Skybleu: Please if anybody can help me with any little amount to eat I will be very happy. Feeding is a big problem for me and my family please no matter how small. I havent eaten anything since yesterday in the morning pls. My dad is a retired teacher and my mom is late. Am a single mother with my own son mouth to feed, the little money i make have use it to cater for my dad illness and pay house rent but his health is getting worst. Now we can't even eat or buy water to drink. Please if you're reading this message pls come to our aid, no matter how small it will go a long way pls. May God meet you at the point of your need as you have show us mercy amen Faith Acct num:
in my workd you got a wrong mindset when it comes to raising kids
there is nothing called Sacrifice when it comes to raising your own children, its your duty both by nature and law, you can not sacrifice on something you are meant to be doing aka raising your own kids
the only people who deserve to use that word is those looking after othet people's kids yes they sacrifice there time and money becoz it wasnt there responsiblility
Kids are not investment why becoz they can have their own mind, your money and properties are the right investment they can never have their own mind hence they will work according to your wish
Saying parents sacrificed is like giving yourself a medal for breathing, if you want to live you must breath so u can not give yoself a medal
Same with kids we bear, its our duty and responsibility no one else so dont congrats your self for something you are meant to be doing
the moment we accept that it is our duty to look after we children the better we dont see them as investments but just raising a human being and hoping that they will be better than you in achievement
We are poor becoz we confuse investment and responsibility of raising children. The two are totally different but most africans make them one thing
what If all your kids die before you? when u viewed them as investment, a property will look after same with shares etc
Having the mindset of investment is wrong you will end up thinking that you are doing a favour to your children when in reality it is actually your duty and no one else
Beautiful thoughts. Training children is not an investment or sacrifice.
I have a 3 siblings and I am at odds with my eldest who is a lady. The way it is, I may She went abroad for her masters with my parents supporting with half-payment. Unfortunately, whenever it came to family demands and helping the other younger siblings, she has either been negligent or grudgingly does so.
Few years after going abroad, she decided to lockup and sends only 40k home which is supposed to cater for food for a month. Now parents are retired, the whole family weight falls on my following
My other siblings say because we all refuse to be dictated to by her is the reason for her behaviour. I don't care. Mine is that if you know that you are going to be useless to a family, let your parents know before hand so the money used in training/feeding you can be used for farming business which will despite bad weather bring returns than on a child who feels is not obligated to support the parents who supported you all through.
Most first Born are like that same with my own elder brother they are so competitive and they are the one's who want to be rivals. Don't mind just do the best for your family and collect the blessings na why Dem bless Jacob for Bible.
Beautiful thoughts. Training children is not an investment or sacrifice.
its sad sometimes our poverty is man made by our mindset and becames a vicious cycle, were half of your money is going to look after the old while the reminder looks after you and your children, meaning you kids are most likely to end up like you the vicious cycles continues
If we learn to invest in our own retirement our children would be also able to focus on raising their own kids to their full potentials, without worrying about the old folks
Yes i understand that in africa things like pension etc can be tricky but lets not wait for company you work for to do pension scheme for yo, u do your own, same with those who are self employed tax yourself yo own pension
You have a point but the will is the most important thing.
I know a lady who was British by birth but lived in Nigeria until she was in her 20s. Their father had abandoned her and her 4 siblings when they were still young. The youngest was still in the mum's belly.
This lady travelled in her 20s and worked hard to bring all her siblings to join her. Eventually, all were abroad, including their mum.
I have travelled to the UK. I see many Nigerians working as security guards and our women as nurses. Many are also doing white collar jobs.
Her you trying to say after 5 years she won't have known how to thrive in Canada? What skills to learn that will bring in money? My younger brother is a nurse in the US and earns over $100k a year.
Gloriagee: How bad can she be doing to be sending 40k? Unless she has a drug habit or shopping addiction, she can definitely do better...
Well, we move! That's my approach to life. I have zero expectations and that's putting it mildly. Just remove her from your mind and please don't wish her bad. Take care
1 we invest in wrong things kids must be raised not invested in as returns
2 we should learn that raising your own kids is must, not favour or sacrifice
3 learn to invest in things that return your own money over time, not a human being that can change its mind, here we talk of properties and shares etc
4 If you raise them well there will be there for you but if you raise them using the words i sacrificed for you or as if you are doing them a favour they might not like you in the end becoz they didnt ask to be born
You people should have online meeting or zoom meeting to discuss how you people should finance your parents health and old age expenses. It is thru this way you people will know her grudges, grievance and anger for her little or no contribution.
