I have been an active member on this forum for the past eight years. I just created this account to bring this issue to limelight. Good evening gentlemen and ladies. I got married in late 2020. God being merciful, we are blessed with a baby of 5 months. My wife has been giving me attitudes of recent. I have tried to find out what the problem has been, she is not saying anything tangible. I am being confused and depressed. I have been begging her to come back to join me after delivery. She keeps traumazing me emotionally. She just told me our marriage is over. She couldn't say what the problem is.

She has not been taking care of the baby. She was medically advised to stop breastfeeding our baby permanently. Is not that she breastfeeds our baby. My mother in-law and sisters in-law have been complaining about her lack of motherly treats.

They told me she doesn't even know how to take care of the baby. They cannot allow my child to be in her custody because she can't take care of the baby as a mother. She has fought her mother for asking her to leave her house to join her husband. Every member of her family has been asking her what the problem is. She keeps telling them to come and marry me that it's over between us.

I haven't told any of my family members or my friends of what is going on in my marriage. I am a kind of person that do not like involving a third party in my new marriage of lest than two years.

Her family has never supported her actions. Her mom and her siblings have been asking me to come take my wife and baby. But, my wife is not ready to join me. It has been a serious issues in her family house each time they push her to go meet her husband.

Her family has ask me to come with some soldiers or the police to come carry my baby and leave her since she claims she is no longer interested in any marriage. I have been trying my best to make sure my wife never lacked anything during her pregnancy and even after delivery.

My in-laws have been very supportive and good to me. I know they have never and will not support her for her wrong actions and behaviors. My challenge is, my baby is just 5 months and I don't want to take the baby to my parents because of the questions people around will be asking. I don't want to be seen as someone who is separated from his wife. I hate divorce with passion. My wife does not have any concrete reason why she decides to stay off our marriage.

Her family is fully in support of my next actions of going to take my baby. Now, the question is this; is it advisable to keep the baby with me while I employ a nanny to raise the baby with me?

Please and please I need mature and sensible advise.

Cc: RoyalRoy

I want this thread to be moved to the right and appropriate section. Thank you!

how old is she?

[quote author=after4 post=113179000]how old is she?

She clocked 32 last month.

Why not allow her to be raising the baby for now and you provide what the baby needs?

she is in love with someone else!
no kill yourself over her


[quote author=InsideLife2022 post=113179023][/quote]

Being that she just gave birth, it could be postpartum depression. Have you really sat down to discuss what her problem is? She must have given you reasons at least, even what you call none tangible, you can start from there. Try and convince her to attend marriage counselling or talk to her respected religious leader if she has one. If she doesn't agree to all these, there's really no point in forcing her to stay with you. Even the attitudes she would give you might make you regret forcing her back. As for the baby, choose based on the best environment for the child. Would you really have the time to be attentive to that delicate child, is the child still being breast fed. There are many things to consider in childcare. It's not as easy as it seems, even with the presence of a nanny.

InsideLife2022:
1. I have been an active member on this forum for the past eight years. I just created this account to bring this issue to limelight. Good evening gently men and ladies. I got married in late 2020. God being merciful, we are blessed with a baby of 5 months. My wife has been giving me attitudes of recent. I have tried to find out what the problem has been, she is not saying anything tangible. I am being confused and depressed.
....
My in-laws have been very supportive and good to me. I know they have never and will not support her for her wrong actions and behaviors. My challenge is, my baby is just 5 months and I don't want to take the baby to my parents because of the questions people around will be asking. I don't want to be seen as someone who is separated from his wife. I hate divorce with passion. My wife does not have any concrete reason why she decides to stay off our marriage.

2. Her family is fully in support of my next actions of going to take my baby. Now, the question is this; is it advisable to keep the baby with me while I employ a nanny to raise the baby with me?

1. Since you aren't able to tangibly communicate your wife's qualms to us, my guess is there exists a big communication barrier between you two... someone hasn't been listening to the other, or taking seriously what the other has been saying, and my guess is you are it in this particular situation.

