FireUpNow:
If the said jobless man should tell the woman to leave then go marry another man she won't accept it. OP how was the man doing before he got married to her? Some women can kill a man's zeal for life

You're somehow right anyway, but not getting up to provide for himself too is way out of it

SalamRushdie:


Please go and cheat lets rest , any small things y'all start threatening with cheating, is your Vagina a transaction?

How is the man not providing related to cheating? Everything for women is vagina...

Akalia:
Any woman that would loose respect for her husband just because he ain't able to provide due to circumstances beyond his control is an unfortunate bitch that does not deserve that man.

In Western climes men and women in marriage hustle alike and pull resources together to run a home but here in Africa everything as per pecuniary burden is on only the man's should.This is generally true with a minute exceptions here and there.

This is a different sineros.

Darlingme:
Are you for real? Have some men lower their self pride to this extent?

Funny...

So married women who want to go out to collect prick have a lot of self-pride. But men who don't care what these women do with their nunu are the ones with no self-pride.

This logic is not logikking...

Oyerinde16:


I pity this situation o... But I remember when I left a good job, I became jobless yet had to provide... The available jobs were hotel, 25k teaching 25k driving Keke 35k marketing 45k I got one job as a loan marketer 60k, I resumed n left after 2weeks, I was to walk corner to corner giving and retrieving loans with interest as at when due... I heard stories of co workers not earning full salaries due to deductions, incomplete money bla bla bla... I looked at the outfit n dressing of co workers, those I was to work with, faded cloths, stiched cloths, I just left the job... I spent all my savings within 6 months no good job, I started doing bolt/Uber, this was pretty lucrative cos it was my car, I was my own boss, I worked whenever I wanted, but it wasn't really for me, it began to tell on my car, I knew what I wanted... I wanted to create a good job for myself n employ people I would pay well... But where was the capital, I kept on waiting while my wife was saying I should just take any job, all she was concerned about was just provide not minding the mental state of the man... Just provide... She wasn't working, I provided all just that it wasn't as much as when I was working ... I told her to get a job to support, she said I knew she wasnt working before I married her, so I should work n provide, she said it was the job of the husband to provide... I even became weaker...

I support what someone said up there, give the man a job with a good pay, if he refuses, then flog him, but if you can't assist him with a good job, not minding what he is going through, just shut up... Men are people's children as well someone's daughter (liability) should not come n use marriage to kill him in the name of men are wired to provide...

I'm sorry to say this. But your wife was just mean and non considerate. This is a different situation

Darlingme:
You're somehow right anyway, but not getting up to provide for himself too is way out of it

We need to hear from the man because maybe he has tried getting something to do but the wife is against it. I have seen a man who was doing well before and after he lost the job the man went to do Factory work. The wife was against it, it brought serious problem to the family. So I can't just blame the man, I want to hear from him

SalamRushdie:

Please go and cheat lets rest , any small things y'all start threatening with cheating, is your Vagina a transaction?

I gave the OP the same idea... Is it not just to go and collect prick? She should go, and even collect big one...

Zee0007:
Let them give him a job with a handsome pay check. If he rejects it, then we can conclude that he needs to be flogged.

Do you know what you're saying ‽ Who are the 'them' that would give him that job?

Wodu89:
His spirit is dead inside. He needs motivation. I've met several people in this situation during my counselling sessions. The work of men is extremely hard, and it goes deeply beyond hardworking or being lazy. It goes deeper than the soul into the spirit.

What I can advice the woman is to take what he needs to him to revive his spirit.

In such a case, preachings that can revive his spirit and soul. She should be playing very good scripture based teachings at home to revive his spirit.

He's dead internally and revival can't take place if there's nothing to bring him back to life.


Ezekiel 37:13-15



If he listens to good preachings at home for sic months, he'll find his lost zeal.

You are either a psychologist or a good pastor. A lot of men die internally with no one helping to light up there candle again, I don't know what causes it but someone must help you in that situation

Nice2023:



Let me give u am example.
There was a time my younger brothers friend followed me and he was to drop at a junction before mine.

In the course of our discussion,he told me he was planning to marry,and me being me,I advised him never to marry a woman that is not doing anything at all because the guy works in place that has great future.
I wasn't surprised he told my brother everything which he too advised him further never to try it.

Do u know this guy married a liability,I mean a non contributing wife,his income has depleted badly that,he now beg and live basically on loan,just immediately his wife gave birth.

If u go to his house,he would be begging u for money because he got it all wrong. There were girls in his level and those above his level In the office but he left there and got hooked with a liability...now his father that depends him can no longer get anything from him anymore and i heard that his father is very angry.

What a life.

