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My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? - Family (9) - Nairaland

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Lady Heartbroken After Her Kid Sister Married Her Husband / Thoughts On Thread: She Married An Old Fashioned Man, Kindly Advise Her / She Married An Old Fashioned Man, Kindly Advise Her (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by November24(f): 8:06am On Oct 01, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:
Right now she needs advice on what to do and I'm also going to be sharing what I have advised her so far.

This man has used his foolishness to implicate my sister and their lovely kids. Before I go into details of what happened recently, I'll like to give a quick backstory of how all these came to be and how she even got herself into this mess

Backtrack to 2014 when she broke the news that someone was coming to see the family for her hand, I asked her who the person was but she refused to tell me saying I'll meet him when he comes. I was now like ha... This one you're hiding it. I never knew it was one useless guy that was living in our former area in the early 2000s that all he does then was stand at junctions disturbing girls. He also disturbed me one period like that and I so much dislike him because of his behavior plus he's fair and I dont fancy fair guys.

The day came and we started cooking. Already I had gotten a hint from my eldest sister that it's the guy and I said was that why she was hiding it? What's my own there. We move. As the day was approaching, my idowus husband called and told me to warn my sister that that guy she's pulling with is not it. That if she's trying to have something serious with him she'll be making a big mistake. I said, she's an adult and can make choices for herself.


He came with his people and we did everything and she moved in with him. Now, this guy doesn't do anything. He claims he's a lawyer but never goes to work. Most times he'll go for early morning training by 6am and after everyone has gone to work, he'll come home and be sleeping. initially my sister was covering him up that he's doing something but anytime I visit after school, I'll always meet him at home sleeping. I knew my sis was just covering him.

Before they married my sister owned a school that was doing well. After her first child the school was still doing well but they started having issues because she was the one bearing most of the financial burden in the house. Sometimes she would come to school with bruises on her face. Since she refused to talk, me I didn't bother asking because if I do she'll bark at me.it continue like that until she could no longer bear it and started opening up to me that the guy doesn't do anything. Just goes about from one junction to the other.

She took in for her second child and fell sick. The school suffered mismanagement and folded up. That was when the guy showed her his true color. They fought to the extent she left her kids and went to my sister's house. My elder sisters husband settled them and she went back.

She had her third child and the guy started his madness again. This time he would leave them and go for hours without food. When he's coming at night he'll buy food and call his children to come eat and leave my sister hungry. So anytime I go there I'll just find her something to eat. Sometimes not always.
The day I said enough is enough and decided to pull her out of that nonsense was the day she called me, I was in a bus and she said for two days now she has not eaten anything and she's having headache. That the guy said he'll deal with her. I told her to hold on and sent her the little I could that I'll come and see her.

I got there and told her she can't continue like this . I told her to start following me to school to learn how to do what I'm doing and I'll be giving her small small daily pay any day she goes with me and later she can start sourcing for her own schools and be making her own money. I put her through and took her to a school immediately and assigned her to some classes after watching me for a few mins.

We did that for a few weeks and I was giving her the small thing I could after each day. She started going out to look for schools and two schools called her. She now said she can't be following me again , I said no problem. God helped her, She now got more schools and started selling books too and making money.
When this guy saw it, he left feeding and only buys food for the children once in a while. Meanwhile their fighting continued.

Fast-forward to last year, the landlord called my sister that he has given the husband quit notice, not because he was owing but because he was always disrespecting the landlord. My sister tried to plead but he said it's not because of my sister but the husband. Now this guy's is so troublesome and brags a lot. He quarrels with the landlord a lot and always goes against the rules of the compound. I on the other hand have been telling my twin now that she has the money to get her own apartment and leave the lazy thing but she remained there.


Last two weeks Tuesday. during that heavy downpour, the landlord came with some police men and threw their things out in the rain as she was preparing her children for school. It was one of the police men that now had pity on her and said they should leave the things in the compound instead of throwing outside in the rain and helped my sister to bring then inside the gate. The husband ran away. After everything he called my sister to bring the children somewhere. When she got there it was a friend's house. He begged them to let his family stay the night and till now he's still there. I told my sister, shey I've been warning you about this guy. Bett look for a place and move in before this one's change their mind. Could you believe this man continued his laziness there? When everyone has gone out he'll go there and start sleeping till they come back from work and meet him. My sister said he has started quarrelling the man's wife . Someone who's squatting you you're challenging them.

he's talking about moving them to Mowe but my sister is not buying the idea and says she wants to get an apartment here on the mainland because of her job and move with only her children but I'm of the opinion that she should leave the children with him because if she goes with the children he'll run from his responsibility and never pay their school fees again.