2. You say her family supports your taking the baby but do you have your wife's permission to have the child or are you under the delusion that it is her family to decide who keeps the child?

3. Try to engage the aid of a professional marriage counselor if you are serious about wanting to keep your marriage. It might work best if you both get an unfamiliar face between you to help mediate and at least help you understand the core issue between you two.

If there are underlying medical issues, then you ought to be by her side in it. If not, then maybe you can discuss that too when you both seek help from your marriage counselor.

[quote author=GboyegaD post=113179038]Why not allow her to be raising the baby for now and you provide what the baby needs?

I have been doing that. She is not the one taking care of the baby from birth. But she is with her parents. And the burden of taking care of the child is overwhelming on her mom. It has deprived her mom from attending to her businesses.

[quote author=blaquebelle post=113179059]Being that she just gave birth, it could be postpartum depression. Have you really sat down to discuss what her problem is? She must have given you reasons at least, even what you call none tangible, you can start from there. Try and convince her to attend marriage counselling or talk to her respected religious leader if she has one. If she doesn't agree to all these, there's really no point in forcing her to stay with you. Even the attitudes she would give you might make you regret forcing her back. As for the baby, choose based on the best environment for the child. Would you really have the time to be attentive to that delicate child, is the child still being breast fed. There are many things to consider in childcare. It's not as easy as it seems, even with the presence of a nanny.

She stop breastfeeding the baby over a month now for medical reasons.

InsideLife2022:
I have been doing that. She is not the one taking care of the baby from birth. But she is with her parents. And the burden of taking care of the child is overwhelming on her mom. It has deprived her mom from attending to her businesses.

Why is the mother doing that when it is the daughter's baby though? Does she know something that she isn't communicating to you about your wife?

And how old is this daughter anyways?

Hmmm! Tori plenty.

Experts in the building, ur opinions and advice are highly needed.

Your wife needs serious medical attention.

This could be postpartum stress disorder or some more serious mental condition.

Some animals do go through this stress too when they give birth and fail to exhibit that natural maternal instinct to begin to care for their babies.

Instead of trying to force her back to you and pretend all is well in your marriage or to avoid "what will people say or think", I'd advise you to seek her professional help and darn what people would say or think.

You'd be playing with fire living under the same roof with a woman yet to be diagnosed of what she has mentally, and you just might end up as collateral damage in the process when she decides to butcher you and the pikin take play but God forbid.

She's dealing with underlying mental issues.

What is the health issues that made her to stop breastfeeding?

your wife must be suffering from postpartum depression...

Forcefully taking the new born so as to see ii will make her return to your house is not the best way I think. Something deeper is going on with her....u guys should be patient and try to help her pls...

I have often heard that it's common for new mothers to go through some levels of depression. That may just be what she's going through - she may not mean what she says to you. No mother will feel comfortable with someone else taking care of her child.

On the other hand, she may be the spoilt type that misses living freely with her parents and siblings. Or just one used to hanging out with her friends - marriage takes all that away from her and she may miss that lifestyle after marriage and having a child. Also, no one knows if domestic violence was a reason behind her decision - we only heard one part of the story

Rather than getting a maid that you may not trust to take care of your child, I'd recommend to see if a family member can help with that pending when your wife gets to realize the consequences of her actions and return to her duties as a mother and wife.

Both of you can still work it out. She may just need some space for now. Give it to her, she will get back to her senses soon and return home when she starts missing her child and her husband.

Good luck bro.

InsideLife2022:
I have been an active member on this forum for the past eight years. I just created this account to bring this issue to limelight. Good evening gentlemen and ladies. I got married in late 2020. God being merciful, we are blessed with a baby of 5 months. My wife has been giving me attitudes of recent. I have tried to find out what the problem has been, she is not saying anything tangible. I am being confused and depressed. I have been begging her to come back to join me after delivery. She keeps traumazing me emotionally. She just told me our marriage is over. She couldn't say what the problem is.

She has not been taking care of the baby. She was medically advised to stop breastfeeding our baby permanently. Is not that she breastfeeds our baby. My mother in-law and sisters in-law have been complaining about her lack of motherly treats.

