract marriage to have my kids. But thinking about it again, what do you think will be the outcome when you are growing old.
My advice is, don't live a life that you will end up regretting someday. Thanks.

Have you tried to imagine life at 50 without money, partner, or children?


I think you should rethink your plans. The type of mental health condition that will prevent you from raising a family can as well prevent you from making money or being productive at work.

Kobojunkie:
Op says she does not want to children at all.

When u believe what a woman says den u will hav a very big problem.. its not good for u bro

I don't believe ds Shitty story, I believe you have ds opinion b'cos you never jam love. If you keep bf for companionship and sex why not kuku marry and have children.
I know for sure the natural mother-child love will even improve your mental health

Don't over think things, just live life and focus on yourself and mental health,people that don't have kids still thrive, you can travel the world, pick a hobby, date as much as you want or do something to fill your time.
I do want to get married but i don't want kids, I've been with guys that feel exactly the same way. Life will go on, we will be fine.

Precious2God:
I don't believe ds Shitty story, I believe you have ds opinion b'cos you never jam love. If you keep bf for companionship and sex why not kuku marry and have children.
I know for sure the natural mother-child love will even improve your mental health

The natural what?

So the cases of mothers out there who eventually committed suicide due for stress - mental illness related issues- you conveniently feign ignorance of, abi?

As for your claim that companionship and sex should leave to having kids. Should we also ignore the wonderful stories of marriage couples who had no kids of their own.

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids, I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.
I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.
I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.
I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.
If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.
But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.
Please advise

It's not a public talk reach out let us talk. I will be waiting

Kobojunkie:
1. So, because everyone has a problem is reason why it is OK then to conflict hurt and pain on children, even when we know it isn't the right thing to do?

2. My upbringing wasn't perfect however I learnt from the experience so that I can be a better person than my parents and their parents before them.

If you think life is simply about repeating even the mistakes of the past, then I dare say, your existence may be a part of the problem that is this world..

2. If that is what you think love is.... then you sure make my point which again is that Africans don't know how to love their children.

What is love according to you ?

No one is saying give birth to a child to inflict hurt on them , clearly was never specific what issues she dealing with ? Will having a child stop her from working on herself? If it doesn't why not?

Every parents wants the best for their children but the world isn't perfect either , we do our best while facing the challenges of life.

Life is a circle whether you like or not there will always be problems and challenges beyond our control. So making choices base on our emotions is never the best choice .

I always tell people never be selfish with your decisions as the "future you" will be hoping you don't make wrong choices that she be regretting tomorrow while living the reality of the choice you made base on emotions or circumstances of today.

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids, I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.
I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.
I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.
I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.
If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.
But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.
Please advise

Just be a second wife to any man that is willing.

Poswahala:
Guys I genuinely need some advice
Because of the state of my mental health I have decided never to get married or have kids, I suffer from intense depression and anxiety and other mental health problems. I'm unsure of my own future talk more of a child.
I do love being in relationships but I do that only for companionship and sex.
I don't know if I will regret my decision. The guys I have dated have been cool with my no marriage proposal but I don't think any Nigerian man will not want kids.
I'm thinking of moving to another country, buy a house, take care of my community and neighbors then when I'm old, I will move to a retirement home.
If I change my mind I can adopt a child, am not against adoption as I am with marriage, it depends on if my mental health improves

The problem I have is that will I be lonely without a child, like I said I'm not into marriage despite being a woman trained in traditional home, it's not that I hate it or anything, it's not just for me. I will be unhappy being married.
But the child thing is bothering me, I always wanted a child, but i don't want my mental health to prevent me from loving and caring for the child.
Please advise

You own your life and entitled to whatever makes you happy.

You don’t need any advice. Do what makes you happy