My friend (32) is a single father of one in Nigeria with somewhat okay career in Nigeria. Few months ago, he hinted me about a lady he has been talking to who resides in Canada, but she is a Nigerian but now has Canadian citizen. They met online and the conversation has been decent and fruitful. The lady in question is single and she is 38yrs. According to what he told me, the lady has been in search of a partner to no avail. My friend is a goodlooking man, with excellent gift of the gab, the type that will make a woman drool. I wasnt in the know of how their communication shifted to dating, but it looks like the lady has interest in dating my friend. Their agreement was for her to come to Nigeria while they make arrangement toward getting married and all of that. And after some times, she will arrange for him to come to meet her in Canada.

This looks good on paper. But I have fear for my friend. We all know how Nigerian women are. If this woman has option of men in Canada, there is no way she will show interest in my friend. Ordinarily, Nigerian woman who secure job in Access bank will think of herself worthy of no man except gods because she is now independent and can take care of herself, not to talk of the one in Canada that will think herself undeserving of a man in a 3rd world country. Yeah, I have most of them as friends and this is usually their line of reasoning. Women dont date for love, they date the ones that are perceived better in look, finance and worth than them. Seems the inability to find a commited partner in Canada pushed the said lady to start making such decision. What if this man relocate and she pull the guilt card on him? Letting him realized how she brings him to canada

Onolulu:
My friend (32) is a single father of one in Nigeria with somewhat okay career in Nigeria. Few months ago, he hinted me about a lady he has been talking to who resides in Canada, but she is a Nigerian but now has Canadian citizen. They met online and the conversation has been decent and fruitful. The lady in question is single and she is 38yrs. According to what he told me, the lady has been in search of a partner to no avail. My friend is a goodlooking man, with excellent gift of the gab, the type that will make a woman drool. I wasnt in the know of how their communication shifted to dating, but it looks like the lady has interest in dating my friend. Their agreement was for her to come to Nigeria while they make arrangement toward getting married and all of that. And after some times, she will arrange for him to come to meet her in Canada.

This looks good on paper. But I have fear for my friend. We all know how Nigerian women are. If this woman has option of men in Canada, there is no way she will show interest in my friend. Ordinarily, Nigerian woman who secure job in Access bank will think of herself worthy of no man except gods because she is now independent and can take care of herself, not to talk of the one in Canada that will think herself undeserving of a man in a 3rd world country. Yeah, I have most of them as friends and this is usually their line of reasoning. Women dont date for love, they date the ones that are perceived better in look, finance and worth than them. Seems the inability to find a commited partner in Canada pushed the said lady to start making such decision. What if this man relocate and she pull the guilt card on him? Letting him realized how she brings him to canada

Well, a lot depends on your friend too. Is your friend marrying her for Canadian citizenship? Does your friend love her? Just don't be fearful for your friend also think about the lady in question. If the relationship is built on materialism they will have issues in the future unless God intervenes.

SLOVFO:


Well, a lot depends on your friend too. Is your friend marrying her for Canadian citizenship? Does your friend love her? Just don't be fearful for your friend also think about the lady in question. If the relationship is built on materialism they will have issues in the future unless God intervenes.

..

He needs to learn ... Let him get the necessary falls to be able to stand well.

Some men need to take the long road sometimes. There are lessons at every turn.

Bringing a spouse to Canada you have to sign an undertaking that you will be responsible financially for the person for 3 years. If your friend takes a student loan or car loan and refuses to pay she will be held liable. If he moves out of the house and govt has to house him they will send her the bill. She has more to lose sha. The 9ja female in Canada shakara usually ends at 35 to 37. After that they are open to even bringing an okada man from Nigeria. Your friend too doesn’t sound like a good fit or person lol. At this point for her all die na die, matches on dating apps have dried up. It is well

ednut1:
Bringing a spouse to Canada you have to sign an undertaking that you will be responsible financially for the person for 3 years. If your friend takes a student loan or car loan and refuses to pay she will be held liable. If he moves out of the house and govt has to house him they will send her the bill. She has more to lose sha. The 9ja female in Canada shakara usually ends at 35 to 37. After that they are open to even bringing an okada man from Nigeria. Your friend too doesn’t sound like a good fit or person lol. At this point for her all die na die, matches on dating apps have dried up. It is well

True. The dating pool is polluted. It's a tough world for these Young men and women nowadays. Here in the US, the story is the same. That's why I do tell them not to soil relationship back home when they're coming over here. Chances of meeting a reasonable person is rare. I've heard too many bad reports from young people and you wonder how did thing go this bad

If at 32 he can't decipher who to marry, there isn't much you can do to help him. The major issue here is that you are trying to live the life of your friend. Let him make his choice outside of you.