They told me she doesn't even know how to take care of the baby. They cannot allow my child to be in her custody because she can't take care of the baby as a mother. She has fought her mother for asking her to leave her house to join her husband. Every member of her family has been asking her what the problem is. She keeps telling them to come and marry me that it's over between us.

I haven't told any of my family members or my friends of what is going on in my marriage. I am a kind of person that do not like involving a third party in my new marriage of lest than two years.

Her family has never supported her actions. Her mom and her siblings have been asking me to come take my wife and baby. But, my wife is not ready to join me. It has been a serious issues in her family house each time they push her to go meet her husband.

Her family has ask me to come with some soldiers or the police to come carry my baby and leave her since she claims she is no longer interested in any marriage. I have been trying my best to make sure my wife never lacked anything during her pregnancy and even after delivery.

My in-laws have been very supportive and good to me. I know they have never and will not support her for her wrong actions and behaviors. My challenge is, my baby is just 5 months and I don't want to take the baby to my parents because of the questions people around will be asking. I don't want to be seen as someone who is separated from his wife. I hate divorce with passion. My wife does not have any concrete reason why she decides to stay off our marriage.

Her family is fully in support of my next actions of going to take my baby. Now, the question is this; is it advisable to keep the baby with me while I employ a nanny to raise the baby with me?

Please and please I need mature and sensible advise.

Cc: RoyalRoy

I want this thread to be moved to the right and appropriate section. Thank you!

You care too much about what others says.....shi.t happens even when it's not planned.

You hate divorce but this one is starring in your face. You cannot forecefit a marriage. There is a foundational breakdown in your union, more like you forced her or she was forced into the marriage.

Put the baby in your parent's custody... ignore side talk

[quote author=InsideLife2022 post=113179023][/quote]

Na Ogbanje dey worry her. You need to have a heart yo heart talk with her and if she insists, my brother,leave and find your way but always make sure that your child is provided for.

In Passenger’s voice, you let her go.

[quote author=InsideLife2022 post=113179107][/quote]

Please with the mom to show the baby be with them for now as I believe the mother is still breast feeding the baby.

InsideLife2022:
I have been an active member on this forum for the past eight years. I just created this account to bring this issue to limelight. Good evening gentlemen and ladies. I got married in late 2020. God being merciful, we are blessed with a baby of 5 months. My wife has been giving me attitudes of recent. I have tried to find out what the problem has been, she is not saying anything tangible. I am being confused and depressed. I have been begging her to come back to join me after delivery. She keeps traumazing me emotionally. She just told me our marriage is over. She couldn't say what the problem is.

She has not been taking care of the baby. She was medically advised to stop breastfeeding our baby permanently. Is not that she breastfeeds our baby. My mother in-law and sisters in-law have been complaining about her lack of motherly treats.

They told me she doesn't even know how to take care of the baby. They cannot allow my child to be in her custody because she can't take care of the baby as a mother. She has fought her mother for asking her to leave her house to join her husband. Every member of her family has been asking her what the problem is. She keeps telling them to come and marry me that it's over between us.

I haven't told any of my family members or my friends of what is going on in my marriage. I am a kind of person that do not like involving a third party in my new marriage of lest than two years.

Her family has never supported her actions. Her mom and her siblings have been asking me to come take my wife and baby. But, my wife is not ready to join me. It has been a serious issues in her family house each time they push her to go meet her husband.

Her family has ask me to come with some soldiers or the police to come carry my baby and leave her since she claims she is no longer interested in any marriage. I have been trying my best to make sure my wife never lacked anything during her pregnancy and even after delivery.

My in-laws have been very supportive and good to me. I know they have never and will not support her for her wrong actions and behaviors. My challenge is, my baby is just 5 months and I don't want to take the baby to my parents because of the questions people around will be asking. I don't want to be seen as someone who is separated from his wife. I hate divorce with passion. My wife does not have any concrete reason why she decides to stay off our marriage.