What should she do because the guy travelled for his brothers burial now and the owner of the house was heard asking the wife why the guy and my sister are still in their house and said let him come back first . Meaning they are tired.

I've told her to get an apartment now o.



Good man and woman are underrated.
That's all I can say.

If you ask your sister, she once played with the heart of a good man and married this nonsense.

Truth is finding a good man in this generation is like finding needle in a stack of hay

1 Like

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by Kingcalls: 8:16am On Oct 01, 2023
UnfairLife7:
it is your responsibility as a man to make provisions while the woman takes care of the house and support in a little way.

We know these days , women wanna eat their cake and have it... women are becoming very irresponsible these days
Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by ThatFairGuy1: 8:25am On Oct 01, 2023
I see.

The struggling man you've been meeting are dark skin while the capable ones are fair men who aren't your spec.

You see, is God not wonderful cheesy
Jewessgratitud3:


My dear I'm telling you. It's one of the reasons I'm finding it difficult to even settle down with any struggling man. Before them turn me to one haggard old woman with responsibilities.

1 Like

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by clinician2x: 8:34am On Oct 01, 2023
Curse777:
cool



*and I so much dislike him because he's fair and I can't stand fair guys.

*they started having issues because she was the one bearing most of the financial burden in the house.

Summary of this long epistle

1: He first asked you out and you rejected, as a man he moved on to your sister and you resented him deeply

2: He is currently financially handicap and he irritates you, you hate poor men and poor men neither deserve marriage, or children

3: To you financial burden of a family is exclusive responsibility of a man


PS:

Dear Men, stay completely away from marriage if you are not financially bouyant as you are only rated for your financial strength by Women



.

Why exactly should a man not be working to provide for his kids. Is the woman asking for money for wig or phone? If he no work at his young age, is it when he is old he will work?

1 Like

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by Curse777: 8:36am On Oct 01, 2023
clinician2x:


Why exactly should a man not be working to provide for his kids. Is the woman asking for money for wig or phone? If he no work at his young age, is it when he is old he will work?

Atleast he pays rent and school fees

And unemployment rate in Nigeria is double digit

Should he go and commit crime or do rituals


.
Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by jaxxy(m): 8:38am On Oct 01, 2023
Lol ur sister married wahala with her eyes wide open and now wahala has shown up u want us to tell her what to do? undecided

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by dangotesmummy: 8:42am On Oct 01, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:

He does one part-time business that doesn't sell all the time like that. I think that's how he gets his money but it's not like a regular job that brings in steady money. Instead of him to go look for a regular job that he's sure of getting money every month, he'll rather sleep all through.

I've told my sis to advise him to get a Keke or car for Uber, she said he'll be forming a whole lawyer. Lawyer for this hard time that every body is doing any kind of hustle to put food on the table for their family? Hian!

Even me as a lady I have thought of riding danfo a long time ago when I didn't have anything doing. Nothing wey no come my head that period until I now prayerfully asked God to direct me and lead me to the path I am today. It wasnt rosy at first cos I was earning 18k then but I continued just to be leaving the house and from there I continued till I got here. Why will a man not use his brain and do same?

I see family men coming to schools everyday to look for jobs and they are getting jobs, can't he do same pending when his dream job comes? Na to dey speak English up and down instead of putting that English to good use and make money.
lol your sister married agbero,werey alasho and your sister kept indulging his laziness by birthing more kids.

The man might be lazy and irritating but he don manipulate your sister finish that no matter how you advise her e no go enter her ear.solution LEAVE HER AND HER FAMILY ALONE,WHEN HER DEAD BEAT HUSBAND OSINACHIZE HER,You know in your mind that you have tried rescuing her Na she no gree.moreover you cannot help anyone that doesn't want to be helped.