You people should give her fair hearing to explain herself.
in my workd you got a wrong mindset when it comes to raising kids
there is nothing called Sacrifice when it comes to raising your own children, its your duty both by nature and law, you can not sacrifice on something you are meant to be doing aka raising your own kids
the only people who deserve to use that word is those looking after othet people's kids yes they sacrifice there time and money becoz it wasnt there responsiblility
Kids are not investment why becoz they can have their own mind, your money and properties are the right investment they can never have their own mind hence they will work according to your wish
Saying parents sacrificed is like giving yourself a medal for breathing, if you want to live you must breath so u can not give yoself a medal
Same with kids we bear, its our duty and responsibility no one else so dont congrats your self for something you are meant to be doing
the moment we accept that it is our duty to look after we children the better we dont see them as investments but just raising a human being and hoping that they will be better than you in achievement
We are poor becoz we confuse investment and responsibility of raising children. The two are totally different but most africans make them one thing
what If all your kids die before you? when u viewed them as investment, a property will look after you same with shares etc
Having the mindset of investment is wrong you will end up thinking that you are doing a favour to your children when in reality it is actually your duty and no one else
Here, in Africa and some Asian countries, it's our duty to take care of our old parents. In the Western world, they have care homes for aged people but we don't have it here. Even in the west, the rich don't put their parents in care homes. They hire nannies for them and make sure they are properly taking care of.
In summary, children na investment too. The joy of every parent is to see their children become successful.
Here, in Africa and some Asian countries, it's our duty to take care of our old parents. In the Western world, they have care homes for aged people but we don't have it here. Even in the west, the rich don't put their parents in care homes. They hire nannies for them and make sure they are properly taking care of.
In summary, children na investment too. The joy of every parent is to see their children become successful.
you missed my point, i dont dispute looking after old parents, the point is how we look after them, the active working young look after them from social to finance in stead of socially meaning the old parents would have saved pension money via different means to use it in their old age
In western world there are put in homes for two reasons 1 money is there for them to be looked after while in their 2 the young ones also need to work for both their own achievements eg houses and also their own money for pension
In western world eg wife was working and family income was double and mortage was calculated to be finished in 17 years due to both income from wife and hubby. The monent she stops working to look after her old mum, it will affectet the money towards mortagage meaning it will take longer to finish the mortagage and pension
In africa and asia we look after our old parents due to our social dynamics were wives are given the primary role due to most being house wives and also women not having equal opportunies to be career women
CosmicDust: Thanks for the messages. I am sharing my story here is to air out a piece of my mind and also I believe many people also do have stories of sibling rivalries. For those who told me to call and discuss issues with, anytime I do that is a reason for a fight. Infact I have been exhaustive on that. She has left the family whatsapp group and claims we all use it to extort her. 2 of us are doing well for ourselves. You say she sends $55 each month? Bro and you’re ranting ba Who told you all is gold over there? Do you know what she earns, expenses etc ? You need to be grateful for the little before you push her into depression because as a lady they’re not that smart like men that will look for more than one work or maybe you want to push her into prostitution
Even if I dey wipe nyansh for Canada, e no go reach situation wey I no fit send at least $150 back home to my parents. This girl sends 40k. $55 a month for your parents that trained you. That is unthinkable.
You took the word out of my mouth.... OP will be shocke to discover he is actually doing better here in Nigeria than the so called sister living abroad...
I have a 3 siblings and I am at odds with my eldest who is a lady. The way it is, I may never have a conversation with her again.
She was the first person to be invested in by my parents after which I came. Luckily enough, she was able to strike gold in her career and do well for herself. She went abroad for her masters with my parents supporting with half-payment. Unfortunately, whenever it came to family demands and helping the other younger siblings, she has either been negligent or grudgingly does so.
Few years after going abroad, she decided to lockup and sends only 40k home which is supposed to cater for food for a month. Now parents are retired, the whole family weight falls on my following sibling and I. The youngest one education is on me. Happy she will finish soon. Parents need to be supported in challenging times, one is coping with diabetes and the other is with some challenging issues I can't say here. Their savings are being sapped by their needs to keep living on.
But my so-called elder sister based in Canada despite knowing their condition is silent. She still sends her peanuts, while I and my younger brother who is an upcoming fashion designer do 2X what she does. This aches our parents and sometimes makes our mother cry and our father rant with regret.
A time now came, our mum got admitted in the hospital. Condition was so salient that she had to be hospitalized for weeks. Hospital bill was 450k. The Canada-based first born doing a good job, who was always talking to her, praying with her on phone, etc only sent 100k. We the others did the rest. Glad mum is back at home but her heart is broken and has refused to talk with her. She's been in Canada for 5 years and has refused to even support any of her siblings to come abroad too.