Her family is fully in support of my next actions of going to take my baby. Now, the question is this; is it advisable to keep the baby with me while I employ a nanny to raise the baby with me?

Please and please I need mature and sensible advise.

Cc: RoyalRoy

I want this thread to be moved to the right and appropriate section. Thank you!

Brother, let me tell you.
Forget what everyone else might be saying here.
Your wife's case is not a case or post partum depression or whatever jargon they want to give you.
Its all lies. Stupid lies intended to manipulate you into believing that she is not conscious of the actions she has been taking.

No reasonable woman will fail to take care of her baby, depression or not. No reasonable woman will just wake up and tell you the marriage is over, depression or not.
Believe otherwise at your one peril.
I strongly put it to you that your wife is fully aware of her actions and she is fully thinking out every of her steps.

That being said, you dey eff up. You dey eff up big time. Why will you care about what other people say? That's a very unattractive, low quality from a man. Honestly, how can you give a damn about what people say about your life. Your own life?

My man, as it stands now, divorce is the best option. Divorce that lady now and start looking for a sensible girl to marry, if you're so inclined.

Even if you do not divorce her immediately, take your child away from her.
It is wickedness on your part to allow your own toddler not to receive enough attention and care at this crucial stage.
You have been wicked to that baby and you must now ammend your steps. How do you feel when you know fully well that your wife is not taking care of your infant? How do you sleep at night?
No matter the care from your in-laws, parental affection cannot be matched.
You do not expect that they'll take care of the baby the way you should have done.

I cannot even imagine that my own offspring is not beign taken care of properly by my wife, yet I abandon him/her to my in-laws to take care of. That is so low of you. So, so low. I am disgusted! How can your child be suffering neglect why you, the father, are alive? Please don't give me the bullcrap of in-laws. Unless you want to say your in laws are better human than you are.

Now is time to get over your neglect and wickedness towards your own offspring.
Take back your child now. If necessary, employ a nanny who will help you take care of the child.
But you have to make extra sacrifices. Do not abandon the child to the nanny. Take extra steps to be overly present and involved in the taking care of your own child.

This is exactly what you have to do. If you decide to take any other directly contrasting opinion from this forum, I assure you that it will most certainly not end well.

Someone doesn't want to stay with you and her people are telling you to take her back. If she comes back and stabs you dead overnight, it is those people who will hire lawyer to defend her that she's mentally unstable.
Let her stay where she is and let her undergo counseling and medical intervention if necessary.

All these fake accounts and stories....

At any rate, she likely has postpartum depression. She won't get any real medical treatment in Nigeria, unless it's from a top hospital. The best thing is to leave her with her family, so she is being watched and the baby is being cared for. She will come out of it in time.

It's one of 3 things.

1.The baby is not yours and guilt is eating her up.
2. She is in love with a 3rd party.
3. Postpartum depression alias spiritual problems.

Use your tongue to count your teeth.

PPD
Something off for her brain during delivery and postpartum.
She needs therapy and heaps of love.You can also help by using you ppls language of love.

It could be so bad a mother will Kill) her baby.

Good luck and may God restore her spirit

She should seek help with a postpatum counselor. Some times it leads to mental health issues.

Inside life.

InsideLife2022:
I have been an active member on this forum for the past eight years. I just created this account to bring this issue to limelight. Good evening gentlemen and ladies. I got married in late 2020. God being merciful, we are blessed with a baby of 5 months. My wife has been giving me attitudes of recent. I have tried to find out what the problem has been, she is not saying anything tangible. I am being confused and depressed. I have been begging her to come back to join me after delivery. She keeps traumazing me emotionally. She just told me our marriage is over. She couldn't say what the problem is.

She has not been taking care of the baby. She was medically advised to stop breastfeeding our baby permanently. Is not that she breastfeeds our baby. My mother in-law and sisters in-law have been complaining about her lack of motherly treats.

They told me she doesn't even know how to take care of the baby. They cannot allow my child to be in her custody because she can't take care of the baby as a mother. She has fought her mother for asking her to leave her house to join her husband. Every member of her family has been asking her what the problem is. She keeps telling them to come and marry me that it's over between us.

