Hello Nlanders,
I have some to say concerning family conflict and the role a child should play at an event like this.

I've seen so many posts on Facebook about how teens hate their dad for a reason or more and is a trend among them to talk ill about him even though he provides for them. I get to understand their resentment towards their dad and why it would be hard to make peace with him.

In most African homes the father, who's the head of a family has a vital role to protect, provide and love his family unconditionally. He is the one responsible to lead his family and show good examples of a loving father.

As a kid, we witnessed times when our parents get into arguments or fights over relevant/irrelevant things. As a child growing up seeing how your father treat your mother would be a trauma to hardly outgrow. The factor sets in when the mom takes you by her side whenever there's a situation. Why? Because she feels unsafe to trust her husband completely or the love she had for him is winding down and all that she has is the child that came out of her. Most of the time she will tell you stories about how your father was hostile during the time she took in and he will rarely care to answer her attention. You've witnessed it firsthand and you have seen the character of the man who is called your father and it can affect you mentally when you grow up.

If we are to look at some other angles, in this case, mothers failed to play a role as part in handling family crises which are being truthful to their children. Yes, y'all know women are known to be manipulative, emotional, dependab, deceitful, and indecisive. A mother can easily manipulate a story for her child to believe anything about her father's character (even though is true). They tend to use sentiments to solidify the new hate they have instilled in their children, seeing a reckless act from the father would intensify everything.

Most men are known to be independent, rigid, hostile and nonchalant. They can go as far as being a dictator in their homes. Everything is done according to his bidding. Men like this are violent, inadvisable, threatening, and insecure. They pose to cause more harm than good in the family. Nothing brings satisfaction to their table. Either they are regretful, pass through hardship, cheat, can't see any good in their marriage, or have a mental problem. Easily one little mistake from their child is a dire consequence to face.
They have little or no time to lecture their kids and in my opinion, fathers are supposed to be open-minded to their kids. Learn to love and cater to them as it should be. A toxic father breeds up the worst child in society. Even as you provide for them as per your responsibility without fatherly love, it remains that the kids are less privileged of having a good father.

Lastly, as a child, the fruit of the home. Is expected to show innocence and transparency towards your parents. Your mind is still young to understand marital situations and is best for you to stay out of it till you are off age. A child can judge when their parents are in a squabble and feeling that comes with it is fear, confusion and sadness. It would be difficult for the child to cope with the frequent quarrel and fight their parents get involved in. Which is not good for a child's mental health as he/she grows. This trauma leads to finding the root cause of the crisis happening in the home be it the father or the mother (most times the father is the cause). The child will become more hostile towards who started it if the who was victim (either other parents) show more care than the other.


Now, I want to talk about a vital role a child should play in such cases because children are/ can as well be the bridge to their parents connection. If a well trained child smart enough to talk to each of their parents abour a rising conflict in the house, do you know the difference it will make? Or as a teen, you stand against the ill-treatment from either your father or mother towards you don't you think it will slowly birth a change?
As children, teens you can do better in the home instead of joining the trend to trash your father/mother in public forums or media.

Don't quote me wrong, I'm only putting out my opinion on the family crisis children experience as they grow up. If there's any mistake I made I stand to be corrected. Thank you!


And that by the way, this is a video of a very young girl advising her mom for quarreling with her dad. Hope it makes your day!
https://fb.watch/fxionPImq1/

( I dunno how to import videos here so please click the link to watch)

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