Hey peeps, is it true that the groom takes care of all expenses in igbo traditional wedding? I hve ask a few igbo friends but their answers not satisfactory

The father of the bride.The white wedding is done by the groom.However prior to the traditional wedding proper,there exists a list of items to be fulfilled by the groom which varies from one part of Igboland to the other.That list is the reason why many people criticize the cost of getting an Igbo wife.The traditional wedding proper is done by the bride's Dad.

My tots as well, the thing is my bro is planning of proposing to an Igbo chic but he is thinking he might not be bouyant enough to foot all the expenses of an Igbo wedding, He sure would be relief to know he wont be absolutely responsible 4 d trad, My tots as well, the thing is my bro is planning of proposing to an Igbo chic but he is thinking he might not be bouyant enough to foot all the expenses of an Igbo wedding, He sure would be relief to know he wont be absolutely responsible 4 d trad,

I think it's supposed to be the bride's dad that'll take care of the cost but in reality it's not the case. The wealthier of the bride or groom takes care of it and in most cases, assist each to attain the standard they desire in their traditional wedding.

If a wealthy groom folds his arms and expect the bride or her dad to take care of it, he might be shocked at the low standard of his traditional wedding that could embarass him and his guests.

In some cases, if the bride's dad cannot contribute because he is poor, he might call off the wedding and tell you you're not ready yet to marry. This is why in most cases, the groom foots the bill without putting pressure on the financially unprepared bride's dad.

Obiagu, you spoke well.

@The poster, the groom buys all the items handed over to him in the list as well as pay the bride price. Some of the items are in this photograph below.

The bride's family has to organise for the actual Igba Nkwu ceremony at the bride's family as Igbo tradition demands. I supported my wife's family during my own Igba nkwu ceremony.

must it be in ibgo land cos i cud imagine a yoruba guy marryin an ibo girl and is stuck wif tryin to move family and friends to dis occasion,

Traditional Marriage in Igbo land is left for the bridegroom. That is why only few can boast of a better life after  marriage in Igbo land. Come to my place in Mbaise, you will see girls of 45 years still unmarried, due to high cost of marriage. The parents of the Bride feel unconcerned about the whole thing, as they feel it your responsibility.

Andre Uweh:

@The poster, the groom buys all the items handed over to him in the list as well as pay the bride price. Some of the items are in this photograph below.

Andre Uweh:

The bride's family has to organise for the actual Igba Nkwu ceremony at the bride's family as Igbo tradition demands. I supported my wife's family during my own Igba nkwu ceremony.

I agree with almost all you said. While the bride's family is responsible for the organisation of the "Igba Nkwu", the groom may still provide the materials depending on circumstances. Usually, if the family of the bride are buoyant, they may shoulder the responsibility, otherwise it is left to the man.

Andre Uweh:

@The poster, the groom buys all the items handed over to him in the list as well as pay the bride price. Some of the items are in this photograph below.

Best Answer so far

@ OP,pls let ur brother get enough FACTS before he dare venture to marry an igbo chic!Infact,I pity the guy if he MISSES THE ROAD!
I was shaking when I got what happened to two of my igbo christian brothers,as I am typing this,their fingers and their money got burnt because according to the igbo tradition,they missed road.I enquired what that means and they said,its a bit complex,each had spent close to half a million naira yet they have not been handed their wife! .
Reason,they went to visit their would-be inlaw from Lagos andinadvertently expressed their willingness to do everything once so they can return to Lagos with their wife.The fiancee family jumped to conclusion that the guy is rich and after requesting he provides some drinks and items which are part of those things requested for marriage rites,they took all,finished it all and told him he has just missed road! .They request he should come another time to collect list and he should come along with some goodies again!!
Now,where is the main lesson?One of them returned to Lagos and quit the relationship and currently in serious financial disaster that eventually got him disfellowshiped 3weeks ago while the other went ahead to impregnate the lady(from what I learnt later,it is cheaper when the woman is pregnant before marriage rites!) and would be disfellowshiped by next sunday!

Now,I compared their experience to what I had to face when I married my wife and I must admit,my in-laws didnt stress me at all,as a matter of fact and tradition,they actually returned my brideprice and told me publicly that the reason they are giving me their daughter is simply because their daughter told them she loves me and the day their daughter says something otherwise,they would come and take her without any hassles afterall,they did not take any bride price from me!

Marriage in igboland,like typical igbo thing,IS BUSINESS!la oju e ki o ma lo palori!!put GOD FIRST!

Igba nkwu is usually organised by the bride's family, this follows from the fact that the wedding is held at the bride's house. This does not preclude the guy from helping out. He is expected to bring yams and stuff like that, but also the guy may want to bring the wedding to his level as his in-laws may not be well off. If he allows his in-laws to do it according to their capacity, the guy will be embarrassed when his friends come for the wedding
The wedding in Igbo land is not as expensive as people make it out to be. When I hear people saying that it's expensive, I ask them whether carpenters and mechanics dont get married in Igbo land. Why it seems extravagant atimes is that people just compete with each other to have the biggest weddings. The basic requirements for marriage in Igbo land is not much.

