Dear Survivor2020

I read your story on frontpage and I thought I should share my own little experience, maybe you'll have a change of heart


My elder sister got pregnant in the year 2000, I was only 6 years old then and the last child of my parents. We were 6 children; 4 boys and 2 girls and she was the eldest in the house.

My parents were furious, she was sent out of the house and just like your story, the guy that got her pregnant was also too young to start a family.

That was how my elder sister roamed about till she gave birth under poor conditions to a beautifulbaby girl. She'll hide in the Bush neat our home while we sneak food to her and her child.
I can't forget the day my mom caught her hiding behind the tree near our house and brought them back. We all forgave each other and started life as a family again.

As if that was not enough, my other elder sister got pregnant again when she was about to write her WAEC. Hers was even more embarrassing because almost everyone in my community knew except us in the family. Well, we'd learnt from the first experience, so we let her be. She gave birth to a handsome boy.

Both got married and moved on with their lives.


From 2015 to 2018 I lost 3 siblings. One of my elder brothers and the two sisters.

The girl that my elder sister gave birth to got married last year, and honestly I don't know how my mother would have fared without her. She's the woman of the house , the first daughter and the only daughter and we wey be men of the house respect her. My mom just came back from vacation from her house last week. She's the only one my mom can have a proper girls talk with. Imagine if she'd died in that Bush then...

The boy my other elder sister gave birth to is the most intelligent boy anyone could wish for as a brother. He was born in 2007, but he's grown to be a very wise and hardworking boy. He's not very book smart, but he is very hardworking and responsible and he's the man of the house now.

Whilst me and my other elder brothers go in search of greener pastures, these two wonderful people have held the home front.

The last time I travelled home and my mom and I was having the conversation, she kept thanking God for giving us those two perfect mistakes. And God will continue to bless them.




In conclusion, I'm begging you to go take back your daughter and her child before that guy impregnate her again. At 17, she still has her life before her and can still come good.
Thank you

Disown wati.leaving on her own gonna bring hatred towards ur family

This is very deep
but please stop supporting controversial candidate

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that peter obi na sumtin else
IRMC

CraigslistAD, Thank you very much for this.

Here's the original thread
https://www.nairaland.com/7345576/hope-decision-not-bad

budaatum:
CraigslistAD, Thank you very much for this.

Nice one CraigslistAD

cc: Survivor2020

Wow...inspirational...thanks, for sharing.

I often tell people this: most occurrences, bitter or sweet, aren't by mistake. They were meant to happen in actualizing our life's design and purpose, and subsequently go on to define what would make up our life's history.

I had to go back digging for this personal story I had shared a long time ago on an almost similar thread...

Enjoy...

NB

I am sharing the story below as a result of the op's and his ilk's unruly attack on me and my submission just to make them see life from a different perspective and understand from what point my advice was made...


Growing up in the standard Lagos face me I slap you setting in Mafoluku Oshodi when the Military boys held sway in Nigeria, most of the matures here or history savvy's would understand how hopeless and depressing the economy and general standard of living was at this time.

Now, daddy and mummy had chosen to manufacture 11 of us as kids, and I'd be saddled with the onerous task of being the Nigerian "first son" with loads of expectations from me on finding a way to alleviate the family's situation and by extension better the lots of kids I had been brought into the world with at my parents' behest and not because I had chosen to come to them.

You can at best imagine daddy, mum, we the kids, and a cousin living with us then having to jostle for a space in a two-room living space from a sixteen-room face me I face you living set up.

Not able to wrap my mind around the kind of life I had been born into and in the quest to better mine and my family's lot, I decided I was going to quit school, find a way to travel abroad, and go hustle for my family.

Before then, a bachelor neighbor Oli, had chosen our house as the only trusted one where he could drop his keys because he lived with his boys/friends who were all traders at Idumota.

There was one of his roomies who was in his 40s then (Ikenna), he was always ever the last to leave home and would, as usual, drop their key at mine.

My immediate younger sister (Mary) had just finished high school, naive and still a virgin, she'd naturally be at home most time.

In the midst of all these, I found out I could risk my life in the desert in search of a better life abroad, after all how I want to take get a visa, and if I die, I die but I had decided I'd rather die trying instead of sitting, watching my family ravaged by poverty and still die. All die na die I had told my young self.

Got myself prepped, lied to my dad, and made him raise me some little cash, and into the desert, I proceeded.

For two whole years, I had languished on the road and was only able to communicate with my family only after about 6 months of leaving home. For sure they'd thought I had gone back to my maker.

After the two unforgettable years of languishing on the road, I had succeeded into Spain eventually, called up daddy to break the news to him, but he didn't quite believe me. Note that this was before the era of mobile phones in Nigeria. Sensing that daddy was having a hard time believing I was in Spain finally, I dropped the line, did a western union money transfer from the locotorium I was calling from, called him back, and furnished him with the transfer details.