LEAVE HER ALONE AND FACE YOUR LIFE I am sure your own burdens are enough to carry.life has a way of teaching everyone their own lesson.some people are just born to suffer and be a victim of their own foolishness and no Matter how much warning you give her,she no go hear word.now do you know why I said you should leave her alone and face your life? It's either he kills her or she kills him and It will not be nice that you're caught in between their madness.

If you don't stay away from them and anything negative sup,you Will be forcefully involved because people will testify and say they used to see you go to their house to settle issues,they used to see you take her to so so place,then by that time you too will pay for trying to advise a fool.police go dey invite you for questioning and to write statement.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by Jewessgratitud3: 8:49am On Oct 01, 2023
Skyview01:


The guy is a lost case. He will never get back on his feet in this life and will drag your sister down with him.

Let her get out now while she still can.

Exactly. He'll drag her down like he did before that her school now collapsed. All the money she was making from the school she was using to cater for him and their first child then.

Imagine, whenever he runs out before the children comes back from school so they won't meet him at home, its my sister they'll come and meet. Only that afternoon and night feeding alone gulps her pay from one school. It's with agidi she'll now try to save from other monies coming from other schools. Still...

I'm not even talking of toiletries and their clothes that she caters for. He will only come back at midnight with one small thing and give three of them to share. Will she be looking at them throughout that afternoon and night without giving them something? And people are here saying he's feeding them. That one na feeding? Abi because I no wan talk?

I've told her. If she likes let her stay there.

2 Likes

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by dangotesmummy: 8:50am On Oct 01, 2023
Curse777:


Atleast he pays rent and school fees

And unemployment rate in Nigeria is double digit

Should he go and commit crime or do rituals


.
he should get the fvck out of the bed and stop deceiving himself.he should take his Destiny in his hands,do anything legitimate to make money.if Na uber make he do uber.

It's his wife enabling his laziness and any woman that enables the laziness of a man will be the primary Victim of it.

He sleeps when others go to work and you as a wife go to work and come back to still cook for him with your own money,you're a fool and if you don't use frustration and nagging to kill him,he will use domestic violence to kill you his wife

I mean it's a different case if he was working before and lost his job but he's making obvious efforts to get out of the situation but you are there Still cooking for him with the sweat of your money and you're still opening your legs for him.youre even worse than a prostitute.at least a prostitute will ask for money before sex or not even allow a broke man touch her.

1 Like

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by HAROLDWILSON: 8:51am On Oct 01, 2023
Tell your sister to become useless as her husband, then their marriage will blossom.

1 Like

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by Think9ja(m): 8:51am On Oct 01, 2023
Mercylike:
boss no one is above mistake haba but I think Jewessgratitud3 is also lying... She is trying to paint the man bad and it is not as it is

Women generally make poor choices when it comes to men. Tall, dark, handsome and can fvck well is not enough to marry a man.
You will hear men talking about wife material. Hardly will you hear women talking about husband material. Their own is whether he has money and is tall and dark.

God go help una.

2 Likes

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by Levels1(m): 8:59am On Oct 01, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:


Ok. You're entitled to Your opinion


At least you asked for opinions.

I expect you to admit He's not jobless but not financial stable and as such you detest that.

Or you explain how he managed to foot other bills according to you.
Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by BaddestQueen(f): 8:59am On Oct 01, 2023
ThatFairGuy1:
I see.

The struggling man you've been meeting are dark skin while the capable ones are fair men who aren't your spec.

You see, is God not wonderful cheesy
do you love me šŸ˜­šŸ˜­
Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by Jewessgratitud3: 9:03am On Oct 01, 2023
okoroemeka:
this is a very bad advice,when will a man be financially buoyant?will fate and destiny fold their hands and wait for you to be financially buoyant?how much do you think a man will have before he can say he is financially buoyant?the success of a marriage depends mostly on the character of the individuals involved,if you read the story carefully,the lady is not complaining that his sister's husband is poor,but he is lazy with no potentials and also zero proactive reasoning to better himself,a man sleeping in the morning when you didn't work night shift is a red flag,I personally got married in 2000 at 25yrs when I saw a partner and companion that I will spent my life with,I was not rich but hardworking which is what matters, currently now 4 of my children are in the university and I am expecting to be a grandfather by next year,if you want to be rich like dangote before getting married that is your choice but don't discourage other.