Obiagu I respect ur analysis about this wine carrying, I bu nwafor Igbo nweli agugu isi. Umuoji chap.

I just wanna hail my Igbo pals in tha house, I am really new here but I have been following you guys for abt 3 years now. I love what you guys are doing here. You knw your selves.

SU2011:

Igba nkwu is usually organised by the bride's family, this follows from the fact that the wedding is held at the bride's house. This does not preclude the guy from helping out. He is expected to bring yams and stuff like that, but also the guy may want to bring the wedding to his level as his in-laws may not be well off. If he allows his in-laws to do it according to their capacity, the guy will be embarrassed when his friends come for the wedding
The wedding in Igbo land is not as expensive as people make it out to be. When I hear people saying that it's expensive, I ask them whether carpenters and mechanics dont get married in Igbo land. Why it seems extravagant atimes is that people just compete with each other to have the biggest weddings. The basic requirements for marriage in Igbo land is not much.

I ask same questions o. How do Okada riders, civil servants, brick layers of Igbo origin marry in Igboland if their wedding ceremony costs millions?. Does it mean that the poor ones among them stay unmarried?. Something is not adding up.


[img]https://www.nairaland.com/attachments/497556_igba_nkwu-Rebisi__jpg5b89b9a62408662e7d39f52bfc651f9e[/img]

Besides, if you are trying to get married and you can't afford these items above, you can as well remain single because you can't afford to pay for your children's school fees.

kizito96:

Traditional Marriage in Igbo land is left for the bridegroom. That is why only few can boast of a better life after  marriage in Igbo land. Come to my place in Mbaise, you will see girls of 45 years still unmarried, due to high cost of marriage. The parents of the Bride feel unconcerned about the whole thing, as they feel it your responsibility.  

stop posting all this rubbish your bigger than this . stop sounding like a child , no be the same mbaise i just returned from today , my friend had his traditional wedding yesterday and he is just a normal working class fellow neiither was there any big deal with the requirements, i have been to an hausa wedding where the groom bought truck of cows for the brides wedding. only folks that are afraid of marriage and commitement that go about ranting like this, people have been marrying from there for centuries before your great grand fathers where born and will continue to do so.

The truth is indeed bitter

aloy-emeka:

I ask same questions o. How do Okada riders, civil servants, brick layers of Igbo origin marry in Igboland if their wedding ceremony costs millions?. Does it mean that the poor ones among them stay unmarried?. Something is not adding up.


[img]https://www.nairaland.com/attachments/497556_igba_nkwu-Rebisi__jpg5b89b9a62408662e7d39f52bfc651f9e[/img]

Besides, if you are trying to get married and you can't afford these items above, you can as well remain single because you can't afford to pay for your children's school fees.

exactly my brother anybody that cannot afford these items have no buisness having a girlfriend talkless of marrying to produce children .

DRlulu:

stop posting all this rubbish your bigger than this . stop sounding like a child , no be the same mbaise i just returned from today , my friend had his traditional wedding yesterday and he is just a normal working class fellow neiither was there any big deal with the requirements, i have been to an hausa wedding where the groom bought truck of cows for the brides wedding. only folks that are afraid of marriage and commitement that go about ranting like this, people have been marrying from there for centuries before your great grand fathers where born and will continue to do so.

I married an Mbaise woman and trust me I can't even remember how much it cost me but surely more expensive than marrying elsewhere. Not saying it was cheap but as a young man with fairly averge wallet I didn't feel it at all, But my father Inlaw dash me and wife one V yansh and one house sha   after the wedding, so if anyone wan marry Mbaise woman, one still remain for my inlaw dem house o

Yoru_Igbo:

I married an Mbaise woman and trust me I can't even remember how much it cost me but surely more expensive than marrying elsewhere. Not saying it was cheap but as a young man with fairly averge wallet I didn't feel it at all, But my father Inlaw dash me and wife one V yansh and one house sha   after the wedding, so if anyone wan marry Mbaise woman, one still remain for my inlaw dem house o

Yoru_Igbo, what part of Mbaise u marry? I am an Mbaise(Ezinniette) Man based in the U.S, If ur inlaw fine, connect me to her, i dey look for good mbaise woman to marry sharp sharp,

A million thanks to all my Igbo pals on nairaland, U guys are d best and very knowledgeable, My bro really need prep himself well b4 é go "MISS ROAD".

hello house,i believe everybody is right to an extent,but as of every tradition,some people are well enlightened more than the other,it used to be like that which i do confirmed from my igbo friends but notwithstanding,some people will still try to be greedy
Igbo own is still even much more better,when we calculated the list they gave my cousin that married an akwa-ibom,it was over a million naira,but after so many negotiations they actually reduced their demands.