My other siblings say because we all refuse to be dictated to by her is the reason for her behaviour. I don't care. Mine is that if you know that you are going to be useless to a family, let your parents know before hand so the money used in training/feeding you can be used for farming business which will despite bad weather bring returns than on a child who feels is not obligated to support the parents who supported you all through.
All i can see here is an entitled prick of a person. What makes you think she has a good job as you say she does. What also makes you think that she is paid well, as you think? Did you ask how she pays her bills and who she has to run to when she has issues of her own? Why do you think its okay to come here complainimg of your elder sister who is atleast sending something back for your feeding. Habe you seen her payslip to know how much she earns monthly? Do you know if the money she makes monthly is enough for her own monthly expenses? You people in nigeria need to stop having this mentality that people abroad are fine. Very few are doing really fine. Some people make over 12m equivalent in naira and its not enough, if that person has their own family what shpuld they now do? Mind you, your bills do not wait for you abroad, you have to pay it and pay it on time otherwise you get interest on those bills. If she was not even bringing any money in the first place, then its a topic for another day. Please and please!, never feel entitled to another persons money and never assume that anyone owes you anything. Are you not a man? Should you not be making your own money despite all odds? You lots are sickening. I tell you!
We have this notion that when someone travels abroad, stays for sometime, they're doing well, how?
Infact, working abroad is more difficult than working here. The difference is the environment and policies. The bills and tax alone is killing... With your story, so, you think your sister will be very rich and not want to help? Have you taking out time to speak with her about possible challenges she's facing and how to help out? When do you guys speak with her, maybe, monthly when she's expected to send money home... This is just me thinking!
I grew up amongst 6 friends, 4 now stays in Europe for over 5yrs now. They're still struggling. When I lost my dad in 2016, I didn't even inform them. They got to know from their own parents, yet we talk regularly. They had to put up something to send down. It was less than 50k and I really Appreciated it
Sometimes, we need to understand the real situation of things... She might be going through a lot
There is this thing in Canada base that I don't understand. Extremely stingy. Unlike those base in USA Canada base pple are very stingy
I don't know whether it is the country they find themselves or what
My uncle whom my dad fed and sent to Canada since 2000 is there, owns a mighty hospital but extremely stingy and doesn't send anyone, even when my dad died man didn't send anything and we don't even bother to talk to him or take his calls. I was just 8yrs when he left, he was my godfather, I don't even remember what he looks like again and nobody has his phone number cos he is useless.
My friend's cousins about 5 of them are in Canada very stingy and useless, I have some business partners in Canada also very stingy and useless.
But the ones I know in USA are free and liberal. Maybe it's how the system is in Canada.
galantjoe: You people should have online meeting or zoom meeting to discuss how you people should finance your parents health and old age expenses. It is thru this way you people will know her grudges, grievance and anger for her little or no contribution.
You people should give her fair hearing to explain herself.
Exactly my thought.
As I am I don't give a Bleep about what anyone earns. Just keep whatever billions u have to yourself but you see your responsibility to our parents u must bring your share
Gloriagee: How bad can she be doing to be sending 40k? Unless she has a drug habit or shopping addiction, she can definitely do better...
Well, we move! That's my approach to life. I have zero expectations and that's putting it mildly. Just remove her from your mind and please don't wish her bad. Take care
How much do you give your own parents? Lets start from there.
Thank you o See how op dey reason like bush man. That if his sister knows she won’t help then they could have channeled the money elsewhere. Very stupid reasoning. Did she bring herself to the world. If you use clear eye to have sex that you know the consequences is a baby. You should know that part of the consequences is to Chanel part of your resources to make the child grow into an adult. The child owes u nothing not even a thank
That means if your parents need money for health issues and you are the only child to help, na die they don die. Tufiakwa for useless pikin like you.
Moonraker007: There are 2 sides to a story. Secondly, y'all are soul deep in your entitlement mentality.. Have you ever wondered how she is surviving especially bills.. Your entitlement mentality is eating you deep. SHE OWES YOU NOTHING.. It is even shameful to use the word invest for your parents training her.. A parent trains their child out of true love not investing. You sound really pathetic and need to snap out of it before it ruins you. Let God bless you for all your commitments to the family not this trash talk. Do you think if you stop talking to her she will not continue to exist. WAKE UP MY FRIEND
Are you retarded? Did you see me asking to be a beneficiary. Please when your loved ones need help, extend your hand of wickedness.
You should be grateful that you have a sis who sends 40k per month,sometimes sends money for hospital bills,for me,I have a brother,who stay in US,he calls my dad once in a while to send him money,he hardly come home and when he do,my dad will be the one to pay for his flight back to US,cus if dad doesn’t give him money,nobody will rest in this house,over 30 years in the United States,nothing to show for it….my brother be grateful,manage the little she sends and take care of ur family…moreover if nah land dem Dey share,nah you go get more of the land…so smile and move on.