The father was a liability in the first place but a man who cannot feed a liability cannot stand. Children in the infant stage are liabilities... Practice makes perfect. Everyman should make enough dough to feed at least 10 liabilities that's the bitter truth if not you can't stand

Darlingme:
Honestly things are really getting crazy with the nature of story that spring forth everyday. I was in counseling session with a woman days ago and I lack what to adviced.

What can you advise in a situation where the husband refused to go out to get a job nor engage in any form of business or do anything to provide for his home? He always complain and turn down any job suggestion from his wife, thereby watching her do all the struggles all alone?
He stays back at home and wait for what his wife's beings?
What kind of situation is this?
Are they men out there who really practice this kind of lifestyle?
What would you advise such a wife?
Is this enough reason for a woman to cheat?

He must be a nairaland man.

IamMobisola:
Sad story but not a new thing. What we believe or see online about marriages are lies. Many married women are the breadwinners of their home. See lots of married men in newspaper stands early in the morning, arguing and giving takes about politics. Pass by bars during the day and see same. Lots of these wives take the financial burden of the family upon their heads just to cover shame on their husbands.

But social media won’t tell you this. “Nigerian women are liabilities” is what social media will keep telling the world.

98% of the men who scream that line are 100% of the most worthless ones with lungs.

DIVAD2000:


How many organizations in the society are there to empower men unlike the economic organizations that empower women specifically.

This is one of the disadvantages

If men are empowered this issue won't be occurring

Why do men need empowerment? Didn't they build the world anymore? Are they no longer men?

Darlingme:
The location is Abuja. If you're serious about helping, I can link you up with his wife then she can bring in her husband

Do u know area of specialization or profession?
The jobs are in Delta or Anambra

HussenAdul:

Do u know area of specialization or profession?
The jobs are in Delta or Anambra

I have no idea. But I can ask

Darlingme:
Pity in what contex?

I hate monsters and no matter what my experience in life, I will never treat a woman bad, especially as I have girls, but these days, when I read about men being monsters to their women, my first instinct blames the woman.

That feel is as a result of what I am going through.

oliverwrites:
I hate monsters and no matter what my experience in life, I will never treat a woman bad, especially as I have girls, but these days, when I read about men being monsters to their women, my first instinct blames the woman.

That feel is as a result of what I am going through.

Whatever you're going through, take it easy. Life is short.

Darlingme:
But you said the State. Your sisters who stayed back in Nigeria, do you still advice them to do what you wrote up there?

Sure, you choose the kinda life you wanna live and I'll respect that

Darlingme:
Honestly things are really getting crazy with the nature of story that spring forth everyday. I was in counseling session with a woman days ago and I lack what to adviced.

What can you advise in a situation where the husband refused to go out to get a job nor engage in any form of business or do anything to provide for his home? He always complain and turn down any job suggestion from his wife, thereby watching her do all the struggles all alone?
He stays back at home and wait for what his wife's beings?
What kind of situation is this?
Are they men out there who really practice this kind of lifestyle?
What would you advise such a wife?
Is this enough reason for a woman to cheat?

Women do this too.. The wife should react same way she would have loved to be treated if tables were turned..

Taylor90:


Do you know that it’s the responsibility of the brides family to pay for wedding expenses?

They’re just scamming us

This is not true for most African cultures.... The fact you saw it online doesn't mean it is a general practice. In my place the groom's dad is responsible for all the wedding expenses

Darlingme:
When there's hunger in the house. What is he overseeing?

Read well. Everyone must work.

Darlingme:
Honestly things are really getting crazy with the nature of story that spring forth everyday. I was in counseling session with a woman days ago and I lack what to adviced.

What can you advise in a situation where the husband refused to go out to get a job nor engage in any form of business or do anything to provide for his home? He always complain and turn down any job suggestion from his wife, thereby watching her do all the struggles all alone?
He stays back at home and wait for what his wife's beings?
What kind of situation is this?
Are they men out there who really practice this kind of lifestyle?
What would you advise such a wife?
Is this enough reason for a woman to cheat?

Cheating doesn't solve this kind of problem

If you can't tolerate such bad attitude which places him as a lazy man

Ignore him and continue to run uoir home and face your children

If he dares raises his hand on you or give you any verbal abuse, just separate from him and move on with your life

By the time he can't fend for himself he will dust his shoes

Darlingme:
Honestly things are really getting crazy with the nature of story that spring forth everyday. I was in counseling session with a woman days ago and I lack what to adviced.