God bless you Sir. A whole able bodied man will be sleeping from 7am to 2pm and the worst part hell not go and pick the children from school. The school will be calling their mom from work because he told them not to be calling him again to come and pick them. On days when my sister is covering a big school or covering both primary and secondary school, she'll close a bit late like after two, the children will be locked outside and she'll be rushing to their school to pick them because of the smallest one while their father will have run out so they won't meet him and start demanding for food. Ask me where he'll be? Junction looking like a lost sheep.

1 Like

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by Jewessgratitud3: 9:19am On Oct 01, 2023
ThatFairGuy1:
I see.

The struggling man you've been meeting are dark skin while the capable ones are fair men who aren't your spec.

You see, is God not wonderful cheesy

Wetin dey worry this bororo? tongue. I no like fair guys na by force?
Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by frog12: 9:21am On Oct 01, 2023
fake story. i ask you why your sister can't get a divorce

Jewessgratitud3:


God bless you Sir. A whole able bodied man will be sleeping from 7am to 2pm and the worst part hell not go and pick the children from school. The school will be calling their mom from work because he told them not to be calling him again to come and pick them. On days when my sister is covering a big school or covering both primary and secondary school, she'll close a bit late like after two, the children will be locked outside and she'll be rushing to their school to pick them because of the smallest one while their father will have run out so they won't meet him and start demanding for food. Ask me where he'll be? Junction looking like a lost sheep.

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by stanliwise(m): 9:26am On Oct 01, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:
Right now she needs advice on what to do and I'm also going to be sharing what I have advised her so far.

This man has used his foolishness to implicate my sister and their lovely kids. Before I go into details of what happened recently, I'll like to give a quick backstory of how all these came to be and how she even got herself into this mess

Backtrack to 2014 when she broke the news that someone was coming to see the family for her hand, I asked her who the person was but she refused to tell me saying I'll meet him when he comes. I was now like ha... This one you're hiding it. I never knew it was one useless guy that was living in our former area in the early 2000s that all he does then was stand at junctions disturbing girls. He also disturbed me one period like that and I so much dislike him because of his behavior plus he's fair and I dont fancy fair guys.

The day came and we started cooking. Already I had gotten a hint from my eldest sister that it's the guy and I said was that why she was hiding it? What's my own there. We move. As the day was approaching, my idowus husband called and told me to warn my sister that that guy she's pulling with is not it. That if she's trying to have something serious with him she'll be making a big mistake. I said, she's an adult and can make choices for herself.


He came with his people and we did everything and she moved in with him. Now, this guy doesn't do anything. He claims he's a lawyer but never goes to work. Most times he'll go for early morning training by 6am and after everyone has gone to work, he'll come home and be sleeping. initially my sister was covering him up that he's doing something but anytime I visit after school, I'll always meet him at home sleeping. I knew my sis was just covering him.

Before they married my sister owned a school that was doing well. After her first child the school was still doing well but they started having issues because she was the one bearing most of the financial burden in the house. Sometimes she would come to school with bruises on her face. Since she refused to talk, me I didn't bother asking because if I do she'll bark at me.it continue like that until she could no longer bear it and started opening up to me that the guy doesn't do anything. Just goes about from one junction to the other.

She took in for her second child and fell sick. The school suffered mismanagement and folded up. That was when the guy showed her his true color. They fought to the extent she left her kids and went to my sister's house. My elder sisters husband settled them and she went back.

She had her third child and the guy started his madness again. This time he would leave them and go for hours without food. When he's coming at night he'll buy food and call his children to come eat and leave my sister hungry. So anytime I go there I'll just find her something to eat. Sometimes not always.
The day I said enough is enough and decided to pull her out of that nonsense was the day she called me, I was in a bus and she said for two days now she has not eaten anything and she's having headache. That the guy said he'll deal with her. I told her to hold on and sent her the little I could that I'll come and see her.

