So Imam (may Allaah preserve him upon goodness) continued his series of sermons on how to build working Islamic homes, may Allaah reward him abundantly.

If my memory serves me well, the Imam explained two major factors that bring about marital discord;

🎯 Absence of love in marriage
🎯 An Nushooz (Ill-conduct)

The Imam stated one of the causes of Marital Discord is sudden and continuous absence of love in marriage.

A man may just develop an intense dislike for his wife and vice versa, perhaps due to staying long period in marriage or other reasons such as stinginess on the part of husband, etc.

This point buttresses my stance that love wanes in Marriage, it could hardly be the sole reason that sustains marriage nor make it to thrive!

Then, he explained how to manage absence of love in marriage.

He quoted a verse of Quran where Allaah guides us on what to do in that circumstance.

Allaah says:

"And live with them (women) honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allaah brings through it a great deal of good." [al-Nisa 4:19]

Also, he cited the Hadith of Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) where he said:

"No believing man should hate a believing woman: if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will like another."

His advice could also be corroborated with athar from Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him)

‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said to a man who wanted to divorce his wife: Why do you want to divorce her?

He said: I do not love her.
He said: Are all families based on love only?
What about care and decency?

(‘Uyuun al-Akhbaar, 3/18).

The Imam said many women are in marriage not necessarily because of love.

He implored us men not to hastily opt for divorce whenever we perceive there's an absence of love in our marriages.

He urged us to keep these women in marriage even when the love is waned.

He said doing so will earn us great reward for implementing the verse of Quran quoted above and it may enable us to realize a great deal of good eventually!

Also, he mentioned how a wife can address absence of love in marriage as well most especially if she perceived this from her husband;

The wife should address this by having genuine communication with her husband and she may choose to drop some of her rights to address the issue as well.

The Imam (may Allaah reward him abundantly) mentioned the story of our mother Sawdah (may Allaah be pleased with her) with our noble Prophet Muhammad (may Allaah peace and blessings be upon him) who forsook her right and bequeathed it to the most beloved wife of the Prophet, Aishah (may Allaah be pleased with her).

Thereafter, our Imam moved on to the second causes of marital discord; An Nushooz (Ill-conduct)

He succinctly defined an Nushooz as a situation where each spouse fails to uphold each other rights in marriage.

Then, he explained to us how to tackle this ill-conduct in steps; the husband has to do the following to address an Nushooz.

📌 Admonition first. The husband should tactfully give admonish his wife, explain things to her properly and encourage her to uphold her duties towards him.

📌 Forsaking her on bed, by turning his back on her in bed. And tactfully reject her advances in bed to let her realise her ill-conduct and turn a new leaf.

He emphasized sleeping with her on the same bed but turning your back to her, you don't necessarily need to go and sleep in parlour on a couch or whatever.

Then, my mind was telling me that such a husband may need something to tidy up the powerhouse in order not to loose guard.

Women are great charmers or enchanters ever created, they have that magical powers to make a man loose guard.

📌 Thereafter, the Imam mentioned the last option to address an Nushooz which is hitting in a manner that is not painful.

He said Ibn Abbass mentioned hitting with something as light as checking stick.

The Imam mentioned that this hitting shouldn't be done in the children presence and not to beat her black and blue as it's rampant in our society.

He mentioned that he isn't among the righteous (best of us) the one who beats his wife.

Here are lessons from yesterday's Friday's Khutbah compiled by Ismaeel Akintayo Owolabi

I will like to read from you too, what did you gain from yesterday's Khutbah.

Jayyid.

It depends on who you follow.
If you are a moslem, then the quoran authorizes beating your wife.

Qur'an 4:34
"Men are the maintainers of women because
Allah has made some of them to
.....BEAT THEM

While the bible says Love ur wife

Eph 5:33
let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself

So it depends on who you follow

Nice one,,am going thru a lot in my marriage now because of money..May Allah make it easy for me

Jazakallah

Life is dynamic and never static so there's no known solution to fixing issues relating to operation and functionality of life. What works for this person isn't a guarantee that it will work for the other person and that is why even the Imam preaching will find himself in situations he is preaching about but still fall short of it

akinsmail51:
So Imam (may Allaah preserve him upon goodness) continued his series of sermons on how to build working Islamic homes, may Allaah reward him abundantly.

If my memory serves me well, the Imam explained two major factors that bring about marital discord;

🎯 Absence of love in marriage
🎯 An Nushooz (Ill-conduct)

The Imam stated one of the causes of Marital Discord is sudden and continuous absence of love in marriage.