GboyegaD:
If at 32 he can't decipher who to marry, there isn't much you can do to help him. The major issue here is that you are trying to live the life of your friend. Let him make his choice outside of you.

when you see friend on nl. Just assume the op is the person involved

Onolulu:
My friend (32) is a single father of one in Nigeria with somewhat okay career in Nigeria. Few months ago, he hinted me about a lady he has been talking to who resides in Canada, but she is a Nigerian but now has Canadian citizen. They met online and the conversation has been decent and fruitful. The lady in question is single and she is 38yrs. According to what he told me, the lady has been in search of a partner to no avail. My friend is a goodlooking man, with excellent gift of the gab, the type that will make a woman drool. I wasnt in the know of how their communication shifted to dating, but it looks like the lady has interest in dating my friend. Their agreement was for her to come to Nigeria while they make arrangement toward getting married and all of that. And after some times, she will arrange for him to come to meet her in Canada.

This looks good on paper. But I have fear for my friend. We all know how Nigerian women are. If this woman has option of men in Canada, there is no way she will show interest in my friend. Ordinarily, Nigerian woman who secure job in Access bank will think of herself worthy of no man except gods because she is now independent and can take care of herself, not to talk of the one in Canada that will think herself undeserving of a man in a 3rd world country. Yeah, I have most of them as friends and this is usually their line of reasoning. Women dont date for love, they date the ones that are perceived better in look, finance and worth than them. Seems the inability to find a commited partner in Canada pushed the said lady to start making such decision. What if this man relocate and she pull the guilt card on him? Letting him realized how she brings him to canada

You have little to lose if you know marital laws in Canada. She has more to lose if she has tangible worth in Canada.

Just go and study divorce marital property division, spousal support and child support system in Canada.

Information is power, give yourself the power.

Your outlook is quite pessimistic, and understandably so, but as I see it, what you describe is less likely to happen because of one very strong reason, which is that she carries the burden of performance.

If a woman carries the burden of performance that is traditionally masculine, then she is truly into him. flying to Nigeria to marry him, then back to Canada to file for him, while spending a lot in the process is an expression/proof of genuine intent.

And considering her age, she is past the phase of games and playing around, which is evident by her need to settle down even if it cost her a lot. I know two cases of ladies going to Africa to import a man.

One lives in peace and are expecting their baby soon. While the other broke off, and it was the guy that left. He used her to migrate. She can't seems to recover from that yet even if it happened years ago.

If I was him, this is what I'll do. I'll go ahead if I consider her a good wife material. But I'll never loose my position of strength. I'll be hoping for the best, but prepared for the worse.

So it's either she relocate and live with me in Nigeria, or I join her in Canada while still making sure my business and establishment is still intact. To fall back on if things go bad.

Also, standing on your position of strength is a deterrence to disrespect and "see finish", because when people wants to punish you, they calculate your options/next move, to know your next step. If you're doing fine on your own, you'll hardly be forked over.

A man must not depend on a woman no matter what, never loose your position of strength. Being a Canadian should have no bearing whether she is good for a wife, but her character. To be with someone due to her citizenship is a looser mindset.

And yes, western world is a very lonely place, especially Canada. Canada is the loneliest of all. You can't pay me to live there. Canada is bigger then Nigeria x10, but Lagos and Kano has more population than Canada. It's no surprising why about 30% of new immigrants leave Canada.

People live far from each other, and it's damn boring, cold and dark. And even though it prides itself as a multicultural melting pot, it's all advertisements. People hardly mix, and different nationality stick with themselves.

ednut1:
Bringing a spouse to Canada you have to sign an undertaking that you will be responsible financially for the person for 3 years. If your friend takes a student loan or car loan and refuses to pay she will be held liable. If he moves out of the house and govt has to house him they will send her the bill. She has more to lose sha. The 9ja female in Canada shakara usually ends at 35 to 37. After that they are open to even bringing an okada man from Nigeria. Your friend too doesn’t sound like a good fit or person lol. At this point for her all die na die, matches on dating apps have dried up. It is well

LOl@Okada man. You get bad mouth.