Then and only then was I able to convince daddy otherwise.

And then, keeping to my nomadic and adventurous lifestyle, I proceeded to move on to the Netherlands to go tell the authorities there how I and my friendly 'horse' on whose back I had ridden to Europe were the only ones surviving from my little village in Delta, hence my request to seek asylum in their country.

Luckily for me, I had succeeded in convincing them to allow me to stay in the Netherlands, and would be given a weekly stipend as pocket money back then in camp. From this money I'd call home on weekends, talk to my family and always assured my other siblings that I'd make sure they had the best education having slaughtered mine on the altar of "I wan bail family out".

During one of such weekend calls, after the usual pleasantries exchanged, daddy had told me in a stutter....

" Mary, your younger sister fell pregnant and now has a daughter"...

Ah ah... I had muttered in obvious instant deflation plus disappointment, but I had refused to get angry, judge my sister, or castigate her.

I asked daddy, how, when, and by whom...


Still stuttering, he had told me it was like a month after I had left Nigeria, she initially wasn't forthcoming with who was responsible, how it had brought shame to the family which I could imagine knowing how our neighbors were, and how even some people had been insinuating that daddy who was a deeper life pastor might be responsible because no one could make a sense of how Mary who was a home girl could fall pregnant. The whole matter weak me like dodo, but I listened with rapt attention anyways.

And then, daddy said she later confessed that Ikenna, who we called Brother Ikenna was responsible. He had denied responsibility but when my battalion siblings faced him, he had accepted the responsibility with zero plans to marry her just like this op.

I told dad how disappointed I was, and how angry I am that they had kept it away from me for that long, told them not to worry that I'd take care of my sister and the kid, and hung up.

Fast forward to 2008 when I visited Nigeria, the baby Vic had grown, obviously abandoned with my family. She'd grown up to see my mum as hers and Mary as aunty Mary until recently.

Levels had changed, I had improved my family's situation, built them a house in Lagos, Ikenna gone with the wind, and would soon resurface looking for daddy's number and whoever could point him on how to locate my family.

By this time he should be in his 50s, no life, wife or any other kid. Come and see abeg.


My phone would go bellowing one day, upon picking up, the voice at the other end had been subtle and subdued with a "good afternoon sir, na me Ikenna"...

Ah ah..bwoda Ikenna, na me you dey call sir?

He went on, abeg no vex for wetin happen I know say I Bleep up...wetIn i wan tell bwoda Ikenna after how many years... I simply dropped the call.. I no fit shout.

The long and short of it all is that, today over 20 years later...

Brother Ikenna's life is nothing to write home about.

Mary, my younger sister is today happily married and would soon be one of the youngest grandmas because Vicky, the kid in question has grown into a very beautiful young graduate.

Ishilove:

You are a very disgusting creature who should be permanently banned from Nairaland.

Mynd 44, Rule 3

You see why social media should be regulated?

Why would anyone kick out their daughter for getting pregnant.

I can't for the life of me understand the rationale behind that.

E dey really pain me sha.

ShaqFu:
You see why social media should be regulated?

Seriously

Ishilove:

Seriously

Why do you hate me so much?

Ishilove:

Seriously

those who clamor against the regulation of social media are the ones who are doing every thing possible to make this country the Hell hole it is.

Thanks for this. There're certain things that shouldn't happen because when they happen, you just have to take them that way. That girl will die if the man doesn't take her back and become a father to her and a grandfather to her daughter.

VeryWickedMan:


Why do you hate me so much?

She likes you

How about the uncountable teenage girls whose lives was ruined through premature pregnancy?

I will always advise abortion.

Nigeria has enough population already.

@gaby. Bros, thanks for your input. You na very good story teller. No dull moments, reading your story.

Sincerely, I wanted to post my comment on the original thread but I realized alot has been said and I must commend those who gave the original op their window's minded counsel.

Now this is not just a joke but very serious issue because the power of sex and sexuality is not something to be taken lightly. Please teenagers heed advice and protect your future. The consequences are even more destructive for girl compared to boys. So please, there are teenagers who are presently keeping their body and sexual life pure. It is not even a question of hell or heaven but there are things like disease other stuff that will teach you the lesson of life. It's painful. Pls the man should take her daughter back with thr child....but please dont show her you've easily forgiven her. Try and be nice and friendly with her but makw sure you're strict in monitoring her relationship with the opposite sex. It's crazy the way kids have sex shamelessly and even brag about it publicly.

henrimoto:
@gaby. Bros, thanks for your input. You na very good story teller. No dull moments, reading your story.

Hahahhaha...i like tori well well oh...lol