I got there and told her she can't continue like this . I told her to start following me to school to learn how to do what I'm doing and I'll be giving her small small daily pay any day she goes with me and later she can start sourcing for her own schools and be making her own money. I put her through and took her to a school immediately and assigned her to some classes after watching me for a few mins.

We did that for a few weeks and I was giving her the small thing I could after each day. She started going out to look for schools and two schools called her. She now said she can't be following me again , I said no problem. God helped her, She now got more schools and started selling books too and making money.
When this guy saw it, he left feeding and only buys food for the children once in a while. Meanwhile their fighting continued.

Fast-forward to last year, the landlord called my sister that he has given the husband quit notice, not because he was owing but because he was always disrespecting the landlord. My sister tried to plead but he said it's not because of my sister but the husband. Now this guy's is so troublesome and brags a lot. He quarrels with the landlord a lot and always goes against the rules of the compound. I on the other hand have been telling my twin now that she has the money to get her own apartment and leave the lazy thing but she remained there.


Last two weeks Tuesday. during that heavy downpour, the landlord came with some police men and threw their things out in the rain as she was preparing her children for school. It was one of the police men that now had pity on her and said they should leave the things in the compound instead of throwing outside in the rain and helped my sister to bring then inside the gate. The husband ran away. After everything he called my sister to bring the children somewhere. When she got there it was a friend's house. He begged them to let his family stay the night and till now he's still there. I told my sister, shey I've been warning you about this guy. Bett look for a place and move in before this one's change their mind. Could you believe this man continued his laziness there? When everyone has gone out he'll go there and start sleeping till they come back from work and meet him. My sister said he has started quarrelling the man's wife . Someone who's squatting you you're challenging them.

he's talking about moving them to Mowe but my sister is not buying the idea and says she wants to get an apartment here on the mainland because of her job and move with only her children but I'm of the opinion that she should leave the children with him because if she goes with the children he'll run from his responsibility and never pay their school fees again.

What should she do because the guy travelled for his brothers burial now and the owner of the house was heard asking the wife why the guy and my sister are still in their house and said let him come back first . Meaning they are tired.

I've told her to get an apartment now o.


Your sister don tie big stone to her leg o. Youā€™re advising her to quit marriage as if it is even easy with the type of man she is with. Like like this, make your sis lock up and bear responsibilities of her decision. If the physical assault continues, she should divorce him legally and prepare to care for the children herself.

That said, please donā€™t in anyway share the bad blood you have for this man on decisions for your sister, be holistic. I sense some of that in your story. He is the father of her kids and he is your sisterā€™s husband. Also acknowledge your sister deserve to pay for some of her decisions as well. Donā€™t give a dog a bad name so you can hang it

1 Like

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by Jeezuzpick(m): 9:27am On Oct 01, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:
Right now she needs advice on what to do and I'm also going to be sharing what I have advised her so far.

This man has used his foolishness to implicate my sister and their lovely kids. Before I go into details of what happened recently, I'll like to give a quick backstory of how all these came to be and how she even got herself into this mess

Backtrack to 2014 when she broke the news that someone was coming to see the family for her hand, I asked her who the person was but she refused to tell me saying I'll meet him when he comes. I was now like ha... This one you're hiding it. I never knew it was one useless guy that was living in our former area in the early 2000s that all he does then was stand at junctions disturbing girls. He also disturbed me one period like that and I so much dislike him because of his behavior plus he's fair and I dont fancy fair guys.

The day came and we started cooking. Already I had gotten a hint from my eldest sister that it's the guy and I said was that why she was hiding it? What's my own there. We move. As the day was approaching, my idowus husband called and told me to warn my sister that that guy she's pulling with is not it. That if she's trying to have something serious with him she'll be making a big mistake. I said, she's an adult and can make choices for herself.


He came with his people and we did everything and she moved in with him. Now, this guy doesn't do anything. He claims he's a lawyer but never goes to work. Most times he'll go for early morning training by 6am and after everyone has gone to work, he'll come home and be sleeping. initially my sister was covering him up that he's doing something but anytime I visit after school, I'll always meet him at home sleeping. I knew my sis was just covering him.

