Harmony22:
I gave Birth to new baby boy today and yes it’s a thing of joy for whoever is fortunate to produce an offspring and I’m happy for that. But here I am waking up in the middle of the night reminiscing about my life, thinking at 35 you are just giving birth to a baby when most of your colleagues whom you graduated together now has at least 3 kids whose first born is about 9 years old.

Rubbiish:

I really don't understand the bold?
What kind of ungrateful post is this??
@ 35 as a man, u want your first child to be 9 years old? I initially thought u were a lady, how many men do u see getting married at 25?? The benchmark for the average Nigeria man to get married is 30 to 40 yrs & u are just 35, so why are u lamenting? My brother is 35 this year & still very much single, so what is really your problem? Honestly your growing up has really done alot to your esteem that u now find it enjoyable blaming yourself for no reason. U really do need help!

Harmony22:
I gave Birth to new baby boy today and yes it’s a thing of joy for whoever is fortunate to produce an offspring and I’m happy for that. But here I am waking up in the middle of the night reminiscing about my life, thinking at 35 you are just giving birth to a baby when most of your colleagues whom you graduated together now has at least 3 kids whose first born is about 9 years old. The thought of this sometimes do steal the joy of the moment from me I feel I started too late and the most annoying thing is I don’t have any justifiable reasons why I started late other than I didn’t get married sooner and not just because I couldn’t have afforded the means of getting married sooner as I have been at least comfortable to do so for the past 8 years.
I’m as much as it could sound that I’m being ungrateful because there are some people whose life is far worse, I just don’t think through that perspective to console myself rather I feel sorry for myself that my life sucks, probably because I have no reason to have stay this long as a young man living alone and doing good for himself for the past 9 years. Though it’s mostly believed that God time is the best sometimes but I am a student of school of thought who shared that sentiment but mostly find it difficult to subscribed to it possible because I always feel our life is shaped by our actions, inactions and the choice of decision we do take. I will be very blunt here with these few point about my personality as a person. I’m not bad looking guy but I must say I’m blessed with few things that aids the attention of ladies and had enough to sustain a family life
Here are some fact about the situation of my life journey as regard to getting married
I have always been lucky to have some friends who always encourage me to settle down early just like them even to the extent of introducing girls to me of which I normally disappointed them by showing no interest or probably feel ridicule to have chosen for me
Secondly I must say at a point in my life I have this low self esteem and lack confidence in myself as a boy who grew in a family settings where intimidation and fear is one of the tool my father command respect.
Over the time I tried to over grow that low self esteem as I choose to drinking alcohol and it helps to some extent to boost my confidence but still couldn’t have gotten me get married sooner.
At a point in my life I was so desperate to get married that it started to affect me emotionally and psychologically that making money was even getting difficult for me so I had to let go of that desperation by acting like I don’t care anymore in order to get back my state of mind so as to be able to pay bills and live fine again.
Along the line again family pressure starts to creep in to the extent that they do feel sorry for me like something is wrong with me spiritually that needs urgent attention of spiritual cleansing.
Despite all odds I met a lady who I dated for a while and now given birth, but this thought of I was too late and even my friends who I was even better than few years ago who settle than early have at least 2 kids are even living fine Even better despite all the bills, school fees and the likes.
Pardon my gibberish I’m only just trying to express my thought in a rational and irrational way to let go of this mindset of mine that do affects me emotionally and psychologically whenever it cross my thoughts.
Opinions and bashing is highly welcome I am not seeking for self pity I am a student of school of hard knocks that call a spade a spade.