LOL!

Nigerians and hide and seek. The friend no sabi Nairaland? He cannot use the Internet ni?

ednut1:
Bringing a spouse to Canada you have to sign an undertaking that you will be responsible financially for the person for 3 years. If your friend takes a student loan or car loan and refuses to pay she will be held liable. If he moves out of the house and govt has to house him they will send her the bill. She has more to lose sha. The 9ja female in Canada shakara usually ends at 35 to 37. After that they are open to even bringing an okada man from Nigeria. Your friend too doesn’t sound like a good fit or person lol. At this point for her all die na die, matches on dating apps have dried up. It is well

Mr Ednut and jabs

I am curious about the bold, does it apply to men, say Nigerian men in Canada who are in their mid to late 30s? Also, is it possible for a Naija man in that age range to get women as young as say 25-30? That is, a 39-year-old Naija man having options of women as young as 25-30 years who are interested in him (regardless of racial groups these women belong to)?

I ask so because unlike in Nigeria, the age gap between spouses/partners in most developed countries is not that huge due to many socio-economic factors. The question could be, why has he not been married or why does he have no partner at that age?

Gerrard59:
LOL!

Nigerians and hide and seek. The friend no sabi Nairaland? He cannot use the Internet ni?

Na the same guy, but let's just act like say we no sabi. I mean, no one knows you even if you say it's you. It's an anonymous forum after all all.

It is your friends sole decision. In fact you should let know know about your fears.

Perhaps he might opt to take certain precautions so to protect himself and his future.
Goodluck

pansophist:
Your outlook is quite pessimistic, and understandably so, but as I see it, what you describe is less likely to happen because of one very strong reason, which is that she carries the burden of performance.

If a woman carries the burden of performance that is traditionally masculine, then she is truly into him. flying to Nigeria to marry him, then back to Canada to file for him, while spending a lot in the process is an expression/proof of genuine intent.

And considering her age, she is past the phase of games and playing around, which is evident by her need to settle down even if it cost her a lot. I know two cases of ladies going to Africa to import a man.

One lives in peace and are expecting their baby soon. While the other broke off, and it was the guy that left. He used her to migrate. She can't seems to recover from that yet even if it happened years ago.

If I was him, this is what I'll do. I'll go ahead if I consider her a good wife material. But I'll never loose my position of strength. I'll be hoping for the best, but prepared for the worse.

So it's either she relocate and live with me in Nigeria, or I join her in Canada while still making sure my business and establishment is still intact. To fall back on if things go bad.

Also, standing on your position of strength is a deterrence to disrespect and "see finish", because when people wants to punish you, they calculate your options/next move, to know your next step. If you're doing fine on your own, you'll hardly be forked over.

A man must not depend on a woman no matter what, never loose your position of strength. Being a Canadian should have no bearing whether she is good for a wife, but her character. To be with someone due to her citizenship is a looser mindset.

And yes, western world is a very lonely place, especially Canada. Canada is the loneliest of all. You can't pay me to live there. Canada is bigger then Nigeria x10, but Lagos and Kano has more population than Canada. It's no surprising why about 30% of new immigrants leave Canada.

People live far from each other, and it's damn boring, cold and dark. And even though it prides itself as a multicultural melting pot, it's all advertisements. People hardly mix, and different nationality stick with themselves.

Thank you so much. This advise is useful. The person in this discussion is me. Actually I have no doubt as to her genuineness. I've spoken with most of her friends in Canada and in fact met with her sisters here in Nigeria and they all seem reasonably good people overall. I'm just scared about what how things will turn. I told her to relocate to Nigeria, not permanently, since she's a Canadian citizen, we can go there to have babies and also visit occasionally. I have the means to take perfect control here in Naija but can't say the same if I'm on Canadian soil. But still, I'm in the capacity to make full decision as she's proven to be a good woman generally

ednut1:
Bringing a spouse to Canada you have to sign an undertaking that you will be responsible financially for the person for 3 years. If your friend takes a student loan or car loan and refuses to pay she will be held liable. If he moves out of the house and govt has to house him they will send her the bill. She has more to lose sha. The 9ja female in Canada shakara usually ends at 35 to 37. After that they are open to even bringing an okada man from Nigeria. Your friend too doesn’t sound like a good fit or person lol. At this point for her all die na die, matches on dating apps have dried up. It is well