Before they married my sister owned a school that was doing well. After her first child the school was still doing well but they started having issues because she was the one bearing most of the financial burden in the house. Sometimes she would come to school with bruises on her face. Since she refused to talk, me I didn't bother asking because if I do she'll bark at me.it continue like that until she could no longer bear it and started opening up to me that the guy doesn't do anything. Just goes about from one junction to the other.

She took in for her second child and fell sick. The school suffered mismanagement and folded up. That was when the guy showed her his true color. They fought to the extent she left her kids and went to my sister's house. My elder sisters husband settled them and she went back.

She had her third child and the guy started his madness again. This time he would leave them and go for hours without food. When he's coming at night he'll buy food and call his children to come eat and leave my sister hungry. So anytime I go there I'll just find her something to eat. Sometimes not always.
The day I said enough is enough and decided to pull her out of that nonsense was the day she called me, I was in a bus and she said for two days now she has not eaten anything and she's having headache. That the guy said he'll deal with her. I told her to hold on and sent her the little I could that I'll come and see her.

I got there and told her she can't continue like this . I told her to start following me to school to learn how to do what I'm doing and I'll be giving her small small daily pay any day she goes with me and later she can start sourcing for her own schools and be making her own money. I put her through and took her to a school immediately and assigned her to some classes after watching me for a few mins.

We did that for a few weeks and I was giving her the small thing I could after each day. She started going out to look for schools and two schools called her. She now said she can't be following me again , I said no problem. God helped her, She now got more schools and started selling books too and making money.
When this guy saw it, he left feeding and only buys food for the children once in a while. Meanwhile their fighting continued.

Fast-forward to last year, the landlord called my sister that he has given the husband quit notice, not because he was owing but because he was always disrespecting the landlord. My sister tried to plead but he said it's not because of my sister but the husband. Now this guy's is so troublesome and brags a lot. He quarrels with the landlord a lot and always goes against the rules of the compound. I on the other hand have been telling my twin now that she has the money to get her own apartment and leave the lazy thing but she remained there.


Last two weeks Tuesday. during that heavy downpour, the landlord came with some police men and threw their things out in the rain as she was preparing her children for school. It was one of the police men that now had pity on her and said they should leave the things in the compound instead of throwing outside in the rain and helped my sister to bring then inside the gate. The husband ran away. After everything he called my sister to bring the children somewhere. When she got there it was a friend's house. He begged them to let his family stay the night and till now he's still there. I told my sister, shey I've been warning you about this guy. Bett look for a place and move in before this one's change their mind. Could you believe this man continued his laziness there? When everyone has gone out he'll go there and start sleeping till they come back from work and meet him. My sister said he has started quarrelling the man's wife . Someone who's squatting you you're challenging them.

he's talking about moving them to Mowe but my sister is not buying the idea and says she wants to get an apartment here on the mainland because of her job and move with only her children but I'm of the opinion that she should leave the children with him because if she goes with the children he'll run from his responsibility and never pay their school fees again.

What should she do because the guy travelled for his brothers burial now and the owner of the house was heard asking the wife why the guy and my sister are still in their house and said let him come back first . Meaning they are tired.

I've told her to get an apartment now o.



Na redpiller she go marry.

Eeyahhh....

1 Like

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by VeeVeeMyLuv(m): 9:31am On Oct 01, 2023
November24:


Good man and woman are underrated.
That's all I can say.

If you ask your sister, she once played with the heart of a good man and married this nonsense.

Truth is finding a good man in this generation is like finding needle in a stack of hay
Beware you ladies have diverse definitions of what a good man is šŸ¤”
Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by stanliwise(m): 9:33am On Oct 01, 2023
Curse777:
cool



*and I so much dislike him because he's fair and I can't stand fair guys.

*they started having issues because she was the one bearing most of the financial burden in the house.

Summary of this long epistle

1: He first asked you out and you rejected, as a man he moved on to your sister and you resented him deeply

2: He is currently financially handicap and he irritates you, you hate poor men and poor men neither deserve marriage, or children

3: To you financial burden of a family is exclusive responsibility of a man


PS:

Dear Men, stay completely away from marriage if you are not financially bouyant as you are only rated for your financial strength by Women



.
You brain dry o. After three kids
Is it that someone part of the story arenā€™t true, is it that the man didnā€™t do enough and his kids are in his friends place?

