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Stats: 3,134,851 members, 7,749,040 topics. Date: Monday, 26 February 2024 at 06:18 PM
|I Hope My Decision Is Not Bad? by Survivor2020(m): 12:57am On Sep 22, 2022
My 17 years old brought shame to me last year she got pregnant, I have disowned her and sent her packing. She is staying with her boyfriend in his family home.
She gave birth 5 months ago she has been sick ever since she had the baby and the boyfriend doesn't have any money to take care of her. Plus the living condition is not suitable for her in her condition.
I have forgiven her and I want to take her back home so I can take her to the hospital for treatment but I don't want her to come with her baby. Please note there is only me and my 7 years old son at home. I work and my son goes to school till 5pm.
I don't have time to babysit the baby.
I want the father to take care of his child while I take care of mine.
I hope my decision is not bad?
132 Likes 12 Shares
|Re: I Hope My Decision Is Not Bad? by wwwkaycom(m): 1:31am On Sep 22, 2022
Survivor2020:Your decision is not only bad but wicked. Where were you when such a ferociously poor guy was shacking your daughter?
I can imagine what your daughter is going through in the hand of a family that lacks the financial wherewithal to take care of basic medicare. I can conveniently refer to you as wicked for releasing your daughter to that kind of family. Are you sure she is feeding well? She made a mistake right, but you made an even greater one by throwing her out to be devoured by that verocious thing you called her boyfriend. Someone who can't afford basic medicare! E wicked Sir. Go and get the girl and her little daughter out of that dungeon before that poor boyfriend impregnate her again. I don't think you understand the psychology of such ferociously poor guys, they live and swim in poverty, do nothing about their live and hope a miracle will happen one day and they'll eventually get out of their miseries. Deliver your daughter and her little girl now!
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|Re: I Hope My Decision Is Not Bad? by Kobojunkie: 2:09am On Sep 22, 2022
Survivor2020 , you didn't tell us the age of the boy who impregnated the girl.
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|Re: I Hope My Decision Is Not Bad? by shege45: 2:42am On Sep 22, 2022
Survivor2020:better take the two of them.
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|Re: I Hope My Decision Is Not Bad? by Foodqueen(f): 3:22am On Sep 22, 2022
Since there is no woman that can take care of the baby in your house, your decision isn't bad.
I hope the guy's mother is there.
Pls make haste before it's too late.
We've seen situations like this multiple times, both in movies and real life, it usually doesn't end well.
134 Likes 9 Shares
|Re: I Hope My Decision Is Not Bad? by fastseo: 3:43am On Sep 22, 2022
Please take your daughter back with the baby.
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|Re: I Hope My Decision Is Not Bad? by Helpout12345: 3:55am On Sep 22, 2022
Please take her back with the baby. 5 months old baby is too young to be left without the mother.
Remember the baby is still your grand child.
321 Likes 22 Shares
|Re: I Hope My Decision Is Not Bad? by plantainbender(m): 6:16am On Sep 22, 2022
Your 7-year old has been faring well while you're making money, I'm sure an 18-year old mother and her child will survive. Just bring them home, she has learnt her lessons, I'm sure.
Please, forgive her and bring them back home.
271 Likes 9 Shares
|Re: I Hope My Decision Is Not Bad? by Nobody: 6:48am On Sep 22, 2022
Your decision is not bad but I doubt if your daughter will agree to part with her baby. Ladies should be wise on who they open their legs for that’s if you are doing premarital sex. Stop dating young men(teenagers and men in their 20’s) but they won’t hear
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|Re: I Hope My Decision Is Not Bad? by ukaface(f): 7:22am On Sep 22, 2022
Survivor2020:but she's the mother of the child, your grandchild.
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|Re: I Hope My Decision Is Not Bad? by obinna58(m): 7:26am On Sep 22, 2022
You think you're doing your daughter? You're doing yourself.
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|Re: I Hope My Decision Is Not Bad? by Survivor2020(m): 7:33am On Sep 22, 2022
He is 21
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|Re: I Hope My Decision Is Not Bad? by Survivor2020(m): 7:35am On Sep 22, 2022
His mother is alive he also has three elder sisters living at home who are in the best position to take care of their grand daughter/ niece
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|Re: I Hope My Decision Is Not Bad? by Survivor2020(m): 7:36am On Sep 22, 2022
I can't take both of them my daughter is sick she need rest and time to recover
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|Re: I Hope My Decision Is Not Bad? by main24(m): 8:22am On Sep 22, 2022
Chief, this is difficult. I am sure you would have warned your daughter several times about this but...na wa oo.
Unfortunately most people won't understand your frustration and pain.
Please how can you help her? The baby also needs help please.
How can you assist both of them?
In any possible way you can please do.
Wishing you all the best.
138 Likes 3 Shares
|Re: I Hope My Decision Is Not Bad? by Mindlog: 8:26am On Sep 22, 2022
She got pregnant as an adolescent, she did not commit murder!