A man may just develop an intense dislike for his wife and vice versa, perhaps due to staying long period in marriage or other reasons such as stinginess on the part of husband, etc.

This point buttresses my stance that love wanes in Marriage, it could hardly be the sole reason that sustains marriage nor make it to thrive!

Then, he explained how to manage absence of love in marriage.

He quoted a verse of Quran where Allaah guides us on what to do in that circumstance.

Allaah says:

"And live with them (women) honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allaah brings through it a great deal of good." [al-Nisa 4:19]

Also, he cited the Hadith of Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) where he said:

"No believing man should hate a believing woman: if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will like another."

His advice could also be corroborated with athar from Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him)

‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said to a man who wanted to divorce his wife: Why do you want to divorce her?

He said: I do not love her.
He said: Are all families based on love only?
What about care and decency?

(‘Uyuun al-Akhbaar, 3/18).

The Imam said many women are in marriage not necessarily because of love.

He implored us men not to hastily opt for divorce whenever we perceive there's an absence of love in our marriages.

He urged us to keep these women in marriage even when the love is waned.

He said doing so will earn us great reward for implementing the verse of Quran quoted above and it may enable us to realize a great deal of good eventually!

Also, he mentioned how a wife can address absence of love in marriage as well most especially if she perceived this from her husband;

The wife should address this by having genuine communication with her husband and she may choose to drop some of her rights to address the issue as well.

The Imam (may Allaah reward him abundantly) mentioned the story of our mother Sawdah (may Allaah be pleased with her) with our noble Prophet Muhammad (may Allaah peace and blessings be upon him) who forsook her right and bequeathed it to the most beloved wife of the Prophet, Aishah (may Allaah be pleased with her).

Thereafter, our Imam moved on to the second causes of marital discord; An Nushooz (Ill-conduct)

He succinctly defined an Nushooz as a situation where each spouse fails to uphold each other rights in marriage.

Then, he explained to us how to tackle this ill-conduct in steps; the husband has to do the following to address an Nushooz.

📌 Admonition first. The husband should tactfully give admonish his wife, explain things to her properly and encourage her to uphold her duties towards him.

📌 Forsaking her on bed, by turning his back on her in bed. And tactfully reject her advances in bed to let her realise her ill-conduct and turn a new leaf.

He emphasized sleeping with her on the same bed but turning your back to her, you don't necessarily need to go and sleep in parlour on a couch or whatever.

Then, my mind was telling me that such a husband may need something to tidy up the powerhouse in order not to loose guard.

Women are great charmers or enchanters ever created, they have that magical powers to make a man loose guard.

📌 Thereafter, the Imam mentioned the last option to address an Nushooz which is hitting in a manner that is not painful.

He said Ibn Abbass mentioned hitting with something as light as checking stick.

The Imam mentioned that this hitting shouldn't be done in the children presence and not to beat her black and blue as it's rampant in our society.

He mentioned that he isn't among the righteous (best of us) the one who beats his wife.

Here are lessons from yesterday's Friday's Khutbah compiled by Ismaeel Akintayo Owolabi

I will like to read from you too, what did you gain from yesterday's Khutbah.

May Allah bless the imam, most of the things said here are what make marriages crashes, except we want to be economical with the truth, i am happily living with my wife and most times, when you try to be a good father and a husband people tend to misunderstand and think you are a SIMP, but real men will always do what will keep the marriage, and they are basic, if you wrong her apologies to her, when she is quite and sober, try to know what is happening to her and most importantly praise her, praising a woman makes her do things extra in the marraige....May Allah (S.W.T) bring peace to every trouble home Amin.

Edoreborn:
Nice one,,am going thru a lot in my marriage now because of money..May Allah make it easy for me

May Allah make it easy for you, your helper will locate you soon isha Allah yahaayu yaquyum

OZIOGU1:


May Allah make it easy for you, your helper will locate you soon isha Allah yahaayu yaquyum

Ameen..tnx a lot

akinsmail51:
So Imam (may Allaah preserve him upon goodness) continued his series of sermons on how to build working Islamic homes, may Allaah reward him abundantly.

If my memory serves me well, the Imam explained two major factors that bring about marital discord;

🎯 Absence of love in marriage
🎯 An Nushooz (Ill-conduct)

The Imam stated one of the causes of Marital Discord is sudden and continuous absence of love in marriage.