She obviously has some bad blood for the said man. But that being said, a man is responsible for what happens to his family, the man in this story hasnā€™t done enough

1 Like

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by VeeVeeMyLuv(m): 9:35am On Oct 01, 2023
stanliwise:

You brain dry o. After three kids
Is it that someone part of the story arenā€™t true, is it that the man didnā€™t do enough and his kids are in his friends place?

She obviously has some bad blood for the said man. But that being said, a man is responsible for what happens to his family, the man in this story hasnā€™t done enough
That enough seems not to be enough for the sister

It is contentment that makes what is available bountiful
Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by stanliwise(m): 9:38am On Oct 01, 2023
VeeVeeMyLuv:

That enough seems not to be enough for the sister
If the kids are homeless and squatting in a friends place. You canā€™t call that enough.

We like to bash women for pressuring men but in as much we must acknowledge when something doesnā€™t seem right except we are just trolling

1 Like

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by princetom1(m): 9:43am On Oct 01, 2023
How does someone who has nothing doing pay school fees and buy food sometimes? šŸ¤” šŸ¤” šŸ¤” šŸ¤”
Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by tallfish145(m): 9:54am On Oct 01, 2023
Curse777:
cool



*and I so much dislike him because he's fair and I can't stand fair guys.

*they started having issues because she was the one bearing most of the financial burden in the house.

Summary of this long epistle

1: He first asked you out and you rejected, as a man he moved on to your sister and you resented him deeply

2: He is currently financially handicap and he irritates you, you hate poor men and poor men neither deserve marriage, or children

3: To you financial burden of a family is exclusive responsibility of a man


PS:

Dear Men, stay completely away from marriage if you are not financially bouyant as you are only rated for your financial strength by Women



.
your jugdement is totally wrong and bias. Let me ask you,can you cope with a lazy and financially reckless woman who has nothing to contribute to the family? The man according to the story is lazy and unserious element

1 Like

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by jkingx(m): 9:55am On Oct 01, 2023
Jewessgratitud3:
Right now she needs advice on what to do and I'm also going to be sharing what I have advised her so far.

This man has used his foolishness to implicate my sister and their lovely kids. Before I go into details of what happened recently, I'll like to give a quick backstory of how all these came to be and how she even got herself into this mess

Backtrack to 2014 when she broke the news that someone was coming to see the family for her hand, I asked her who the person was but she refused to tell me saying I'll meet him when he comes. I was now like ha... This one you're hiding it. I never knew it was one useless guy that was living in our former area in the early 2000s that all he does then was stand at junctions disturbing girls. He also disturbed me one period like that and I so much dislike him because of his behavior plus he's fair and I dont fancy fair guys.

The day came and we started cooking. Already I had gotten a hint from my eldest sister that it's the guy and I said was that why she was hiding it? What's my own there. We move. As the day was approaching, my idowus husband called and told me to warn my sister that that guy she's pulling with is not it. That if she's trying to have something serious with him she'll be making a big mistake. I said, she's an adult and can make choices for herself.


He came with his people and we did everything and she moved in with him. Now, this guy doesn't do anything. He claims he's a lawyer but never goes to work. Most times he'll go for early morning training by 6am and after everyone has gone to work, he'll come home and be sleeping. initially my sister was covering him up that he's doing something but anytime I visit after school, I'll always meet him at home sleeping. I knew my sis was just covering him.

Before they married my sister owned a school that was doing well. After her first child the school was still doing well but they started having issues because she was the one bearing most of the financial burden in the house. Sometimes she would come to school with bruises on her face. Since she refused to talk, me I didn't bother asking because if I do she'll bark at me.it continue like that until she could no longer bear it and started opening up to me that the guy doesn't do anything. Just goes about from one junction to the other.

She took in for her second child and fell sick. The school suffered mismanagement and folded up. That was when the guy showed her his true color. They fought to the extent she left her kids and went to my sister's house. My elder sisters husband settled them and she went back.

She had her third child and the guy started his madness again. This time he would leave them and go for hours without food. When he's coming at night he'll buy food and call his children to come eat and leave my sister hungry. So anytime I go there I'll just find her something to eat. Sometimes not always.
The day I said enough is enough and decided to pull her out of that nonsense was the day she called me, I was in a bus and she said for two days now she has not eaten anything and she's having headache. That the guy said he'll deal with her. I told her to hold on and sent her the little I could that I'll come and see her.