No matter how angry and disappointed you are, you did wrong abandoning your daughter and your grandchild, biologically and legally that baby will always be linked to you.
You are aware that she has been sick for 5 months now since she gave birth, living in deplorable condition and you comfortably sleep and wake up everyday, going about your normal life as if you don't have a child somewhere who probably may be dying.
Are you waiting for her to die, so you can get the police to arrest the boyfriend?
The boyfriend's father was wise enough to send you pictures of your daughter in her poor health, so should anything happen to her you can't claim ignorance even in court, he has evidence that you know.
Your daughter is still a minor irrespective of her already being a mother, you are obligated to her welfare, should anything happen to her..you will be hugely blamed and you will regret not intervening earlier.
Even if her mum is not in the picture, go bring your daughter and grandchild home and get an older female relative to help out
That baby MUST not be separated from the mother.
You are "lucky" you are in Nigeria, where social workers are not effective.......dashing your adolescent daughter as if she is a piece of fabric because she get belle, causing more damage.
Always remember that your daughter's mother is not living with you, neither is your son's mother living with you and that is an insight of dysfunctionality.
187 Likes 10 Shares
|Re: I Hope My Decision Is Not Bad? by Nobody: 8:30am On Sep 22, 2022
First of all, Where is the mother of your children?
By the way, why should you bother about babysitting the baby when the mother ( your daughter) can do that?
If she can open her legs and Bleep at that age, she should be able to do the work that comes with it.
Leaving the child with it's father is simply giving your daughter freedom to continue with her sexcapades and in no time, she'll bring another pregnancy home but if she's saddled with the responsibility of babysitting her baby, she'll learn some dicipline and maturity.
Bring the baby along. Keep her busy with the baby to tie her down from jumping from one dick to the other.
Again, where is their mother?
81 Likes 5 Shares
|Re: I Hope My Decision Is Not Bad? by Brooke60(f): 9:34am On Sep 22, 2022
Step sis was shuttling between seeing her son in Lagos while schooling in FUTA. She died in an accident. My dad never got to see her and the son (still alive).
My dad told me the story, until my dad's death (he died at 82), he never forgave himself for what he did to his daughter. He said, all he had to do was to forgive her and take her back but the 'Agidi' from Ondo state won't let him do that.
He regretted it. Don't be like that. Don't lose your daughter, take her back, take your grandchild & give her life! She is just 17 ffs! She can still achieve a lot and be the daughter you wanted. Might not be easy but there is a reason you are the father.
324 Likes 17 Shares
|Re: I Hope My Decision Is Not Bad? by Tina001(f): 9:47am On Sep 22, 2022
You did the right thing by sending her to her boyfriend who impregnated her. A child that says she is stubborn and won't heed to the advice of her father should be ready to face the consequences of her actions.
However, I am sure she has learnt her lessons now in a bitter way, since she is in a pitiable condition and you can help her, please help her, There is an adage that says; if you use one hand to beat your child, use the second hand to draw him near and comfort him. Also, pikin nor fit bad make we kan throway am give lion chop.. She is still your daughter, kindly take care of her and your grandchild, she has learnt her lessons and will be of good behaviour henceforth
78 Likes 5 Shares
|Re: I Hope My Decision Is Not Bad? by Stevenbright(m): 10:18am On Sep 22, 2022
If you have truly forgiven her, you will accept her and her child wholeheartedly without any condition!
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|Re: I Hope My Decision Is Not Bad? by Survivor2020(m): 10:20am On Sep 22, 2022
My 7 years old doesn't stay alone at home he go to after school lessons I pick him up at 5pm Mon to thrusday we go home together , on Friday his mother pick him up he stay with her for weekend.
My daughter is sick i have seen her picture that her boyfriend father has sent to me and i couldnt hold my tears .
she urgently needs medical care and I want her to be stress free her health is very important for me the baby has her father and her father people who can take care of her while I am taking care of mine.
I rather bring her home alone and do my best as a father for her to get well because if anything happen to her I will never forgive myself.
24 Likes 2 Shares
|Re: I Hope My Decision Is Not Bad? by emmanuelbrown26: 10:36am On Sep 22, 2022
Op, I perfectly understand how u feel right now, I know how painful a father feels whenever a child brings shame to d family.
Since there's no woman around for babysitting, allow ur daughter to do that by herself, since she could open her legs for a guy to insert his iron.
Raising a girl child is a task on its own, no matter how hard a parent/s tries, Infact their should be an institution whereby raising a girl child should be taught.
|Re: I Hope My Decision Is Not Bad? by frozen70(f): 12:03pm On Sep 22, 2022
Leaving that little child behind and take her mother is worse than the anger you had when she became pregnant
I will advice you take her for treatment along with her child, after treatment let her go back to the man
By the time she stays there for two years with all she will be going through
Next time she will close her legs tight
|Re: I Hope My Decision Is Not Bad? by Ulunne777(f): 12:13pm On Sep 22, 2022
Bring her back oo.My neighbor sent her daughter away like this to her boyfriend only for the guy to give her another pregnancy barely 2 months after birth of the first pregnancy which now resulted in twins.