A man may just develop an intense dislike for his wife and vice versa, perhaps due to staying long period in marriage or other reasons such as stinginess on the part of husband, etc.

This point buttresses my stance that love wanes in Marriage, it could hardly be the sole reason that sustains marriage nor make it to thrive!

Then, he explained how to manage absence of love in marriage.

He quoted a verse of Quran where Allaah guides us on what to do in that circumstance.

Allaah says:

"And live with them (women) honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allaah brings through it a great deal of good." [al-Nisa 4:19]

Also, he cited the Hadith of Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) where he said:

"No believing man should hate a believing woman: if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will like another."

His advice could also be corroborated with athar from Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him)

‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said to a man who wanted to divorce his wife: Why do you want to divorce her?

He said: I do not love her.
He said: Are all families based on love only?
What about care and decency?

(‘Uyuun al-Akhbaar, 3/18).

The Imam said many women are in marriage not necessarily because of love.

He implored us men not to hastily opt for divorce whenever we perceive there's an absence of love in our marriages.

He urged us to keep these women in marriage even when the love is waned.

He said doing so will earn us great reward for implementing the verse of Quran quoted above and it may enable us to realize a great deal of good eventually!

Also, he mentioned how a wife can address absence of love in marriage as well most especially if she perceived this from her husband;

The wife should address this by having genuine communication with her husband and she may choose to drop some of her rights to address the issue as well.

The Imam (may Allaah reward him abundantly) mentioned the story of our mother Sawdah (may Allaah be pleased with her) with our noble Prophet Muhammad (may Allaah peace and blessings be upon him) who forsook her right and bequeathed it to the most beloved wife of the Prophet, Aishah (may Allaah be pleased with her).

Thereafter, our Imam moved on to the second causes of marital discord; An Nushooz (Ill-conduct)

He succinctly defined an Nushooz as a situation where each spouse fails to uphold each other rights in marriage.

Then, he explained to us how to tackle this ill-conduct in steps; the husband has to do the following to address an Nushooz.

📌 Admonition first. The husband should tactfully give admonish his wife, explain things to her properly and encourage her to uphold her duties towards him.

📌 Forsaking her on bed, by turning his back on her in bed. And tactfully reject her advances in bed to let her realise her ill-conduct and turn a new leaf.

He emphasized sleeping with her on the same bed but turning your back to her, you don't necessarily need to go and sleep in parlour on a couch or whatever.

Then, my mind was telling me that such a husband may need something to tidy up the powerhouse in order not to loose guard.

Women are great charmers or enchanters ever created, they have that magical powers to make a man loose guard.

📌 Thereafter, the Imam mentioned the last option to address an Nushooz which is hitting in a manner that is not painful.

He said Ibn Abbass mentioned hitting with something as light as checking stick.

The Imam mentioned that this hitting shouldn't be done in the children presence and not to beat her black and blue as it's rampant in our society.

He mentioned that he isn't among the righteous (best of us) the one who beats his wife.

Here are lessons from yesterday's Friday's Khutbah compiled by Ismaeel Akintayo Owolabi

I will like to read from you too, what did you gain from yesterday's Khutbah.

When you still believe your woman is different from others

Freedom4us:
It depends on who you follow.
If you are a moslem, then the quoran authorizes beating your wife.

Qur'an 4:34
"Men are the maintainers of women because
Allah has made some of them to
.....BEAT THEM

While the bible says Love ur wife

Eph 5:33
let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself

So it depends on who you follow

Go and ask Google how Islam told us to beat a wife before you type like primary 2 pikin

In Islam you beat your wife with the down end of the cloth you are wearing, it is more or less like playing, if you try to beat even 3 years old baby that way such child can not cry because your ability to more that part of your cloth to beat anyone is equivalent to playing

OZIOGU1:


May Allah bless the imam, most of the things said here are what make marriages crashes, except we want to be economical with the truth, i am happily living with my wife and most times, when you try to be a good father and a husband people tend to misunderstand and think you are a SIMP, but real men will always do what will keep the marriage, and they are basic, if you wrong her apologies to her, when she is quite and sober, try to know what is happening to her and most importantly praise her, praising a woman makes her do things extra in the marraige....May Allah (S.W.T) bring peace to every trouble home Amin.

You are right but not always, women are not wired to be pampered everytime, in today's marriage both man and woman need to study each other to avoid playing on one's intelligence..

JazakAllaah Kharan for the update and share.
May Allah grant us more wisdom and understanding.

MaShaAllah. JazakaLahuKhaira Akhee