What can you advise in a situation where the husband refused to go out to get a job nor engage in any form of business or do anything to provide for his home? He always complain and turn down any job suggestion from his wife, thereby watching her do all the struggles all alone?
He stays back at home and wait for what his wife's beings?
What kind of situation is this?
Are they men out there who really practice this kind of lifestyle?
What would you advise such a wife?
Is this enough reason for a woman to cheat?

Is enough reason to dump his sorry ass, he's an entitled and deadbeat father/husband.

I watched a film where I received the shock of my life from this quote "love the woman you marry" the truth of the matter is that in life we may not necessarily marry the person we love but if we follow that quote the victim you refer to could have marry someone at his level to raise his status

Nice2023:



Let me give u am example.
There was a time my younger brothers friend followed me and he was to drop at a junction before mine.

In the course of our discussion,he told me he was planning to marry,and me being me,I advised him never to marry a woman that is not doing anything at all because the guy works in place that has great future.
I wasn't surprised he told my brother everything which he too advised him further never to try it.

Do u know this guy married a liability,I mean a non contributing wife,his income has depleted badly that,he now beg and live basically on loan,just immediately his wife gave birth.

If u go to his house,he would be begging u for money because he got it all wrong. There were girls in his level and those above his level In the office but he left there and got hooked with a liability...now his father that depends him can no longer get anything from him anymore and i heard that his father is very angry.

What a life.

Darlingme:
Honestly things are really getting crazy with the nature of story that spring forth everyday. I was in counseling session with a woman days ago and I lack what to adviced.

What can you advise in a situation where the husband refused to go out to get a job nor engage in any form of business or do anything to provide for his home? He always complain and turn down any job suggestion from his wife, thereby watching her do all the struggles all alone?
He stays back at home and wait for what his wife's beings?
What kind of situation is this?
Are they men out there who really practice this kind of lifestyle?
What would you advise such a wife?
Is this enough reason for a woman to cheat?

Except she has forgotten her vow: for better for worse. Sorry i dont have any advice. It's her cross to carry.

Darlingme:
Honestly things are really getting crazy with the nature of story that spring forth everyday. I was in counseling session with a woman days ago and I lack what to adviced.

What can you advise in a situation where the husband refused to go out to get a job nor engage in any form of business or do anything to provide for his home? He always complain and turn down any job suggestion from his wife, thereby watching her do all the struggles all alone?
He stays back at home and wait for what his wife's beings?
What kind of situation is this?
Are they men out there who really practice this kind of lifestyle?
What would you advise such a wife?
Is this enough reason for a woman to cheat?

Women are always vindictive in life. Most men are sole breadwinner in the family and no one complains. If a woman does the same it is no crime. Shikina

Darlingme:
Oh. You don't know before?

It doesn't matter, what matters most now is that you've finally confessed it

Darlingme:
Pls, it's a serious issue here. Men are wired to be in charge. That's how God made it. When you reverse it, it's against God's original plan and it doesn't always go well.

He needs motivation and prayer's and let his pride down and work....Most women of this generation only loves white collar men but blue collar are treated with disdain and disrespect....job system globally are being automated and it's going to get worse with time .....
They're trying to eliminate the system of me going to an office job and replace it with more women who can just do some task on computer and get all the job done ...
Reasons we are having less jobs for graduate especially.....
It's not easy for a man in Nigeria infact kudos to them ... it's easier for a woman to get a office job than for a man now every where in the world ...
Like I said motivate him and respect every of his efforts

Darlingme:
I have no idea. But I can ask

U said u were in a counseling session with her, meaning she reported their issues to u for help (husband's joblessness & job rejections).
As a Guardian Councillor one of ur basic questions b4 going public would have been:
1). What was the husband's occupation/profession.
2). Why was he out of job.
3). Why did refused to accept new job offers

FOJEM:

Is the wife sick, that she cannot work to also provide for the family? Let me ask you, who benefits more from the children when they become successful in future?
Any man who kills himself trying to provide for the family must be a fool. The day he dies, the wife starts having sex with other men on their so-called matrimonial bed!

Darlingme:
Pls, it's a serious issue here. Men are wired to be in charge. That's how God made it. When you reverse it, it's against God's original plan and it doesn't always go well.

If men were indeed "wired" as you claim then you wouldn't find men who are able to go against this programming, would you? It is women who refuse to accept the reality of things that get hit the hardest.

And please stop dragging the mentions of God into what is foolishness. He never did nor said any of what you claim, so you have no reason to mention him.

Kobojunkie:
If men were indeed "wired" as you claim then you wouldn't find men who are able to go against this programming, would you? It is women who refuse to accept the reality of things that get hit the hardest.

And please stop dragging the mentions of God into what is foolishness. He never did or did any of what you claim, so you have no reason to mention him.

How? You have a problem with the name ''God''?