I haven't told any of my family members or my friends of what is going on in my marriage. I am a kind of person that do not like involving a third party in my new marriage of lest than two years.

Her family has never supported her actions. Her mom and her siblings have been asking me to come take my wife and baby. But, my wife is not ready to join me. It has been a serious issues in her family house each time they push her to go meet her husband.

Her family has ask me to come with some soldiers or the police to come carry my baby and leave her since she claims she is no longer interested in any marriage. I have been trying my best to make sure my wife never lacked anything during her pregnancy and even after delivery.

My in-laws have been very supportive and good to me. I know they have never and will not support her for her wrong actions and behaviors. My challenge is, my baby is just 5 months and I don't want to take the baby to my parents because of the questions people around will be asking. I don't want to be seen as someone who is separated from his wife. I hate divorce with passion. My wife does not have any concrete reason why she decides to stay off our marriage.

Her family is fully in support of my next actions of going to take my baby. Now, the question is this; is it advisable to keep the baby with me while I employ a nanny to raise the baby with me?

Please and please I need mature and sensible advise.

Cc: RoyalRoy

I want this thread to be moved to the right and appropriate section. Thank you!

How many times have you gone to see your wife since she gave birth?

Even if her family is in support of you taking the baby away from her, you can't before the law unless you all can clinically proof that she lacks the mental capacity to nurture the baby.

Do try to read widely on postpartum depression, even watch YouTube videos on it

Seek professional help as psychological therapy, would do her a lot of good.

That's the only solution. Get a nanny to cater for her and move on because your wife has made up her mind and when a woman gets fed up of a man, nothing can change her mind.

In your next life, never force or beg a woman for marriage.
It won't last.

InsideLife2022:
I have been an active member on this forum for the past eight years. I just created this account to bring this issue to limelight. Good evening gentlemen and ladies. I got married in late 2020. God being merciful, we are blessed with a baby of 5 months. My wife has been giving me attitudes of recent. I have tried to find out what the problem has been, she is not saying anything tangible. I am being confused and depressed. I have been begging her to come back to join me after delivery. She keeps traumazing me emotionally. She just told me our marriage is over. She couldn't say what the problem is.

She has not been taking care of the baby. She was medically advised to stop breastfeeding our baby permanently. Is not that she breastfeeds our baby. My mother in-law and sisters in-law have been complaining about her lack of motherly treats.

They told me she doesn't even know how to take care of the baby. They cannot allow my child to be in her custody because she can't take care of the baby as a mother. She has fought her mother for asking her to leave her house to join her husband. Every member of her family has been asking her what the problem is. She keeps telling them to come and marry me that it's over between us.

I haven't told any of my family members or my friends of what is going on in my marriage. I am a kind of person that do not like involving a third party in my new marriage of lest than two years.

Her family has never supported her actions. Her mom and her siblings have been asking me to come take my wife and baby. But, my wife is not ready to join me. It has been a serious issues in her family house each time they push her to go meet her husband.

Her family has ask me to come with some soldiers or the police to come carry my baby and leave her since she claims she is no longer interested in any marriage. I have been trying my best to make sure my wife never lacked anything during her pregnancy and even after delivery.

My in-laws have been very supportive and good to me. I know they have never and will not support her for her wrong actions and behaviors. My challenge is, my baby is just 5 months and I don't want to take the baby to my parents because of the questions people around will be asking. I don't want to be seen as someone who is separated from his wife. I hate divorce with passion. My wife does not have any concrete reason why she decides to stay off our marriage.

Her family is fully in support of my next actions of going to take my baby. Now, the question is this; is it advisable to keep the baby with me while I employ a nanny to raise the baby with me?

Please and please I need mature and sensible advise.

Cc: RoyalRoy

I want this thread to be moved to the right and appropriate section. Thank you!

Are you sure guilt is not the cause of her problem? What if that child is not yours and she can't find a way to tell you? The guy might have promised her heaven on earth but disappeared after the child's birth so she's transferring the hatred to the child. Use your head sha, best of luck.