She's proven to be genuine since the time we've been talking. But yet, the way we've seen women treat men over there is a thing of concern to me. In doing reasonably well here, and can't be controlled by a woman. But nonetheless, she's a good woman or, to qualify things, she's proven to be a good one

ednut1:
when you see friend on nl. Just assume the op is the person involved

Very true

Gerrard59:


Mr Ednut and jabs

I am curious about the bold, does it apply to men, say Nigerian men in Canada who are in their mid to late 30s? Also, is it possible for a Naija man in that age range to get women as young as say 25-30? That is, a 39-year-old Naija man having options of women as young as 25-30 years who are interested in him (regardless of racial groups these women belong to)?

I ask so because unlike in Nigeria, the age gap between spouses/partners in most developed countries is not that huge due to many socio-economic factors. The question could be, why has he not been married or why does he have no partner at that age?

men are risk takers. A man at 40 will marry from Nigeria if he cant find someone in Canada. If he has his shit together and attractive he go see babe easily in Canada or 9ja. I know lots of people in the usa late 40s early 50s wey marry younger 9ja women. Some of the babes married them for papers too and continue am like that.

ednut1:
men are risk takers. A man at 40 will marry from Nigeria if he cant find someone in Canada. If he has his shit together and attractive he go see babe easily in Canada or 9ja. I know lots of people in the usa late 40s early 50s wey marry younger 9ja women. Some of the babes married them for papers too and continue am like that.

Thanks! Kpata kpata na to enter Namibia find wife. Life no suppose hard too much.

Gerrard59:


Thanks! Kpata kpata na to enter Namibia find wife. Life no suppose hard too much.

Lai Ali, you must come back home.

Stray bullet hit Access Bank female staff with their kia

this tunde guy shaaa, Okada man sef join...

ednut1:
Bringing a spouse to Canada you have to sign an undertaking that you will be responsible financially for the person for 3 years. If your friend takes a student loan or car loan and refuses to pay she will be held liable. If he moves out of the house and govt has to house him they will send her the bill. She has more to lose sha. The 9ja female in Canada shakara usually ends at 35 to 37. After that they are open to even bringing an okada man from Nigeria. Your friend too doesn’t sound like a good fit or person lol. At this point for her all die na die, matches on dating apps have dried up. It is well

Onolulu:

My friend has never loved anyone. Not even the woman that bore him a baby
..

So at 32 your friend is considering marrying a lady who is older than him by 6 years just because he wants to move to Canada?

Onolulu:


Thank you so much. This advise is useful. The person in this discussion is me. Actually I have no doubt as to her genuineness. I've spoken with most of her friends in Canada and in fact met with her sisters here in Nigeria and they all seem reasonably good people overall. I'm just scared about what how things will turn. I told her to relocate to Nigeria, not permanently, since she's a Canadian citizen, we can go there to have babies and also visit occasionally. I have the means to take perfect control here in Naija but can't say the same if I'm on Canadian soil. But still, I'm in the capacity to make full decision as she's proven to be a good woman generally

Perfect. She should come first, then you guys should move later. Because lots of diasporeans believe they are a catch because they have passport, that's nonsense.

She being a catch have everything to do with her character, not her passport. That's the ways of strong men. And even if you have your kids in Nigeria, they will still be Canadian because their mother is.

Good luck man. But as a repetition, never givr up your position of strength for the unknown. People will respect you, and your life will be sweet when you negotiate from strength, not weakness. If you're strong in Nigeria, then she has to join you there.

Onolulu:
. My friend is a goodlooking man, with excellent gift of the gab, the type that will make a woman drool.

What does this even mean?


The truth is , why your fears are genuine . It is your friend that ultimately knows what's best for him (at least at his age he should ).

You can give your advice (if he asks for it ) but don't enforce or project your fears on him. If he doesn't marry this woman and things end up going south for him in the future , believe me he'll always curse you for the advice you gave him.