2 16 yr old children totally dependent on their parents.Now the boys mother sent the girl away with the babies ,say she like prick too much and after ppl begging the girl's parents,they now accepted 3 babies . .
Manage one now before the poor man will turn her to a baby factory
199 Likes 14 Shares
|Re: I Hope My Decision Is Not Bad? by Mindlog: 12:31pm On Sep 22, 2022
Agreed she veered into the wrong path, engaging in what she ought not to have but her father shouldn't give up on her (have no idea of the circumstance of her birth mother), she needs to be redirected and helped to go back to school when her child is a bit older.
Genevieve Nnaji also had her child about the same age but her family didn't 'condemn" her to the baby's father, rather after her baby , she went back to finish her secondary school education and today, is she not an assest to her family?
A teenage mother going back to school is for the good of the community.
39 Likes 3 Shares
|Re: I Hope My Decision Is Not Bad? by ahnie: 1:16pm On Sep 22, 2022
Ulunne777:Babe honestly you're a beautiful clown
|Re: I Hope My Decision Is Not Bad? by NemoDatQuod(m): 1:48pm On Sep 22, 2022
On the face of it, it will seem you are a wicked person. But I don't think you are. Nigeria has a way of making us forget what it means to be a human being.
You kicked out a child that came from your loins/womb because she made the human mistake of getting pregnant as a minor. Do you remember that a child is a reward from the true God? You threw the reward He gave you back at His face. All of this driven by your feeling of "shame". You need to go to God and tell Him what you have done and ask for forgiveness. You also need to ask your daughter for forgiveness for not protecting her and giving her succour when she did something foolish and needed you most.
We all make mistakes, both big and small. There is nothing new about those mistakes, including pregnancy out of wedlock. What is important is how we react to our mistakes. You didn't give that child the opportunity to learn from her mistake. It is a surprise that she has not gotten pregnant a second time already. It is also a credit to her and probably to the upbringing you gave her, that she did not decide to become a runs girl and go about making money for herself with what she has, since you threw her out.
Please go and bring back your daughter and your grand child. Don't say what you did, inferring that your grand child is someone else's child in a derogatory manner ("I don't have time to babysit the baby. I want the father to take care of his child while I take care of mine." ). That comes across as callous and unhinged to normal people.
There will always be significant challenges in life. We don't throw away our children or grand children because of challenges. We make the determination to stick with and by them regardless and after some years, you will look back and wonder how you all overcame that challenge that looked so insurmountable. That is the nature of life and living.
Bring your daughter and grandchild home. That grand child needs his/her mother. You can then go into an arrangement with the father of the child on how best he can help with baby sitting and taking care of the grandchild while your daughter recoversl.
And please, stop focusing on what others may think or say. "Shame" or "Disgrace" is when someone commits a crime. Not when a minor makes a normal human mistake. We seem to come down too hard on our girls who refuse to commit "murder by abortion", than on those who do. If she had had an abortion, you most likely would have been alright with it and carried on letting her live with you.
I have not and I am not blaming you. Our country can make us do insane things because of the criminality of the ruling class. But we owe ourselves a duty to always do what is right, regardless of the temporary difficulties. At the end of our days walking this earth, we will look back and give a sigh of gratitude and relief that we did the right thing, even when doing the wrong thing seemed the better alternative.
I wish you well.
35 Likes 5 Shares
|Re: I Hope My Decision Is Not Bad? by Omobithousand(f): 1:51pm On Sep 22, 2022
Please take her back immediately,the baby can stay with them for now if u don't have anyone to take care of the baby.....a stitch in time saves nine
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|Re: I Hope My Decision Is Not Bad? by Karleb(m): 2:16pm On Sep 22, 2022
You are the definition of a bad father.
How will sending her off to the boyfriend house solve anything?
The fact that she got pregnant under your watch shows you failed her as a parent.
To redeem yourself, get your daughter back, continue training her as you should then discuss with the boy parents on how you would take care of the baby.
How exactly do you people think?
31 Likes 4 Shares
|Re: I Hope My Decision Is Not Bad? by Karleb(m): 2:20pm On Sep 22, 2022
May you never lack.
I seriously wonder how people think these days.
How would a right thinking person dash out his daughter because she got pregnant.
Where is the sense in that?
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|Re: I Hope My Decision Is Not Bad? by Ishilove: 2:54pm On Sep 22, 2022
Brooke60:This is so sad...
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|Re: I Hope My Decision Is Not Bad? by Acidosis(m): 3:07pm On Sep 22, 2022
You need to put your house in order. History has a way of repeating itself.
30 Likes 2 Shares
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