volasunkan:

@ OP,pls let your brother get enough FACTS before he dare venture to marry an igbo chic!Infact,I pity the guy if he MISSES THE ROAD!
I was shaking when I got what happened to two of my igbo christian brothers,as I am typing this,their fingers and their money got burnt because according to the igbo tradition,they missed road.I enquired what that means and they said,its a bit complex,each had spent close to half a million naira yet they have not been handed their wife! .
Reason,they went to visit their would-be inlaw from Lagos andinadvertently expressed their willingness to do everything once so they can return to Lagos with their wife.The fiancee family jumped to conclusion that the guy is rich and after requesting he provides some drinks and items which are part of those things requested for marriage rites,they took all,finished it all and told him he has just missed road! .They request he should come another time to collect list and he should come along with some goodies again!!
Now,where is the main lesson?One of them returned to Lagos and quit the relationship and currently in serious financial disaster that eventually got him disfellowshiped 3weeks ago while the other went ahead to impregnate the lady(from what I learnt later,it is cheaper when the woman is pregnant before marriage rites!) and would be disfellowshiped by next sunday!

Now,I compared their experience to what I had to face when I married my wife and I must admit,my in-laws didnt stress me at all,as a matter of fact and tradition,they actually returned my brideprice and told me publicly that the reason they are giving me their daughter is simply because their daughter told them she loves me and the day their daughter says something otherwise,they would come and take her without any hassles afterall,they did not take any bride price from me!

Marriage in igboland,like typical igbo thing,IS BUSINESS!la oju e ki o ma lo palori!!put GOD FIRST!

Fairytale!
Don't forget to pull your head out of your a.s.s before you leave the forum.

Carlmax:

A million thanks to all my Igbo pals on nairaland, U guys are d best and very knowledgeable, My bro really need prep himself well b4 é go "MISS ROAD".

The first question your bro should ask himself is whether he could afford his kids school fees. If the answer is 'No', then he should go and work harder before he could think of marrying an Igbo girl.

Once he can afford his kids school fees, then he can equally afford a traditional marriage.

I grew up in igboland and knows that the basic requirements for the traditional marriage in igbo land is quite cheap though it varies from state to state with anambra and enugu being cheaper than imo, even within imo the cost varies but generally it is very affordable. U just have to consult the girls family and explain ur financial capability to them instead of posing off.most towns in anambra have constitutions which list out the requirements for bride price and traditional wedding but because the indigenes are generally well off they like doing more to impress their guests so if ur trying to cut costs tell ur in laws and just ask for the list of basic requirements. A friend of mine from the university just married his live in girl friend from school and both the traditional marriage, bride price and church wedding cost less than 100k though everything was low key so be plain honest with ur in laws. ecause the indigenes are generally well off they like doing more to impress their guests so if ur trying to cut costs tell ur in laws and just ask for the list of basic requirements. A friend of mine from the university just married his live in girl friend from school and both the traditional marriage, bride price and church wedding cost less than 100k though everything was low key so be plain honest with ur in laws.

just ask the parent how much gonna cost you?

Da Doctor:

^^THIS IS IGBO LAND NOT YORUBA WHERE THE BRIDES PARENTS CONTRIBUTE A GREAT OR GREATER PART. IN IGBO LAND THE GROOMS DOES IT ALL AND HANDS SAME OVER BEFORE HAND. IF U ARENT MAN ENOUGH , PLS SIT BACK^^

IT MAY NOT EVEN END AT THE ABOVE THE GROOM HAS TO CLOTH THE BRIDES FAMILY ETC IN MOST CASES

Thank u, my brother. All these igbo people sef go just dey paint rosy pictures. If you from another tribe not igbo the thing cost no be small. Carpenter dey marry igbo woman from the same community/village/town. No carpenter from outside fit marry igbo woman ooooooooooh make dem no deceive you.

another angle be say if the woman don born pickin before you meet her the thing cheap no be small because na big disgrace for igbo culture, they hardly marry single mom. Those kind bride dem dey very cheap, in fact dem fit dash you sef.

but single lady na you go foot all the bills including the entertainment because dem go collect am indirectly.

So like the quote above 'IF YOU AREN'T MAN ENOUGH, NO TRY AM'

For my one traditional, my dad footed all the bills but asked my husband to bring a token. The brideprice as contained in the constitution was 60naira which is what my dad took. My in-laws could not believe that there was no list so they bought drinks and tubers of yam and a he goat but my dad reurned all.

My sister married a yoruba guy and they didnt even bring that token. They were 60 of them that came and my dad paid for hotel rooms for all of them with more than enough food and gifts.

I think that if you have a nice family that you are marrying into, they won't hassle you at all.

Everything they will eat on that day will be provided by the bride's father. The groom will just pay her dowry and buy the necessary stuff for the kinsmen.