I got there and told her she can't continue like this . I told her to start following me to school to learn how to do what I'm doing and I'll be giving her small small daily pay any day she goes with me and later she can start sourcing for her own schools and be making her own money. I put her through and took her to a school immediately and assigned her to some classes after watching me for a few mins.

We did that for a few weeks and I was giving her the small thing I could after each day. She started going out to look for schools and two schools called her. She now said she can't be following me again , I said no problem. God helped her, She now got more schools and started selling books too and making money.
When this guy saw it, he left feeding and only buys food for the children once in a while. Meanwhile their fighting continued.

Fast-forward to last year, the landlord called my sister that he has given the husband quit notice, not because he was owing but because he was always disrespecting the landlord. My sister tried to plead but he said it's not because of my sister but the husband. Now this guy's is so troublesome and brags a lot. He quarrels with the landlord a lot and always goes against the rules of the compound. I on the other hand have been telling my twin now that she has the money to get her own apartment and leave the lazy thing but she remained there.


Last two weeks Tuesday. during that heavy downpour, the landlord came with some police men and threw their things out in the rain as she was preparing her children for school. It was one of the police men that now had pity on her and said they should leave the things in the compound instead of throwing outside in the rain and helped my sister to bring then inside the gate. The husband ran away. After everything he called my sister to bring the children somewhere. When she got there it was a friend's house. He begged them to let his family stay the night and till now he's still there. I told my sister, shey I've been warning you about this guy. Bett look for a place and move in before this one's change their mind. Could you believe this man continued his laziness there? When everyone has gone out he'll go there and start sleeping till they come back from work and meet him. My sister said he has started quarrelling the man's wife . Someone who's squatting you you're challenging them.

he's talking about moving them to Mowe but my sister is not buying the idea and says she wants to get an apartment here on the mainland because of her job and move with only her children but I'm of the opinion that she should leave the children with him because if she goes with the children he'll run from his responsibility and never pay their school fees again.

What should she do because the guy travelled for his brothers burial now and the owner of the house was heard asking the wife why the guy and my sister are still in their house and said let him come back first . Meaning they are tired.

I've told her to get an apartment now o.


To be honest, I didn't read a single word. The answer you seek is straightforward from the title of the post. She must live her choice till death do them part.
Was that not part of her vow?

1 Like

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by Oluwadarasimi19(m): 10:15am On Oct 01, 2023
Luckysbab:


Why are you bothered about getting married, when una don say marriage isn't an achievement?

Marry your work and enjoy your life. Leave marriage for the "pickmes"
Na women dey call other women pick mes. Women and labels na 5 and 6.

2 Likes

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by Afolue(m): 10:16am On Oct 01, 2023
She was just destined to come across such a man. Quite unfortunate. Someone everyone knows. Still yet refused advices. She born 1,2,3 children for the guy, haaa. She no pity herself
Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by Rajosh(m): 10:17am On Oct 01, 2023
She should not only leave the house. She should leave the marriage.
Haba

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by ThatFairGuy1: 10:17am On Oct 01, 2023
Do you love fair guy?
BaddestQueen:
do you love me šŸ˜­šŸ˜­
Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by Oluwadarasimi19(m): 10:18am On Oct 01, 2023
Luckysbab:



This one dey find expo.

Marry Italian or French man; they say they are romantic.
The fact is, women know these good guys. They are in their dms. They've been friendzoned.

1 Like

Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by Afolue(m): 10:18am On Oct 01, 2023
But the story is not complete, if he doesnā€™t do anything, where does he see money to do anything at allā€¦ not to talk of going for burial and feeding his kids at one point in time ?
Re: My Sister Married An Efulefu. What Should She Do? by ThatFairGuy1: 10:22am On Oct 01, 2023
Wetin fair guys do you? undecided

You don't like cute kids? Skin like milk kids?

Go marry your black pot in peace tongue
Jewessgratitud3:


Wetin dey worry this bororo? tongue. I no like fair guys na by force?

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