Lol. If i hustle well i make 40k in 2-3 days on uber. She can keep the money.
Trojan8: Every comments that does not support what you said about your sister is either ignored or attacked. You claim she consistently send 40k every month, how much do you give your parents every month?
She may be stingy but the way you feel entitled is making me laugh. No where in your post did you try to find out her living conditions there.
Are you a dumbass. Didn't you read my contribution. This is about helping the parents. May your children never help you as you support such ill.
All i can see here is an entitled prick of a person. What makes you think she has a good job as you say she does. What also makes you think that she is paid well, as you think? Did you ask how she pays her bills and who she has to run to when she has issues of her own? Why do you think its okay to come here complainimg of your elder sister who is atleast sending something back for your feeding. Habe you seen her payslip to know how much she earns monthly? Do you know if the money she makes monthly is enough for her own monthly expenses? You people in nigeria need to stop having this mentality that people abroad are fine. Very few are doing really fine. Some people make over 12m equivalent in naira and its not enough, if that person has their own family what shpuld they now do? Mind you, your bills do not wait for you abroad, you have to pay it and pay it on time otherwise you get interest on those bills. If she was not even bringing any money in the first place, then its a topic for another day. Please and please!, never feel entitled to another persons money and never assume that anyone owes you anything. Are you not a man? Should you not be making your own money despite all odds? You lots are sickening. I tell you!
A fool like you will not help your parents but will gladly contribute to their funeral expenses. You are a phelgm. Hope this foolish comment can be leaked to your loved ones so they know the nature of your heart. If you call me entitled again, thunder will fire you. Did you read me saying i am the beneficiary?
in my work you got a wrong mindset when it comes to raising kids
there is nothing called Sacrifice when it comes to raising your own children, its your duty both by nature and law, you can not sacrifice on something you are meant to be doing aka raising your own kids
the only people who deserve to use that word is those looking after othet people's kids yes they sacrifice there time and money becoz it wasnt there responsiblility
Kids are not investment why becoz they can have their own mind, your money and properties are the right investment they can never have their own mind hence they will work according to your wish
Saying parents sacrificed is like giving yourself a medal for breathing, if you want to live you must breath so u can not give yoself a medal
Same with kids we bear, its our duty and responsibility no one else so dont congrats your self for something you are meant to be doing
the moment we accept that it is our duty to look after we children the better we dont see them as investments but just raising a human being and hoping that they will be better than you in achievement
We are poor becoz we confuse investment and responsibility of raising children. The two are totally different but most africans make them one thing
what If all your kids die before you? when u viewed them as investment, a property will look after you same with shares etc
Having the mindset of investment is wrong you will end up thinking that you are doing a favour to your children when in reality it is actually your duty and no one else
I disagree with this
Going by your analogy, the responsibility of every parent stops at ensuring their offspring survive (just like other animals) i.e, the parent is only expected to provide you with basic neccessities of life (food, water and shelter), until you reach a certain age (most likely 12 (puberty)) when you can fend for your self.
Any parent that goes beyond this bare minimum i.e., provide for your education formally or informally, feeding after the age of 12, attend to any of your need after the age of 12, etc has made a sacrifice and this sacrifice should be recognised
Going by your analogy, the responsibility of every parent stops at ensuring their offspring survive (just like other animals) i.e, the parent is only expected to provide you with basic neccessities of life (food, water and shelter), until you reach a certain age (most likely 12 (puberty)) when you can fend for your self.
Any parent that goes beyond this bare minimum i.e., provide for your education formally or informally, feeding after the age of 12, attend to any of your need after the age of 12, etc has made a sacrifice and this sacrifice should be recognised
You read in a hurry i said by Nature and Law
eg Nature, the fact that its your child naturally you protect
eg Law you are responsible for child until they reach 18, 18 an age one can be employed as adult meaning one can feed and shelter themself if one is working
CosmicDust: Thanks for the messages. I am sharing my story here is to air out a piece of my mind and also I believe many people also do have stories of sibling rivalries. For those who told me to call and discuss issues with, anytime I do that is a reason for a fight. Infact I have been exhaustive on that. She has left the family whatsapp group and claims we all use it to extort her. 2 of us are doing well for ourselves.
Even if I dey wipe nyansh for Canada, e no go reach situation wey I no fit send at least $150 back home to my parents. This girl sends 40k. $55 a month for your parents that trained you. That is unthinkable.
For her to leave the group, she is not yet doing very well yet.
